Chapter 5
Ever
“What the hell is MaskTok?” I asked, shifting my weight from one butt cheek to the other on Katy and Jem’s couch.
“It’s like BookTok, except for masks and shit,” Katy answered matter-of-factly, scrolling through her phone at the other end of the couch.
“Sometimes the two interconnect,” Jem said, sitting between the two of us with her feet propped up on a basket of laundry. “What did you say his mask looked like again?”
“It was all black with red eyes and lines that jutted out from the sides to form kind of abstract features. I’ve never seen anything like it before.
” I scrolled through the first social media app I’d been on in well over two years, creating an account with the most generic username I could think of: JaneDoe1234567891011, complete with a profile picture that was nothing more than an image that read Insert profile picture here.
It was giving Internet troll, but I didn’t care.
Never again would I be able to have a profile under my name or even the name I go by now.
“Yeah, it definitely hasn’t come across MaskTok yet.
But that could also be because I’ve only seen three videos so far for, uh, reasons.
” Katy’s eyes remained glued to her phone.
It was the longest I’d seen her fully engaged in something since meeting her.
“I’ll keep looking, though. Even if it takes all night. And lots of batteries.”
“Thank you for your sacrifice.” I scrolled through the app, permanently screwing up the algorithm of cat videos I’d originally hoped to curate, but after watching videos of ripped masked men edging unsuspecting viewers, I couldn’t say I was upset.
A few likes, reposts, comments, and saves may have also been left by me in the heat of the moment to ensure that videos kept coming long after this goose chase of ours had ended.
“You know, I feel like I’ve seen that mask before. At least, one similar to it.” Jem squinted at the screen of her phone. “I just can’t remember where. The red detailing stands out to me. If he’s posted any videos with it on, he should stand out.”
“Yeah, but what are the odds of that? Wouldn’t you think, if he were going out in public incognito, that he wouldn’t want to post videos of himself that some thirsty women would see?
If he’s one of these thirst trappers, I think he’d much rather go out in public without his mask or choose a completely different mask altogether.
” A shirtless man chopping wood suddenly appeared on my FYP as though the app were cutting me off from masked men cold turkey.
“That’s a possibility,” Jem agreed. “Although just because he’s wearing a mask and is thirst trap-shaped, it doesn’t mean he’s actually on this app. My guess is the mask is something unique to him. Maybe he makes them or uses them for something else.”
“Like maybe he’s in a band?” Katy held up her phone to show Jem and me a video of a band, featuring nothing but masked musicians.
My eyes jumped from one masked face to the other, my excitement diminishing with each one that didn’t match the one on the man who had been haunting me since I’d moved to this town.
“Oh! They’re playing at Some Dive Bar tonight. We should go.”
“You know how I feel about going out in public,” I said, feeling the knot in my stomach that formed pretty much anytime I left my house begin to tighten.
“Come on, Ever. If Jem and I are there with you, what could happen? Besides, you told me yourself you wanted to start going out more.”
“What I said was I thought I could mildly tolerate going to Whole Foods on a Monday evening.”
“Is that not going out?”
“It does look like it could be a good time,” Jem said, her eyes shining with excitement. “Who knows, maybe your masked Romeo will make an appearance.”
“Yes!” Katy exclaimed, pointing a finger at Jem. “Exactly. You can’t wait around for your stalker to come find you. You’re going to have to find him.”
“So, I have to become the stalker?”
“Right!” Katy’s hands struck the couch. The aggressive tone of her voice mimicked Ariana Grande’s in the song ‘Popular’ from Wicked. “Be the stalker, Ever. Turn the tables on that gorgeous, unhinged son of a bitch by beating him at his own game.”
I sighed. On the one hand, they had a point. To my masked stalker, I was nothing more than a sitting duck. But if he knew I was actively trying to find him—
What? What would he do? Would I frighten him off? Would he quit? Did I really want him to quit? Yes, Ever, you shouldn’t want to have someone stalking you.
I glanced up from my phone to both Katy and Jem staring at me expectantly like children waiting for their mother’s approval to attend a sleepover.
“Fine.” I caved. “Let’s go.”
