7. Eric #2
He shakes his head. “Nah-uh. That doubt? That ain’t it.
That’s not the vibe for this ride.” He chalks his hands back up, getting ready to start the next route.
He’s about to close this conversation on me.
“Sleep on it and make a fucking decision.” He checks the harness around his waist. “She’s going to want to keep the bastard away.
” He grabs onto the new wall. “And to help her, you’re gonna claim that baby as yours.
To her, it’s a ploy. Drive Daray bonkers, mess with him, and she gets breathing room.
But for you… You gotta be serious about it. ”
With that, he pushes up, and I follow, but his words take root in my chest, making it hard but refreshing to breathe. You’re gonna claim that baby as yours. I want her. But can I deserve her?
I finally push off the climbing wall, landing with a controlled thud. My muscles burn, but it’s a background sensation now, something I barely register. Diego’s words linger in my head, circling in a slow orbit.
You’re gonna claim that baby as yours.
I roll out my shoulders and grab my hoodie from where I left it on the bench. The fabric is stiff with dried sweat, but when I pull it over my head, the faint scents of chalk and synthetic citrus from the gym’s cleaner mix with something deeper—something warm, familiar.
Amanda.
It’s barely there, an echo in the cotton. But it’s enough. I don’t even realize I’ve stopped moving, already somewhere else.
The memory hits before I can stop it, before I can brace myself. I’ve missed the window on being her first child’s dad, but there’s a first I managed to steal.
It had been one of those long, late-night gatherings, the kind where the adults drank too much wine and forgot to keep track of us. The cabins converged around a central clearing, strung with dim patio lights, a bonfire flickering in the middle. Voices drifted through open doors, fading in and out.
I had drifted too—off the deck, deeper into the woods, where Amanda was sitting, ankles crossed, tugging at a loose thread on her shorts. The lighting was dim, but enough that I could make out her features.
I dropped down next to her, stretching my legs out in front of me. “What are you doing here, sulking?”
She huffed a quiet laugh. “I’m not sulking.”
“You sure look like it.”
Amanda rolled her eyes, but there was a beat of hesitation before she said, “It’s stupid.” She paused, as if she was checking how safe it was to continue. “Just a guy at school.”
My stomach tightened. This was new. Amanda had never brought up boys before. “What about him?”
She shrugged, but the motion was stiff. “I like him. Like, really like him.” She sighed. “But he’s older. A senior. He said ‘hi’ to me. Asked me what I was reading. And I giggled like he was so hot I couldn’t form words. I didn’t know what to say so he’d keep talking to me.”
That was new too. Amanda had always been a little too fearless for her own good.
I tilted my head, watching her. “What do you mean?”
She exhaled, still fidgeting with the loose thread. “He’s… experienced. I’ve seen him with at least three girls. Sucking face in the halls.”
My jaw clenched. “You like a guy who makes out with girls in the halls? A senior?”
What the fuck?
She shrugged. “You do it, and you’re a junior. Why is it any different?”
Yeah, idiot. Walked right into that one.
“So, what, you want him to suck your face in the halls?”
“Not in the halls,” she said, wiggling her eyebrows at me.
What on earth is going on?
“Anyway.” She sighed. “It’s stupid.”
“Why do you even like this guy? He sounds like a total douche.”
She shrugged. “We were in the library once. He was working on some assignment. Threw a draft in the trash. Hit me—”
My eyes widened. “He hit you?”
“Jeez, Eric, by accident.” She swallowed. “He was working on his personal statement. It was beautiful.” Amanda wouldn’t look at me when she said it. “Anyhoo, I’d embarrass myself even if he were into me.”
For the first time in a long time, I let myself really look at Amanda.
She had grown. Her small frame had filled out, her thighs stronger and shapely, her hips more defined.
She’d been wearing a bra for years, but the swell of her breasts looked less subtle than it had before.
She didn’t look much different from the sixteen-year-old I had taken to homecoming.
“Why would you embarrass yourself?” I asked, forcing my voice to stay casual. “You’re smarter than any of those girls. I probably know some of them.”
“Well.” A shade of pink tinted her cheeks. “I’ve just never kissed a boy before. Not like that. You know… with tongue.” The pink darkened even further, her eyes skipping away from mine.
