Chapter 18
The walk home was too short for Elizabeth to realise what had happened.
She knew, of course, but she could not properly feel the significance of what had transpired between her and Mr Darcy.
In a brief conversation, they had agreed to bind themselves to each other and take a step which would change their lives forever.
The renewed proposal had been no closer to how Elizabeth had imagined the moment of her engagement than the harsh proposal a day prior.
But his sincerity, the way he had opened his heart to her and confessed his secret admiration was as touching as a romantic proposal after a long courtship.
At least she believed it was, since she had no experience with either.
That he had loved her for such a long time and considered marrying her, while she was completely ignorant and had misjudged his behaviour entirely, was a revelation that needed time to be properly comprehended.
Of two things she was certain. One, that he truly wanted to marry her and had even promised they would not consummate the marriage until she felt comfortable becoming his wife.
Such a vow was generous and puzzling, as she had not imagined a man might do such a thing.
The second was that the news of her betrothal would certainly cause more rumours and speculation than any other gossip and would certainly shatter the peace at Longbourn — as little as there was — from that day to the wedding.
She was also sure that she wished to marry Mr Darcy. She was still slightly frightened by how quickly and easily she had sealed her future, connecting herself to a man she admired and appreciated but barely knew, whose true nature and character were still puzzling to her.
It was raining lightly when Elizabeth entered the house, and she went directly to her father. She was happy to see him awake, already reading, but his face was still pale and altered.
“Papa, how are you feeling?”
“A little better. How are you feeling, Lizzy? I hope you had a good night’s sleep, as I see you are in a better disposition than yesterday.”
“I have barely slept at all, but I am more at peace than yesterday. Papa, there is something I must tell you,” she said, sitting near him.
“What is it, my child?”
“I saw My Darcy just now. By pure chance…”
“Did you?”
“Yes. So we talked. We discussed everything again. He was considerate and patient and…I decided to accept his proposal, Papa.”
The gentleman seemed to hold his breath, then he frowned.
“So suddenly? Yesterday you seemed determined to reject it!”
“I know…but it seems I was wrong. Mr Darcy said that he has admired me for a long time…since before the scandal. He said he did not propose to me due to the scandal alone.”
“I see… It is unexpected, I grant you that. And you, Lizzy? Have you accepted his proposal for the scandal alone? Perhaps for his wealth and connections? You will be rich, for sure. Even if Jane marries Bingley, your situation will be far better. I have been thinking about this all night. Are you sure you could be happy in this marriage? And that Darcy will be happy too? I love you, my dear, and I want only the best for you.”
He was obviously concerned and unsettled, and Elizabeth embraced him.
“Papa, I made this decision, and I accept full responsibility. I shall do everything in my power to turn this marriage into a happy one. I have been honest with Mr Darcy and confessed I am not certain of my feelings. But I know I admire and respect him — I told you that even yesterday. My only concern is whether we are suited for each other.”
“You seem sure of your decision, Lizzy.”
“I am sure enough, Papa. I know it would be better to take this step than not to take it. As for Mr Darcy’s wealth and connections, they are more of a reason to question my decision.
Mr Bingley’s situation is a comfortable one.
Mr Darcy’s situation in life implies responsibilities that I know I shall struggle to fulfil, as I am not prepared for them. ”
“You sound wise and reasonable, my Lizzy. I cannot believe how your life has been forcibly changed in only two days.”
“Nor can I, Papa,” she said, embracing him again.
“So…Mr Darcy has been in love with you for some time now?”
“Yes, Papa.”
“To be honest, I have noticed him staring at you, and the way he acts when you are around. And at the ball, he singled you out, did he not?”
“Yes.” She smiled.
“Poor fellow. This must be his punishment for refusing to dance with you at the assembly and calling you tolerable. Fate has a peculiar sense of humour and takes revenge when you least expect it.”
“I am happy to see you joking, Papa. Mr Darcy said he will call on you after breakfast.”
“Good for him. Have you decided on a wedding date?”
“No…but considering the circumstances and the fact that we have a clear agreement, he suggested a quick marriage. By licence.”
“That is to be expected. Which will not make it easier for me to accept it. Now I must become accustomed to the fact I shall lose you soon.”
