Just a Lover’s Spat
19
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The train arrives with a gentle rumble, and we find a spot by the window. As the train smoothly glides along the tracks, the cityscape transforms outside—from bustling streets to quiet neighborhoods and back again. Enjoying the warmth of Special’s arm on my midriff, we exchange occasional smiles and glances, communicating with only our expressions.
Upon reaching our stop, we disembark and ascend to street level. It’s a short distance to Special’s apartment, and our steps fall in sync. Despite only being here for almost 24 hours, his neighborhood already feels familiar.
Inside his apartment, we unwind from the day. Special disappears into the bathroom, while I settle onto the bed with my laptop. The soft glow of the screen illuminates the dimly lit room as I open my email inbox, scrolling through messages that had accumulated since yesterday.
Getting lost in the task at hand, I delve into the emails demanding my attention—work updates and the various threads that keep me connected to different aspects of my life. I left work early yesterday to catch my flight, and now I’m catching up on what I missed.
The sound of the bathroom door opening rouses me from my task. I glance up to see Special looking irresistible in a sky-blue round neck and what appears to be the joggers from this morning.
Oh, this morning… It feels like a distant memory which I’m tempted to revisit, but first, I need to tackle these things off my list.
Special raises an eyebrow. “You’re not working now, are you?” he teases, his tone light. “Haven’t you had enough work for today?”
I let out a soft chuckle, setting aside my laptop to focus entirely on him. “You know how it goes. These emails are relentless. And I’m catching up on what I missed yesterday when I was on my way to see you-know-who.”
He strides across the room with effortless grace, his gaze locked on mine. As he approaches, he leans in, a teasing smile playing on his lips. “Just a reminder that after indulging in all that sugar, you know you’re supposed to brush your teeth before bed, right?”
I arch an eyebrow, curving my lips into a smirk. “What, are you calling me dirty?”
His laughter rings out, his eyes sparkling with humor. “I wouldn’t go that far, but a little dental care never hurt anyone. Go and brush your teeth.”
“Oh, come on.” I feign seriousness, shaking my head. “Are you going to nag me about this forever?”
He smiles, gently brushing a strand of hair behind my ear. “Nah, I’ll let it slide this time. After all, you’re too charming, even with the prospect of unbrushed teeth.”
His words send a warm flutter through me, and I giggle.
“Be right back,” he announces, heading towards the bathroom to complete his nightly routine.
Smiling to myself, I turn back to my laptop, skimming through emails with renewed focus. A subject line grabs my attention, and I pause for a moment. My heart skips a beat as I open the attached document. Words leap out at me, drawing a frown of concentration.
Oh my! Like a bolt of lightning, realization hits me. Without thinking, a gasp or is it a scream? Escapes my lips.
Speci al is by my side in an instant, concern etched on his face. “What's wrong? Are you alright?”
“I’m so sorry,” I chuckle-giggle-laugh, extending a hand towards him, unable to contain my excitement. “Baby, you won’t believe it. Look at this!”
Turning my laptop towards him, I point at the email attachment that’s causing my heart to race.
He scans the words, and realization dawns on him. “Is that what I think it is?” he asks, his lips curving into a proud smile.
Folding my arms, I nod vigorously, my words tumbling out in a rush. “Yes! It’s an offer from Rubicon to upgrade my role to an associate’s. And look at the salary—they’re offering almost double what I’m earning now.”
His smile widens and he turns to me, grinning. “Congratulations!”
A nervous laugh escapes me as the magnitude of the moment sinks in. “I know, right?” I place a palm on my forehead to confirm I’m awake, and not dreaming this up. There it is, in clear print, the offer I’ve long hoped for. “It’s just... It’s overwhelming.”
He steps closer, his hand reaching out to gently touch my shoulder. “You deserve this, Fifi. You’ve worked so hard, and this is your reward.”
My lips tremble in gratitude as I look up, sending a silent thank you to God.
“Thank God,” Special says, squeezing my shoulder.
I turn to gaze at him, overwhelmed with gratitude—for his support and… and the way he’s been by my side through every challenge and triumph. With him beside me, I know that whatever lies ahead, I’ll be ready to face it head-on. “Thank you. For believing in me. For never giving up on us. Thanks for everything.”
