Chapter 55
CEZAR
“Mmm… Petal, my Petal. I can tell you want to ask me more.” I murmured against her mouth as we pulled apart just long enough to breathe.
“… yeah.” Her voice was barely there. “I just wonder, have you ever tried to run?”
If she weren’t glued to me, I wouldn’t have heard her.
“Yes.” I tensed, every muscle locking. “Once.”
“What happened?” She followed me onto my back, then made herself comfortable at my side, using me like a pillow, her leg looping over mine.
“He made good on his promise.”
“What did he do, Cezar?”
“My brothers were on their way to meet some shady people. And I know—coming from us, that’s saying something. But these guys? Worse. A deal had been made, and all they had to do was pick up the product.”
I took a few breaths.
“They got there, and it was an ambush.”
Her fingers stilled on my ribs.
“The men who went with them? Dead. And my brothers; I heard they were in the hospital. So I came back. I had to. I needed to make sure they were going to be ok.”
My jaw flexed.
“Codrin had a stab wound. A few inches over and he’d be gone. Darius took a blow to the head so hard that he was out for hours, and his leg was broken. And I know his leg still bothers him.”
A long sigh left me. The image of my lifeless brothers in hospital beds brought me right back to my mom.
“All of it—every bit—was orchestrated by my father. He put them in there to punish me. To remind me that control was his and his alone.”
I felt her chest rise against my side as she absorbed it.
“How can you be certain it was him?” Her voice was careful, cautious—but not doubtful. She just wanted to understand. It felt good to talk to someone who actually listened. Someone who understood my pain. Even if she didn’t want to relive her nightmares.
I toyed with a strand of her hair.
“When I got to the hospital, I went into Codrin’s room first. No guards. No men posted at the door. Nothing. He knew I would come because he knew I cared.”
“What caught my eye was a note on the table beside his bed. Just sitting there. He’d left it for me.”
“What did the note say, Cezar?”
“It said, ‘If only you would have stayed.’” I wiped at my face, and I could hear Lina’s soft sobs. The last thing I wanted was for her to share my sadness. I didn’t want her to feel this pain.
“Cezar… God, I’m so sorry.” I never liked pity from anyone. But the way she apologized made my heart ache a little less.
What am I going to do with her?
“Honestly, my father has only ever cared about control, fear, and power. He knows how much I care about them. The love I have for the ones I truly call family is a weakness, and he does not hesitate to exploit that.”
Lina snapped up so quickly it scared me. She glared with her intense emerald eyes. “Not true. You have no idea what kind of power love like that yields, Cezar.” Her expression softened. She leaned in, kissing me—small kisses across my mouth, my cheek, my jaw.
Patching me together one touch at a time, she was showering me with what I could only hope was love.
Please let it be love.
I kissed her back, and as much as I wanted to fuck her again, we were both exhausted. From our play earlier and all of the feels. I loved being inside of her almost as much as I loved cuddling her after. The fact that she let me this close without a blade pressed to my throat still baffled me.
I muttered, “Petal, I forgot to tell you about the scar on my eye.”
She tilted her head slightly, listening.
“It was a gift from my father. The night he killed my mom. He pulled me in and cut me. Then he blamed her death on some rival gang, told my brothers I couldn’t protect her, and that’s why she was gone.
Codrin eventually accepted it, I think. We were always close.
I guess he just… believed I failed her.”
My voice thinned.
“Darius hates me. But that’s okay. I’d rather have him hate me than know the truth. No point in all of us suffocating in the same misery. I’ll take the blame for as long as my mind and body will allow.”
I was only eleven.
She held my arm tighter around her waist as we drifted off. Nothing would change the past I had to live through.
As much as I’d wanted to seek refuge in death, I was glad I’d endured all the suffering. Surviving meant I got to have her—my Petal. She was my everything. She had saved me.
I love her.