Chapter 23 - Nate
Waking up to her in my arms feels like I have everything I have ever dreamed of within arm's reach.
The sun plays with the shades of red and bronze in her hair.
Her hair is a beautiful mess across her pillow.
I pull her close and breathe her in; she nuzzles into my chest without waking, and I understand now what I never had with Brielle.
That one thought brings back the ugly truth of yesterday. I resist holding her tighter; I don't want to wake her or ruin this moment. I close my eyes and take in a deep breath.
When I got the call to come in for the meeting, I knew I wasn't going to like it, so I left on Friday night instead of just coming in for the day. I didn't want Tessa to ask questions about my shift in mood, so I just left.
And fuck was I right. Management was prepared, that is for sure, charts, plans, schedules and PR tie-ins. And at the center of it all was her and me.
Reeves snapped and stormed out of the meeting after they started pulling up what Sloane and Brielle were saying online, how that had spiralled into people digging into who Tessa was and anything they could get their hands on about her and her past.
Pictures of her with teammates, with Adam, Chase, even a craftily angled picture of her and Clara's husband that I would have even thought was suspect if I hadn't been there and known that Mason was handing over his baby girl to Tessa, and that is why their bodies were that close.
Reeves called out the marketing team for encouraging this type of behaviour, stating that some of those pictures could have been taken only by people at those private events or by someone working with the press.
He told them to tear up his media consent form for Olivia, then pointedly asked, while staring me down, if anyone had gotten Tessa's consent to be part of 'this shitshow'.
Management backpedalled, saying they did not encourage this behaviour and that they were looking into it. But from the reaction from the other players in the room, we all felt like that was just a line of bullshit. He stormed out, still glaring at me.
After he left, PR dug further into rebuilding the team's image, boosting positive PR, and addressing the still-bad narratives circulating.
That some people speculated Tessa and I were just a phase, and that because I hadn't come out publicly acknowledging our relationship, it could be considered just a summer fling, another notch on my bedpost.
They talked to the team about ensuring that wives, children, and girlfriends with positive public images attend games, charity events, and travel for away games, showing family support and more.
They said it to the team, but I felt like they were telling me what I needed to do in my relationship with Tessa.
And they only confirmed it when they slipped a folder into my hand before I left, with publicity ideas and ways to authentically include her in both my public image and the teams. They dropped a casual reference to the company the guy worked for that Brielle was with, who had now bought two boxes, and that they were expecting them to be in attendance for home games, and how we could counteract that PR, which was also included in my folder.
Some of the guys followed me out, all talking over each other, all saying that I should loop her in. That she should know about this.
And fuck me, that was the plan, but then this fear overtook me, like this irrational fear of losing her.
One I have never felt before, and it terrified me.
We hadn't been together long, and then that opened the fear that we hadn't had the talk; we hadn't discussed exclusivity or what we were doing, and with the pictures swirling in my mind of her and other men, I went dark.
I tried to work out, tried to sweat out the fear, anxiety and dark mood threatening me.
Fuck I was so stupid. She was right to call me out on my shit. How did I let myself spiral like that?
I open my eyes and watch the early morning light play across her features.
The golden colour of her cheekbones that have been kissed by the sun.
Her dash of freckles across her nose and cheeks.
Fuck she is beautiful, and somehow, she is mine.
Somehow, she decided I was worth it to stay for after all the shit from yesterday.
I can't let that happen again. I need to get my head on straight and focus.
She stayed. I can have it all. I can be what my team needs, reconnect with my family, and have Tessa.
The fact that they are all tangled up with my team's PR strategy just makes it more convenient but doesn't lessen how I feel.
The relationship, the life I want to build with this woman, is not because of my team, and that is the difference; she will get used to the attention.
It will all be ok. Because it has to be, I have never had feelings this big, this fast for anyone before, and when I look at Tessa, I can see it all.
My future.
Like she knows I am thinking about her, Tessa starts to wake, and with that, I push it all out of my mind and focus on the woman in my arms wearing one of my old hockey t-shirts and little ass hugging boy shorts.
