Chapter 38 Paeonia
?PAEONIA
Paeonia stirred from something cold, her nose wrinkling. She pried her eyes open, the sun wafting into her room, dancing over her bed. The perched open window sent a winter breeze over her feverish skin, a welcome reprieve.
She blinked to clear her vision, remembering the events that led her here. The horror of the Eldritch attacking Rowan simmered to the forefront of her mind immediately.
She sprang forward in her bed, and Ren looked over at her.
“How long have I been asleep?” she asked the Stoneborne in a panic.
Ren approached her, resting a hand on her forehead as if she was feeling for her temperature. She knew she couldn’t truly feel the warmth of Paeonia’s skin, but she still did things like this out of instinct. “It’s the afternoon after. You slept through the night in a sweat.”
She swallowed, and Ren handed her a glass of water. After she gulped it down, she spoke again. “Rowan? Castor?”
Ren patted Paeonia’s hand over her duvet. “They’re both just fine.” She grabbed a washcloth, wringing it out and dabbing Paeonia’s forehead. “You need to take it easy. You gave us quite a fright.”
Her heart lurched, wishing she could see Rowan’s face. Even after all the times he had hurt her, she wanted to see him.
“Could you tell Rowan I’d like to see him?” She fell back against her pillow.
Ren smiled, tucking her in. “I don’t have to.”
Paeonia wanted to ask her what she meant by that, but her eyes began to flutter shut.
“Pae,” a deep voice said, shaking her from her dreamless sleep.
The sun still sat high in the sky, so she couldn’t have been asleep for long. She rolled her head on her pillow, and Rowan entered her room. Flower petals laid on her mattress, dusted around her face. Had she done that?
Paeonia scooted backward so she could sit against her headboard. “Rowan,” she said in response.
“How are you feeling?”
She bit her lip as he leaned against the bed’s footboard. “Fine. A little sore, but I’m fine. How are you? Are you hurt?”
His face remained flat. “Fine.” His countenance seemed drained. His hair a ragged mess, like he had been tossing and turning all night. She wondered if he had slept at all since they arrived back. He certainly didn’t look like it.
He stared at her, and Paeonia’s cheeks warmed from more than just the fever. She twiddled her thumbs together.
“Speak your mind.”
She pursed her lips. “If you don’t want to talk to me, you can leave.”
He laughed. “But you want me here.”
She shook her head in annoyance. “What? No, I don’t—”
“You cannot lie to me, Pae. Why do you think I showed up? I can sense when you want me.”
Her heart sank.
“Pae—”
She smiled tentatively, cutting him off. “Is it done, then? Is Findale safe from the Eldritch?”
He avoided her gaze as he pushed his hair back. “No. Findale is still being threatened by the woods.”
She wanted to sob. “But why? You killed him, didn’t you?”
“It’s not that simple. It’s feeding off the humans’ toxicity. The humans’ sheer malice is keeping the woods alive. What was once made to protect them, now betrays them out of their own wrongdoings. They’ve taken too much wood, stolen too many creatures, mistreated the forest for too long.”
She closed her eyes as she processed that. She shoved away her duvet and swung her legs over the mattress. “I have to find my father. I have to go to him.”
Before she could slide off the bed, Rowan was in front of her. His hands gripped her hips, unrelenting, not allowing her to move. “You’re not strong enough.”
She stared at his chest. “It doesn’t matter. I must go.” She hiccupped, her hand wrapping around the metal charm on her neck.
“You’re tethered by blood to me. I can’t let you leave.”
She began to cry. She buried her face into her hands. She didn’t care if Rowan thought less of her for how often she cried. She was broken.
“You cry because of the bond?” he asked her, his hands still resting on her hips.
She shook her head, her brows furrowed. “I don’t know.” She wiped her face. “It’s unfair. I…” Embarrassment stung her.
Rowan rubbed his lips together before he straightened and leaned against the wall. “Yes. This life is unfair. It’s unfair that I trapped you here. It’s unfair that Castor turned to stone. It’s unfair that I slaughtered my father yesterday. It’s unfair what I did to my brother.” He looked away.
She sucked in a breath. “That was your father?”
He sighed and nodded.
“Your father was…was a…creature?”
Rowan paused for a brief moment, then burst out laughing. The sound was so foreign to her ears, and she wanted to hear it again.
“You think this is why I am the way I am, don’t you? It’s all making sense in that head of yours, my father being an evil stag.” He chuckled again, and Paeonia’s face went hot.
“But you just said—”
“You saw him as a stag, yes. But I could see him how he truly was. He was a transformed Grim Fae, and my fae eyes can see past that. But yours, cannot.”
Her gears turned.
“You’re Gleam Fae. Not Grim."
“But then, how—?”
He shook his head and glanced out the window.
“My father made an enemy of the Gleam Fae, back when they were still around. And they cursed him.” He chuckled, but she could hear the pain.
“Made him the new guardian of the forest as punishment. It was shortly after that that they were killed off. And my father, well, he became the guardian, just as the Gleams intended. But the humans, they grew toxic. Polluted the forest. Corrupted my father. He slowly slid to evil.”
“I’m so sorry,” she said softly.
“His bargain with the Gleam fae is what forced him into the guardianship. He’s the cause of the forsaken—his dying woods.” Rowan pinched his brow. “We cannot cure the forsaken, I now realize, unless we repair the forest.”
“How do we do that?”
“Later. You need to rest.”
She frowned. “And Castor? Is he truly okay?”
“No stone was shattered.” Rowan smirked before he turned to leave.
“Wait,” she called softly. He paused at the threshold, his back to her. “Have you slept at all?”
His back tensed. “Not really, no.”
She picked at her nail, her lips parting as she tried to think of what to say, how to voice her desires. “I want you to rest, too.”
It was hard to tell, but she could have sworn his shoulders relaxed slightly at her concern.
“Can you stay with me? Just for a little.”
She slid back into her blankets as Rowan hovered by the door. A few awkward beats passed until he turned and came to her, almost like he couldn’t fight his need to be close. She scooted to make room as he sat on the edge of her mattress. She held her breath, the air in the room fragile.
Rowan slid his boots off before looking at her. She tilted her lips, and he gently pushed her hair out of her face. She mirrored him as he laid beside her, staring at the canopy above. His body was warm along her side, and she almost smiled.
After several moments, she turned away from him, her eyes fluttering, ready to fall back asleep, her body still sore.
Rowan shifted the mattress as he wrapped his arms around her, tugging her into his chest. She let out a silent gasp as he pulled her tight against him.
One of his hands found hers, clutching it.
Tiny flowers began to sprout around where he held her, appearing out of thin air.
“How—?”
“You’re settling into your abilities,” he said in her ear, his voice low, as if he too was exhausted.
She sank more into him, letting him engulf her, hearing his breathing, allowing him to warm her, to shroud her thoughts. He clung to her hand, twiddling gently with her fingers. And she finally fell back asleep.