Every Christmas Eve

Chapter FIFTEEN

Lou

NOW

Four Days to Christmas Eve

‘You guys are the best! The party is a sell-out!’

Cordelia is home, and it’s like someone has switched on the big light above us when she bounds in to see me on Saturday morning not long after I’ve pulled up the shutters at Buds and Beans. Her bobbed, bleached hair is shaggy and still damp from the shower, despite the frost outside, and her glasses fall down her nose as she speaks. She is a breath of fresh air, just like she always was before.

‘It’s so good to see you!’

I tell her, squeezing her tight then standing back to look at her like a proud big sister.

‘Ben wasn’t expecting you home until Monday!’

‘Ah, what can I say, I had FOMO,’

she says, pulling out a stool by the coffee bar.

‘That’s fear of missing out,’

I explain to Mum, who is pretending she isn’t listening but is all ears as usual.

‘Well, I’m so glad you’re here. I’m sure your family are too.’

Cordelia has been keeping a close eye on ticket sales via the QR code link, as well as chatting daily with the post office staff, and with four days to go to the party it’s a great result.

‘I think my entire organs just did a somersault at the thought of it being just around the corner,’

I tell her as I serve her a coffee.

‘One hundred and fifty people, wow. And we’ve already covered all our costs with sponsorship, so hopefully we’ll raise lots of money on the day to top up our total.’

Cordelia fills me in on the plans at her end. Ava, who has proven a dab hand on a design app, has created menus which have already gone to print, while Ben is on a wild goose chase this morning for their mother’s Christmas present, according to his sister.

‘He won’t tell any of us what it is,’

she says.

‘I’ve guessed a thousand things, but he says I’m not even close. Did he tell you?’

‘Why would he tell me?’

I ask her.

‘Because he used to tell you everything,’

she says, her voice animated.

‘I imagine that’s the case again, no matter how much water has gone under the bridge between you two. Are you getting on well? Not that it’s any of my business … but when I mentioned your name to Ben, he seemed a bit coy.’

‘Coy?’ I repeat.

‘Yes, coy,’

she says, laughing.

‘My big brother is a pretty cool, strong and confident guy, but I swear he went a little bit quiet.’

‘He has a lot on his mind,’

I remind Cordelia. She gathers her coffee, keys and hat from the counter, pays for her coffee and bids us farewell for now.

‘I’ve a lot to be getting on with too,’

she says excitedly.

‘I’ll see you later, yeah?’

‘Absolutely,’

I tell her with a smile as I watch her skip out of the shop into Uncle Eric’s car, leaving me to daydream about the evening before, when we’d switched on the festive lights.

It was breathtaking. It was the perfect distraction after our fumble by the stepladder when I thought Ben was going to make a move. Thank goodness Uncle Eric came in when he did.

‘It’s like a castle,’

young Ava said when Uncle Eric had flicked all of the switches, lighting up the gardens and the front of the house.

‘It’s like a real winter wonderland. This is already the best Christmas ever, Dad.’

I watched as she cuddled into her father’s side, his arm around her shoulder. He leaned down and kissed the top of her woolly hat, then we all clapped and cheered before Ben declared a movie night, where everyone would snuggle down to watch Home Alone in front of a blazing fire.

‘Please stay, Lou,’

Ava begged when I said I’d leave them to it.

‘We have salt and sweet popcorn, and Uncle Eric is going to make nachos. You should try them. They’re so good.’

I felt all eyes on me as I contemplated her kind offer, but I didn’t want to overstay my welcome.

‘I’ve a big day tomorrow,’

I said, much to her disappointment.

‘And I believe there’s a very special young lady coming to help us in Buds and Beans in the afternoon?’

Ava brightened up immediately.

‘Yes! Nana Molly said she never breaks a promise, so I’ll be there by lunchtime if that’s OK?’

she replied.

‘She expects it will be busy with everyone wanting flowers at the last minute for their Christmas celebrations. She said I could help with the hot chocolates too.’

Ben nodded along with Ava’s plans, smiling.

‘You do know that Buds and Beans is Lou’s place, not her Nana Molly’s,’

he joked to her.

