Chapter 16 - Henry #4
His eyes dropped, and he faceplanted back into my neck and groaned. “Sorry, that wasn’t…I didn’t mean…”
Oh. I’d kinda hoped he did mean. But maybe he had, and now he was just embarrassed and backtracking?
I rubbed between his shoulder blades, trying to soothe both of us with the motion.
Should I speak up? My anxious brain shouted a big No!
, reminding me of how embarrassing it would be to lay it out there and have him politely let me down, but the rest of me, the part with emotional intelligence, maintained that yes, he had meant something by what he said.
I bit my lip and thought for a long moment before speaking.
“Being yours would be nice.” Ok, so it wasn’t a ringing declaration, but it was as far as I could bring myself to go right now.
He stilled on top of me, legs and arms going tense. “It would?”
Unable to help myself, I kissed his temple.
“It would. And I mean, I know we’re not…
and it isn’t…” Great, now I was the one stammering.
I stopped and gathered myself, then tried again.
“I know we’re kind of caught up in this weird circumstance.
But also I feel like there’s something here, with you and me.
I mean…” I tightened my legs around him.
“The sex is hot as hell. But also I just like hanging out and talking to you. And you like my cats.”
For some reason, it was the mention of the cats that got him to relax and lift his head. He met my eyes again and smiled. “And you like mine.”
“I do.” I pecked a light kiss on his lips. “Sounds like compatibility to me.”
He sighed into my mouth. “I don’t…I’m not that good at relationships. Guys get bored of me, I think? Or annoyed with me. Or both.”
That brought a frown to my face. Who had made him feel that way? “You’re not boring or annoying.”
He gave me a skeptical look but said nothing.
“Ok,” I allowed, “you have your moments, just like anyone else. Just like me. But overall I wouldn’t say you’re a boring person or an annoying one.
You’re fun and smart and…” I fumbled for the right words.
“...and you make me happy when I get to spend time with you,” I finally finished with an awkward shrug.
“And besides, you’re talking to the guy who’s an anxious wreck ninety percent of the time, whose last relationship ended because his ex fucked another guy in his bed and then told him he wasn’t good enough.
You want to argue about who’s the bad choice in this relationship?
I will give you a helluva run for your money. ”
“Relationship?”
I froze. Had I said that? Great job, Hen, way to jump the gun. “Um. I mean, not that I’m claiming we have a relationship when we don’t. I just meant that, like, um, interpersonal relationship.”
To my surprise, Jamison nuzzled into the crook of my neck instead of pulling back at my awkward verbal fumblings. “It would be nice if it was a relationship,” he mumbled into my skin, just muffled enough that I wasn’t positive I’d heard him right.
I wedged my hand under his chin and tipped it up to force him to look at me. “What did you say?” His lashes fluttered closed defensively, and I gripped his chin a little more firmly. “Jamison.”
He opened his eyes and gave me a sulky look. “I said it would be nice if it was a relationship,” he repeated, tipping his chin challengingly. “But you don’t have to -”
I kissed him before he could go any further. We were obviously both gun-shy of coming out and saying it, but just as obviously, we were both interested. “I want it to be a relationship,” I told him, pulling back from the kiss. “If you do.”
Phew, somehow those words had come out without stuttering or the urge to backtrack anxiously. Much. I clenched my jaw shut before I could reflexively offer him an out.
His eyes widened, and I wondered what was going through his mind. But then his tongue was in my mouth and I forgot to wonder anymore. “I do,” he whispered into my mouth. “I really do. Can we?”
I flicked my tongue against his and pulled back enough to speak clearly. “Jamison Duschene,” I said, then pecked him again. “Will you go on a date with me?”
“Yes,” he said immediately.
“Will you be exclusive with me?”
“Definitely.”
It felt like there needed to be a third question in here to make it “official”, and I mentally fumbled around for what else to ask.
One thing jumped to mind, but maybe it was a step too far?
Before I could completely talk myself out of it, I forged ahead.
“We’ve both been tested within an inch of our lives.
Maybe we could…um…wannagobare?” I blurted.
He looked blank for a moment, clearly mentally deciphering my run-together words, and then understanding dawned on his face. “Promise we’re exclusive?” he asked.
I nodded. “No one else wanted or needed. Just you.” I had never been a cheater, but after what Ramsey did to me? Absolutely not. As long as I was with Jamison, Jamison would be all I needed. “Just you,” I said again, more softly this time, palming his cheek.
He nuzzled into my touch. “No condoms. Holy shit, I get to feel your cum drip out of me while sober?”
My dick and heart both lurched at that. Holy shit, indeed. I moved my hand from his face to his back and lifted my other arm to wrap it around him until I had him in a bear hug. And then I squeezed until he squeaked. “Thank you.”
“For fucking you bare?” he teased, then blew a raspberry into my neck. “No problem. Anytime.”
I gave him another squeeze, this time wrapping my legs around him too until I had him cocooned.
