Always in my Heart
10
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Arriving home from Itohan’s and finding that Mary will not return until much later, I ask myself, for the first time since Special and I started dating, if I’m doing something wrong. I’ve always ignored asking about sexual needs and wants because there’s literally nothing I can do about it.
How has he been taking care of his desires?
Cheating is out of the question; I know the man I’m with.
Have I been selfish in not considering his wants and needs? But that’s because I don’t want to make a big deal out of it.
Shock waves run through me, down to my core, as I think of the endless possibilities—what we can and would do when I visit. Although he flirts, teases and makes me feel special, he has never broached the topic of sex with me. Maybe when I visit him, we could play around with… some options .
Why am I troubling myself when I can ask him whatever question I like? With where we both are in our academics and career, there’s a high chance of us getting married within two years.
Seeing that next week is his birthday and I don’t have enough funds to do much, I do some research about spicing up long distance relationships. There are some wild ideas, but I go with something simple. Something I want to witness when he receives it as a package.
Plan in place, I settle in for a video call with him. Excitement bubbles within me, as my plan makes my heart race. His face appears on my screen, and a smile tugs at my lips. “Hey, Spesh.”
“Hey, lover.” His voice, as familiar and soothing as a melody, reaches my ears. It banishes any lingering doubts or worries. I hear raucous laughter and shouts in the background. “How’s my favorite woman doing?”
I return his smile, my heart fluttering at his endearing words. “I’m good, really excited about everything; your birthday, graduation… my trip, meeting your friends...”
Before I can say more, his expression changes to one of mischief. Suddenly, his camera angle shifts. Confusion momentarily washes over me until a group of guys come into view, their faces wearing playful grins, their attention, somewhere else.
“Hey, Special, who’s that?” one of them calls out with a cheeky grin.
Special chuckles, his gaze never leaving the screen as he walks toward them. “Guys, this is Fifi, the woman who keeps me on my toes.”
Oohs and aahs circulate the room and the guys wave, offering friendly greetings. I wave back, my heart lightening at their warm reception.
Special grins.. “Fifi, meet the troublemakers.”
“Fifi, huh?”
“She must be something special.”
“Nice meeting you, Fifi.”
“So, you’re the one, huh?”
“You’re taking care of him! ”
Smiling, I blush at their banter. Usually, Special and I keep to ourselves. This… this is the first time he’s physically introducing me to his friends. It’s a glimpse into his world that I haven’t had before.
The guys continue their playful teasing, while Special switches the camera to focus on himself. “Sorry about this. We’re just catching a football match.”
“No worries, babe. It’s nice to see you having a good time.”
“So, how have you been, love? Anything interesting happening on your end?”
I confirm if he has his earpiece on and he nods, yes.
Leaning back in my chair, a wave of comfort wash over me as we shift back into our private conversation. Should I tell him about my visit to Itohan’s? Or the movie? Nah… this is more interesting. “Oh, you know, I’ve been doing some research on ways to make things more…” lowering my voice, I croon, “interesting.”
His eyebrows shoot up in curiosity, his eyes dance with amusement. “Oh really? And what have you found?” The laughter and banter of friends continue in the background. He looks away, seeming distracted.
I catch his eye and offer an impish smile. “Umm… can I ask you something?”
His gaze holds mine. “Of course. Ask me anything.”
I lean in slightly, making my tone hush and as sensual as I can. “Could you maybe go to another room for a moment?”
His eyebrow rises as though he’s going to ask a question. Then he thinks about it and simply nods. “Sure, hold on a sec.”
I can’t hold back my nervous smile as he gets up, walking away from the group. His friends make playful remarks as he leaves.
“Alone now?” I ask when I realize he’s out of the zone.
“Yes love. What’s up?” He doesn’t look pleased being separated from his pack, but soon…
I clear my throat which has suddenly become tight. “This question is um…” Should I open this pandora box? Why am I doing this again? I shut my eyes with a tight smile. “Oh God!” I whisper, palming my forehead. I’m not about to chicken out .
“Hey Fifi baby,” he teases, “what is it?”
Still smiling, I open my eyes, press my lips together and shake my head. Gosh! I’m not eighteen, I’m almost twenty-four.
“Is it my birthday? Baby, I’ve told you not to worry about it.”
“Hmm mmh.” I shake my head, before choosing my words carefully. “Well, you know how we’ve been apart, and I’ve been missing you like crazy.”
He nods slowly, his forehead furrowing as his gaze becomes intense. “I’ve been missing you too.”
“Hm… that’s what I want to know. How have you been taking care of yourself?”
He scoffs, then lets out a soft chuckle.
“Serious, I’m not joking… Do you—like how—do you take care of yourself?”
He continues chuckling, then calms down and licks his lips, his voice growing slightly hesitant. “The usual.”
I feel my cheeks getting hot. His honesty is both refreshing and endearing. I clear my throat again. “The usual?”
“Yeah, you know, doing what guys do.”
I chuckle at his attempt to broach the subject delicately. “I see. Well, like I said, I’ve been doing some research on... ways to make things interesting for us.”
I tell him what I’ve learned, and he cracks up. “I swear, you’re something else.”
Smiling, I roll my eyes. “Only you would know.” Taking a deep breath, I channel my inner confidence trying to embody my flirtatious side. “Well then, since we’re miles apart, I was just wondering… what would you like us to do right now, over the phone?”
There’s a brief pause, and he smiles, brushing a hand over his nose. “Oh… you’re full of surprises today.”
