Chapter 15 #2
I have never considered a student like this, but the naughty professor fantasy is popular for a reason, isn’t it?
It’s wrong and there’s a power imbalance and so fucking hot I’m sweating just thinking about it.
I’ve dominated other people in far kinkier, far more licentious ways, but for some God-forsaken reason, none of those situations compare to the irritating sexual tension between myself and this stupid fucking boy.
A wiser version of me would contact one of my trusted subs to fuck away these ridiculous feelings for my too-young-for-me former student.
But I don’t want to. I have no urge. Unfortunately, all my urges are flowing toward this jock with a too-wide smile and a soft spot for animals and the ability to make my daughters happy.
It doesn’t make sense, but I’m learning nothing about Jonah does.
He’s blissfully ignorant and totally delusional about me.
He doesn’t know what being with me means, and despite that. .. I want him.
It wouldn’t last. It couldn’t. He’s too involved in my life, and he’s only my neighbor.
For Christ’s sake, he gave me a gated garden and played guitar for my girls.
If I gave in, how could I keep him at bay?
It’s getting harder every day with him. How could I protect myself and my daughters’ hearts from inevitable destruction?
Because I don’t have it in me to do this again.
A life with someone; partnership, marriage.
Kill me.
But there’s a thrilling patter in my heart and an insatiable desire to watch him submit that makes me look for any detour in my ironclad life plan. Maybe I could scratch this itch differently. Domination feels good in many forms. Maybe this doesn’t need to be sexual at all.
Once the idea takes root, I take a deep breath and plunge into uncharted waters.
“Jonah, you should better understand your property and what grows on it. Especially with all your animals roaming around. If they ate anything, you should know what’s safe and what’s not.”
He furrows his brow. “I guess you’re right. Yeah, I could do that.”
“You will do that.”
He looks surprised at my blatant command, but it morphs into a tiny, wicked smile. “Would you like me to report my findings, Professor Wilde?”
His brazen reply throws the thrilling little patter in my heart into overdrive. Heat curls around my core and seeps into my blood. “I would.”
“Will you grade me?” he asks.
“Would you like that?”
“Oh,” he drawls, with a salacious gleam in his eyes. “I would very much like that.”
“And you think you deserve all that attention from me?”
“No. But I want it. Any of it.”
“And what would you do if you had my full attention?”
For a long moment, he studies my face before his focus drags down my body and lands on my hiking shoes. Then, right there in the grass, he lowers himself to one knee and begins fixing a shoelace that’s come undone.
“You can have your way with me, Professor. You can tell me what to do, what to say. I’d like to know how to please you.”
Like a live wire, I’m buzzing with the intense desire to show him exactly that—to teach him. But my reply dies upon my tongue when this kneeling, pretty boy wraps his large hand at the base of my calf and glides his fingertips across my skin.
All at once, everything resets when I hear the high-pitched squeal of my oldest. “Mom, look!”
I step back as if he just tried branding me, and do my best to collect myself.
“We made necklaces for the dogs,” Delta cheers.
Sure enough, a daisy chain is dangling from the neck of each Great Pyrenees. It’s literally one of the most adorable things I have ever seen, but I struggle to appreciate it while catching my breath from Jonah’s last remark.
Lo tugs at my arm, so I bend down and she places a daisy in my hair. “Thank you, sweetie. I love it.”
“We got one for you too, Jonah.”
Lo nods and prances over to him. He’s still kneeling on the ground, so she takes no time to tuck the flower above his ear, nestled against a bed of sunshine hair.
“Cool,” he grins. “Does this make me part of your club now?”
“No,” Delta replies on Lo’s behalf. “Our club is only for redheads.”
“Dang.”
I can’t do this with him. I’m now incredibly grateful for the girls’ interruption because I took this—whatever this was—way too far.
What was I thinking? I obviously wasn’t, at least not clearly or level-headedly.
I don’t do this kind of thing, not outside the play parties where rules and structure reign supreme.
Where I can enter and satiate my domination craving before returning to real life.
What I’m doing with Jonah is dangerous. Against my best efforts, he’s woven into life.
I can’t open the door to my body for him—again.
Well before Greg died, I told myself I’d never let in another man. Not into my house and never into my heart. No one will manipulate me like that again. I won’t be someone’s target.
That’s why I keep things separate. My feelings have no place in sex, and sex must be pushed to the outskirts of my life—accessed only by careful planning.
We spent the rest of the cleanup tour in relative silence. By the time we’re done and head for his house, I receive a notification from the electric company that our power has been restored.
Jonah loads our stuff into his Yukon while talking with Delta and asking Lo questions regardless of her silence. He responds to her facial expressions in the same way he responds to Delta’s verbal replies.
There’s a war for balance inside me. I want to shoo him away because I can’t stand the tension we created, and I want to politely thank him for taking us in during the storm.
Eventually, I’m able to shut the door on him. I stand in front of our window AC unit and close my eyes as the cold air heals me.
I was not weak for accepting his help—I did what was right for the safety of my family. Now I need to be more careful with myself.
I finish grading the online assignments from yesterday and pour a glass of pinot grigio before dinner prep. Before I can take a sip, a text message comes in.
Jonah: Kingdom: Plantae. Order: Asterales.
Family: Asteraceae. Genus: Bellis (please pretend this word is in italics bc I can’t figure out how to do that in text).
Species: B. perennis (also in italics). It’s native to Europe, and even though it’s technically invasive to America it likes to grow in fields.
Humans and ducks can eat the whole thing but they’re toxic to dogs and horses!
Jonah:
Despite his worry, I can’t stop the bubble of pride that floats from my stomach to my throat. A stupid grin pulls at the corner of my mouth as my thumbs hover over the keyboard.
Renée: Very good.