Chapter 4
COLT
Had it really been four years since I last stood on this beach with Summer Banks?
It felt like yesterday and a lifetime ago all at once.
Memory was a strange and cruel thing. I could still smell her.
Coconut sunscreen and vanilla body lotion.
She always smelled so sweet. Like a warm, delicious dessert.
And that made me think of her taste. What it felt like to touch her. Run my tongue over that tanned skin.
I could still feel the warm press of her against me as we lay tangled together in my bed at the beach house down the shore.
Her laugh. The pillow talk had always been so deep but easy at the same time.
I wondered if anyone else knew her the way I did.
Of course, they did. I wasn’t anyone special.
People knew her far better than I did. I felt so fortunate for the time I did get with her.
When she let me in and shared herself with me.
I had spent four years telling myself I’d moved on. But standing here now, looking at her, I understood what a convincing liar I was. How could anyone move on from her?
Her hair was still damp in thick chunks around her face.
The rash guard and surf shorts clung to her and it brought me right back to the first night I ever laid eyes on her.
Dripping wet, pulling a half-drowned kid from the Pacific, sand on her cheek and aquamarine eyes cutting through the dark.
She looked exactly the same. Maybe better. I hadn’t thought that was possible.
She rolled her eyes when she caught me checking her out. It wasn’t like I was subtle. And to be fair, she’d given me a pretty thorough inspection.
She tilted her head back toward the fire. “Want to come say hi to everyone?”
“Sure,” I said. “I can say hi.”
She turned without another word and started up the sand toward the fire.
I fell into step beside her and tried not to notice the way she moved.
I failed completely. She was barefoot as usual, walking across the sand with no trouble.
I couldn’t help but check out her toned ass.
We were far enough from the group that the music and laughter gave us a small pocket of privacy.
“You look good,” I said, clearly asking for her to throw sand in my eyes.
“Thanks,” she replied without looking at me.
She had never been the type to deflect a compliment with false modesty. She accepted it, owned it, and moved on. I’d always liked that about her.
“How’ve you been?” I asked.
She kept walking, eyes forward. “Better than ever,” she said. “Right up until last night, when a little birdie decided to drop your last name into casual dinner conversation and make all kinds of claims about you showing up for the summer.”
I laughed. I couldn’t help it. “Did you really think I’d stay away forever?”
She stopped walking and turned to face me. Damn. How the hell had I managed to stay away for so long? She was easily the most beautiful woman I’d ever laid eyes on. I was surrounded by beautiful women on the daily, but none of them compared to her effortless beauty. It was just so damn natural.
“Yes,” she said.
Just the one word.
I held her gaze. I hadn’t expected that.
I’d expected there to be some kind of explanation.
She sounded angry. That’s the part I didn’t get.
We both knew what we had been. What it actually was.
I hadn’t made promises I didn’t keep. I hadn’t painted a picture I didn’t deliver.
We were two people who burned bright every summer and then went back to our real lives when the season ended.
That was the understanding. That was always the understanding.
I hadn’t promised her a future and she didn’t seem interested in having one with me.
At least, that was what I’d told myself. Standing here now, with her looking at me like she was trying to decide if she wanted to jab her fingers in my eyes or her knee in my balls made me think I might have misjudged the situation.
“Things ended the way they ended,” I said calmly. “I didn’t pretend it was something it wasn’t. I was never dishonest with you about my life.”
“No,” she agreed. “You weren’t.”
“I got busy. The company needed me. I made choices.”
“You made choices,” she repeated, like she was trying to understand the words. She nodded slowly, not agreeing exactly, just acknowledging. “And now you’re here.”
“And now I’m here.”
She stared at me, sizing me up and passing judgment.
Summer was never one to be open with her feelings.
Back then, I didn’t need her to tell me what she was thinking.
We just kind of moved in the same direction.
There were never any declarations of love or promises about anything.
Hell, we barely made dinner plans. We just were.
But something told me that’s not the way she saw things.
I fucked up but I didn’t know how. I wanted to make it right, though.
I didn’t come back expecting to pick up where we left off.
I really thought she would have been gone.
Now that I was back and she was still around, I didn’t want to be enemies. Was there a chance we could be friends?
“Why?” she asked.
I blinked. “What?”
“Why are you here? And don’t tell me it’s for the tan. Or the margaritas from the Shack. You didn’t fly out here for that.”
“No,” I admitted. “I didn’t.”
I reached for the shirt tucked into my waistband and pulled it on. I wasn’t ashamed of my body, but her gaze was making me feel very naked. Normally, that’d be fine, but Summer had a way of getting right to the heart of anything. I didn’t want to reveal too much.
I opened my mouth to tell her. The cruise port. The vision I’d been carrying around. I wanted to tell her about my big plans for the business I’d been dreaming about for years. Combining my love for the beach with the stuff I’m good at—making money.
“Colt!”
I looked up at the sound of my name. It was strange to be recognized out here. I hadn’t been around in so long, but clearly, some things never changed, including the locals.
Capri was crossing the sand toward us with a White Claw in each hand. She was smiling and looked genuinely happy to see me, which was more than I’d expected given the circumstances. She always had been the more forgiving of the two of them.
“Hey, Capri,” I said.
“Oh, thank God.” She grabbed my arm with her free hand and squeezed it.
“Please, please, please come join us at the fire. Both of you. Together. Right now.” She pressed one of the White Claws into my hand without asking.
