32. Chapter 32
Chapter thirty-two
Maddox
Four Years Ago
I sit on the edge of the bed, disgust and guilt running its way through my veins. Emily scowls as she emerges from my bathroom.
“I got to shower.” I push to my feet. “You can see yourself out.”
I spent the entire fucking day watching Ivy at the trail ride. The entire day remembering what she felt like when I held her in my arms. I spent the entire day trying not to torture myself over something I can never have, when Emily appeared. It was a vast decision. One I hoped would rid my mind of everything Ivy Mayson. But that wasn’t the case. It wasn’t the case when Emily’s mouth was on mine. It wasn’t Emily’s hair I fisted trying to chase a feeling that wasn’t coming. It wasn’t Emily’s face I pictured when a hand landed over my jeans on my half limp dick. No, I saw golden hair and pouty plush lips with eyes so emerald you get lost. I couldn’t do it, because she wasn’t my Ivy.
I slam my bathroom door then take a quick shower, hoping Emily read the room and got the fuck out. I was an asshole for even making her part of my scheme. She didn’t deserve that, and I knew it. Scrubbing a hand down my face, I wrap the towel around my waist and step back out into the living room when I spot Emily standing at my open door in nothing but my fucking t-shirt. Before I can ask why she thinks she has a right to wear my clothes, she edges open the door further, revealing a tear stained Ivy standing in the frame.
My gut sinks.
“If you’re looking for Brady he’s not here.” Emily says as she twirls a piece of her hair between her fingers.
“Oh, I wasn’t.” Ivy’s eyes meet mine, and the pain is damn near tangible.
She’s upset and here I am half naked…with Emily in my shirt.
Motherfucker.
“Sorry to interrupt.” Ivy turns while I quickly snatch up my jeans and shove my legs into them, before padding to the door barefoot.
“Where are you going?” Emily crosses her arms.
“Checking on Ivy. Make sure my brother is ok.” It’s a lie, but it rolls off my lips so smooth. “Take that off. We’re done here.” I say as I brush past her and down the stairs.
I hear her mutter something along the lines of “dickhead”, but I ignore it, rushing to catch Ivy as she enters the barn. My long strides catch up to her, and I latch onto her elbow when she’s made it past the second stall.
“Hey. You alright?”
Her brows furrow as she spins around and yanks out of my grip.
“Is it Brady?” I ask, knowing damn well it’s not.
Her scoff is soft, and she blinks up at the ceiling. “No. God, not everything has to do with Brady!" Her voice is raised and her chest heaving. “Did you sleep with her?”
I palm the back of my neck, knowing I shouldn’t let her think we did. My instinct is to push her away. To create distance. But the look on her face has me telling the truth. “No. I didn’t sleep with her.”
She rolls her lips together, her arms wrapping around her waist like she doesn’t believe me.
“Were they just lies?” She asks, her voice cracking. “All those things you said?” Her eyes are not the ones I see in my dreams. They look haunted right now.
They’re hurting and I hate it.
“What things?” My heart pounds.
“I won’t let anyone ever hurt you again. I’ve wanted to hold you like this for so long. I can’t breathe when you walk into the room. Am I a bad guy for wanting you? When you didn’t belong to me?”
My entire body stiffens as she repeats my words. My confessions I thought were just whispered into a dark room. Fuck, I thought she was asleep. I would have never said those things out loud. For her to know them makes it real. And real means complicated. It means hurting him.
“You were drunk, Ivy.”
She shakes her head. “I know what you said…...”
“Why would I say those things? Especially to you?” I grind out.
I can see the physical flinch on her face at my words and it pisses me off. The fact I have to be the one to hurt her.
But she steels her expression. “You’re lying.”
I can feel the dirt beneath my bare feet. Feel the light breeze from the fan blowing above one of the stalls. Everything feels intensified.
“Look me in the eye and tell me you didn’t mean it. Tell me you don’t feel this, Maddox.”
My chest pounds as she steps toward me. “Ivy,” I warn.
Please don’t come any closer.
“You can’t say it, can you?” Her voice grows louder as she steps right up to me, her hands landing on my chest.
“Ivy…this is reckless.” I wrap my fingers around her dainty wrists.
“I know,” she whispers.