“Papa, you will surely not lose me! Please do not worry. I want you to calm yourself and trust me that all will be well. My only concern is for you to be well, Papa! You must promise me!”
“I shall do my best, Lizzy. Now, I only need a favour: to not say a word to your mother until after breakfast. I am a little hungry, and I hope to eat in peace. Speaking of peace, I am thrilled that I must bear my cousin for the last time today.”
Shortly afterwards, they joined the family and found Mr Collins there, making plans for his departure and expressing his eagerness to see Lady Catherine de Bourgh soon. Mrs Bennet looked disconcerted and disappointed, enquiring when he would return.
Elizabeth smiled to herself. She knew her mother was devastated that Mr Collins would leave without proposing to her, and she would probably have to bear some scolding for not encouraging him more.
She imagined her mother’s response when she found out about the engagement to Mr Darcy, and her smile broadened.
They all began eating, and Elizabeth tried to imagine how the Netherfield residents would respond to Mr Darcy’s news.
The main object of her curiosity was Miss Caroline Bingley, who apparently had known about Mr Darcy’s admiration for her longer than anyone else.
It was no wonder that the lady despised her and had attempted to discredit her so many times.
While the notion of her mother and Miss Bingley’s shock was diverting, Elizabeth could not help worrying about Mr Darcy’s family: his sister, Lord Matlock’s family, as well as Lady Catherine de Bourgh. There was no reason for amusement there.
∞∞∞
As soon as he returned to Netherfield, Darcy was told breakfast was ready and the family was expecting him. He knew he would find the admiral in the library, and he went there first.
“It seemed the ride was beneficial to you, Darcy. You look much better, I must say.”
“I feel much better, sir.”
“I am glad to hear that. Have you changed your mind about joining me to call on Colonel Forster and then Mr Bennet?”
“In fact, I have, sir. But I wish to call on Mr Bennet first, as soon as we finish breakfast.”
“Truly? This is quite a change of mind, indeed. May I ask what has caused it?”
“It is surprising, but I met Miss Elizabeth earlier. A fortuitous meeting.”
“Surprising indeed! And?”
“And we spoke. Calmly and at length. And she agreed to marry me.” He ended with a smile on his lips, but the admiral was so stunned that he sat down heavily.
“All of a sudden?”
“Not quite. First we argued and disagreed. Then we spoke, and I confessed the truth about my feelings. I also admitted my struggle in regard to proposing to her. I mentioned the expectations placed on me when choosing my wife. She surprisingly agreed they are justified and expected opposition from my family.”
“Miss Bennet is a special sort of young woman,” the admiral said. “I observed it from the first moment I saw her.”
“She is, indeed. She was honest and open and admitted to worrying about the success of such a marriage. She seemed as concerned for my happiness as I was for hers. I needed more persuasion to convince her to accept me. In truth, I humbled myself properly,” Darcy said, keeping his smile.
The admiral laughed loudly.
“Seeing the proud and arrogant Darcy humbled must have been quite an image. Then again, humbleness is often appealing to women. On the other hand, most women I know would have been thrilled by your proposal and would have accepted it in the blink of an eye.”
“Miss Elizabeth is not like any woman I know. She has taught me how difficult it is to please a woman worthy of being pleased.”
The admired laughed again.
“Well, young man, if you keep that in mind and comply with it every day and every night, I have no doubts that your marriage will be exceedingly happy.”
Darcy stared at him for a moment, then understood the meaning and felt his cheeks burning.
“I trust your sense of honour and respectability has not prevented you from learning by this age how to reach that goal.”
“You should not worry in that regard,” Darcy replied hesitantly, feeling embarrassed.
“Good. I once told you that one should marry someone who pleases all your senses. Most men do not understand that is applicable to women too. But then again, most men I know marry for the wrong reasons and do not know how nor bother to please their wives. Neither during the day nor during the night.”
“Admiral, I appreciate your advice, but I beg you to change the subject. I do not feel comfortable speaking of this matter, as it involves Miss Elizabeth.”
“I respect that, young man. Protecting one’s wife is also something most men do not know how to do properly. So, how will you proceed? Have you set a date? Will you still return to London the day after tomorrow?”