Chapter 17
I stared at my phone, knowing that what I was about to do would throw me headlong into the past—and that was my choice. I was the one seeking him out this time. With a deep breath, I hit the call button. The phone rang twice, and then connected.
“Hello?” Garrett’s voice brought back an instant flood of emotion, and I bit down on my lip, reminding myself of Blaze’s words. He could be dangerous.
“Hey, it’s Beth,” I began, closing the door of my childhood room. It had been turned into a guest bedroom but being on the phone with Garrett within its four walls almost felt like de ja vu. “I was wondering if we could talk again.”
He was silent for a few beats. “How did you get this number?”
I frowned. “You gave it to me.”
“I watched you throw it away.” His tone was flat, almost monotone. “So, I gotta say, I’m surprised you’re calling me—and trying to run over people, apparently.” The influx in his voice brought a small smile to my face.
“For the record, I didn’t try to run him over, but where are you? I can come to you.”
“Uh, home. You probably don’t know where that is though.” He stumbled over his words, and I couldn’t tell if he was drinking or nervous for whatever reason. “I’ll send you the address.”
I ran my hands down the front of my jeans. “Maybe we should meet somewhere in public.”
“Why? I mean, I can come to your place? Would that be better for you?”
“No,” I said quickly, thinking of Blaze, who was somewhere on the ranch. The subject of me speaking with Garrett hadn’t been brought up again since the moment on the porch, and while I didn’t know Blaze all that well still, I couldn’t see him satisfied with being a bystander.
“What do you want to do then?” Garrett’s voice was tinged with exasperation. “We can just talk on the phone, if that’s what you’re more comfortable with.”
“I…” My voice trailed off as I sighed. “I’ll just come over. Text me the address.” With that, I hung up, tossing my phone down on the bed. It immediately pinged with a text message, and I flipped it over, reading off the unfamiliar information.
I left the phone on the bed while I changed, trying to decide what to wear. I ended up choosing a pair of dark wash jeans and a black T-shirt, deciding casual was a better idea. The last thing I wanted him to think was that I was… interested. Though, that hadn’t come up yet. Sure, there was admission of having loved each other, but that was it.
And that was past tense.
I threw on a pair of my tennis shoes, smoothed out my hair, and headed downstairs, scanning the area for annoying cowboys as I hit the bottom floor. Much to my relief, no one was around—not even my mom. I slipped out of the house and this time, went for my black SUV instead of the old truck. I wanted to quietly exit the ranch, not draw attention to my leaving.
The lights of the arena cast an eerie glow across the yard as I popped open the driver’s side door, and for a moment, I wondered why they were on, given that the riding area was empty. However, as I stood a little longer, I heard laughter coming from the barn. Glancing down at my watch to see it was nearly nine-thirty, I took a deep breath, and climbed in my car.
Thankfully, the drive to Garrett’s house only took about ten minutes, and that was taking main roads only. It would’ve been faster to cut across on the backroads, but something in my gut was telling me that was a bad idea for whatever reason.
I pulled into the gravel driveway, my headlights shining across a well-kept one-story cabin. It wasn’t necessarily impressive, but the fact that the yard was mowed, and the place was taken care of surprised me for whatever reason. I figured that he would be too busy living up to his reputation for that. The porch light illuminated the front, and as soon as I took in the small sitting area, Garrett was stepping outside.
My heart beat wildly in my chest as I took in the sight of him, wearing an old pair of jeans and T-shirt. He didn’t have a hat on, which left my mind running back to all the times I had ran my fingers through his dark hair, thinking I’d never touch another man—never mind marry one.
“You got here quick,” Garrett said to me as soon as I swung open my driver’s side door. “Guess your fancy Lexus sprouted wings.”
I shrugged, climbing out and immediately wrapping my arms around myself. “It’s a lot colder than I thought it was. ”
He eyed me from where he stood, leaning against the knotted cedar railing. “It’s October, so the nights are cool, and the days are hot. But you know that.”
