Chapter 52 Leah
Leah
“You told me there’s no place for lies in the Bed of Truth.”
“Correct. It’s the law.” Her throat was so tight, so dry. Leah licked her lips. Her headache and tiredness, the secrets, trauma, and historic revelations, all dispersed like water vapor into the air. She hung on every jagged word that fought its way from his mouth.
“No judgment, just truth.” Jackson’s shoulders were braced, muscles taut, as he studied her. Leah nodded without speaking, and he ran an unsteady hand through his hair. “Swords and wings.”
“Pardon?” Was he not making any sense or had she missed something?
“Love should come with swords and wings. That’s what you said.” His voice was gruff. Blue eyes pierced hers. “And that’s what you’ve given me.”
“I don’t get it.”
“Me either.” An uneven smile lifted the corner of his lips and then fell away. “I didn’t know that’s what it could be like. I never imagined feeling this way. You’ve changed me inside and out, Leah Raven. And suddenly I have a sword and wings.”
She stared up into his face—so gorgeous, so serious. Her windpipe constricted by the stranglehold of anticipation.
“I’m difficult. I know that . . .” Leah allowed her jaw to drop in mock disbelief and it dragged a painful laugh from him. “But when I’m in, I’m all in. I loved Dominic with every single part of me. He was the only person I’ve ever really loved. Until you.”
Her eyes burned with more tears and she scrubbed at them with her sleeve.
“You lift me up like no one ever has before. Every time you fight my corner, every time you call me on my shit, every time you see exactly who I am inside—screwups and everything—you make me soar. You are my wings.” The tips of Jackson’s ears turned pink.
“And, if you let me, I’ll be your biggest supporter.
I’ll protect you in return. I’ll draw my sword and go to battle for you, like you did for me.
I promise.” He took hold of her face in his hands.
“I love you, Leah. No one will ever love you more thoroughly, more willingly, more persistently than I will.”
She trembled like a wild hare. Jackson was right—she did know him.
His strengths and his vulnerabilities. And there wasn’t anyone else she trusted with the job of making sure he believed those strengths outweighed the weaknesses.
He was hers. And Leah had been his for a long time now. Whatever he might have thought.
“Jax, I didn’t text Matthew.”
He groaned and half shook his head. “You don’t—”
“I never would have done that. I haven’t thought about him in months and I’m not interested in seeing him again. I don’t want anything to do with him.”
“I’m an idiot. I should have talked to you and let you explain, but I let jealousy and insecurity and fucking stupidity get in the way. The more I lashed out, the less I knew how to crawl back and ask you to forgive me.” He looked away from her, clouds of shame storming in those blue irises.
She brought his face back to hers, determined to lay out everything she should have said before. “Our relationship was toxic. There were too many issues between Matt and me, too much baggage—”
Jackson reached out to drag her into his arms. Leah hit his chest with a thump, instantly swamped by his heat, his scent, his solid muscularity.
“I want to hear anything you want to tell me, always and forever, but you deserve my explanations first.” His voice was hoarse with regret.
“I hate the things I said to you. I didn’t even mean them.
There hasn’t been much kindness in my family.
I didn’t know what to do with yours.” He pressed a shaky kiss to her temple, his hands fisting in her hair.
“I’m so sorry, Leah. I’m so fucking sorry. I’ll do better. I’ll be better.”
“I’m OK with who you are, Jax. I really like who I see.” God, if there was one thing she needed him to know, it was that.
“That goes both ways, Raven. You don’t need to be anyone else for me to love you.
No dressing up unless you want to. No reining in your personality or making yourself small.
Forget anything I ever said that implied you should.
I was an ass but I was trying to protect you, I swear.
” He swallowed, his throat so close she could track the movement. “I’ll make it up to you.”
She twisted her hands in the front of his t-shirt, the soft cotton bunching in her fists.
“Yes, you will. I demand a shit ton of making up.” A grin was splitting her face, bubbles of laughter rising in her chest, even as a hot tear escaped from the corner of one eye.
