Chapter Four
TERESA - NEW ROCHELLE, NY
Teresa tried to look nonchalant, smiling at a few club members as she walked by, keeping her eyes glued to the spot where she’d last seen Frank. Where is he?
The evening had been lovely at the start.
She and Frank had come to the club for an adult game night and barbecue, and Teresa was thrilled to have another chance to go out, just the two of them.
Eva had offered to watch Anthony again—she was a godsend—and Teresa had looked forward to being baby free for the evening so she could play rummy cube, one of her favorite games.
While Frank chatted with club members, uninterested in games, she happily played multiple rounds, unaware of the time.
At one point, she spotted their friends Henry and Joanie milling about and waved at them.
The last time she saw Frank, he was by the pool, chatting with Carmen, a bombshell of a woman who flirted a little too much for Teresa’s taste.
When she’d looked back about fifteen minutes later, she’d lost sight of him.
It was getting late, and she wanted to head home soon to relieve Eva of babysitting. Teresa stood at the poolside, scanning the crowd for Frank. Where the heck is he? She walked around the perimeter of the pool. Still no sign of him. She fought a nagging feeling of doubt.
She approached a pleasant couple she’d seen at club events before. “Have you seen my husband, Frank? I was playing rummy cube for so long that I lost track of time.” She laughed, and it came out high-pitched, sounding fake even to her ears.
They glanced around then shook their heads. “No,” the husband said. “Sorry, haven’t seen him.”
“I saw him earlier, but it’s been a while now,” the wife added. “I’m sure he’s around here somewhere.”
“Thank you,” Teresa said, feeling foolish standing there alone, hunting for her husband.
She walked away from them and closed her eyes, feeling woozy.
She took a deep breath to steady herself.
She felt overtired and couldn't think straight.
Those few sips of wine, mixed with lack of sleep from taking care of Anthony, must have gone to her head.
She was a lightweight since she hardly ever drank.
Of course Frank was here somewhere. He wouldn’t just abandon her. Teresa fought her way back through the crowd to reach the place she’d last seen Henry and Joanie, thinking maybe Frank was chatting with them, but they weren’t there. Where else could he be?
She realized she hadn’t checked their boat yet. Teresa headed down the dock and noticed the boat was missing. That was it. Frank had taken the boat out.
But why wouldn’t he tell me and include me?
Why would he leave and take the boat out alone?
Unless he wasn’t alone. Teresa stood there, staring at the empty spot where the boat should be, and felt panic rising.
He wouldn’t go out on the boat with that woman, would he?
Nonsense. He’s not having an affair. And if he were, he wouldn’t be so obvious about it, would he?
An image flashed before Teresa’s vision—Carmen flipping her hair back as she laughed and leaning forward to expose generous cleavage. Teresa stood up straighter, sucking in her stomach and taking in a big gulp of air. Breathe. He’ll be back any minute. It will all be okay.
She returned to the pool and snack bar area. The crowd had grown thinner. A few people walked by on their way to the parking lot and nodded, smiled, or waved. She tried to appear normal even though her heart was beating hard and tears threatened to fall.
Another image flashed in her mind—Frank kissing Carmen, his arms around her small waist, pulling her against him. Teresa’s eyes stung from holding back tears. Her hands shook as she waited, praying to be wrong. Praying for Frank to come.
The Liebers, a kind elderly couple she’d met at the club multiple times, walked by. They waved as they made their way to the parking lot. Mrs. Lieber called out, “Teresa, honey, do you need a lift home?”
Teresa hesitated, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. If she took the ride home, Frank might come back and worry that she wasn't here. But Frank had abandoned her. Anger rose within her.
She turned to Mrs. Lieber. “That would be great, thanks. Frank got caught up with something and won’t be heading home until much later.”
How quickly and easily the lie had sprung from her mouth. It shocked her. Yet she had a strange premonition this would be the first of many lies she would have to tell about her marriage.
Teresa followed the Liebers to their car, hoping this wouldn’t be how the night ended.
She kept her eye out for Frank coming up from the dock.
Nothing. She climbed into the back seat, feeling like she was moving in slow motion.
As the car pulled out of the Drifters’ parking lot and the pool became smaller in the distance, she realized Frank had bailed on her, leaving her alone and ruining their night out.
She sat back against the seat, silently crying, sobs racking her body, but not letting a single wail out—just as she’d hidden the truth of Frank’s abandonment from the Liebers.
Fifteen minutes later, Teresa thanked them for the ride and made her way up the long flights of stairs, stopping to wipe the mascara smeared under her eyes. She dreaded facing her mother-in-law. It was hard enough to hide her despair from acquaintances. Now she had to figure out what to say to Eva.
