Chapter 9
Raincheck
With chefs on-site, it wasn’t often my parents broke out the barbecue. But when they did? It was a not-to-be-missed event.
Labour Day was one of those annual events.
It marked both an ending and a beginning.
It had been a long time since I’d been a student, but Labour Day weekend still marked the bittersweet end of summer and the fresh start of a new school year with the smell of crisp, unsullied paper, HB pencils sharpened to a pristine point, and musty old textbooks.
It also marked the week we lost Hunter.
Hunter’s birthday was different. That, I celebrated. Every year I insisted we remember his life and what he meant to all of us.
But his death-day, I spent alone.
I’d never been comfortable sharing my feelings. I took after my dad in that way, hiding my heart behind jokes and smiles.
But not on that day. On that day my defenses crumbled under the weight of my grief. There was no hiding it. Not even from myself.
Mom never worked on that day.
Hawkley disappeared off the face of the earth.
Dad stayed in his workshop. The resort could burn to the ground, and he wouldn’t budge.
And me?
I walked the beach and climbed the bluffs, running as far away from civilization as I could, needing to be alone at the time he died. As alone as he was. Only once darkness fell did I return home. No matter the weather.
In fact, I preferred the years it rained like a bitch the entire day.
The years where the sun shone brightly, when the earth preened with one of those September days that lured everyone back to the beach for one final swim? Those were the worst. Because Hunter was the one who would have dragged all of us out there.
Every other day of the year, I played my game, imagining Hunter was always just around the corner. But on that day, unable to pretend, he was never further away.
As August gave way to September, that date hovered over me like a specter.
This year was no different.
The day before the barbecue, the pressure cooker of grief and guilt mounting, I walked the beach for hours to clear my head. Only then could I deal with everyone and everything else in my life.
Returning home Sunday night, utterly exhausted from the fresh air, I fell into a blessedly dreamless sleep.
When I woke, I was able to put my grief aside.
I arrived early with three quarts of gourmet ice cream from Mary Lou’s in a bag and my grandma’s famous potato salad tucked under my arm in a large bowl. This one event, we all brought something.
I laughed when Hawkley showed up with his usual offering, a bag of fresh bread from Beach Buns, while Noelle brought a cake from Cake Me Away.
I squealed. “Andrea made you a cake? She told me she couldn’t fit me in at such short notice!”
Noelle laughed. “That’s because she knew I had you covered.”
My mom came up beside us, tipping her chin up to kiss Noelle’s cheek. “Hello, lamb. How are you?”
Noelle smiled down at my mom. “Hi, Lou. I’m…great, actually.”
The relationship Noelle shared with my mom served as a perpetually bittersweet reminder. When we lost Christine, I lost my confidante. But Noelle lost her mother. Seeing her with mine never failed to remind me of what I, too, would one day lose.
I could not imagine that.
“Where’s the baby?” Mom asked with bright eyes.
“Aha,” Noelle teased, “the real reason you came over.” Jerking her chin in my dad’s direction, she said, “Dan stole him from Hawk as soon as we got here.”
“Well,” Mom grinned, backing away theatrically. “I’ll just leave you two girls to chat while I go check on Dan and the baby.”
“I see where you get your drama from,” Noelle teased.
“Me?” I pressed the tips of my fingers to my chest. “Not an ounce of drama in this body.”
Noelle rolled her eyes. “Are you kidding me? Even without your attitude, this body is full-on drama.” She appraised me. “Especially today. You look like a 1950s pin-up girl only a whole helluva lot sexier. Friggity-frack, Harley,” she breathed. “Look at your waist and your butt!”
“Well, Noelle,” I answered drily. “That butt exists because of these chunky legs.”
Noelle’s brows lowered. “Don’t do that.”
“What?” I replied innocently, instantly regretting words bound to elicit a protest from Noelle’s soft heart.
“Don’t act smaller than you are.”
“Uh,” I laughed, “that would be difficult.”
She scowled. “You know what I mean. Don’t cut yourself down. You’re the sexiest woman I know.”
I scowled in disbelief. “I’ll accept your bullshit only on account of the cake you’re holding in your hands. Let’s go put it in the fridge and get you something unfun and non-alcoholic to drink.”
