26. Chapter 26
Chapter twenty-six
Ivy
I wrap my hands around the ceramic coffee mug, letting the warmth settle against my palms as I stroll to the barn. It’s already early afternoon, but as tired as I am, I'm going to need an obscene amount of caffeine to keep me lucid. I knew Cooper was right. I had a tendency to fixate on things until I had a raging headache or mettled into the insomnia territory. Plus, it would keep me away from Maddox and I could try to get myself under control. Jealousy? Really, Ivy?
I needed some time with Sugarfoot. I believe all the things that have been said about horses and therapy. I’d rather spend two hours with an equine therapist over a live human any day of the week. You can’t describe it unless you’ve experienced it, and it does quite literally cause pain to my heart living with the fact I can’t even get over my own fears to ride her again. Take her on the trials she loved so much.
The first thing I notice when I enter the barn is the new feeding trays, but then I lift my eyes, and skid to a stop.
“Hey,” Maddox says over his shoulder as he runs a brush through Sugarfoot’s long mane.
“What are you doing?” I narrow my eyes.
“What I do every day.” He shrugs a shoulder.
Every day?
“Tend to the horses? I thought that was Cooper’s job.” I take a sip of coffee.
He keeps brushing with one hand, slipping a treat to her mouth with the other. “It is.” He glances at me with those devastatingly beautiful eyes. I wonder how many hearts have stopped mid beat because of them. “But I take care of her.”
My heart thuds. Then it flutters.
Damn him.
“Why?” I question.
“Because she’s important to you.” His answer is so simple, and he stops brushing long enough to face me. His next statement makes my throat burn. “And you’re important to me.”
His eyes cast down to my sandals. “You might want to change your shoes.”
“What’s wrong with these?” I lift my feet one at a time.
He smirks. “We’re riding today.”
I squeeze the cup in my hand on instinct. The word riding causing that familiar fear to resurface. He’s not asking. “Maddox, no. I haven’t ridden since I...”
“Since you got hurt. I know.” He places the brush down on the bench beside Sugarfoot’s stall. “You know it wasn’t her fault. That rattlesnake was underneath her.”
“I know.” My voice strains.
Logically I know that. It was a freak accident. But I haven’t been able to get back on. I still love her. She’s still my horse. I just haven’t been able to ride again without a panic attack.
“I know you’re struggling with a lot of things right now.” His dusty boots bring him closer. “And I know you feel like you can’t trust anyone here. Obviously or you wouldn’t have left, but you can trust her.” He points back to the beautiful paint horse. “And I’d like to start building trust back with us. If you’ll let me.”
My heart can’t take it. I flicker my eyes to Sugarfoot, the horse that has listened to every heart break and life changing event that has ever happened to me. I then look to Maddox, seeing the obvious sign of hope in his eyes. It’s what softens the anger and the frustration I’ve been holding. He’s trying. Trying to do what, I’m not sure. Repair a friendship?
Taking a deep breath, I slowly retreat. “I’ll be back.”
The breath of relief that expels from his mouth is visible when I spin on my heels and leave the barn.