Chapter 39 Orion
Orion
After the concert, I was surrounded. The other performers, parents, students, all shaking my hand, patting me on the back and telling me how amazing my performance was.
Ezra stood beside me like a proud parent. Bittersweet, until I saw my own parents, Octavian, and Odin, making their way toward us.
“What are you guys doing here?”
“Are you kidding?” Odin said. “We flew in yesterday.” He engulfed me in a hug. “Bloody hell, little brother. I knew you were good, but that? That was—”
“That was a miracle.” Octavian threw his arms around me. “I have no words.”
“Thanks, Tav.” I turned to my parents. “Mum, Father. This is Ezra Wolfe, professor and world-famous pianist. He’s been my mentor this year.”
They looked him up and down: tattoos, eyeliner, bracelets, nail polish.
“Very pleased to meet you,” my mother said, shaking his hand. My father did the same.
“Impressive,” my father said. “Getting that performance out of my son.”
“I take no credit,” Ezra said. “And that wasn’t a performance, that was a creation. A work of art. A maestro painting a masterpiece as we watched. Or listened, as it were.”
I shot him a look.
He batted his eyes. “Too much?”
“Just a bit.”
“Not enough,” Ezra countered and shook his head, marveling. “I’ll give you a moment.”
Odin and Octavian gave me knowing smiles and moved off to talk with Ezra, leaving me alone with Mum and Father.
“Most impressive,” my father stated. “What is the name of that piece? I don’t recall ever hearing it.”
“He made it up on the spot,” Mum said. “Isn’t that what Professor Wolfe implied?”
“I did.”
My father’s eyes widened. “Extraordinary. It seems this is your calling.”
My mother kissed my cheek. “We’re so proud of you.”
“You are?”
“Of course, darling.”
A short silence fell, and I waited. Because I’d said everything I’d needed to say to them, and I’d just bled my heart and soul all over those keys. Expectation—my expectation—hung heavy in the air, waiting, and they both knew it.
My father rocked back on his heels, lips pursed. Finally, he cleared his throat.
“When I emigrated to Britain, it was not easy, to put it mildly,” he said stiffly.
“It was quite difficult for me. Where other men had to be good, I had to be great. Where other men had to be great, I had to be perfect. Greatness is a shield from struggle, or so I believed. I wanted to protect you and your brothers from the struggles I endured. But to armor you in greatness meant there could be no weakness. I did not intend to create hardship, only to spare you taking the road I had already walked.” He coughed.
“Nevertheless, I’m quite proud of you, Orion, and will always be. No matter where your path takes you.”
I looked between my parents.
“Does this mean…?”
“It means that we’ll support you in whatever you want to do, darling,” Mum said, her eyes full. “We knew you were talented, but that was extraordinary.”
Another silence fell, in which I stared blankly. A blank slate before me, and instead of scared, it was the same as when I’d decided to scrap the Rachmaninoff and just play—both terrifying and exhilarating.
Then Ezra stepped forward. “I don’t mean to eavesdrop, but I was just eavesdropping.”
My mother laughed while my father looked mildly amused.
“I caught that last bit about support. On the subject of Orion’s future, I recorded his performance and will be sending it to the Juilliard music department this very night.”
My head whipped up. “I thought I missed that audition.”
“You did. But Juilliard was intrigued as to why I would not shut up about you, and so they have agreed to assess tonight as an audition, in absentia. I feel very strongly that they will offer Orion a place in their department this fall. An O-1 visa will be required to stay in the country, and I’d be honored to sponsor Orion on that front. ”
Father and Mum exchange glances.
“Juilliard,” he said. “That is an esteemed institution, is it not?”
“For the arts, there are few higher.”
“Wonderful. We look forward to hearing what Juilliard has to say. Let us know how we can be of service. Now, apologies, son, but we have to get back. Our jet is waiting.”
“Already?”
My mother took me by the face and kissed my cheek. “Marvelous, darling. Just marvelous.”
My father shook my hand. “Well done, son. We’ll be in touch.”
My brothers rejoined me. “I thought I was going to be…”
“Cut off forever?” Odin laughed. “That would be far too much drama and conflict for our parents.”
I laughed lightly. “I guess so. But you just got here. You flew all that way just to hear me play?”
“Wouldn’t have missed it for the world,” Odin said, engulfing me in a hug.
Octavian hugged me too. “Exceptional.”
“Thank you for everything,” I whispered, holding him tight. “And stay off that goddamn lake.”
After they had left, I turned to Ezra. “You’re a liar. You’re not a world-famous pianist.”
“No? What am I?”
“A guardian angel in disguise,” I said. “I can’t thank you enough.
For what you did for Harper, and for what you did for me.
But especially what you did for Harper. If you hadn’t been there for her, I don’t even want to think about what might’ve happened.
Except I know I would’ve punched Langford in the face and messed up my hand. Though it would’ve been worth it.”
“It would not have been worth risking your career for that tosser. And besides, she did for me more than I did for her. Trust me.” He grinned. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a video to process.”
He hugged me and held me at arm’s length.
“It’s been a privilege, Orion. A privilege.”
Finally, the last well-wisher departed, but I wasn’t ready to go back to Atlas Hall. I hung around until the auditorium cleared out, and then I sat at the piano and ran my hands up and down the keys.
“I have a complaint,” said a voice coming down the aisle. My favorite voice. “My program said Rachmaninoff. That wasn’t Rachmaninoff.”
Harper was stunning in a black dress, her hair piled up with little curls brushing her pale cheeks.
“Hello, love.”
“How in the world did you do that?” she said, moving into the circle of light.
“I thought about Dean. It felt like he deserved something. A tribute.” I shrugged. “I don’t know, I wasn’t really thinking.”
