Perspire to Aspire
___________
In the days that follow, thoughts of Evans consume my mind. His infectious laughter echoes in my ears, and his warm smile brightens my thoughts like a sunbeam on a cloudy day. The more I reflect on our time together, the more I realize that despite my initial resistance, something can happen between us.
He doesn’t let me stay in my head for long, because he pops out of nowhere, suggesting we spend more time together. It’s as if a whole new world filled with Evans has opened up to me. Like a social media feed, where once you see only food videos and because you watch a couple of hair videos, now all you see on your feed are hair videos. Before I agreed to go on a date with him, why wasn’t he popping my way every time?
Not that I’m complaining, because as days turn to weeks, Evans and I discover more shared interests and passions, and as usual, conversations flow easily between us.
We share stories, our spirits lifted by the simple joy of being in each other’s company. The barriers I’ve put up start crumbling, and I find myself opening up, letting Evans glimpse the depths of my true self.
*****
Today we are attending an entrepreneurship seminar hosted by the university. It’s one of those things they set up with public speakers who make a living by motivating people to believe in themselves. Usually, you won’t find me anywhere near such gatherings, but today is different. I’m here because of Evans and his passionate speech about making yourself the top priority and building your skills. He’s fully invested in this “perspire to aspire” stuff; he’s even given me a list of self-help books to explore, that’s a conversation for another time.
Linda drove into town to spend the day with her family, dropping me off at the venue where I met up with Evans. As the event concludes, Evans and I stroll back to my apartment building.
I’m relishing my time with him. While he might not be the academic genius Special is, he’s a shrewd businessman. I have a feeling his Igbo heritage plays a role in that.
This budding friendship with Evans is a breath of fresh air, charging me up and filling me with newfound enthusiasm. However, I also feel the need to clear the air and confess a truth that’s a sort of public secret, at least within my circle of friends, about my non-existent love life.
One talk leads to another, and with a wry smile playing on my lips, I can’t help myself. I confess, “You know, I think you’ve got a right to know... About my little crush.”
Evans grins, those puppy-dog eyes fixed on me, his brows furrowing in subtle curiosity. I now refer to them as puppy-dog eyes because that’s the best way to describe how they make me feel.
“Okay, it’s not little. It’s huge.” I chuckle, the audacity of my confession not lost on me. This isn’t something I typically do, but for some reason, it feels right. “It’s something my close friends know about me. And since you’re becoming something like a...” Bestie? “Confidant.”
“A confidant?” Evans says, teasing and amused.
“What?”
“Nothing. I’m honored. That’s all.”
Maybe I’m moving too fast, labeling him when we’ve only just started getting to know each other. Ugh. But the words have slipped out now.
“Come on Fifi. Who’s this crush? Ramsey Noah?”
Haha. With my heart racing, I pout and shake my head vigorously. If only things were that simple.
Evans keeps pace with me. “This should be interesting.”
Oh wow. My cheeks are getting hot. I take a deep breath, the words bubbling up naturally. “It’s someone I’ve known for a while. You know him.”
“Who’s the lucky guy?”
“Special.” Lost in the news I want to share; I don’t bother looking at Evans to see how he receives the information. “He’s... something else, you know?”
I glance at Evans, and he raises an inquisitive eyebrow. He knows exactly who I’m talking about; there’s only one Special on this campus, and he happens to be friends with my brother. I don’t need to spell it out.
“Special, huh? What’s so special about Special?
I chuckle at the pun. “Everything! His smile, his sense of humor, and the way he listens when I talk. He’s the one who encouraged me to continue with this computer science dream. And he’s so intelligent. The total package, really.”
“Sounds like someone has it bad,” Evans teases, playing along. “Does he know?”
I pause, my blush creeping up, and shake my head. “I—I’m not sure.”
Evans nods. “Hmm.”
I try to steer the conversation away from the intensity of my feelings. “It doesn’t really matter right now. He’s in a relationship, and I respect that. You can’t mess with someone else’s happiness, you know?”
“But what if you were in a relationship? Would you let it go if Special came around?”
I haven’t really had time to think about it in that light. “It’s a tough call. I’m pretty loyal, but the heart wants what it wants. Though, I’d like to think I wouldn’t do anything to hurt my partner. What about you? What would you do in a similar situation?”
Evans smirks teasingly. “Ah, you’re turning the tables on me. Well, I believe in honesty. If someone truly makes your heart race, you owe it to yourself and your partner to be honest.”
“So, you’d tell your partner about this mysterious crush?” I catch myself licking my lips as my heart races.
He beams with confidence, and I have to look away to compose myself. “If I ever develop one as intense as yours for Special, you bet I would. Trust and communication, right?”
I can feel my cheeks flush, and I try to make light of the situation. “You’ve got a point there. But, let’s not make it too serious. I believe this thing for Special will go, poof, and become one of those stories.” I don’t want to examine too closely the complicated feelings that come with having a crush.
Evans smiles warmly, and as we approach my apartment gate, he offers his final thought. “Agreed. And who knows, maybe someday Special will reciprocate the crush.”
Haha. When pigs fly. “Who knows? I can’t predict the future.”
He nods, and I can’t help but feel a connection with him that’s growing stronger by the minute.
“Um. Thanks for inviting me to the seminar and for walking me home.”
He nods enthusiastically. “Don’t mention.”
As I unlock my apartment door, my phone rings. It’s Mama Gee. With wicked intentions, I answer the call, planning to share all the “perspire to aspire” tips I learned today, even though I know she might prefer to complain about one family member or employee.
*****
Few weeks later, we go on a mid-semester break, and when classes resume, I am attending night classes and teaching tutorials.
Who would have thought Fiyinfoluwa Rachel Ajayi would ever teach tutorials?
Don’t get me wrong; I help my course mates in class, but this idea of teaching first-year students, that’s all Evans.
I was waiting for him at one of his classes, and I felt proud seeing him manage a class of pre-degree students. He suggested I try it out when I made a joke about it being a power thingy for him and boy, oh boy, I’m loving it.
I think I’m growing increasingly fond of Evans. He has a way of making me feel… special, like I’m the most important person on planet. Add in his gentle nature, coupled with his ability to take a joke—every moment we spend together feels like pure magic. It’s no wonder I’m addicted to his presence, to where I think of him during classes and even after a test!
Speaking of classes, G-Ben has been busy with his final year project, so I see less of him. Or is it because I’m spending more time with Evans?
Spending time with Evans is like… as we spend more time together, something unexpected is happening. There’s a subtle shift in my heart. Emotions I hadn’t foreseen are quietly awakening and I’m intentionally ignoring them.