Her big green eyes peer up at me, and the thin cord that’s kept me at bay for all these years, finally snaps.
Ivy
“Maddox.” His name is on my lips, begging him to do something.
Anything. Tell me there’s nothing between us. Tell me to leave. Take me to bed. Make me forget all the turmoil that this place holds.
Two strides. That’s all it takes before his hands are in my hair, his lips on mine. It’s not gentle. It’s not sweet. It’s frantic, it’s sharp, it’s full of need. Want. And raw hunger for each other. My hands dive into his dark strands, tugging as he lifts me from the ground with ease. My legs wrap around his narrow waist just as he moves, taking us through the open door of the tack room. My back slams into the wall and he groans when I nip at his bottom lip before sucking, before I run my tongue over it to ease the sting.
“Fuck,” he rasps as he rips is mouth away, inching his lips across my jaw.
I shift my hips, causing his hard cock to settle right between my legs. The delicious friction solicitates a moan, and I circle my hips against him.
“Goldie,” he growls, sucking hard on my neck before he slides one hand down to grip my ass. “Please tell me to stop. Tell me we can’t do this.”
I ignore his plea, my mind spinning as I feel his fingers slip inside the hem of my panties beneath my sundress. His callused fingertips travel over my drenched center.
“Soaked,” he whispers in my ear before taking the sensitive lobe between his teeth.
“Maddox please.” My back arches, my nails scrapping against his shoulders, with unhinged breaths.
I need him inside me like I need oxygen. I feel his hands leave me for only a brief moment, the sound of a zipper echoing inside the dim room before he reaches down to slide my panties back to the side. The smell of hay and leather surround us, but the hint of his cologne is what invades my senses. It overpowers me enough to have me not caring about the consequences of what’s about to happen. The head of his bare cock presses against my entrance. His smooth skin warm and slick, and I grab at his shoulders to prepare for the intrusion.
“Words. Tell me you want this.” His tongue swirls along my pulse point.
“I want this,” I admit, my blood rushing at the adrenaline of this moment.
This inevitable moment. The moment I’ve been waiting for. To give myself to him. The moment is too tense for me to mention that small detail. That no man, not even his brother has ever been inside of me.
The second he enters me, my head rolls back, and I cry out his name as he thrusts deep, his forehead dropping to my shoulder. Pain shoots up my spine, and I dig my nails into his skin as he stretches me. His movements are hard, powerful, and my back drives into the wall with every piston of his hips. What began as a dull sting, has now transformed into a building pleasure. Pure and real. I know by the curl of my toes and the way he swells inside of me that this won’t last long. We’ve had years of foreplay, and now, it’s coming to a head. Like a volcano that can no longer withstand the pressure of the heat beneath it.
His lips meet mine again, our hot skin melting together with every thrust.
“Eyes.” The word is whispered against my lips, and I pry open my lids, meeting his deep hazel stare.
“See me.” His nostrils flare. “See who’s making you come,” he says, his thrust deep and full.
I nod just as he rotates, causing enough friction to my clit to have me soaring. My vision blurs, my thighs clench, and my moans bounce off the old wooden beams as I let the euphoria sweep me up. Maddox thrusts again, before his entire body tenses and he roars my name with those eyes still locked on mine.
Our movements turn sluggish, our bodies spent, as he plants lazy kisses on my jaw, then down my neck.
I sigh, my heart rate slowing as he gently lowers me to my feet after slipping out of me with a tenderness completely different than moments ago. The evidence of what we did leaks down my thighs, and in the moment of clarity, fear grips my heart. Maddox steps back, a buzzing sound vibrating on the floor beneath our feet. I move my gaze to the lit up screen as I drop my dress back in place.
There it is. The name flashing across his phone pours a layer of reality over the room.
Brady.
Maddox quickly zips up his jeans before swiping the phone from the floor. Guilt and regret are plastered across his face, and I try my hardest to clamp down the tears. He stares at the name, then moves his eyes to me.
“Ivy...” He shakes his head. “Fuck. I’m sorry. That…”
I reach out, but he backs away.
“That was a mistake.” He runs a hand over his face. The one wearing the mask of betrayal. “I can’t do this. We can’t do this.”
With tears clogging my throat I watch Maddox’s back as he leaves.
He leaves me standing alone in the barn. And he never looked back.