She stretches a little, wiggles, and moans. All making my dick wake up.
I groan, "Jesus, Tessa, you are waking up the beast."
Her eyes open, and I suck in a breath. God, she is beautiful, just like this, hair wild, makeup free. She gives me a blinding smile, like yesterday didn't happen, like I didn't fuck up, like the chance of me losing her isn't still there beneath the surface.
When she speaks, it's husky and fucking hot, "I could get used to waking up to you looking at me like that."
That brings a smile to my mouth, "Ya, I could get used to waking up with my girlfriend in my bed."
"Girlfriend," Tessa singsongs in a very girly way that is so unlike her, like she's letting me see a softness in her. Something just for me, for us.
I can't help myself, I roll her to her back and nestle between her legs. Tessa laughs, "Well, I would say the beast is awake, Boyfriend."
Resting my weight on my forearms, I rub my face in her hair and nuzzle her neck. Like I can't help myself, like I can't get close enough. She giggles.
With my face still buried in her neck, I say, "You know, with the pre-season training starting soon, I will have to spend more time in the city, and then most of my time here once the games begin.
If you lived here with me, you would be able to wake up with me a lot more, and I wouldn't miss you so much. "
Tessa laughs, and the sound is like magic, "Nate, you are crazy. I am not moving in with you."
I kiss behind her ear, and nip her earlobe, and whisper, "What about if I just buy you things to have here?"
Tessa laughs again, like I am making a joke or am crazy, and maybe she is right.
But it is her who makes me feel this way, "What things, Nate?
I have things. I don't need you to buy me stuff.
We can talk about it, and if it makes sense, I can leave a bag here or something. Where is this coming from?"
I kiss her softly, then pull back a little to see her eyes.
"I screwed up yesterday, Tessa, and I don't want to lose you.
I wasn't lying when I told you how I feel about you.
I know this might seem fast. But you feel like home to me, and I want that feeling here, always.
My schedule is about to get hectic. Some days, I might only get a few hours to see you in the day, maybe less.
I can't go from full access to not seeing you at all.
I know you are busy too, but I think your schedule calms down a bit as mine picks up.
I just want us to keep moving forward, even with my crazy schedule and life. "
The smile she gives me is soft but full of feeling. "Nate, I am right here. We fought; it wasn't great. It was actually pretty shit. But I am still here."
I bite her collar bone, and she lets out a soft moan that makes my dick jump and pulls a whimper from her. "Please..." I plead.
She laughs, and I capture her lips for another kiss. When I pull back and kiss her neck, she sighs and says, "Ok, if it means this much to you, I can leave things here."
I shift my weight and trail one hand up her shirt. "Just let me spoil you, Tessa. Let me have a closet for you here. Let me take care of you, baby. That way, no matter where you are, if you want to come here, you can. I will have everything you need."
"Nate," she whimpers, as my hand continues to roam, all the way to the curve under her breast. I slow down and hold my hand there, giving her a moment to catch up, and realize where my hand is.
She lifts her hips, grinding into me, giving me permission to keep exploring. "I don't need your money or gifts."
I press a hard kiss to her soft, plump lips and then bite the bottom one, saying, "I know, Tess, I know you don't see me for what I can give you, it makes me want to spoil you more."
She moans and grinds into me some more, my dick straining to get to where he wants to go, "I'm not someone who needs to be spoiled. "
I squeeze her perfect breast, "Just let me, Tessa."
Our breaths have become heavier as we stare at each other for a moment, and then she sighs and nods.
Fuck, Yes! I have never been more excited about spending my money on someone before in my life.
I pull back a bit, taking her in; her eyes are wide, and she has a flush to her cheeks. "Is this ok, I know we haven't..."
She pulls me back to her, "I want this, Nate, I want you. You have been the dirty star in my dreams lately."
Fuck, this woman is everything. "That is something. You have been in all of mine, too. The things I want to do to you, Tessa."
A wicked look passes over her face, and she smiles, darting her tongue out to lick my bottom lip, and says, "Show me."