“I cannot listen to Bodhi explain his macro split one more time. I will actually lose my mind. It will just leave my body and go somewhere peaceful and I will be a skin sack lying on the sand.”
Summer made a sound that was almost a laugh.
“Bodhi’s here?” I asked.
“Bodhi is always here,” Capri said with a sigh. “He is a permanent fixture of this beach like the sand and the seagulls and the overpriced parking. He’s making people touch his biceps to prove they’re real. Why wouldn’t they be?”
I didn’t give a shit about his biceps. I wanted to talk to Summer. I wanted to ask her how she’d been for real. Was there someone in her life? What was she doing? Did she still live next door?
Capri didn’t wait for either of us to agree. She simply turned and walked back toward the fire assuming we’d follow. We did. Summer drifted a step ahead of me, putting just enough distance between us to make a point without being obvious about it.
There were about thirty people gathered around the fire.
Some were sitting on driftwood logs that had been dragged up years ago and never moved, some standing, drinks in hand.
The music was coming from a Bluetooth speaker balanced on a cooler.
Someone had good taste. Zac Brown took me way back to my youth at Texas bonfires.
The first person to notice me was a guy I vaguely recognized from summers past. Older now, sun weathered, and a little softer around the middle. Time marches on.
“No way,” he said, pointing at me. “Anderson? Colt Anderson?”
“Hey, man.” I shook his hand. I couldn’t pull his name for a full three seconds. Then it landed. “Rick. How are you?”
“Good, good. You back for the summer?”
“Yeah. Just got in today.”
“No kidding.” He clapped me on the shoulder a little harder than necessary, like he was making it clear he was a little less muscular but still tough. It was a guy thing. “Man, it’s been forever. Your family good? Your dad?”
“Good. Everyone’s good.”
That was how the next ten minutes went. A handful of people I half-remembered and some I didn’t recognize at all cycled through the same conversational loop.
How long you been gone, how’s the family, you staying all summer, man it’s good to see you.
Surface stuff. The kind of talk that felt warm enough in the moment but didn’t actually tell you anything about anybody.
Adulting 101: act like you give a shit in the moment but know you’re going to forget it five minutes later.
I was good at it. Years of business dinners and investor meetings had made me fluent in pleasant nothing.
I smiled and answered and kept half my attention on Summer, who had moved to the far side of the fire and was talking to a woman I didn’t recognize.
That’s when I felt eyes on me. Not in a good way.
It felt like being sized up by a predator.
I looked around the group and almost laughed when I spotted Bodhi.
He was standing with one arm resting on the shoulder of some poor guy who clearly just wanted to drink his beer in peace.
He was looking at me the way a dog looks at another dog that just walked into his yard.
Not aggressive. Not yet. He was sizing me up.
The territorial thing was subtle enough that if you weren’t paying attention, you’d miss it.
I didn’t miss it. He was a dog marking his territory and he clearly felt like I was invading his space. Wouldn’t be surprised to learn he’d lifted his leg around the area. We made eye contact. Neither of us flinched.
He was built. I’d give him that. The kind of body that came from a very dedicated relationship with the gym and probably a decent amount of time staring at said body in the mirror.
He was good looking in the obvious way. The kind of face that photographed well and knew it.
His hair was messy but I had a feeling it was intentionally messy.
I held his gaze for a beat, just long enough to let him know I was not intimidated.
And then I watched him look at Summer. It wasn’t subtle.
His whole posture shifted. The look lasted maybe three seconds but it told me everything I needed to know about the history between them and the fact that he was not done with it.
I felt my entire body stiffen. The muscles I had just abused on the extra-long run tensed, threatening to embarrass me with a vicious cramp.
I took a pull from the White Claw Capri had handed me and reminded myself that whatever was or wasn’t happening between Summer and Bodhi was absolutely none of my business.
I had no claim on her. I’d made sure of that, hadn’t I?
I made my choices, as I’d so eloquently put it to her face not ten minutes ago.
I didn’t get to be jealous.
Bodhi broke away from his group and moved toward me. I knew the game. I could play along. I had to remember I was nearly a decade older than the guy. I had far more life experience and had done this dance more than he had.
He extended his hand and I shook it. “Bodhi Finn,” he said.
“Colt Anderson.”
He smiled. “You run?” he asked, nodding at my running shoes.
“Just got in from one.”
“Yeah?” His eyes did a quick sweep of me. Little weird to be scoped out by a guy, but whatever. “What’s your split look like? You doing distance or intervals on the beach?”
I stared at him for a moment, not entirely understanding what he was asking. I ran because I liked to run. It wasn’t like I was training to compete.
“Mostly distance,” I said.
“Smart. Sand running is brutal on the joints if you’re not careful. What are you doing for leg recovery? I just switched to a cold plunge protocol, fifteen minutes post-run, and the difference is insane. Like genuinely insane. You lift?”
“Some.”
“I can tell you’re carrying decent muscle but if you wanted to really optimize, I could walk you through my current program.
I’ve been running a push-pull-legs split with an extra shoulder day and the results speak for themselves.
” He gestured vaguely at his own torso. I nodded but I understood none of what he had just said.
“Yeah, we’ll have to meet up,” I said.
He kept talking. Something about protein timing and the creatine he’d switched to, and on and on. I blanked out and drank the shitty drink in my hand. The only reason I tolerated any of it was because it put me in proximity to Summer.