Epilogue
It was early evening, and to walk in the warmer climate, having left the spring frost of Blighty behind, felt like such a treat, as if to be in sunshine was doubly welcome when everyone else was reaching for bed socks and hot-water bottles.
She could see why her parents loved this country.
It had been nice to see them, although how Angela managed a full month in their company was beyond her. An angel indeed.
‘Don’t lie in the sun! You’ll only go pink and peel! And don’t leave any sandwiches in your backpack, take it from one who knows.’ Angela’s kindly parting advice. It made her laugh even now.
It had been a wrench to leave Amelia, knowing that any time away and she would miss the changes that seemed to occur daily. Holly had promised to keep her up to date with pictures galore and FaceTime calls whenever she fancied.
Iris too had promised to let her know when her morning sickness subsided.
It was beyond thrilling, another baby on the way!
Trish was beside herself, on the phone several times a day with ideas on everything from nursery décor to a birth plan.
Not that Enya begrudged her a moment of it, understanding the incredible, life-changing thing it was when your baby had a baby.
A thing that meant the world to her and Jenny, a special bond they shared.
Aiden had driven her to the airport, arriving early to pick her up. He had beeped the horn. ‘Get a wiggle on! We need to go!’ he yelled through the car window, and, ‘What’ll happen if you miss your flight?’
‘I’ll just get the next one.’
She’d beamed at him, this boy of theirs who made her proud every day, a wonderful man, a great dad and so, so in love with Iris, it warmed her heart to see.
Her stomach now rolled with anticipation, proud of herself, having successfully booked her trip, jumped on a plane. She had even managed to shut the overhead locker and grab a cab, all without Jonathan by her side; she felt invigorated, strong!
With her blue silk espadrilles in one hand and her knapsack in the other, she walked barefoot along the edge of the Marina de Vilamoura on Portugal’s Algarve coast, breathing in the heady scent of this place where inland its history could be seen in every gnarled brick, every inch of cobbled floor and on every fresco of a saint that adorned the walls.
Here, restaurants aplenty, all with outside seating, were starting to fill up for those looking for a late lunch, and the hum of conversation and the smell of food was strangely welcoming.
It took her back to that one night when she was seventeen, and rather than sit indoors and watch her sister’s face turn grey, she had gone out on her own. Her sister might not have been smart when it came to ancient ham sandwiches, but the words she’d spoken to Holly played in Enya’s thoughts.
‘You get burned but you emerge from the ashes stronger than you ever thought possible... and when you do, you will not only have found strength, but power too. A woman who has gone through this is metamorphosed and the version of her who comes after takes no shit. She knows herself and she will never be beholden to anyone, she will never again put responsibility for her own happiness in the pocket of another. She is self-reliant and knowing.’
How she loved this thought, a woman who was metamorphosed, as without her training wheels she ventured forth.
The sound of a guitar being played beautifully filled the air.
She was alert, energised and alive, in the way it felt when you were about to test yourself but come out the other side with a feeling of having achieved something.
Like standing on a ledge with the sparkling water below, knowing the swim will be worth finding the courage to jump.
You would have loved this... She spoke to Jonathan in her mind.
Looking up, she took in the big, big sky, feeling free, free, and happy. Her pace was measured as she strolled along the marina, taking in the tall masts of the ships, the varied ensigns fluttering in the breeze and the sound of the water lapping at the dock.
It was as if she sensed his presence before she saw him, standing at the back of his beautiful wooden boat, concentrating on coiling a rope and laying it flat on the aft deck. She looked at the bigger, more modern yachts between which he was moored.
‘Excuse me,’ she called, ‘but I was just wondering, are you going to be able to manoeuvre out of this spot? It’s just that I seem to remember you’re not too good at judging distances, especially when trying to move into or out of a parking space, a one-second lapse in concentration and bam! Who knows what might happen?’
Enya felt the breath catch in her throat as he whipped his head around and stared at her.
‘Enya...’ he breathed, and there it was, that pull of desire deep in her gut.
Calmly, he put the rope he was coiling on to the deck and walked towards her.
‘Permission to come aboard?’ She lifted her shoes in her hand and took a step closer.
Reaching out, he grabbed the knapsack and took her hand, holding it tightly inside his before lifting it to his lips and gently kissing the back of her fingers; the touch of his lips lit a fuse that sparked along her limbs and set fireworks off in the base of her stomach.
He helped her climb down on to Foula Girl and stared at her, as if hardly daring to believe that she was real. She inhaled the scent of the man who was familiar and yet still a stranger in so many ways.
‘Here you are!’ he whispered, as if, deep down, he had been expecting her.
‘Here I am.’
His tan was deep, hair longer, his smile and easy manner just the same. Her heart danced, as it had a habit of doing when he was close.