He smiles, his thumb tracing a soothing path on my shoulder. “I’ll always believe in you, okay? This is just the beginning of amazing things for you. For us. But wait, let me confirm something.” He leans in again to view the screen, his gaze lingering as his expression subtly shifts, almost imperceptibly. “Bullshit,” he mutters.
What is it? I haven’t really read the terms and conditions of the offer, and it would be painful if there’s something tricky about the offer. Now that I’ve experienced the UK, I really want to move here. I hope they’re not transferring me to America or something.
Curio us, I ask, “What’s wrong?”
Special’s words cut through the air with a sharpness I didn’t anticipate. “You can’t be making more than me.”
Huh? You say?
There’s a storm brewing beneath the surface threatening to disrupt the otherwise celebratory atmosphere. My heart skips a beat, then begins hammering against my chest.
Is that a challenge? Did this man just come out of a rock or what?
I can feel the pulsing of blood through my veins with every heartbeat. Inhaling deeply, I steady my voice as I respond, speaking slowly, like I would to a toddler. “D-did they change my location?”
“No, but you’ll be in the Dublin HQ.”
“So… it’s just the earnings you have an issue with?”
My question is met with silence, along with a narrowed sidelong glance.
Shaking my head, I start, “Baby, this is not my money. It’s our money. Forget about who earns more—this is an amazing opportunity for me to grow and a chance to excel in my career. I love what I’m doing, and I want to continue in this field. Who knows, I could become an MD one—”
“I’m the man in this relationship.” His jaw tightens, his gaze intense as he meets my eyes. “It’s my responsibility to provide.”
Ugh—I want to scream, instead I choose my words carefully, my tone measured as I move to a kneeling position on the bed. “See Speshie, we’re partners. Our relationship isn’t defined by traditional gender roles. We support each other in every way we can. And this would be a great way for me to support us. We could… get a house and—”
“I know!” he whispers furtively, his eyes narrowing slightly. I look down and I notice his fists are clenched. “Seeing this—knowing this, makes me feel like I’m not doing enough. If you’re earning more than me, then what’s my role?”
I shake my head, determined to make him see reason. “We’re in two different industries and we both know tech pays more, so there’s no way I won’t earn more.” I hate that I sound like I’m pleading, but I continue anyways, reaching for his arm. “Baby, your role is to be my partner, my confidant, and the person I share my dreams with. It’s not about who e arns more—all that doesn’t matter.”
“So, on the long run, people would say I’m with you because of money?”
“Come on,” I tug his arm and he shrugs me off. I huff. “We’ve been together far longer than that.”
He visibly swallows, struggling to maintain eye contact, his voice quiet. “I just want to be the best partner I can be, Fifi.”
I reach out, my fingers gently brushing against his. “And you are, Spesh. Your worth isn’t defined by numbers on a paycheck. It’s defined by the person you are, the support you give, and the love we share,” I conclude, intertwining our fingers.
We stay in this position for seconds that feel like hours—him standing by the bed, me kneeling on the bed, our fingers entwined.
He closes his eyes for a moment before hesitating. “I think you should think deeply before accepting the offer.”
I meet his eyes, my gaze steady as I absorb his words. Never in my whole life would I have anticipated this. Was that a minuscule thread of threat in his tone?
Choosing to play my card right, because men are such sensitive babies, including my Special, I nod slowly. “I understand. This is a big decision, and I’ll give it the careful consideration it deserves.”
He lets out a sigh, releasing my fingers to reach up to smooth his hands through his hair. “It’s just... I want the best for us. I want us to be on the same page, you get?”
He’s vulnerable. I can see it’s not easy for him to get into this talk or express himself the way he just did, which I appreciate.
Reaching out, I place my hand on his arm in a gesture of reassurance. “We are on the same page, baby. Whatever decision I make will be with our partnership in mind.”
He meets my gaze, his eyes searching. “I know we’re partners, but sometimes these things can cause shifts, changes that we might not foresee. I just want you to think deeply about what this means for us. I support you, but we need to figure out how we’ll—how we’ll do this.”
Sever al emotions flicker across his face—relief, uncertainty, and a deep desire to protect what we’ve built. I feel the same way too…
Nodding in agreement, I hold back the words I’m tempted to say, Come on Spesh, change is a part of life and you’re making a big deal out of this one.