“Yeah,” I dropped my gaze as I walked from the carport area to the front porch steps. There was gravel the entire way, and the only sound between us was the rocks crunching under my feet. However, I could feel his eyes on me, making my head light and my face hot.
“We can go inside if you’re cold,” he finally said, as I made it to the porch. “Whatever you wanna do, Beth.”
I met his gray eyes, noticing their clarity as they scrutinized me. “Um, maybe not. I don’t know.”
“Okay… You want a jacket then?”
“Sure,” I told him, my mouth dry as I spoke. “Maybe something to drink, too?”
He nodded, slipping past me to the front door. As he opened it, I caught a glimpse of inside, and while it wasn’t quite as clean cut as the outside, what I could see was still surprisingly nice. There was a warm glow casting through the house, and I could just see the back of a nice dark brown leather couch. I stared as the door closed behind him, and then turned my gaze to the front yard.
It wasn’t large, per say, but the house set a few hundred feet back from the road. There were plenty of oak trees, but the view was still clear and if you knew what you were looking for, you could maybe make out the cabin when driving by. My phone buzzed in my pocket then, and I pulled it out, seeing a text from my mom.
Mom: Where did you go?
I glanced back at Garrett’s door, and then down at the phone. Carefully, I typed out a message, hoping that she wouldn’t dig any deeper.
Me: I just needed to clear my head. I’ll be back soon. I promise.
As soon as the message sent, the front door creaked open. Garrett held a black jacket and bottle of water, and then used the back of his boot to close the storm door. He held both out to me, a cautious expression on his face—like if he came closer than a few feet, I might attack him.
“Here.” He gave me a half-smile. “Problems solved.”
“Thanks,” I took the jacket first, sliding my arms into the sleeves and bunching them up around my wrists. In all reality, the thing swallowed me, and the scent of leather and sandalwood enveloped my senses as soon as I had pulled it around my body. It was familiar in a way that was almost comforting. I guess some things didn’t change.
Garrett watched me in silence, and as soon as I took the water from him, he went back to where he had been, putting more distance between us as he leaned on the railing. “So…” He folded his arms across his chest. “Why are you here, Elizabeth?”
I met his gaze as he used my full name, something he had done when we had been close. “I was hoping we could talk.”
“And that’s what we’re doing, isn’t it? Awkwardly talking.”
“It’s not that awkward,” I reasoned, cracking open the water. “It’s just been a long time since we’ve seen each other. We’re almost strangers.”
“Almost.” His gaze was charged, holding mine with an endearment in his eyes. “But not quite, huh? Funny how that works. I thought that’s how it’d be when I saw you again— if I ever did.”
“You thought we’d be strangers?”
“Yeah,” he nodded, running his hand across the dark stubble on his jaw. “But it’s hard to be strangers with someone whose secrets are burned in your head.”
I caught my breath. “They were just kid secrets.”
“Nothing about our secret was childish,” Garrett said, chuckling. “The only thing childish was the way I handled us. We went behind Sam’s back for over a year. Started at Halloween your junior year. You were the tag along to the party Sam had dragged me to. You were some kind of discreet vampire, and I didn’t even dress up.” He spoke with nostalgia in his voice, his eyes looking past me to the trees, as if he was seeing a film play in front of his eyes. “You said you didn’t have any friends there, and I told you, you were right. I’d never be able to just be your friend. Then I kissed you.” He let out a chuckle, but it faded to a somber expression.
My mind flashed to that night, the way I had felt when his lips had met mine, tinged with the taste of alcohol, as he’d pinned me up against the side of Ty Miller’s house. I shouldn’t have been there. I was in high school, and the party had been mostly graduates, going to the college in the town across county line. But Sam had insisted, lying to my parents about what kind of party it was. I was lucky Garrett had been there, watching over me while my brother drank himself stupid, as per usual.