‘Are you sure Ava won’t get in the way?’

he said to me.

‘Tomorrow will be crazy for you, I’d imagine.’

‘I think an extra pair of hands will come in very handy,’

I replied.

‘That’s very kind of you all. It will be good for Ava too,’

Tilda said.

‘It will be nice for her to be around that strong female energy. I’m sure that you, Liz and Molly will look after her very well.’

Ben walked me to the door while the rest of his family prepared their snacks in the kitchen. Well, apart from Uncle Eric, who was already snoring in his armchair with the dog at his feet. I don’t think the poor man had seen such activity around Ballyheaney House in a very long time.

‘I honestly can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for us already, Lou,’

Ben said as we stood on the doorstep.

‘Even Mum is like a different person. Uncle Eric too.’

I was hoping he wouldn’t mention the moment at the stepladder. My heart raced at the thought of it.

‘I’m enjoying it all,’

I replied.

‘It’s given me a new lease of life too. Hopefully I’ll hear good news from Gracie tomorrow and that will be the icing on the cake.’

Ben tilted his head.

‘And if it isn’t the news you’re hoping for, we’ll all get you through it,’

he said.

‘Every step of the way. I know it won’t be the same, but I’ll have your back. Whatever I can do to make it easier, I will.’

It had been a happy evening, a productive evening, and despite that heart-stopping moment in the hallway by the stepladder, I smiled all the way home, then after a long, hot shower I fell into the most satisfying sleep I’ve had in a very long time.

‘Liz, can you help with some coffees while I tackle a few dishes? They’re piling high.’

Nana says to my mum during a much-predicted mid-morning rush in Buds and Beans.

‘Where is everyone coming from this morning? A lot of strangers too, taking photos of their coffee and the chalkboards. As long as they don’t photograph me this morning! We don’t close until Tuesday, yet it’s like the apocalypse is on its way.’

‘I’m sure our Lou isn’t complaining,’

says Mum, who is stocking up our festive traybake selection.

‘A bit of social media won’t do this place any harm.’

‘And did you see how many bags of shopping that blonde lady had?’

Nana cries.

‘The one who wanted a chai latte? I thought a chai latte was a place in the Far East, for crying out loud.’

‘Nana, can you at least try to be a little bit more discreet?’

I say, laughing, on my way past.

‘Ah, I think I’m going to run out of greenery for the big Ballyheaney House garland, but not to panic. I’ll go foraging for more in the next day or so. And we’re totally out of poinsettias too. This Christmas rush is very welcome, even if we’re finding it hard to catch our breath.’

My feet are aching already, but it’s not bothering me as much as it usually did as I watch the clock tick down to lunchtime. As soon as Ben gets back, he’ll drop Ava off for an hour and hopefully I can show him how my floral centrepiece displays are coming on ahead of Christmas Eve on Wednesday.

‘Lou, I know you’re incredibly busy, but could I have a quick word?’

Master Campbell asks me from his usual table when I rush past to carry on with my floral preparations.

‘I can follow you so as not to disturb you too much. We can talk as you work.’

‘Of course,’

I reply, hoping he isn’t sick or worried about something too serious.

‘Come this way. Is all OK, Edward?’

It feels strange calling him by his first name, as he’ll always be the schoolmaster to me, but after he’s told me to at least three times, I feel it’s only polite to oblige.

I walk towards my long workstation table at the back of the florist’s, where a selection of elegant white roses, pine cones, greenery, gold ribbon and church candles are waiting for me to bring them together for the tables on Christmas Eve.

While the smell of fresh coffee from the far end of the store can be overpowering, I’m delighted that today the entire place smells of floral aromas and Christmas trees. All I need now is for Gracie to call with her final decision on where she plans to spend the holidays, and with luck, everything will fall into place in the way I am hoping.

Talk about leaving it to the last minute.

‘So, it’s nothing serious. Don’t be worrying, but I’ve bought two tickets for the Christmas Eve bash at Ballyheaney House,’

Master Campbell tells me in hushed tones, even though there’s no chance anyone could hear him over the festive music, the coffee machine and the chatter from across the room.

