11. December 11th
December 11th
Scott
This morning I awoke to a warm soft body curled up in my arms on the couch. I’ve never been more glad I let my boys convince me into getting the most expensive couch that is also the most comfortable.
The only problem is, I'm woken up because I sense someone staring at me, and despite my hope that it's Lorelei, I open my eyes to find Keith and Jason staring with grins on their faces.
How wonderful, right after I told her I didn’t have nosy daughters at my house, it turns out I have nosy sons.
“Well good morning, Father. It seems you took advantage of that snow storm last night,” Jason winks at me.
“Could you two please go?” I plead with them both while trying not to wake the sleeping beauty in my arms.
“Nope. Not a chance Pops,” Keith says popping the p, standing with a shit eating grin on his face, one that is there often.
“Scott, who are you - Oh.” Lorelei notices that we have company. “I see you don’t have nosy daughters. But your sons might be debatable.” She narrows her eyes at them but then laughs, showing them her playful personality that she has with her daughters too.
“Ooh, Dad. We like her,” Keith says, taking a seat down next to Lorelei. “Hi, I’m Keith, and this is Jason. We’ve heard so much about you but we’ve not been allowed to meet you officially.” He finishes shaking her hand, and looks at me. “Why is that, Father?”
I close my eyes, hoping for some peace from these two. “Seriously, boys. Please go. Next time you run into Lorelei in town you are welcome to go talk to her, but now is not the time.” I groan at their ability to still have the worst timing ever.
“No can do Pops. Gotta talk to you. But we can give you two a few moments.” Thankfully they walk out to the kitchen and I hear them fighting over who gets coffee first. My boys may be grown now, but they still annoy each other as much as when they were little.
“God bless whoever those boys settle down with.” I shake my head while the commotion in the kitchen gets louder.
Lorelei looks up to me and kisses my cheek. She asks about borrowing some sweatpants and a shirt so she can shower. I get her set up and head to the kitchen.
“Boys, was all that necessary?” I ask as I pull out a mug of coffee for myself.
“Oh, yes, it most certainly was,” they respond in unison, and I shake my head.
Her daughters are the same way, and they’re more mature than my two. I guess it could have been so much worse.
"Is Lorelei coming down?”
“No, she is going to shower,” I answer Keith.
“Oh good. Listen Dad, Keith and I have something to tell you. I think you should sit down.” Jason pushes a chair out with his foot.
“You mean that your mother is back in town for the foreseeable future?” I say, shocking both of them.
“What? How did you know that?” Jason's eyes widen.
I explain everything that happened the other day at the store with Mrs. Smith and Susan. They told me that she showed up at their doorstep without telling them, or giving them a warning. She and her boyfriend broke up, and she isn’t sure if she still wants to live so far from them. So she is staying with them until she decides what to do. So it appears that she is in fact back. Whether or not it's for good has yet to be determined.
“Hey boys, any coffee left over for me?” Lorelei appears in the kitchen.
“Of course. I’ll get you a fresh cup. You sit down.” I get up to get her a cup of coffee but instead of sitting she is in the kitchen pulling out things to make breakfast. “What are you doing, beautiful?”
“I’m making you boys some breakfast. Is that not why children show up at home?” She winks at my boys.
“We love breakfast, Mrs. Harper,” Jason says eagerly without missing a beat. And with that Lorelei is cooking breakfast for me and my boys.
A sight that I could get used to.
“Well since you’re here, and it snowed last night, I think today’s activity should be building a snowman. What do you think?” I ask Lorelei as we are cleaning up dishes. Of course the boys excused themselves before clean up, and ran out claiming they have errands to run. I’d like to say I raised them better, but I didn’t.
“I think that sounds like a great idea,” she smiles up at me. “It’ll make us feel young again!”
After cleaning up from breakfast, I lead her around the house and we try to find the things we need for snowmen. We gather extra scarves, mittens, and carrots from the fridge.
Lorelei looks like a little kid wrapped up in some of the boy’s old snow gear.
As we are building snowmen, I quickly realize that Lorelei is a pro, she finishes well before I do.
As I’m finishing up putting the items on my snowman, I see Lorelei building something else off to the side.
“What are you building?” I ask while I watch her work.
“A seat! My girls used to do this when they were little. They would dig out a little seat and sit to take a break. I’ve never done it but they always looked so happy to sit out here in the snow.” She waves her hands in the direction of her new furniture.
I walk over and dig out my own seat before I sit next to her. We sit on this snow seat and admire our snowmen. Slowly, our hands creep toward each other. I feel like a teenager at the movie theater again, wondering if I should make a move or not. I guess it all fits with our day, doing things that we would do as children.
We sit in the quiet of the falling snow for a moment. “So, how are you feeling about everything? Especially after spending the night?”
She turns in her seat to face me. “I was thinking about that while we built our snowmen. I was afraid the guilt would build inside with each milestone we have, but it’s not. The girls want me to be happy, and they aren’t upset, the opposite actually. I still get hit with a wave of guilt every now and then, but if he were in my position, I’d want Andrew to be happy.” She gives me a simple smile and squeezes my hand.
“I’m glad to hear that.” I lift her hand to my lips and kiss the back of her hand. “I talked to the boys this morning about their mother. They didn’t know she was coming back. She surprised them by showing up at their doorstep. I don’t know if she’s staying or not. But I wanted to let you know.”
She nods her head. Seeing Susan brings up the old feelings of inadequacy. I’m consciously trying to be all that I can for Lorelei. But if I get busy, will things go like they did in my marriage?
“What is going on in there?” She asks, lightly tapping my forehead.
“My ex is just bringing up old insecurities. I don’t want to do that to you, you deserve more. What happens when I hit busy seasons at work?”
“Scott. I’ve been around with you, even as a friend, for over a year. I know what you do puts a lot of weight on your shoulders. I know you have busy seasons, but we don’t have children that I’d be here with alone, raising by myself,” she assures me. "Besides, I know how much your work means not only to you, but to the seniors in our center."
“Ok. But promise me, if you’re feeling guilty, or grief you tell me. I want to hear about Andrew. And if you think I’m drifting too much to work then you tell me how you’re feeling. I will do everything I can to fix it.” She stands and tugs me toward her.
She wraps her arms around my waist. “I promise I’ll try to stay open too. And if you think I’m not, then you can tell me. Now let’s go inside to warm up and maybe later we can go to the diner for some hot chocolate again,” she smirks.
I smile as we go in the house, happy that she knows my failures as a husband but is willing to give me a chance despite knowing my past.