12. July 5th
Angie
Rafael gave me three more orgasms with his mouth and fingers last night. I have no idea how I’m awake already—I should be zonked out, but if anything, all those orgasms have stirred me awake. I need more. It seems what he did to me last night only poked the horny bear.
This can”t be good.
Raf is sound asleep behind me as we lay on our sides. I’m reading my Kindle because I’ve been awake for a little while but didn’t want to disturb him. The temperature actually dropped last night and—oh no, would you look at that?—the blanket is still on the floor folded up next to the air mattress. When it got a little too chilly, Raf slowly snuggled into me, rendering the blanket useless.
A low gasp whooshes over my ear. “What are you reading?” His morning voice is like gravel as he peers over my shoulder and pulls me closer, nudging his morning wood into my backside.
I guess he is awake. “A why choose dark romance.”
“How many dudes are fucking her right now?”
I smile. “Six.”
He leans in a little closer to read, “...Drake held his gun to my head as he fucked my throat and Lazzaro entered my ass once again. You want my knife, hellcat?… Jesus Christ, Ang,” he chuckles. “This stuff really gets you going, huh?”
I snort. “Everything gets me going these days.”
“Yeah, but you’ve always had a thing for these books. How many do you read in a year?”
I feign shock. “That’s private. A lady never tells.”
It’s his turn to snort. “I know what color menstrual cup you wear, how many sexual partners you’ve had, and I watched you writhe in a creek yesterday. But knowing how many dirty books you read in a year? That crosses a line?”
“I’m glad you understand.”
Rafael hums his amusement before a lingering pause settles between us. “So,” he drawls. “I meant what I said last night, Ang. I want to be able to take care of your needs in this way.”
“You’re sure?” I ask, setting down my Kindle and turning to my back as he leans on one arm to look down at me.
“Only if you are.”
There’s no one I trust more than Rafael. He’s a loyal friend, and he clearly knows his way around a woman’s body, so why wouldn’t I take this opportunity?
Oh, yeah.
Because for the better part of two decades he’s given me unwanted butterflies. Because he said he wanted to kiss me all those years ago. If I want to protect my heart from his commitment-less lifestyle while getting my primal urges taken care of, then we’re going to need boundaries.
“We should set some rules.”
“What were you thinking?” he asks, pushing a lock of hair away from my face. I’m sure I look like the picture of a debauched wilderness queen.
“I think we should only do this for the duration of my pregnancy.”
His gaze becomes unfocused for a moment before nodding. “Yeah. That sounds fair.”
“That should help us keep things casual,” I say with the confidence born from a prayer.
“Okay. I have a rule I’d like to submit,” he says.
“Shoot.”
“No one else. Neither of us sleep with anyone else during this time.”
Oh god, I don’t know about this one. On the one hand, I love this exclusivity aspect. All his attention? Of course I want that. But on the other hand…
“I don’t know about that, Raf,” I sigh. “I think if we leave this open, it’ll help us make a clean break when it’s over, you know?”
Furrowing his dark eyebrows, he smirks. “Don’t think I can keep up with you?”
“Please,” I roll my eyes. “Cora has two husbands and even they have to take shifts.”
“I’ll redact my rule, but I will take it as a personal challenge.”
“Speaking of personal,” I drawl. “When was the last time you were tested?”
“Pretty recently. I’m clear. It was after Charles. There hasn’t been anyone since. Why? You want it bare?”
“I’m already pregnant, so yeah, I wanna seize this opportunity.”
“Fuck,” he smiles then adjusts himself under the sheet. “Just the thought of it...”
A giggle escapes me as desire creeps into my belly. “I was tested when I was at the hospital last. I’m clear too.”
I lose track of Rafael’s devilish grin when he lowers himself to kiss my neck. “We,” I breathe. “We should talk about other things. Like what we want and what we don’t.”
He kisses up the column of my neck. “I already have a BDSM limits document filled out.”
“You do? I didn’t know you were into that. I’ve always…wanted to explore that,” I pant.
When he pulls his mouth off and stares at me with round eyes, I want to protest. “Really?”
“Yeah. I’ve only read about these things or listened to erotic audios,” I admit. “But I’ve never felt comfortable enough with a sexual partner to ask.”
“But you have an idea of what you like?”
“Oh buddy, I have more than an idea.”
“I am very interested to know. Do you want me to send you a blank version of the limits form I have?”
“Yes please,” I smile, as those butterflies start multiplying.
He grabs his phone from the ground and taps away. “There. Sent you a blank and mine.” He pushes up and pulls on a pair of old rugby shorts over his boxer briefs. “Why don’t you relax and read them over while I make breakfast.”
“Okay,” I say, snuggling into the bed a little deeper. “So we’re doing it, huh? Just two best friends, sharing our kinks with each other?”
“Totally normal stuff,” he grins, then ducks to exit the tent.
Opening his filled-out form, I eagerly read every word and his interest level for each activity. We seem to share a lot of interests, but one thing in particular catches my eye.
Switch.
The pounding in my heart catches up to the throbbing ache in my pussy. He’s a switch—which means he likes to dominate, and he likes to submit.
Fuck yes.
The thought of Rafael dominating me… Oh my god. I’d be drunk with lust. But the reverse is just as alluring. Him submitting to me? I need that.
Reading further down the document, I start to wonder if he’d let me… Bingo. That’s happening.
This is fascinating. It’s like knocking down a wall in a home you’ve lived in all your life and discovering a secret room—or a kinky sex dungeon.
When I get to the end of his list, I realize some things weren’t covered. I call out to him from my comfy spot. “Hey, Raf? Would you be into financial domination?”
He chuckles. “I don’t know. Why?”
“I once read about a Leprechaun king who was into that. It was hot.”
“Your mind is a fascinating and deranged place, you know that Ang?”
“That’s not a no,” I tease.
“Let’s table that.”
By the time we’re sitting for breakfast, perched back on our downed tree next to the water, I’ve completed about a third of my own form, but I notice myself holding back with my real answers and interest levels. Debating over how much of my desires I should show Rafael.
When would I ever get the chance to act out my real desires? What if I end up marrying someone who only likes vanilla sex? There’s nothing wrong with vanilla sex—I enjoy it immensely too—but I want to explore this part of me that I’ve only been able to experience in Romancelandia.
“How far did you get with your form?” he asks before taking a bite of his apple.
“Not too far,” I drawl.
“Is something the matter?”
I pause. “I want to be truthful with what I share with you, but I don’t want you to think I’m weird.”
“That ship sailed long ago, Ang. You are weird and I like it.”
I chuckle. “Yeah, but there’s a difference between Angie reads monster romance and was part of the underwater robotics club in high school, and Angie likes to be stalked and fucked into the dirt.”
Rafael’s eyes bug out, but he smiles. “Do you want to be stalked and fucked into the dirt?”
I play with my food. “Maybe.”
“I’m totally down for that,” he says eagerly.
“Okay,” I giggle, giddiness bubbling inside me. “I’ll be as truthful as I can, but I was thinking, I don’t know when I’ll be able to be in a situation like this again, where I can explore my interests like this. So, that’s what I’d really like to do. Explore those things I”ve always wanted—within your limits too, of course.”
“I’m glad you trust me enough to do this. Unless I have a hard limit, I promise I’ll only be supportive of your desires. There will be no kink-shaming between us.”
“Okay,” I smile. “So… I couldn’t help noticing you had a high interest in primal domination.”