Chapter 7 Harper
Harper
The smell of burnt flesh filled Dean’s car because Jack Wallace’s hand was a nightmare—a fist covered in angry red skin, some of it peeling off. I wanted to puke but figured that wouldn’t be terribly helpful.
Propped between Emery and me in the backseat, Jack moaned, his head rolling on his shoulders, drunk off his ass. He was Emery’s older brother but was in our senior class, having been held back for mental-health reasons. I didn’t know the whole story, but clearly it was more of a nightmare.
“They killed him, Emery,” he said again and again. “They killed him.”
Emery shot me a look, panicked and horrified while Dean drove to the Newport Medical Center. There, a team carefully extracted Jack from the car.
“What happened?” a doctor asked.
“We were at a bonfire at the Castle Hill Lighthouse,” Dean said. He hesitated, glanced at Emery, then added, “I think he fell. He was pretty drunk.”
The doctor took some more information, and Jack was wheeled away.
We pulled Emery aside. “I didn’t know what to tell the doctor,” Dean said. “Or if Jack could get in trouble or something, but you should know, he didn’t fall.”
I nodded. After leaving Orion and Elowen to enjoy the rest of the beautiful moonlit night together, I’d rejoined Dean. Jack Wallace had pushed between us, ranting and raving. He fell to his knees in front of the fire, and then…
I gently touched Emery’s arm. “He said something about a train… Then he reached into the fire.”
Emery paled, and I thought she might pass out. The three of us sat down, and I brought her some water while she called her father. When he arrived, he dismissed Dean and me as if we were his underlings. I was glad to go.
“Holy shit,” Dean said as we walked back to the parking lot. “That was all kinds of fucked up.” He shot me a smile full of false cheer. “And how was your night?”
The moment when Orion tried to kiss me flooded my thoughts. How we’d both shared something deeply personal, and then that gorgeous face of his was so close to mine, his mouth descending… I’d almost let myself believe it was going to be more than one kiss.
But I wasn’t a fool. What else would it be but a casual hookup? What else could he and I be at a school like this?
Orion doesn’t want anything real, I thought, my defenses running at maximum capacity. He’s used to girls falling all over him and assumed I’d fall all over him too—
“Harper?”
“Oh, it was fine. Whatever,” I said. “I mean, not fine, obviously. I hope Jack’s okay. Emery too. Their dad seems like a piece of work.”
“Yeah, no kidding,” Dean said darkly. “I don’t know if you’ve heard, but they had an older brother named Grant. He died a while back. Hit by a train up in Providence.”
“Jesus.” I shivered and hugged myself in my thin sweater. It smelled faintly of Orion’s cologne, left over from his jacket. When I’d felt warm and safe—
Stop.
“Give you a ride home?” Dean said.
“I’m parked at the lighthouse.”
“Right-o.”
He drove me back to the beach—the last place I wanted to go—but there was no sign of Orion, thankfully.
Because he took Elowen home.
This whole night was a shit show that desperately needed to end. I drove home, ready to crawl into bed and dive into sleep. Instead, I opened the door and caught Dash as he flew at me. He wrapped his little arms around my waist and burst into tears.
“Whoa, buddy, what’s going on?” I cried. “What happened?”
“I was scared,” he said.
I glanced around the living room. The couch was empty. The clock on the microwave said it was nearly eleven.
“Where’s Mom?” I asked. “What are you doing up so late?”
“She got a call to go to work,” Dash said against my middle.
My stomach tightened, stealing my breath. “And she left you here by yourself?”
I fumbled in my small purse for my phone to see if Mom had tried to call me to come home. Nothing. I squatted down so I was eye level with Dash. He looked so small and innocent in his dinosaur PJ’s, his hair sticking up in the back.
“I don’t understand. Tell me exactly what happened.”
He rubbed his eye with the heel of his hand. “She said she didn’t have a choice, and she was sorry. I should just watch a movie, and not cook anything or eat anything so I wouldn’t choke. She said she’d be home soon, and it’d be okay.”