Katy’s eyes widened. “Really? Oh my God, Ever. This is huge. I’m so proud of you.” She lunged over Jem and threw her arms around me. “To the Corolla!” She exclaimed, pointing her finger at the door.
Jem looked up from her phone. “The concert doesn’t start for another three hours.”
“Then to the Corolla in two hours, fifteen minutes from now.”
We walked inside Some Dive Bar, paying the cover to see Masked and Muscled in what promised to be a night of musical genius.
From the moment we stepped through the door into the bar with its distressed brick walls and exposed ductwork in the ceiling painted a trendy midnight shade of black, my eyes scoured the unexpectedly impressive crowd, looking for the masked face that had become etched in my brain.
Perhaps coming as somewhat of a surprise, the amount of fans actually wearing masks was reduced to a handful wearing replicas of those worn by the band’s members.
“You want a drink, Ever?” Jem asked, spotting the actual bar through another doorway, separating itself from the stage.
Did I feel as though I needed a drink? Absofuckinglutely.
Was I going to get a drink to calm my ass down?
Absofuckinglutely not. I may be making strides with the whole showing my face in public again, but I wasn’t to the point where I felt safe getting drunk or even mildly buzzed in a room full of strangers, the majority of which were men I would go out of my way to avoid if I were to encounter them in the woods. “I’m good,” I answered her.
“Let’s move closer to the middle.” Katy grabbed my arm, pulling me with her whether I actually wanted to go or not. Nervous, my eyes searched the crowd of people, looking for the face that intruded in my dreams, twisting them into a horror movie that would disturb even Wes Craven.
“Say hi, Ever,” Katy said, bringing her arm around my shoulder and pulling me to her side. I looked up, spotting the phone in her hand, which she was holding out just enough to fit us both in the screen, while she was live-streaming.
“Shit.” I rushed to hide my face with my arms, pulling myself from Katy’s grasp.
“Oh, God, Ever. I’m so sorry.” Katy ended the livestream and tucked her phone in her pocket. “I should have asked you first. It’s just, I’d assumed since you were going out and back online now that you wouldn’t care.”
My heart thundered inside my chest as though it wielded a battering ram and was trying to make its way out in a Sigourney Weaver in Aliens kind of way.
Dizzy, I bent over, resting my hands on my knees as I took in a deep breath, letting it out after mentally counting to three.
Some days, I felt like I could boss-babe the shit out of the world again.
Other days, the simple sight of a social media video could force me to run home and hide under the covers for days on end.
“Whoa. Ever, are you okay?” Jem asked, returning with a rum and Coke for herself and Katy. “What happened?”
“I’m a fuck up. That’s what happened.” Katy leaned down to stroke my hair.
Jem snorted. “No, shit. I meant, what happened with Ever?”
I couldn’t be certain, but I was fairly sure Katy flipped her off when one of her hands left my head for a couple of seconds. “Let’s go,” she said quietly near my ear. “Really. We can leave.”
“No.” I exhaled another breath as the world around me quit spinning, “I’ll be okay. I have to do this. If I don’t, it’ll be years before I go back out again. He can’t control me anymore.”
Katy smiled, her blue eyes popping next to the fire engine shade of red she’d recently dyed her hair. “That’s my girl. I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks, Mom,” I joked, standing up straight again as my heart rate subsided.
“Now, now, if I were your mother, I would have told you to at least get the first name of the guy you let stick a part of his body inside of you. It’s only customary, after all. Now, because you didn’t, the three of us are going to develop mild addictions to softcore masked men porn.”
“I’m okay with that.” Jem grinned, raising her drink to her lips.
“Oh, absolutely. It may just ruin us for other men, is all.”
The lights dimmed as the stage grew dark and the silhouettes of the members of Masked and Muscled positioned themselves on their respective marks, creating a ripple of anticipation through the crowd who’d cheered when they first saw the black figures taking the stage.
After a pregnant pause, the introductory note of an electric guitar reverberated throughout the room, and it was game on.
Stage lights illuminated the members, casting an ethereal lavender glow on them as the lead singer began their opening song, which everyone in the bar seemed to know but Katy, Jem, and me.
They had a Sleep Token vibe, which I appreciated, and I very well could have been enjoying myself if not for my body being in a constant state of anxiety.