She snorted and followed me down the hall. We headed to the kitchen and the industrial sized refrigerators to preserve Andrea’s beautiful cake.
I opened the box. “She outdid herself.”
Noelle smiled. “She always does.”
“Look at that icing to cake ratio,” I exclaimed. “Sheer perfection!”
She reached for the lid. “Harley, don’t you dare!”
I laughed and ripped the lid clean off. “No one will even notice,” I complained, grabbing a spoon from the drawer and scraping a bit of icing from the bottom and shoving it in my mouth. I closed my eyes and sighed. “Mm, so good.”
Noelle snatched the box from me and tucked it safely into the fridge. “What’s going on with Daire?”
I spun around and the spoon flew out of my hand. I quickly retrieved it and tossed it into the sink. “What?”
“So, it’s like that,” she mused.
I shook my head. “It’s not like anything.”
“Max said he sensed some serious heat between the two of you at The Beaver Dam.”
I brushed her off. “The man is an incorrigible flirt, that’s all.”
She got a faraway look in her eyes then looked back at me. “Harley, I don’t think he is. If he’s showing an interest in you, I’m pretty sure he’s genuine.”
I sighed. “Noelle, I appreciate what you’re doing, but it’s not necessary.”
She squinted at me. “What exactly am I doing?”
“Trying to make me feel better after the Paul debacle.”
Her eyebrows flew up in surprise. “The thought didn’t even enter my mind. Harley, listen…” she petered off.
I waited expectantly. When she didn’t continue, I prodded her, “What?”
She shook her head. “If a man like that tells you he’s interested in you, you can believe it. I don’t think he’s the type to fart about.”
I grinned. “Fart about? You need to bring your lingo into this century. I think what you meant to say was ‘fuck around’. Say it with me,” I joked as we left the kitchen. “Fuck around.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m going to cuddle up to your brother now that Dan and Lou have Hunter.”
“Ew, please. It’s too soon to talk about you with my brother.”
She smiled smugly. “It never fails to shut you up.”
I opened my mouth, but she threw up her palm. “I can go into detail if you need me to…”
I backed away quickly. “Nope, nope, and nope. I’ll talk to you later!”
She laughed as she walked away.
It was good to have her home again. And married to my brother with a baby? That was the stuff weaved into my most secret of dreams.
This time, expecting Daire, I made sure to put an extra chair at the table. Hunter deserved his place at our table.
One I could see, not just an imaginary one in my heart.
But when it came time to eat, my mom scanned the table with a look of confusion on her face. “Dan, we’ve got one chair too many. Can you move it.”
My head whipped up and my eyes met Daire’s.
I turned away quickly. It was foolish to insist on that chair. It was easy when our number was seven. No one ever removed the eighth chair just because it wasn’t filled. But adding an extra chair? That was weird. I wanted it, but unless I wanted to draw undue attention, I would have to suck it up.
“I, uh, actually invited a friend to come. I’m not sure if they’ll be able to stop by or not, but can we keep the extra chair out just in case? I apologize if I’ve overstepped, but Hawk told me to feel free to bring someone.”
They? They he? Or they she? Was it a date?
I gave myself a vicious mental shake, my emotions already swirling. He’s not for you.
As if drawn by a magnet, I stole another glance.
He was still looking at me.
Did he do that for me?
He offered me a small nod.
My eyes watered. I looked away and breathed in, slowly and deeply.
“Maybe I was wrong about him,” Noelle murmured from behind me.
I don’t think you were.
Pulling myself together, I smiled and changed the subject.
All through dinner, my mind worked, divided between the laughter and conversation around the table and the man seated across from me.
He understood too much.
Worse than Max and ten times as dangerous.
Being with him wouldn’t mean dropping my armor. I’d be shedding my skin, with no hope of protecting myself if he left.
After our food babies digested, and before bringing out the cake, Mom and Dad took Hunter to give Noelle and Hawkley a break.
“Lap pool?” Max challenged. “You think you can take me, Harley?”
I scoffed, “Please.”
