25 #2
Then I pick Robbie. It has taken me multiple time loops to figure out I need to advocate for myself. And what better time than now? I slide Leo’s ring off my finger.
Then I hastily scribble the final lines of the song and bolt out of my room.
“Where are you going?” Wit Wit asks when she finds me in the foyer, cramming my feet into my boots.
“I won’t be long,” I say, groping for my car keys from the basket by the door.
“But it’s Christmas Eve, our dinner is tonight, and—” Her eyes go wide as they land on my left hand, now empty. “What happened to your ring?”
“Can you tell Leo I need to talk to him after I return?” I ask, looking her dead in the eyes.
“Sorry?” she exclaims.
“What are we yelling about?” Juliet comes around the corner, Kristy balanced on her hip.
“Juliet, you need to talk sense to her,” Wit Wit says, but when Juliet sees my empty finger she just smiles.
“Do you need me to drive?”
“How do you already know where I’m going?” I ask, mouth gaping.
“I’m your BBFF, Marygrace,” Juliet says. “I know everything about you. Even the things you don’t know yet.”
“What?” My eyes are wide.
“Now don’t move, babe,” Juliet says. “I’m going to give Kristy to Lisa.”
I’m so distracted watching her go that I yelp as Wit Wit grabs my keys from my hand and pulls her own from the basket. “I’m driving. I’m not about to let a tired first-time mom and my baby sister who failed her driving test twice drive in the snow.”
“I only failed the written test, wait—” I rise up on my toes to peer out the window behind Wit Wit. “It’s snowing?”
Sure enough, slow, fat flakes are drifting down onto the lawn.
“Perfect weather for a dramatic confession, right?” Juliet asks, appearing now with a coat on.
“Let’s go.” Wit Wit hustles us both out the door.
“I assume we’re going to the Music Boy’s house?”
“Obviously,” Juliet shouts as she jumps into the back seat of Wit Wit’s Volvo SUV.
I buckle myself into the passenger seat. I can’t stop to ask how Wit Wit knows that and instead focus on the crinkled sheet of music in my hands, running the new lyrics over and over in my mind.
It’s Christmas Eve, plenty of time for a Christmas miracle.
The gently falling snow drifts down over Hopewell Crossing’s streets and homes, turning the whole neighborhood into something out of a holiday postcard—festive, peaceful, and impossibly picturesque.
Everywhere I look, I recall memories of Robbie and me. The streets and sidewalks, blanketed in fresh snow that looks like puffs of cloud and crunches lightly underfoot, have been the scenes of countless snowball fights and snow angels.
The snowmen standing guard in a few front yards with their crooked carrot noses and mismatched scarves are just like the ones Robbie and I made—hoping they’d come to life and dance through the streets with us.
We pass my favorite cul-de-sac where we played countless games of tag with our classmates. Robbie was so bad at that game I called him Ice Man because I had to unfreeze him so many times.
I cringe seeing our bus stop corner, recalling when we were two awkward freshmen waiting in the predawn chill. Robbie would lug his keyboard in a soft case because he insisted practicing before morning classes “built character.”
I’d always roll my eyes. “You can’t build character, you have to earn character through experience.” And he would shrug at me, never losing that large, earnest grin of his.
My chest tightens because freshman-year Marygrace knew she had to experience things before figuring them out.
And so did Madam Lunas, apparently, by sending me through multiple time loops to experience my life with my exes.
If anything, I’ve built character and made an important realization: I can’t believe I let my friendship with Robbie die all those years ago.
Wit Wit makes the next turn, and as her car passes Evergreen and Main, my heart sinks seeing the green brick building on the corner.
The store’s usual holiday decorations this time of year are gone.
Replaced by one tiny wreath and sterile empty windows that read EVERGREEN FOOT & ANKLE CLINIC.
Oh no! The music store is now a podiatry clinic?
“It’s really gone,” I whisper. Juliet lifts her brows and squeezes my arm.
I take a deep breath. It’s too late to save the store. Too late to go back to the kids who spent half their childhood there. But… maybe not too late to save what Robbie and I had. Hope flickers in my body.
It feels like a whole day passes before Wit Wit pulls up in front of the Morrows’ craftsman-style home. My nostalgia only increases seeing their familiar wreath with a deep blue ribbon, golden ornaments shaped like instruments, and a fancy cursive letter M in the center.
I take a deep breath and look nervously at my sister and then to Juliet in the back seat. “Wish me luck.”
Wit Wit rolls her eyes. “None needed. Music Boy has been in love with you since you were seven.”
I gawk at her. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
My sister scoffs. “Would you have listened? You were so into your childish STAR-Bae ratings in high school, I didn’t think Robbie had a chance.”
I swallow down a bit of unease. I wish I could shake the girl who used to think this way and tell her how foolish she was being.
Juliet huffs. “For the record, I’ve been Team Robbie the entire time.”
“We have all been,” Wit Wit says.
I have no words, I just glare at them.
“What?” Wit Wit gives me a sharp look. “You just needed to figure it out yourself. Now are you going to do it or what?”
I give my sister an awkward one-armed hug before pushing the passenger door open and swinging out of the car onto the snowy driveway.
My heart pounds with anticipation. After all these years and multiple time loops filled with confusion and despair, it’s amazing to finally feel certain of something.
I race up the Morrows’ walkway and bang on their green door. Chest heaving, pulse short-circuiting, holding my page of song lyrics, I’m ready to confess everything.
On my third knock, a woman opens the door.
For a moment I have no idea who it is. I was expecting Robbie to answer, but this isn’t him. It’s not his mother, either. I freeze as I realize who it is.
“Audrey,” I breathe. The last time I saw her was at Olivia’s bachelorette party, where she was singing with Robbie and his band.
She was dressed as Mrs. Claus at the time, and once again I find her in red, only this time she’s wearing a festive cocktail dress with her hair piled on her head in a very chic updo.
I suddenly feel very self-conscious in my Christmas pj’s.
I pull my black puffer jacket closed as if that will hide the dancing bears on my shirt.
I was in such a rush I didn’t even consider what I was wearing.
Why didn’t I change? And better question—what is Audrey doing at Robbie’s house?
“Mary Silva,” she says, a look of confusion plastered on her face. She forces a smile. “Wow? Merry Christmas. It’s so nice to see you.”
“S—same,” I stammer, also confused. “Are you here for band practice?” I ask. Maybe they’re rehearsing for an event later?
Audrey laughs. “Band practice, is that what we’re calling it these days?” My legs wobble when she flashes her left hand with a diamond so huge it could probably sink the Titanic. The rock sparkles smugly in the Christmas lights around Robbie’s door.
No.
My head begins to spin. Please don’t let it be true.
“Honey!” Audrey calls over her shoulder. “You won’t believe who’s here.”
She turns back to me with a smile. But I can’t get my face to cooperate.
Robbie is engaged to Audrey. Robbie is in love with Audrey. I’m too late.