I bite my lips, smiling. “You like it? Do you have any ideas?”
“What are you trying to do?”
I chuckle, seeing his struggle .
He shakes his head and I know he’s made a decision. “Baby… as much as I’d love to indulge in that right now, I’m actually watching a football match with the guys.”
I stop smiling, nodding my head in agreement. How silly of me? I should have just waited until we were settling for bed. “Oh, um. I’m sorry. I guess the match takes priority.”
His smile turns faint and wan. “Don’t give me that look now—”
“No, it’s nothing.”
“I promise, we’ll have plenty of time for this conversation when we’re together. Like in person.”
“You’re right.”
“Baby?”
“I’m fine. It’s nothing.”
“But if you’re not busy, we can switch to voice call. You can stay on the line with me. I’ve missed you all day.”
“Okay. That’s fine.”
Plan A: Failed.
Who says there isn’t plan B?
While he goes back to join the guys, I take a deep breath, my fingers hovering over the screen of my phone. My heart races as I recall the advice I’d read online—never show your face. With that in mind, I take a mighty leap, embracing my inner seductress.
Carefully positioning the camera to capture just the right angle, I snap a photo that leaves just enough to the imagination. With a slight smile, I attach the image to a message and type, Open up love! It’s your pre-birthday gift. My thumb hovers over the send button for a moment before I tap it.
The guys are talking and Special’s contributing to the discussion.
My heart pounds like a drum. Come on… check your message. Please don’t let other people see it. Check. Check. Che —he pauses midsentence and I assume he is checking his message.
Seconds stretch into what feels like an eternity .
The other guys continue talking.
My phone vibrates with a notification.
Rushing, I open the message, my heart racing as I read his words.
New Message from Special Love.
Well played ????
Hahaha! My pulse quickens as I wait for another reaction, wondering what he’ll say. I bite my lip, my nerves getting the best of me as I wait for him to continue typing or to speak. And then, a bubble forms. Another message appears.
New Message from Special Love.
I’m speechless…
A surge of pride blossoms in my chest for my boldness, and for taking a step outside of my comfort zone.
Perfect! Hehehe. I’m sure he can’t remember we’re still on call because someone calls for his attention, but he ignores them. Is he getting the rush I’m getting knowing his friends have no idea what’s happening? Is he blushing, grinning, or scrolling back up to look at the image again?
Staring at his response on the screen, I can almost picture the expression on his face—the surprise, the curiosity, the intrigue.
Is he zooming in? Does he wish we had continued our discussion in private instead of going to watch the match?
Wow! His reaction is both thrilling and validating. I can’t believe I went through with it.
Who’s making Special speechless?
Me!
Where are the London girls?
Nowhere!
From now till what ?
Eternity!
Hahaha…
Just as I’m about to respond to his last message, he calls out my name with a furtive voice. “Are you there?”
“Right here.”
There’s some movement on his end and the background noise fades. His voice sounds a bit different, almost breathless, as he continues, “What are you trying to do? Why did you send something like that?”
I smile, knowing that he’s probably looking at the image right now. “I hope it was a pleasant surprise.”
There’s a pause on his end, and then a chuckle rumbles through the line. “Oh, believe me, it was definitely a surprise.”
I let out a nervous laugh, my cheeks warming at his response.
“You know, you’re torturing me here, don’t you?”
“That’s the plan.”
“A poor weak man can only take so much. Did you take it right now? Is that what you’re putting on?”
I chuckle harder at his dramatic response, the sound of his voice warming my heart. “Oh, come on. I thought you had other priorities.”
“Priorities that can wait.” He clicks his tongue. “You have no idea how much my heart’s racing right now. Your breasts are so ripe, so full and—did they grow bigger?”
A sharp sensation rushes from my nipple down to my core causing me to shiver slightly. It’s like we’ve unlocked a new level of intimacy. Licking my lips, I dare to be bold. “Well, I promise you, there’s more where that came from.”
He lets out a playful groan. “You’re killing me here.”
I grin, my heart swelling with affection for my man on the other end of the line. He’s never troubled me or asked for physical intimacy—distance won’t even let him try. I know I’m opening pandora’s box, and I’m ready. “Don’t worry, lover. You won’t have to wait much longer. The holidays are just around the corner. ”
He lets out a dramatic sigh, his tone still laced with playful frustration. “Ah, the holidays… I don’t know if I can hold on until then.”
. “You’ll survive, baby. And when we’re together, we’ll make up for all this distance.”
“I can’t wait to have you here.” His voice softens, adding a touch of warmth to his words. “God… it’s been too long.”
“I can’t wait either.”
“Please for my sanity, don’t send anything like that again.”
“You—you don’t like it?”
“No baby… no. It’s too much. I’ll prefer to wait till we see. Does that make sense?”
No. With everything I read online, there’s so much we can be doing, distance or not.
“Baby?”
“Yes. It makes sense.”
“Please, abeg.” He chuckles softly. “Don’t worry, I’ve saved enough so I can send funds you can use for your visa application. I’ll also start working on mine.”
“Ah, Spesh. I thought the funding matters when—”
“You have something in your account now, yeah?”
I hesitate. “Yeah. But it’s not much.”
“Don’t worry. It’s the transaction history they need to see. Let’s start on it now.”
“Thanks love.” Is it possible for someone to burst from ecstasy?
His voice becomes softer as he says, “Baby, no matter the distance, no matter the time apart, you’re always in my heart.”
I close my eyes as his words settle over me like a warm embrace. “And you’re always in mine.”