He laughed and slung his arm around my shoulders as we walked. “You’re on.”
In the change room, Noelle studied her reflection in the mirror. With Hunter’s birth, Noelle’s hips had filled out and her tummy had softened.
She cupped her breasts and grinned. “Look at the size of these babies!”
“Now, that’s what you call jugs, babe,” I agreed.
“They better not dare sag,” she muttered.
I spared myself a single glance in the mirror. It never boded well to examine myself too closely in a swimsuit. Especially not next to Noelle.
Happy enough with my new suit, I lifted my chin and walked out on deck, pointedly ignoring Daire. I didn’t want to know what he thought of me. Didn’t want to see his reaction to my body exposed and on display.
Max stood at the side of the pool, going through a series of stretches for his arms.
Daire laughed. “You can’t be serious. She’s a little bitty thing and you’re what? 6’3”?”
“She’s a bullet, man. You wait and see.”
I took Max tidily, barely beat Hawk, and practically lapped Noelle.
Pulling myself out of the pool for a breather, I retrieved my towel from the bench and dried my face.
I jolted as the deep voice that appeared more and more often in my dreams teased, “You’re pretty fast for a girl.”
“For a girl?” I turned and cocked my eyebrow, taking great pains not to indulge in a visual journey over his beautiful chest.
He stared down at me, a slow, lazy smile creasing his face. “I love it when your freckles come out to play.”
I scoffed and began to dry off.
“You’re done? Scared to take me on?”
I swallowed.
More than you know.
“I’m not scared of anything, Daire.”
“Then this shouldn’t be a problem.” He stepped closer. “I’ll even give you a head start, but you’ll have to give me something in return.”
“No way!” I laughed. “You’re far too cocky.”
He opened his arms and looked down pointedly at the front of his swim trunks before winking at me. “Easy with the sex talk, we’re in public. Although,” his lips quirked, “under the right circumstances…”
Shaking my head, I backed away. “Get in the pool, Professor. I’m not racing you after I’ve already beaten those three. Hit the chlorine and give me five hard laps.”
Stalking toward me, he dipped his knees to bring his face to mine. “First of all, I prefer ‘Sir’. Coming from you it has a certain ring to it, but I won’t insist on it.”
My mouth fell open.
He touched my cheek.
I blinked at the contact.
He continued, “Tell you what. I’ll give you ten hard laps. Then, when I beat you, you owe me a date. A proper one. Without Max there to chaperone.”
I stepped back, but his arm shot out and grasped my elbow, halting my retreat. “Don’t be scared of me. I’m biologically incapable of hurting you.”
I scoffed. “How’s that, Daire? You’re a walking heartache. And I’d do all the heavy lifting for you. You need to leave me alone. I can’t handle you. And you can’t fix me.”
His hold softened to a caress that sent goosebumps racing up my arm, skittering across my chest, and tightening my nipples.
Stroking the soft skin on the inside of my elbow, he continued softly.
“There’s nothing to fix.” His eyes serious, his teasing smile absent, he continued, “I’ll take lunch. Coffee. Anything.”
Gently extricating my arm, I backed away. “I can’t.”
“Won’t,” he corrected.
I nodded. “Won’t.”
“What’s the hold-up, Daire? Are you chicken?” Max mocked. “Surely you’re not scared to be beaten by a little bitty thing like her!”
Hawk stood watching with his hands on his hips, his mouth tight.
Noelle faced him with her hand braced on his chest.
Oh, fuck, please, Hawkley. Don’t pull the big brother act right now.
Daire grinned at Max then turned back to me, his face completely serious. “I’m ready for you, Harley.”
Turning he dove cleanly into the pool and banged out ten laps.
His words tumbled around in my brain as I watched his long body slice through the water like a blade, the lean muscles of his back flexing, the strength in his arms the motor driving him onward.
When he finished, flushed with exertion, he treaded water at the edge. “Come on, little spitfire. I’ll start from here and you can dive in. I just put ten laps in, and I’ll still give you a head start.”
He was already sitting on the side of the pool when I pulled myself out, a wary eye on him.
Smiling easily, he whispered for my ears alone, “Raincheck.”