14. Fourteen
With a blanket wrapped around my shoulders and coffee in hand, I crack the door open, eyes lifting sleepily to the horizon.
I stop, stunned. My coffee stills midair before even making it to my mouth.
Last night, we arrived in Sedona so late all we could see was darkness. Now, the morning light effortlessly reveals the hidden magic.
Red rocks shoot up across the horizon, rugged and beautiful. The fire-filled sunrise bathes everything in oranges, reds, and pinks, magnifying the colors already there.
Living on the Florida coast my whole life, I’ve become accustomed to the easy kind of beauty that saltwater and palm trees create. It’s a straightforward escape that offers a sort of peace by just existing. But this? This is different. It’s not a beauty that offers an escape—it strips the soul bare before shattering it apart and stitching it back together differently. It’s all encompassing. A place you go to feel something.
Our site is on the slope of a mountain overlooking Sedona, which sits like a city in a terracotta bowl.
Straight across from me, where the valley makes way to the sharp cliffs, the red rocks lift out of the dirt as if willed to do so by the sun itself.
Growing up going to church, I was taught that nothing is more holy than those four walls on Sundays, but standing here feels like more of a religious sacrament than anything I’ve ever been privy to. Like the holiest hymn is being sung, and the most reverent prayer is being recited.
At the edge of our site is a large rock that overlooks it all and I wander over to it and sit, not taking my eyes off the scene around me.
“Mom?” Marin calls as she opens the door and rubs her eyes sleepily.
“Over here,” I say over my shoulder.
“Whoa,” she whispers as she sits on the rock next to me. “This is what we were missing in the dark? This is so cool.”
Her eyes dance around the bowl of Sedona as she wraps part of my blanket around her shoulders.
“Amazing, right?”
Finn joins us, cup of coffee in hand. “Your coffee skills haven’t improved,” he says blandly before blowing on the steam.
“It’s not that bad,” I argue, trying to hide the way my face wants to twist as I take another sip.
“Liar.” He tilts his head toward the view I’ve already started to memorize. “This is pretty sweet though.”
I nod.
We sit there in silence as the sun lifts higher in the sky and reveals new details with every ray of light. An old friend whispering new secrets.
Eventually, our bad coffee goes cold, and the cool air turns hot. We spend the day hiking through the vibrant red rocks and then wandering the busy streets of Sedona.
Travis may have been the one who circled this spot on a map, but it’s Marin who’s obsessed with every mystical piece of it.
“Here,” she says, dropping a bright blue stone in Finn’s hands after dragging us into a New Age crystal shop.
He huffs. “What’s this supposed to be?”
“Lapiz. For enlightenment.” She says it like he’s supposed to understand that.
His eyes narrow.
“So, you can finally see what a dirty hooker Abby was.”
I have to bite my cheek to keep from laughing.
“Mom, this one’s for you.”
She holds up a black stone with an orange line through it.
“Do I even want to know?” I ask as she drops it in my hand.
“Tiger’s eye. It will help with…” She waves her hand up and down my body. “Courage.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I don’t even attempt to hide my offense.
She folds her arms over her chest as she narrows her eyes. “Don’t be so sensitive, Penelope. You have stuck energy, and fear is a big part of that.”
I scoff. “I’m not scared.”
She shrugs. “You are. Scared of changing, scared of living life without Dad.” Her eyes drop to my black shirt. “Of color.”
Somehow, I’m both shocked and in agreement with what she says, but unless her rock can raise bodies from a watery grave, an argument over it is futile.
I press my lips between my teeth as I glare at her. She’s wearing a long skirt and a cropped tank top with a purple scarf tied in her hair and dangling beaded earrings. She fits into the aisles of rocks and dream catchers so perfectly it’s almost scary.
I sigh and shove my wallet at her. “I’m waiting with Finn outside.”
Since Marfa, Finn has stayed quiet, but his phone being in a dozen pieces has been an unexpected gift. Even if he doesn’t want to talk to me, at least he can’t hide behind a screen.
“You okay?” I ask, stepping beside him on the sidewalk.
“Other than the fact my sister thinks rocks are the answer to life’s problems? Just dandy.”
He shakes his head with a sigh as he scrubs the toe of his shoe against the ground.
I laugh under my breath. “She told me my rock will give me courage. For $9.95, maybe she just saved me a lot of money.”
His laugh is weak. “Maybe.”
For all the fighting Finn and I have done, I realize we aren’t so different at that moment. Both of us working to come to terms with the fact we have to forge ahead in a life that looks vastly different from the one we hoped for.
A billboard sign above us catches my eye at the same time Marin pushes the door of the store open and holds up the bag proudly. “Rocks for what ails you.”
I ignore her, not listening to what her and Finn start talking about.
Fear and excitement buzz through me as I make a decision without thinking. “Guys?”
They stop talking and look at me.
“Let’s watch the sunset from there tonight.”
I point to the sign; their eyes follow then widen.
Finn shakes his head with a disbelieving laugh. “Are you kidding? That’s everything you hate, Mom. You’ll have a heart attack.”
I smile. There’s a very good chance he’s right. “Well, that will make a good story, won’t it?”
I don’t let them respond before I punch the number in my phone with shaky hands.
Three hours later, with the roar of a flame and a jolt from the ground, we drift into the sky above the red rocks of Sedona by way of a rainbow-colored hot air balloon.
Marin takes an obscene number of pictures, Finn stares out quietly at the wild earth below us, and I smile through tears that feel like streams of triumph.
“I didn’t think you had it in you.”
Finn’s lips lift into a smile as he bumps his shoulder against mine.
I’m still terrified, but I lean into him.
“And you two thought those rocks were a scam,” Marin says, flicking a knowing look at me before pulling us together for a picture.
In it, Marin’s smile is wide, Finn’s expression is amused, and I’m mid-laugh with my mouth hanging open as tears drip down my face—my eyes on them.
It’s my new favorite picture.
***
The next morning, cup of coffee in hand, I open the email waiting from Ethan.
Penelope,
My bartender did not know the classic daiquiri, but he learned it, made it, and you were right—it’s good. Oddly, I’m not surprised.
My favorite meal to make for people is cheeseburgers. Shocked? I know it’s simple, much like your daiquiri, but there’s so much potential to elevate it. Now, yours won’t be nearly as good as mine for the obvious reason of your subpar non-Maine ingredients, but here’s what you do: buy a good quality ground sirloin (imperative), and then into the raw meat add minced garlic (not too much), sun-dried tomatoes (only about a tablespoon, chopped finely) and honey mustard (just a little), and salt (to taste—right before you put them on the grill). When you’re cooking, ONLY FLIP ONCE! Why do people get so flip-happy with burgers? I never understand it.
Also, this is a test. Ruin this burger, and I’m done.
Ethan
On the way out of town after breakfast, we stop at a grocery store and get all the ingredients to make burgers for dinner.