Garrett’s eyes flickered back to mine when I hadn’t said anything. “But that’s not why you’re here, is it? You don’t want to talk about that part of the past.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat, emotions welling up in my eyes. “It just seems moot to discuss something that happened so long ago.”
“Yeah, but you know what’s crazy?” He dropped his eyes to his hands for a moment before looking back up to me. “You never even said goodbye. You jetted out of this place before I could get to you, to tell you how sorry I was for what happened. I lost my best friend, and then I lost you.”
“I had to leave,” I reasoned, fisting the inside sleeves of his jacket. “The rumors started, and I couldn’t even remember what happened. I just knew we wrecked, and you never took a test to check your alcohol levels. That’s what everyone was saying, and then the fight… Everyone kept talking about the fight. You beat him up so bad?—”
“Because he called you a slut for sleeping with me,” Garrett snapped, his face suddenly full of fire. “I had full intentions of marrying you someday, I told you over and over.”
“Yeah, but you wouldn’t even tell me you loved me,” I laughed, but it was chalked full of heartache. “And that’s what we fought about that night. I told you I couldn’t do it anymore.”
“And I told you I loved you.” He looked away from me, his voice straining. “I told you as we argued about putting Sam in the backseat. You didn’t want to sit with me.”
My eyes widened, lost memories trying to return at his words. “I don’t remember that.”
“Your dad told me you didn’t really remember anything from that night.” Garrett ran his hand down one of the cedar posts. “But I thought it was because you didn’t want them to know about us.”
I shook my head. “I think my mom knew.”
“My dad sure did,” he chuckled. “I lived and breathed you, Beth. You’re the only reason I stayed in this town when I turned eighteen. I took a year off to work at the shop, and when it was up, I couldn’t bring myself to go. And here I am, sixteen years later, still here, scared to death that if I leave, I’ll never have the chance to see you again. ”
The way he was just recalling history, like I wasn’t there, ripped at my emotions—but I swallowed it. “There’s the internet, you know.”
“Yeah,” he snorted. “I didn’t want to see you and your big fancy lawyer husband. It reminded me of everything I couldn’t be.”
“He never cared about me,” I said. “He saw what I could do for him, and I was so messed up over what happened… He swooped in and took advantage. I mean, it took me years and some therapy before I understood his narcissism, but when I did, it was all clear.”
“I’m sorry.” As he said the words, a pair of headlights lit up the road through the trees. His eyes followed them, and then bounced back to me. “It’s getting late.”
I glanced down at my smartwatch. “It’s only ten-thirty. You’re usually out all night.”
“Yeah, not anymore,” he chuckled. “Took one look at you, and suddenly it doesn’t hit the spot anymore. What did you want to talk about?”
I met his gaze, unable to conjure up the hard questions about the night Sarah was murdered. Every time I was around him, I just went backwards, desperate to be seventeen again—before everything happened.
Garrett shook his head and pushed off the porch railing. “For someone who wanted to talk, you’re not doing much of it. You used to never stop.”
“I’m sorry,” I muttered as he closed the distance between us.
He lifted my chin gently, bringing us closer than we’d been in years. “Then let me just take you home, Beth. You can come back and get your car tomorrow, give me another reason to see you. ”
My heart pounded in my ears as his fingers remained warm against my face, and my lower lip trembled as I searched his gaze. There should’ve been alarms blaring in my head. He was potentially dangerous, right? But before I thought twice, I was on my tiptoes and he met me halfway, our mouths meeting in a daze.
He threaded his fingers through my hair as I parted my lips for him, deepening our kiss. And for a moment, I let the nostalgia and longing for what once was, win. I was suddenly seventeen again, Garrett nineteen, and we were young, stupid, and betting on a forever that would never happen for us. However, for a split second, my heart gave me reason to think maybe it wasn’t all lost… But as quickly as it came, it left—in the worst way.
We were lit up, blinding headlights pouring across the porch. Out of reflex, I pushed him away, and he stumbled back, the two of us staring at each other with wide eyes for a second and then turning our attention to whoever had just caught us.