17. 17
Hayes
Now
Me
Want to watch a movie together tonight?
Annabelle
I’d love to, but I don’t think I can get a sitter for the girls.
Me
Let’s hop on the phone after you put the girls to bed, and we can watch the same movie while we’re on the phone together.
Annabelle
I like that plan! A little long-distance Netflix and chill.
I bark out a laugh, confident Annabelle doesn’t know what she's saying. But on the off chance she does, I’m down.
Me
I’ll take Slang for $1,000, Alex.
Jeopardy, you know that Netflix and chill isn’t really watching a movie and hanging out, right?
Annabelle
Umm…
I laugh as I watch those dots hopping. I’d bet a million bucks that she’s scrambling to google what it means. To save her time, I help her out.
Me
It’s more like IMAX and Climax.
Hulu and screw you.
Showtime and go time.
Blockbuster and cockthruster.
Annabelle
OMG. I get it, Hayes!
Me
Just out of curiosity, how many people have you said that to?
Annabelle
I plead the fifth.
Annabelle
Lunch again today?
Me
Already planning on it. Have a place in mind?
Annabelle
Can we go back to that wrap and salad place we tried last week?
Me
Of course, Yankee. See you soon.
Annabelle
I’m counting down the minutes!
Me
Ah, you miss me that much?
Annabelle
No, I skipped breakfast, so I’m starving.
Me
You wound me, woman.
Me
I missed not seeing you today. Can we FaceTime later?
Annabelle
Yep. I’ll call after I get the girls to sleep.
Oh, and I missed you too.
Me
Damn straight you did.
Me
Mayo or mustard?
Annabelle
Very random, but I like both, depending on what I’m eating with it. Hot dogs—mustard. Hamburgers—mayo.
Favorite food?
Me
A good steak cooked medium with a loaded baked potato. You?
Annabelle
Sushi or pasta.
Me
Beach or mountains?
Annabelle
Beach. You?
Me
Mountains. My ranch has great mountain views, and it's my favorite place to go when I need a break.
Annabelle
Ranch? Like a dude ranch?
I smile at my clueless city girl.
Me
No, like a ranch on a couple thousand acres of green grass, rolling hills, and dirt roads. Where I can sit on the front porch in a rocking chair, sipping sweet tea with only the sounds of nature to keep me company.
Annabelle
Sounds peaceful.
Hayes
It is. Play your cards right and I’ll bring you and the girls out there.
Me
Bailey and Rowdy find out today if they’re having a boy or girl. I can’t wait to be Uncle Hayes.
Annabelle
That’s exciting! Are they going to tell people or keep it a secret?
Me
You obviously don’t know Rowdy. There’s no way he could keep his big mouth shut.
Annabelle
True, but I look forward to getting to know them.
Me
I’d like that too, Yankee. Maybe we can do dinner with them soon?
Annabelle
Count on it! Do either of them have an inkling? I knew right away I was pregnant with girls both times. Mother’s intuition, I guess.
Me
Bailey thinks it’s a girl, but Rowdy is praying for a boy. The thought of being a girl dad scares the shit out of him.
Annabelle
Ha! Sounds like it’ll be a girl, then.
Me
You were right. It’s a girl. Rowdy’s shitting bricks and already talking about how his daughter won’t be able to date until she’s thirty.
Annabelle
Guess what Grace said last night?
Me
I can’t wait to hear this. Your Grace stories are always the best.
Annabelle
As we were cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, she exclaimed, “I’m just like this olive oil — extra virgin!”
Me
LOL. Does she even know what a virgin is?
Annabelle
She does not. Turns out that she thought it meant that she hadn’t had a boyfriend before.
Me
So, when I meet her, can I call her Olive Oil or just Olive for short?
Annabelle
No, Hayes, you cannot.
Me
You’re no fun, Yankee.
Annabelle
Want to come look at a house with me during lunch today?
Me
Sure. Pick you up at the usual time?
Annabelle
That’d be great. The house isn’t far from my work.
Me
I’ll pick up sandwiches beforehand, and we can eat on the way.
Annabelle
You’re the best!