“For saying yes. I know we got a bad start, and there’s still that little bit of uncertainty about the last test, and I know I’m not the smoothest guy and I get anxious and my cat - cats - can be annoying, and I don’t cook that well, and -”
“Dude.” He nipped the skin of my neck, not hard enough to leave another mark but hard enough to distract me from my little rundown of my bad qualities.
“You’re awesome, and I don’t like hearing people insult my boyfriend.
” He paused, lifting his head to meet my eyes.
“Are we calling each other that? ‘Boyfriend’?”
Holy shit, I had a boyfriend. How had one of my dumbest life decisions - drunk, unprotected sex - brought me here to this happy moment?
Who the fuck knew, but I was going to take it and run with it.
“I like ‘boyfriend’,” I told him. “Unless you prefer ‘partner’ or something else. Or -” Oh, but what if…
“- or maybe you don’t want to tell people? ” I asked hesitantly.
He shook his head immediately and firmly.
“Fuck that. I’m telling people. I want my sister to know I landed the guy who’s so good with his hands.
” He leered at me theatrically. “And I want to be able to tell people I’m taken, by a good guy.
In fact…” He threw his weight to the side, leaning off me and then off the bed to reach for his pants. “I’m texting Charlie now to brag.”
Moving quickly, I gripped his hips to keep him from overbalancing and sliding face-first off the bed. “Whoa. Careful.”
Relying on my grip, he came up with his phone in one hand and his jeans in the other, then tossed the jeans back on the floor. “It was fine, you had me.”
There was something meaningful in the way he said that, or at least so it seemed to me.
I squeezed my hands on his hips as he slithered back on top of me.
“I definitely have you. But…” I winced. “Can we maybe wait to call people until we’ve put our pants back on?
What if you accidentally hit the video call button? ”
Jamison furrowed his brows and frowned, looking down at his phone. “Well, I was just going to text her, but I guess…” He set the phone on the bedside table and settled back onto me. “There’s time to do that later.” A quick kiss to my left pec. “I kinda want to cuddle now.”
I could get behind that. I drew my hands up from his hips to his mid-back and gave him a solid hug. “I like cuddling.”
His still-damp dick was nestled against my hip, and there was something comforting about the sensation. I sighed contentedly and he kissed my newly-acquired hickey. “So, boyfriend?” he said musingly after a few seconds.
“Hmm?”
“What are we gonna do for our first date?”
Oh, shit. First dates were a big deal, what were we going to do?
Should I take him to a nice restaurant? A movie?
It had been a long time since I went on a date, and even then they had been more like hang-outs than romantic interludes.
Ramsey had never been a hearts and flowers type.
I wanted to impress Jamison, to make him want to stay with me.
What kind of date communicated that? Shit, I needed to talk to Jamal. He’d have some good ideas.
I must have been quiet for too long, because Jamison picked his head up and met my wide eyes. “Hey, I wasn’t trying to pressure you. We don’t have to go on a date-date. We can just hang out.”
“No!” I said quickly. “I want to…I mean, you deserve…” I bit my lip. “But maybe it’s better if people don’t see you with my awkwardness.”
“No.” He pinched my side playfully. “Nope, we’re not doing that.
I like your awkwardness - which, by the way, isn’t nearly as awkward as you think it is,” he added before I could speak, “and I think we’d have fun going out and doing something.
But I also like just hanging out with you and the cats, at your place or mine.
And I’d love to watch you work sometime.
I’m curious about how you do the…” He waved a hand helplessly. “...wood. Stuff. Wood stuff.”
Heh. Wood stuff. No one had ever described my work quite like that. “Sorry,” I said. “I just don’t really know how to date. Like, date date.”
Cocking his head to the side, he pondered that.
“Why don’t you let me plan our first date, and it can be a surprise for you?
Within reason,” he said before I could panic.
“I’m not going to, like, whisk you away to Antarctica or make you go water skiing with no warning or training. Just something low-key and fun.”
I considered that for a moment. Did I trust him enough to let him surprise me? Yes, the answer came to me after a few seconds. Jamison had yet to do anything I didn’t want, or even to push me unduly. I could trust him with this. I nodded. “Okay. Yeah.”
He grinned. “Awesome. You’re mine and I get to plan a date. And I just had earth-shattering sex. This is the best day ever.”
I couldn’t help but return his smile. “I bet I can make it better: wanna go pet some cats?”
With an excited noise, he scrambled up to his knees, almost nailing me in the balls but thankfully missing at the last second. “Cats!”
I couldn’t help but laugh at his excitement. “You have your own cats now, you know. You can pet them any time you want.”
He was already off the bed and shimmying into his pants, apparently too eager to bother with finding his underwear since he was now going commando. “Yeah but these are bonus cats. Gotta pet them all.”
Hey, fair enough. I rolled off the bed and reached for my boxer-briefs. “I’ll even let you feed them.”
He squealed, I rolled my eyes, and we spent the rest of the evening loving on my cats.