“There will be breakfasts in bed, weekends at the beach, and all the rest of the Jurassic Park movies. Lots and lots of complimentary arm porn, just for me: I’m banning long sleeves.
And you’d better believe I’ll be adding more things to the list, as and when I think of them. ”
“God, I love that smile.” He seemed fixated on her mouth. Lifting his hand to touch the outside corner of her lips, he traced their curve. His gaze tracked the movement. “You’re my own personal weather system—sunshine and rainbows.”
“Don’t think you have the monopoly on storm clouds,” Leah smirked. “I’ve found I can be pretty badass when the need arises.”
“Oh, you’re definitely the badass I want on my side.” Jackson’s thumb moved against her hip, just over her raven tattoo. The strings of Leah’s heart strummed like the cheesiest harp glissando. “But what do you want, Raven? Tell me and I’ll do my best to get it for you.”
She pushed him flat on the bed and he let her. Climbing his body like a fallen tree, Leah straddled his hips and pressed her mouth fleetingly to his. “You really want to know?” she whispered.
Jackson nodded, pupils blown, hands weaving in and out of her hair. She kissed him again. And then, because she couldn’t help herself, she ran her tongue over his bottom lip, capturing his moan in her mouth.
He tightened his grip on her curls. She felt the firm ridge of him grow harder inside his jeans, pressing against her center, and her eyes fluttered shut. “What do you want, Leah? I can make it happen.”
She slid her hands inside his top, lingering over the hard planes of his stomach, the heat of his skin, the trail of hair from his navel. Tight muscles quivered and danced beneath her fingers.
“I want to feel like I belong somewhere. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. I thought that meant a house or a home but it turns out it doesn’t. I don’t mind where I end up now as long as it’s with you.”
“Done.” He flipped them over in a sudden movement, forcing a gasp from her throat. Leah found herself pinned by his weight. “You’ve got it.” He captured her mouth and she felt his smile in the moments before every thought she’d ever had leaked from her ears.
She’d missed him so much. Missed this. He might think she brought the color, but her life was dismal without him.
Leah wrapped her legs around his thick thighs, struggling to get closer still.
Their breathing grew ragged, their hands clumsy.
When Jackson pulled away, the distressed grumble that burst from her was instinctive, her fingers instantly reaching for his shoulders to drag his mouth back to hers.
“Wait,” he rasped. Undone, disheveled, and achingly sexy, he frowned even as his cobalt eyes danced. “This isn’t the Bed of Half-Truths, Raven. Spill it.”
“Spill what?” She was fixated on his swollen lips, his angular cheekbones, the sensual tug at her center.
“I told you I love you. And you—didn’t.”
“I see. Feeling needy, are we?” Leah tried to suppress the wide, teasing smile clamoring to break free. Jackson growled and a laugh bubbled in her throat as she took pity on him.
“I love you, Jax.” She captured his mouth and sucked at his lip. “I started loving you just a little when you ignored me at Esther’s funeral.”
“I was concentrating,” he grumbled.
“I loved you a bit more when you built that enormous bonfire.”
His lips twitched and her heart gave a giddy flip. “Yeah, that was fun.”
“I think I fell in love with you completely when you were all green and pukey with your migraine.”
“I’m OK with less specific detail.”
“I love how panicked you look when Hazel and Marjorie gang up on you, that thing you do with your thumb when you slide it inside my shorts, and I love, love, love you in your wetsuit.”
“Leching is not cool, Raven.” He ducked his head to kiss her again, his flushed cheeks giving the lie to his words.
“Jax?” she whispered against his lips.
“Yes?” He leaned his forehead against hers, blue eyes glittering—so intense they sent electric shocks dancing over her skin. His face was relaxed; it suited him.
“I love you.”
“There’s no need to go on. You’re getting mushy now.” And he dived on her, his hands sweeping under her hoodie.
Leah gasped and laughed and wriggled and arched, a thrilling sense of belonging tingling through her bloodstream.
“I’m only being honest. We are in the Bed of Truth, after all.”