Chapter 57
ADELINA
Cezar got up to make lunch, and I was internally losing my goddamn mind. I felt like we were in a relationship, like he was mine and I was his. He was suffocating me, I was drowning in him, and the problem was I didn’t mind that I couldn’t fucking breathe.
Everything seemed like it was falling apart in the best way. I couldn’t give up what I had worked for, but I didn’t want to give him up either.
Fuck, what am I going to do?
It had been a long time since I talked to Stefan—the man who raised me after my parents were murdered. Doubt gnawed at me, and I needed answers. Needed clarity about where I came from, who I was, what I was turning into.
The phone rang forever. It felt like falling through a black hole until a distant voice finally surfaced with a quiet hello.
Stefan always knew what I was up to, even though I barely talked to him. He kept tabs, whether he said it outright or not.
“Hi…” I said, not meaning to be quiet; it was just hard to breathe.
“Lina, it’s been a while. How have you been?”
“I am sure you have heard.”
“I hear plenty,” he countered. “That doesn’t tell me how you are.”
“Confused…”
“Cezar?” Stefan suggested.
“Hmm.”
“Listen,” he sighed. “From what I’ve heard, he’s a good one. I don’t blame you for wanting what you want when it comes to his father, but when it comes to him? There’s nothing wrong with loving him.”
Love?
Stefan kept talking about how good Cezar was for me—even with Viktor poisoning his bloodline. He didn’t tell me to abandon my revenge, but how the hell was I supposed to have both?
What the fuck was Cezar going to think when he learned who I really was? I never used him, not once. But would he see it that way? With how many people loved him and hurt him for their own pleasure.
I cut Stefan off. “Were… were my parents monsters like Viktor?”
I was so young when everything happened, I couldn’t clearly remember much of anything. Did they hide the worst parts from me?
Were they just as cruel as the man I wanted dead?
“Lina, stop,” Stefan said firmly. “Your parents weren’t monsters. Cruel, yes. Ruthless, yes. But in the ways that protected you and the people they cared for. The ones they killed deserved it. They even kept a ledger.”
My breath lodged in my chest.
“You were everything to them,” he continued. “Everything. Down to the name of their syndicate. Crimson for your red hair… and Rose for your birth month. June.”
I could tell Stefan had more he wanted to say.
There would always be more. He cared for my parents in his own way, but loyalty over love never wins.
Tears burned behind my eyes, and I wanted to scream.
Everything scraped old wounds back to the surface, yet it also solidified something brutal and absolute inside me.
I would take what I wanted. Cezar and Viktor would both be mine.
Just as I was saying goodbye, he walked into the room. He didn’t speak at first—he just sat next to me while I curled my arms around my legs. Cezar pulled me in, holding me tight, rocking us gently.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“You know my family was murdered when I was younger.”
He nodded.
“I had someone who stepped in. A father figure, I guess.” I stopped there, letting him comprehend what I just said.
He loosened his hold and gave me a confused look. Everything about Stefan, everything about the Crimson Rose… all of it sat between us like a loaded gun.
The secrets were eating me alive.
“I can’t tell you his name,” I admitted, “but he taught me everything I know. How to infiltrate. Gather intel. Kill. How to keep allies by having mutual enemies.”
Cezar’s hand tightened around my legs. “What happened, Lina?”
“He sold my family out.”
His body tensed at my words.
“He was my father’s right hand,” I continued. “He knew everything about us. He was practically family. Then one night—an important night—it all fell apart. My parents were gone. And the only reason I survived is because he got me out.” I took a deep breath.
Cezar frowned. “Did he have a change of heart?”
“It wasn’t that.” My voice fractured. “He’s never forgiven himself.
And he shouldn’t. I haven’t either. He found out what was promised to him—his family’s safety—was a lie.
His wife and kids were murdered the same night my family was.
By the time he realized it, it was too late to save anyone but me. ”
Cezar clenched his jaw.
“Innocent lives taken because of greed and power. I’m not a saint, but I’d never be that fucking evil. He raised me. Trained me. Taught me what I needed for the only future I wanted—revenge.”
My voice softened. “I understand now. Having something—someone—you can lose… it changes everything. The things you’d do, the people you’d give up. Love makes monsters of us all.”
My head jerked slightly in panic—I hadn’t meant to say that word out loud—but I forced myself to stay still. I didn’t need Cezar catching on to anything I wasn’t ready to admit.
He stayed quiet for a long moment. I hadn’t moved from the tight ball I’d folded into. When he spoke, his voice was low, steady.
“Lina, I don’t know this man,” he said, “but he clearly did something right when it came to you. And I’m sorry for what he did. I know what betrayal feels like. You’re not alone.”
A shaky smile tugged at my mouth as I wiped my tears away.
Not alone. What a terrifying thing to be.
We held each other for a long time before he shook his head, muttering, “Fuck… the food.”
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me to the kitchen.
He set me in a chair, still visibly rattled, and started cleaning the disaster he’d made by forgetting the food existed in the first place.
I watched him in silence, the emotional whiplash of the last few days sinking into my bones.
I’d had an incredible time with him, maybe the best of my life.
The fucking emotions were too much—past, present, future—and they kept catching up, trying to eat me from the inside.
“Cezar, I don’t want to go back to reality.” I finally broke the silence. “But we have to.”
“I know.”
He didn’t even look at me. “I figured you’d say that eventually… even though I was hoping you wouldn’t.”
He turned, staring at me with those sorrowful eyes. I wish this were the life we lived. Peaceful.
Unfortunately, murder and chaos followed us, and someday that would bury us both.