“That’s what made it perfect,” Harper said. “Scooch.”
She sat down next to me on the bench.
“Careful, Bennett. If you keep bossing me around like that, I’m going to fall in love with you.” I brushed a curl from her cheek. “Are you okay?”
She nodded, then shook her head. “Yes and no. I’m fine, but I’m not okay, if that makes sense. I’m not hurt, but I feel like I’ve been wounded in some deep, unalterable way, you know? And I’ll wear the scar forever.”
My heart cracked with pain for her and flared with such hatred for the man who did this to her. Who’d cared more for his own sick needs than about the human being in front of him.
“What you did, Harper, was the bravest thing I’ve ever seen,” I said, my voice thick. “And while I hate that it happened to you, and I’d erase that night if I could, you were extraordinary long before it. I’m so fiercely proud… If I can say that without sounding like a patronizing arsehole.”
She smiled faintly. “I’ll allow it.”
God, this girl.
“I’m proud because, thanks to you, that fucker is going to jail, and he’s not going to hurt anyone else.” I held her cheek now in my palm. “I know that doesn’t make it easier…”
“But it helps,” she whispered. “It helps a lot.”
I leaned forward and kissed her forehead, and we stayed that way for a long minute. Then Harper sat up and huffed a breath.
“In other, better news,” she said, wiping her eyes. “Ezra tells me you’re going to Juilliard.”
“He’s sending them tonight’s performance. That’s not a guarantee—”
“So you’re going to Juilliard. And I’m going to NYU.”
“Oh?” I said, playing it cool, while joy suffused every part of me. “So we’ll be in the same city.”
“Seems so. After I figure out what to do with Dash. But the Academy is trying to buy my cooperation, and I think things are going to be okay with my mom.”
“Really?”
“I’ll be able to afford rehab and family counseling, so I have hope. And if things still aren’t okay, we’ll figure it out. That’s what we do, right?”
“That’s what we do.” I glanced down. “I’m sorry, Harper. I’m sorry I cheated and stayed in that damn contest.”
“I understand why you did.”
“I know. Your speech at the NoSci was the best thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life.”
“Your performance tonight was the best thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life. I could feel Dean all around me.”
I nodded, glanced away.
“Hey.” Harper touched my cheek so I’d look at her. “If he didn’t take that pill at your party, he would’ve taken it somewhere else. Because he was doing his best to keep up like all the rest of us. You can’t blame yourself.”
“But I do.”
“I know, but…” She bit her lip. “I think maybe guilt is a way that we torture ourselves. The tragedy is so big and so painful, so we try to take a piece of it and give it a reason or assign blame because otherwise it feels so meaningless. But you can’t take it on yourself, Orion.
Dean would hate that. God, he would hate that. ”
“Yeah, he would.”
Her words made sense, and someday, when the grief didn’t have such sharp, biting teeth, I might believe them.
I took Harper’s hand in mine and kissed her injured finger. “I have a suggestion.”
“And what is that?”
“I hear the rents are pretty rough in New York. And since we’ll both be living there, and you’ll have all kinds of Academy hush money…”
She frowned. “I saw your parents were here. Did they cut you off?”
“No, I just thought it’d be nice to have a sugar mama—Ow!” I laughed and rubbed my arm where she’d swatted me.
She laughed too, shaking her head. “Incorrigible.”
My laughter faded. “I want us to live together, Harper. In fact, I don’t want to live a single day without you.” I cupped her cheek. “Because I love you. You’re the reason I did what I did tonight. You’re the reason I can play.”
“No…”
“Yes, Bennett. Now hush up and let me be romantic a minute. It’s because of you I’m able to choose the piano.
My love for you. You make me want more, and that’s what playing is.
It’s more emotion and pain and grief and joy and all of it.
Losing Dean…” I swallowed. “He showed me what it’s all for.
You, Harper. And music. And love. They’re one and the same. Loving you is music.”
A tear rolled down her cheek, into my hand that held her.
“So what do you say?” I said thickly.
“Yes, Orion,” she whispered. “I’ll be your roommate.”
I stared for a moment and pretended to nearly fall off the bench. “Dear God, Bennett. You’re just killing me.”
“Sorry, let me try again,” she said, meeting my gaze, unwavering. “I love you. With every bit of my heart, I love you, and I don’t want to spend one single day apart from you.” She smiled and touched my cheek. “I want an abundance of you, Orion.”
“I see what you did there.”
“I learned from the best.”
I kissed her softly, laid my lips on hers. My girl, my warrior. Her mouth parted for me, soft and warm, sweet and good. The best kiss of my life because it was with this girl who saw me. All of me. And the part of me that has been searching for a place to put my true self had found its home.
We broke the kiss, and I grinned. “You know what we’ve never done?”
She arched a brow. “Is this about to get super inappropriate?”
I rolled my eyes. “Way to ruin the moment.”
“I’m just trying to stay consistent.”
“We’ve never done a duet. You’re a hell of a piano player, yourself.”
“Oh, please,” she said. “I’m a toddler compared to you.”
“That is not true. There will be no Bennett slander in my presence.” I gave her elbow a nudge. “Come on.”
“What are we going to play?”
“I don’t know. There’s bound to be a duet that we both know. And if there isn’t, we’ll make it up as we go along.”
“Make up a duet,” she said. “Because it’s just that easy.”
“No,” I said. “It’s bloody hard as shit, but that’s what makes it fun.”
Harper studied me. “Your eyes are twinkling.”
“They’re what?”
“Nothing,” she said, smiling to herself. “Okay, Orion Mercer.” She put her hands on the keys next to mine. “Let’s play.”