15. 15
Annabelle
Now
H ayes ushers me from his truck to Laura’s front porch with his hand on my lower back; the heat from his touch soaks through my sweater. I bend to lift one of the terra-cotta flowerpots decorating her porch and grab the spare house key hidden beneath it.
Turning to Hayes, I’m suddenly hyperaware of his proximity.
We’ve been in close quarters all evening, in his truck and on his couch, but standing here in the dark on the front porch feels different.
This setting creates expectations, reminding me of the end of an awkward high school date where the girl wonders if the hot guy will kiss her on her parents’ doorstep.
In hindsight, those high school days feel so simple. Boy likes girl and girl likes boy. But now, everything is messier and more nuanced. Layered in doubt and hesitation and complications. Nothing comes with a clear yes or no answer.
Lately, I’ve been open to casual dating; however, Hayes is my kryptonite. He glances in my direction, and I want to strip off my clothes and jump his bones. I still feel the same attraction to him I did a year ago, only it’s even stronger now.
But does he?
There were times tonight when he looked at me with such craving, like he wanted to consume me, but it’s possible I misread him.
Perhaps I mistook his attention and kindness for desire.
Maybe he was just being nice to me because he knew Kyle.
I’ve become accustomed to receiving pity from people when they find out what happened to my family.
Or… he might only be looking for a repeat performance, another one-night stand.
So, as much as I want him to push me up against the door and kiss me with reckless abandon, I’ve got to tap the brakes on my libido.
But, God, do I ever want him to kiss me again.
Reading the apprehension on my face, Hayes steps back, leaning his tall frame against the porch railing, giving me some space. But then our eyes lock, and the air between us crackles with anticipation.
Surely, I’m not misinterpreting this situation and these feelings. This is a mutual attraction. Right?
He pushes off from the railing, stalking me as I stumble back, my spine hitting the cold brick wall of the house. Bracketing his forearms on either side of my head, he pins me to the wall without even touching me.
I tremble under his watchful stare, my body begging him to reach for me.
Slowly, he lowers his arms, sliding his hands down the sides of my torso until they come to rest on my waist. Hayes leans down, pressing his forehead to mine.
Gazing at me, I swear he can see straight into my soul.
His lips hover above my own, and the urge is overwhelming to rise onto my tiptoes and kiss him.
Does he taste the same? Will his lips feel the same?
Will kissing him still set off fireworks within my belly?
I think I know the answer to that last question.
Just then, the front door swings open and we spring apart, startled at the intrusion.
“You gonna come in—oh! Oh my God, I’m sorry!” Laura yelps, slamming the door shut behind her.
Hayes’ lips twitch. “Why do I suddenly feel like a kid who just got busted by my date’s parents?”
“I had a parallel thought earlier.” I smile. “I’m just glad it was my best friend who caught us, and not one of my kids.”
And once those words leave my mouth, I remember why dating anyone, much less someone who’s famous, will be difficult for me, and the positive feelings from tonight—the elation at seeing Hayes again, the discovery that I’m still attracted him—deflate a little.
Our story isn’t a Hollywood movie or Disney fairy tale. We had an enjoyable night, which gave us both the opportunity to get answers and closure, but we don’t have a future. Despite Hayes’ earlier proclamations, our lives differ too vastly for a relationship to work.
And that’s assuming Hayes wants anything more serious than another roll in the hay.
I smile again, but this time, it’s a wistful one. Pointing to the door, I say, “I'd better get inside. It was nice seeing you again, Hayes.”
Hayes parts his lips like he’s about to say something, then thinks better of it. Instead, he shoots me a smoldering look, presses a kiss to my cheek, and heads for his truck.
“Bye, Hayes,” I murmur after him, watching as he walks away .
When he’s halfway down the sidewalk, Hayes turns around, calling out, “Annabelle, whatever this is between us… it isn’t finished.”
A tendril of hope unfurls within me.
He waits, with his truck idling, until I open Laura’s door before driving away. When the front door closes, I slump against it, shutting my eyes and sliding to the floor.
I’m exhausted and exhilarated. My mind is racing, but my brain is overloaded. In my wildest dreams, I never could have entertained the idea that my date with Josh would lead me to reuniting with Hayes. Or that they both knew Kyle.
How the hell did these different aspects of my life intersect in such a powerful, random way? Apparently, fate has a perverse sense of humor.
“So, how’d it go?”
My eyes fly open as I jolt upright, squealing in fright. “Holy shit, Laura! You could have warned me you were standing right there. You scared the crap out of me!” I clasp my hand over my hammering heart. My already fried nervous system can’t handle any more surprises tonight.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were so preoccupied that you didn’t hear me. Also, sorry for interrupting you and Josh outside. I assumed you’d gotten an Uber home, so I was curious why you weren’t coming inside.”
“You interrupted me at a good time, breaking us apart before I did something I’d regret.”
“Regret?” She eyes me peculiarly and waves her hand in my general direction. “I can’t tell if this behavior means you had an amazing date with Josh or a terrible one.”