Oh my fucking God…
“Why didn’t she call me so I could come home?”
“She said she didn’t want to ruin your night.” Dash sniffled. “Are you mad?”
“Not at you, buddy,” I said, trying my damnedest to keep my voice even. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”
“No, I just got scared of being by myself in the new house.”
“I’ll bet,” I said. “Come on.”
I walked Dash up to his room, tucked him in and turned on his Finding Nemo nightlight. A blue-and-yellow glow filled the room as it slowly rotated, projecting Dory, Nemo, and Crush on the wall.
“Will you sit with me until I fall asleep, Harper?”
“Of course I will. Of course.”
It didn’t take long. He was so tired, probably from being scared all damn night.
I stayed with him until I was sure he was deeply under, then I went downstairs and sat on the couch to wait. Thirty minutes later, my mother walked in the door, dumping her linen bag of cleaning supplies by the front closet.
“Oh, Harper, good. You’re home. Is Dash asleep?”
“What the fuck were you thinking?” I hissed in a stage whisper.
Mom flinched, then sighed. “Don’t start with me. I’ve had a long night—”
“You had a long night? I came home and Dash was wide awake and scared to death. You just left him here? By himself? Why didn’t you call me?”
“I was trying not to bother you. Your first social event of the year, right? Didn’t you tell me you wanted to be with your new friends?”
“Yes, but it doesn’t mean you leave a seven-year-old by himself.”
“I didn’t think it was going to be that long,” Mom said. “The lady got a last-minute booking and needed a bit of extra cleanup. But the last guests used her white towels instead of the black ones she left specifically for makeup, so I had to do a lot of bleaching—”
“I don’t care. You fucking call me so I can come home and take care of the seven-year-old.”
Mom’s gaze flattened, her lips pursed. She was tired from working two jobs and goddammit, I didn’t want to feel bad for her. But I did feel bad for her while being ready to explode at the same time.
Or maybe that’s why I wanted to explode.
“I don’t appreciate your tone of voice, young lady,” she said. “I don’t appreciate being lectured, either, like you’re the adult around here.”
“Someone has to be.”
Quick as lightning, her stinging slap exploded over my cheek. It took everything I had not to slap her back.
“I think you forget who you are sometimes, Harper.”
“No,” I said, teeth clenched, my cheek on fire. “I think you do. You’re the mother. You’re supposed to be taking care of him.”
“I am trying to take care of him,” she said, sinking onto the couch. “And this household. And make enough money so we can stay in it. I was trying to do you a favor tonight.”
“Well, don’t,” I said. “He could’ve hurt himself. He could’ve started a fire. Did you think of that?”
Jack Wallace’s burnt hand came to mind, and I thought I was going to puke. Mom’s face fell, as a similar image must’ve come to her mind.
“He’s a good kid,” she said weakly. “He’s smart. He wouldn’t—”
“He’s seven, Mom. If the neighbors found out and called the cops or CPS, they’d take him away. Again.”
God, just the thought made me cold all over. I’d die first.
Her shoulders slumped. “You’re right. No, you’re right. I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry. And I shouldn’t have hit you. Come here.”
I remained standing, arms crossed.
Irritation returned to her voice. “Harper, I’ve had a long day. I’m tired. He’s fine. The house is still standing. Can we just forget this whole thing happened and start fresh? Please?”
Start fresh. Her favorite motto every time something like this happened. A hundred do-overs for her, while each one piled up in the back of my mind until I felt like I was carrying a thousand pounds on my back.
I started for the stairs. “I’m going to bed.”
“How was your night?” she called after. “Was the bonfire fun, at least?”
“Oh, sure,” I muttered. “Time of my life.”
I sat at my desk, pulled out my ancient laptop, and started brainstorming for the Novus Prize for Scientific Innovation. All that mattered now was winning that contest, getting the money for some kind of safety net, and getting a leg up at the universities. Everything else came second.
Everything.