“That’s what you’re worried about?”
She nudged me with her knee. “Easy for you to say. You’ve been making out since you were, what? Twelve?”
“Excuse me, I was thirteen. You think I’m some kind of floozie?” I pretended to be offended.
She laughed, and it made me happy to see her shoulders relax.
Forcing air into my lungs, I shifted slightly. Then, feeling like I was walking a tightrope, I turned to face her fully. “You want to practice?”
Amanda’s fingers stilled. Crickets chirped around us, the laughter from inside suddenly too distant.
She looked at me then—really looked at me. “Are you serious?”
I lifted a shoulder like it didn’t matter. “Sure. No pressure. Just so you’re not nervous when this guy finally notices you.” I bumped my shoulder into her. “And he will.”
Her eyes flickered to my mouth. But she didn’t move.
I leaned in just enough so Amanda knew I was serious, but not so much that it would be weird if she brushed me off. It was up to her. It should always be her call.
She leaned closer, then hesitated just for a second, just enough for me to feel her breath on my lips. And then she closed the gap.
At first, it was nothing. Just a press of her mouth to mine. Until something shifted.
She was warm, impossibly soft, and I hadn’t been prepared for the way my pulse jumped. Her hands braced lightly to my knee, fingers twitching until she moved closer and curled them around the hem of my shirt, pulling me in.
I tilted my head slightly, deepening the kiss—not much, just enough to feel the way she responded, the tiny inhale she took. Her lips parted against mine, and I flicked my tongue at hers.
I pulled back, ducking back toward her to lay one quick closed-mouthed kiss on her, then inching back, eyes darting up to hers to gauge her reaction. To ensure she was still comfortable with it. Hoping Amanda would want more, yet telling myself she’d be overwhelmed.
Instead, she went all in, tilting her head the other way. She teased my lips with her tongue, eager, and a bit clumsy. There was passion in the way her tongue coiled around mine, demanding a reaction out of me.
A slow burn started in my chest.
She breathed evenly, and I felt it on my jaw, steady, sure, as she took the lead away from me. This time, I pulled her closer, my palm against the small of her back. She snaked her hand onto my left side, fingers sneaking under my shirt this time.
Our kiss was hers to command. It was like she had done it for hours.
Amanda slowed it down this time. I fought the impulse to invite her tongue to dance with mine again. Instead, I let her break away, pecking my lips softly. I returned each kiss with one of my own, and traced her nose with mine with a tenderness I didn’t know I had.
I swallowed, breathing in her lavender scent, dragging my palm up her back until I could wrap a finger around a lock of her auburn hair. She was gorgeous, and she was looking at no one but me, anticipation and sweetness shining in her darker virid eyes.
I forced a smirk. “Yeah, he’s gonna enjoy that.”
Amanda blinked at me, narrowing her eyes, the softness gone.
Her lips still brushed mine when she spoke. “You want me to go and kiss someone else now? Just like that?” She pecked my lips. “Because your jaw tensed just now.” Her tongue darted out. She smiled against my lips.
She wasn’t wrong. My chest had come apart at the seams, and I didn’t know how to stitch it closed again.
I forced a chuckle, shaking my head. “I’m fine. Just looking out for your technique.”
She made a face, but there was something knowing in her eyes. “Right. Well, thanks for the lesson.”
She pulled away, shifting completely out of my embrace. My hand landed on her knee as she moved, and I left it there, grounding myself in the feel of her skin.
I still felt her on my lips, heard the slight hitch in her breath when the kiss deepened. And I knew, without a doubt, that some part of me—maybe even a big part—didn’t want another guy getting to know that sound. But I refused to let myself want more than the pretense.
Amanda stood, brushing herself off. “We should probably head back before someone comes looking.”
I nodded, but as I followed her inside, I knew there could have been more. If I just let it.
Until Diego nudges me with his foot, almost making me stumble.
“You good?”
I shake it off. “Yeah.”
“You ready for more?” He’s standing tall close to me, and I’m still much taller than he is.
There’s something about him, though—something about how he knows so much better than me—that always makes him feel like he’s larger than life to me.
I nod. “Sure. Let me chalk up.”
“That’s not what I mean.” He taps my shoulder. “Are you ready for more, Eric?”
He doesn’t wait for me to answer.