‘Oh yes?’ I say.

‘But that’s the problem, you see,’

he says.

‘I bought two.’

The penny drops.

‘Ah.’

‘I think I did it out of sheer habit, Lou,’

he says, his friendly face forlorn.

‘I mean, I’ve never bought one ticket to anything in my life, so I automatically bought two as if I’d someone to go with. What a silly fool I am.’

I can barely look him in the eye, as his words resonate with me so much. When John and I parted ways in New York, I’d been so used to buying tickets for the two of us to see theatre shows and concerts, or even reserving a table for two in a restaurant, that it was hard to adjust. After a breakup or a bereavement, it’s another slap in the face when you’re reminded of how even the simplest things are so very, very different now.

‘I don’t think you’re a silly fool at all,’

I say. Suddenly, my nimble fingers feel thick and clumsy as I try to keep working as we’re talking, like he suggested.

‘I think a lot more people than you realise would understand your thinking totally. It’s a long, difficult journey you’re on, but you’re doing so well.’

‘Yes, yes, I suppose so,’

he replies.

‘I hope I am.’

‘The event has completely sold out,’

I tell him.

‘So, if you want to leave your extra ticket with me, I can easily sell it on and give you your money back.’

He doesn’t reply as quickly as I thought he might. Instead, he is looking over towards the coffee bar, where my mother and grandmother are in a heated debate over something or other as usual.

‘Unless?’

he suggests.

I wait for him to continue, but he doesn’t.

‘Aha!’

I say, my eyes widening like saucers.

‘Unless you ask someone to accompany you to the party?’

‘Yes,’

he says, brightening up already.

‘That’s what I was thinking.’

‘Now, that would be a perfect solution,’

I tell him.

‘I imagine you might want to leave it until we’re a little less busy, then pop the question. Everyone loves going to Ballyheaney House at Christmas – well, almost everyone – and I don’t think anyone wants to make a grand entrance alone.’

‘Not in a romantic way, of course,’

he declares.

‘That might be too soon, but then, time waits for none of us, does it?’

‘Time waits for none of us,’

I repeat after him.

‘I say go for it.’

He shuffles from foot to foot, staring at my handiwork. My hands have finally found their mojo again now that I know I’ve helped him find his way.

‘I’ve been thinking about this all morning, Lou,’

he says.

‘so I hope you don’t mind me running it by you for some clarity?’

‘Of course not.’

‘That’s another thing I miss,’

he says, his eyes following my hands as I arrange tiny white roses around a thick church candle.

‘I don’t have anyone to run things by, you know. We all need a second opinion now and then, but my son is so far away, and I always struggle with the time difference if I do need to ask him something.’

I stop what I’m doing and look him in the eye.

‘You can always get a second opinion from me, Edward,’

I tell him.

‘Always. Any time. Please know that.’

He stands up straight and puffs out his chest, looking much more like the old schoolmaster I’ve admired for so long.

‘I was hoping you’d say that, actually. Thank you, kindly. I’ll hurry along now,’

he says, his mouth quivering as he speaks. He clasps his hands together and gives a light bow in my direction.

‘The world is a better place for people like you, Lou Doherty. I’ll go for a walk by the lough and prepare my speech for later. Thank you.’

I watch as he makes his way through the shop and towards the coffee bar, where he says his goodbyes before fetching his coat and hat from the hooks by the door.

I can’t help but wonder what his plans are for Christmas Day. Surely he isn’t going to have dinner for one? Maybe his son and his family will surprise him by coming back here since it’s his first without Agnes, but then New Zealand isn’t exactly around the corner, and I’m told they spent at least a month in Ireland last year around the time of her passing and the subsequent funeral.

I get on with my work for the next hour or so, glancing at my phone every few minutes and hoping I’ll hear of my own offspring’s plans for Christmas, even if my gut tells me to prepare for the inevitable. It’s Saturday, which means flights will be almost impossible to find, if not extortionately priced for Christmas, so as much as I’m holding on to the tiniest glimmer of hope, I’ve come to realise that Gracie’s final decision had probably been made a long time ago.