Where do I even begin?
“My date with Josh was going well… until the other members of his band joined us. ”
“Members of his band?” Laura interrupts, a look of confusion flutters across her pretty face. “I thought you said he worked at the Ryman?”
“I was mistaken. When I met him, he told me he had to get back to work, so I assumed he worked at the concert venue. But what he actually meant was that he had to go on stage and perform with the headlining act of the music festival. Turns out Josh plays bass guitar in this little band you may have heard of called Outlaw,” I deadpan.
“Outlaw!” Laura’s jaw drops to the floor before she jumps up and down, squealing quietly so as not to wake the girls, who are asleep in a guest room just a few feet off the living room. “What? You went on a date with Josh Harper!”
“And that’s not even the craziest part of the night!”
Laura holds up a hand. “Stop. Stop this instant. We need wine.” She runs into her kitchen, and I follow her.
Pouring the wine, she hands me a glass, and I take a fortifying glug.
“I cannot believe I brought you to one music festival and you snagged a date with a member of the hottest band in country music!” Sending me a snarky side-eye, she snipes, “And you don’t even like country music! His talent is wasted on you!”
“I can’t disagree with that.” Hovering in the doorway between her living room and kitchen, I pop my hip out and lean onto the doorframe. “So, you know a lot about Outlaw?”
“Duh. They’re like country music royalty, Anna!”
“Who’s their lead singer?” I question, with a placid smile on my face.
“Ruston Hayes. He was named one of Country Music Magazine’s most beautiful people last year, and goodness gracious, he is good-looking!
” As she drones on about how attractive and talented Hayes is, I shoot her a look of exasperation, and I watch her face as she slowly puts it together.
Her eyes grow as big as saucers, and she trails off before shrieking shrilly, “Ruston Hayes… is Hayes. Are you telling me your one-night stand from last year was with Ruston Hayes?”
I nod.
“Oh my God!” With glee, Laura giggles. “My best friend slept with Ruston Hayes! Three times!”
Draining the rest of my wine, I set the empty glass down on the kitchen counter and run my fingers through my hair, gathering it into a loose ponytail.
“Yeah, I slept with Ruston Hayes, the lead singer of Outlaw. He’s the man I’ve been secretly, and stupidly , pining for and fantasizing about for over a year. ”
“Holy hell, Anna!” Laura’s hands fly up in the air. “Have you been living under a rock? How did you not recognize him at Tank’s last year?”
“Maybe because I was too busy dealing with the death of my husband to be reading magazines and following pop culture!”
Laura has the grace to look a little sheepish, but her reaction only lasts a few seconds before she circles her hand to prod me into continuing the story. “Keep talking, Anna.” She snags my empty glass and the wine bottle before leading me into the living room.
Quickly, I spill the tea. “Laura, I was stunned when Hayes walked in. My brain shut down.” I pause, reliving that moment as if it transpired in slow motion. “Then, to make matters even more chaotic, Kyle’s co-worker, Aiden, was also with them.”
“Oh. My. God.” She clasps her hand over her mouth. “Outlaw is repped by M&M Records! Holy crap, I didn’t put that together. Did Hayes know Kyle?”
“Yep, and now he knows I’m a widow with two kids.”
While Laura settles onto the couch, I drift over to stand by the large bay window, staring aimlessly out the darkened windows overlooking Laura’s front porch. The same porch where only minutes ago I stood with Hayes. It’s all so crazy, and I can’t quite grasp the reality of the situation.
“How’d you leave things with Hayes?”
“Up in the air.” I shrug. “I think he’s still attracted to me—”
“It certainly looked that way when I opened the front door!” Laura gnaws on her upper lip, and I can tell she has some opinions that she wants to share.
“Spill, Laura. Lay it on me.”
“Okay, okay. First, I’m glad you saw Hayes again.”
“But…” I prod expectantly.
“Maybe it’s better this way.” She shifts on the couch, wincing. “In your memories, you put Hayes on a pedestal. He became someone special and significant to you, but in reality, he probably won’t live up to your expectations.”
I snag the wine bottle off the coffee table and refill my glass. “Elaborate, please. You were always so gung-ho for me to find Hayes.”
“That was when I assumed Hayes was a normal, average guy, not the lead singer of a popular band. Hayes has been in the tabloids some over the past few months because of his dating life.” She raises her eyebrows. “According to the stories in the media, Hayes doesn’t do serious.”
My face falls at her words. As soon as I found out he was famous, part of me assumed Hayes had a colorful past, but a larger part of me hoped I was wrong.
“I can tell that I’ve upset you. I'm sorry. I just want to protect you.”
“The night we met, he said he’d broken up with a girlfriend and that they’d dated a year. He did serious then.” I counter.
Gah, I’m trying to defend him, which is a bad sign. Whether I’m willing to admit it or not, I’m already in deeper than I’d like .
With a grimace, Laura points out, “And he had sex with you the same day that he broke up with her.”
Damn, when she puts it like that…