‘How... how did you know where I was?’
‘Well, I might have been given access to a map with your whereabouts and plans on it.’
‘Iris?’ he asked, eyes brimming with emotion.
‘Yes.’ She smiled. ‘Iris. Although Aiden helped me plot and suggested this was as good a place as any.’
‘Our kids are having a baby!’ he sniffed.
‘Isn’t it wonderful?’ She laughed, and fell against him, gripping his linen shirt and closing her eyes as he put his arm around her, letting her rest for a while...
‘I can’t believe you’re here.’ He pulled her towards him, holding her close. ‘You told me that when Jonathan died you sat very still for some time, and that it seemed like the best option to just sit and wait until the world stopped spinning.’
‘That’s right.’ She nodded, staring at the beautiful man in front of her.
‘You told me that for you, the sun had disappeared, the birds had gone quiet, the air had grown cool, and the sky had gone dark.’
‘Yes,’ she whispered. It sounded bleak, and so very sad, a reminder of how far she had come, how she now viewed the world differently.
‘Well, this is where our next adventure begins. We will seek out the sun, listen for the birdsong and bask in the warmth, the light. That’s what we will do, Enya.
That’s how we’ll live, and we can do it safe in the knowledge that all the people we love and all the good things in our lives are still there, waiting for us. ’
‘I don’t doubt it.’ She breathed against him. ‘I’ve been thinking a lot about what Rhona said, that when two people are shown a path that leads directly to happiness, they kind of have a duty to walk it. And that if they don’t, it just might be the biggest missed opportunity of their lives.’
‘She’s right.’ He ran his finger over her cheek.
‘I don’t want to miss the opportunity, Dominic, I want to walk that path,’ she whispered.
‘I think I knew we’d find a way back to each other when the time was right, I knew it.
’ She stared at him now, speaking the truth without reservation or concern, understanding that love, when it came, didn’t need approval or permission, it just arrived, and all you could do was make space for it.
For there was no doubt in her mind that this was indeed love.
‘I knew it too. I told you I’d wait for you. I’ve been looking for you, always looking for you. I could feel it here.’ He touched his fingers to his heart, and she felt her whole body yield with longing.
‘I like being with you.’ She stared up at him.
‘Well, that’s lucky. What’s the plan?’ he asked.
Enya shrugged. ‘I guess we take it one day at a time, right?’
‘I guess we do.’ He smiled at her.
‘I used to think about you before I fell asleep and then when I woke up. I always wondered what you were doing and whether you might be thinking about me,’ she confessed, feeling her words spiral up into the big blue sky.
‘Yes, Enya. The answer is yes. I was, I was thinking about you, dreaming of you. I only wanted to sail away with you. I do, I want so badly to sail away with you, and every time I look up, I want to see you. Because even if we lived from now until eternity, it would still not be enough.’
‘Is this real?’ Reaching out, she let her fingers graze his face; his gaze was intense, and she had never felt less invisible in her whole life.
‘It’s real. There is nowhere else you should be.’
‘Okay, Dominic, let’s do this. Let’s jump.’
‘You have no idea how I’ve longed to hear those words!’ He sighed. ‘We’ll figure it out, one day at a time. I want us to find our happy, our ever after. Do you trust me?’
She took in the man who had told her once that you could only win when you gave over to fear, resigned yourself to the very worst thing imaginable, and recognised that it was okay. No matter what happened, it would all be okay in the end.
‘I do.’ Staring at his handsome face, she felt the flames of joy lick her consciousness. He was lovely. Lovely to look at, lovely company, and to interact with him at all was just lovely. ‘I really do.’
With her heart full, she let her eyes sweep the harbourside.
Couples walked arm in arm, families chattered as they sauntered in the afternoon warmth.
Sweet music floated on the air, and the boats, moored uniformly, bobbed on the water where the sun’s diamonds danced on its surface.
Content in the arms of this wonderful man who was giving her a second chance at love, a second chance at life!
It was as she let her eyes sweep the dock that she saw him.
The breath caught in her throat and her legs threatened to give way.
There he was, Jonathan, on the far dock, hands in pockets, smiling, smiling right at her.
His expression one of pure love. He winked at her, and she got the message, he was happy, happy for her.
The two of them as ever in sync, one team.
She gasped, fixing him with her gaze as she raised her hand in a gesture of goodbye, and just like that he vanished.
She felt nothing but grateful for this final glimpse and the feeling of peace that filled her right up.
How thankful she was for all the wonderful years they had spent, the gift of their son and the love that had bound them, would forever bind them.
Narrowing her eyes, she looked to the left and right, but he was gone.
Gone.
No more than a trick of the light...