‘Penny for your thoughts?’

I hear.

‘That was a very deep sigh.’

Ben’s arrival with Ava, who is already at the coffee bar making up a drink for a customer and being very generous with the marshmallows on top, has gone completely unnoticed while I was lost in thoughts of Gracie on the other side of the Atlantic.

‘Sorry, I was miles away in my head,’

I tell him.

‘Literally. How are you? Is your mission impossible complete? You do look like the cat that got the cream.’

I do my best to ignore his sexy stubble, his woollen green jumper that shows off the definition of his arms, and his jeans that sit comfortably on his strong thighs.

‘All organised, signed and sealed,’

he says, his eyes dancing with excitement.

‘It’s a good one. Probably the best present I’ve bought this year by far, but she’s my mother and she deserves it.’

I am deeply intrigued as well as impressed.

‘Cordelia was here earlier,’

I tell him.

‘What a surprise to see her home early!’

‘Yes, she nearly gave my mother a heart attack this morning when she called needing a lift from the airport. Of course, I had to go get her,’

he says.

‘But yes, it’s so good to have her home earlier than expected. We’re cruising along nicely with only four days to go.’

‘And the whole thing’s a complete sell-out, so now of course I’m wondering if my centrepiece displays are up to scratch,’

I say.

‘What do you think? I’ve gone for a church candle with white roses, pine cones and gold ribbon as well as a touch of greenery. And here’s one I made earlier.’

I hold up one of my finished pieces, watching as he breaks into a smile and nods his head.

‘Classy,’

he says, unexpectedly taking my breath away with a glance in my direction.

‘Last night was fun, even if you didn’t take us up on our movie night offer. I can easily recite every word of every Home Alone movie by now, yet I still want to watch one every Christmas.’

‘I remember how much you loved those movies,’

I tell him.

‘You’re a sucker for a classic.’

‘I suppose I am,’

he says, looking round to make sure he’s out of earshot.

‘Look, I’d love to treat you for all your hard work, Lou. And please say no if you feel any pressure.’

‘Don’t tell me, you’ve chartered a plane to jet me off to the Maldives?’

‘Not quite that, I’m afraid,’

he says.

‘but if you don’t have any plans this evening, I’d like to take you for dinner. As a business meeting too, of course. No such thing as a free lunch, as the saying goes. We can go over everything one more time.’

I’m distracted by some commotion up by the coffee dock, so I down tools to see what’s going on.

‘That would be lovely,’

I say to him with a hearty smile as I make my way to see what’s going on.

‘Let me just see if everything’s OK up here.’

Ben follows me towards the front door, where Ava, my mother, my grandmother and a few customers have made a circle around someone, totally blocking the entrance to Buds and Beans.

‘Crumb!’

I exclaim, recognising Beth Sullivan’s puppy before I even acknowledge the woman herself.

‘Sorry, Beth. How are you? Come in if you can get past your fan club.’

They disperse, some covering their mouths with their hands at the puppy’s cuteness.

‘I think it’s Crumb’s fan club rather than mine, but I completely understand,’

she coos.

‘I don’t blame anyone for marvelling at her cuteness. She’s the best girl in the whole world.’

She lifts the puppy up to her face and closes her eyes as she snuggles in.

‘I know if I ever need a crowd in here, I’ll invite you and Crumb to be the special guests,’

I tell her. I look behind me to see Ben watching on with a look of love in his eyes, which I imagine is for the puppy, or at least Ava’s reaction as she circles us.

‘Ava, darling, why don’t you give your special customers some space,’

he says, coming closer.

‘I apologise. My daughter is helping here today and is perhaps a little too keen.’

‘She’s fine,’

Beth says quickly.

‘Honestly. And besides, I’m not hanging around, as much as I’d love to. I only wanted to drop by to say thank you, Lou, for all you’ve done for Danny and me over the past week or so with your exceptional writing talent, not to mention the stunning flowers. I think you might have started a craze.’

‘There’s just no end to your talents, is there, Lou?’

says Ben with a smile.

‘She’s like a marriage mender,’

says Beth.

‘I ordered flowers for my husband after we’d had a row about what gives me the ick, and Lou thought of telling him all the things I loved about him in a letter, which she read out. It worked a treat.’

I decide to take the compliment wholly, rather than brush it off like I usually do.

‘I always did say she was magic! Lou, we’ll catch up later when I come back for Ava,’

says Ben.

‘I’ll text you the plan for dinner before then, OK?’

‘Great, see you soon,’

I call after him, before getting back to Beth and Crumb.

‘Sorry, this place is crazy today. Can I get you a coffee or anything?’

Beth is barely listening though as her eyes follow Ben through the window until he gets into the car and drives off.

‘I know I shouldn’t be passing remarks as a happily married woman, but hubba hubba,’

she says with a cheeky smile.

‘There’d be no ick with him, I bet.’

I’m suddenly aware of Ava, but she’s being kept busy by Mum and Nana, thank goodness, lifting empty cups from tables with a very important air about her. I notice she’s wearing a little mascara and lip gloss and how she sings while she works. She’s a sociable little thing, much more so than her sometimes quiet and reflective father. My throat stings when I think of how strange it is that here we all are, watching and admiring her, praising her efforts, yet the one person who should be cheering her on, isn’t.

‘Ben and I are very good friends,’

I say to Beth. I don’t know her very well yet, so I don’t need to tell her any of my business, as much as she seems a very affable young woman.

‘He’s only human, so I’m sure he has icks aplenty like the rest of us.’

‘True,’

she says.

‘Well, I’ll be off then. I posted on Insta about your service like I said I would. I hope you don’t mind?’

‘Well, that explains a few things,’

I tell her, patting the little dog before they leave.

‘I’m sorry I’m distracted right now. I’ve so much on my mind. But it means a lot that you called in today. Thank you, Beth. And thank you for bringing Crumb in to brighten our day too. She’s a very cute puppy, and so well behaved as well.’

Beth smiles, her red hair bouncing as she walks towards the door, before Ava stops her one more time.

‘Is she a sausage dog?’

she asks Beth, who seems more than glad to take questions about her precious pooch.

‘I have a very old Labrador called Roly who is my best buddy.’

Beth leans forward to let Ava rub the puppy’s head again.

‘Yes, a ten-week-old dachshund, so she’s still very brand new to me,’

she says.

‘Her brother was meant to go to a neighbour of ours, but they changed their mind, so I’m tempted to take him too if no one else does.’

My eyebrows raise and my ears prick up. My mother’s do too, even though it looked like she was in a deep conversation with another customer by the counter.

‘Would you mind giving me the owner’s details, please?’

Mum asks.

‘I might know someone who would be interested, once they’ve thought it through properly.’

I take a deep breath, knowing I’m going to have to dig deep for self-control over this one.

‘Are you going to get the boy puppy, Liz?’

Ava asks my mum, clasping her hands while balancing on her tiptoes. Beth is scribbling down details on a napkin.

‘Not me,’

Mum replies.

‘Just someone else I know who might need a friend. I’ve done enough research to know that these dogs are very adaptable, and they adore one-to-one company, so it’s certainly worth an enquiry. Thank you, Beth.’

‘You’re most welcome,’

she says.

‘But remember, a dog is for life, not just for Christmas.’

‘I couldn’t have put it better myself,’

I call after her, wondering who she reminds me of with her confident stance and natural beauty.

‘Right, kids, let’s get back to work. Are you having fun, Ava? Don’t let them boss you around too much while I’m busy down the back.’

Ava giggles, already wiping down tables. She is loving this, I can tell.

‘When I’m older, maybe I can work here for real?’

she asks me.

‘Dogs and hot chocolate and Christmas treats. I love this job.’

I feel like giving her a hug, but I know I don’t know her quite well enough just yet. Nana Molly is busy cleaning cups in the back room, unaware of the party proposal that’s coming her way, Mum is gaga over a puppy, and little Ava is singing as she works.

With Cordelia home early, and Ben’s dinner invitation, so far today has been full of surprises.