She entered the apartment quietly and saw Eva sitting at the kitchen table. Teresa gave her a half-hearted smile. “Anthony okay?”
“Yes, yes, he’s fine. He was a good boy,” Eva said in her singsong Italian accent. She stared at Teresa, who felt like she was under a microscope. Eva looked past Teresa. “Frank parking the car?”
“No.” Teresa took in a deep breath and exhaled raggedly. “He... we got separated at the boat club. I got a ride home with some friends.”
Eva pursed her lips. “He didn’t drive you home?”
Teresa shook her head, not trusting herself to speak for fear that the tears would start again.
Eva got up and gently touched Teresa’s arm. “Do you know where he is?”
Teresa shook her head again, feeling like a puppet with only one motion.
“Va bene,” Eva said, squeezing Teresa’s arm.
Teresa resisted the urge to lean, like a sinuous, arching cat, into the warmth of Eva’s touch. She didn’t want to alarm her mother-in-law by crying in her arms. Eva gave another squeeze and then released her.
Eva gathered her purse and started walking to the door. “He’ll be home soon. Try not to worry.”
“I know,” Teresa croaked, not feeling confident at all in that knowledge.
Eva hesitated. “You know if you ever need me, Teresa, for anything, I’ll be there. For you. And for Anthony.” Eva pointed her finger, emphasizing each phrase. Teresa watched it move back and forth, as if in a trance.
“Thank you,” Teresa whispered.
Eva put her hand on the doorknob, looked back at Teresa, gave a curt nod, and left.
Teresa lay in bed for over an hour, unable to sleep. She heard the apartment door open and looked at the bedside clock. It read 11:36. The sound of Frank washing up in the bathroom drifted toward her. She felt him cautiously climb into bed.
Teresa turned over and faced him. “You're finally home.”
“You're awake?” Frank asked, sitting upright, startled.
Teresa sat up also, supporting herself with her elbows. “I couldn't find you, Frank. You just disappeared. I had to get a ride home from the Liebers.” Her voice trembled.
“I know. I’m sorry. I took the boat out for a spin with Henry, and we lost track of time.”
“Henry?” Teresa asked, surprised. “I figured he went home with Joanie. I looked for the two of them when I couldn’t find you, and they were both gone.”
“No, Joanie left earlier. So I had to give him a ride home after we got back to the club. That’s why I’m later than I thought I’d be. Sorry.”
Teresa's voice caught. “Why didn't you tell me you were going?”
“I thought it would be a quick spin, but we wound up stopping at City Island. He’d never docked there before with the boat, and I wanted to show it to him. I didn’t think we’d be so late.”
“Oh...” Teresa said, a bit confused. She should have been relieved Frank was with Henry, especially compared to the farfetched scenarios she’d been concocting with her imagination on overdrive. Yet an uneasy feeling still nagged at her.
“You can’t do that—just disappear,” she whispered.
Frank took her lead and whispered too. “I’m sorry. I should've told you.”
“Yes, you should have. I couldn't find you...” Teresa looked at the wall, making out shadows from the streetlight. She wasn’t sure she believed him. “I need you to be honest with me, Frank. Were you really with Henry? Or were you with... someone else?”
“Yes, I was with Henry. There was no one else there, I swear. I should’ve told you, and I’m sorry we were out for so long. God, I feel so bad I made you worry and left you without a ride. Please forgive me.”
She tried not to raise her voice again. “Honestly, I can't shake this off. When I came home alone, I had hours to think about what might have happened to you. I was afraid you went off with a woman.”
Teresa felt embarrassed to admit that she’d felt abandoned and that this night had triggered every insecurity she had ever known.
Her parents’ marriage wasn’t one to aspire to, and so many of her extended family members had husbands who strayed.
She didn’t want to be next in a long line of marriages riddled with infidelity.
“Why would I do that?” Frank asked.
“Because you could. You could disappear and go off with another woman.” She sounded insecure. And maybe that was justified. But she didn’t want her insecurity to create a chasm between them.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you Henry and I were taking the boat out and that I’m so late. I didn’t know it would make you worry this much.”
“Don’t do it again—disappear and not tell me where you’re going and then not come home for hours, knowing I'm sitting here, worried.”
“Okay,” said Frank, stroking her hair. “I won’t. But please, Teresa, don’t worry. You’re my wife.” He lifted her chin, and she could see the streetlight reflected in his eyes. “I love you.” He said each word slowly.
“That doesn’t make what I went through tonight hurt any less or make me feel any better about it.”
“Fair enough. That’s true. But I do love you. Don’t forget that.”
Frank leaned over, kissed her good night, and then settled himself on the pillow. Teresa leaned back and stared up at the ceiling, bone-tired. She heard the baby cry. Great.
“I’ll get him,” Frank said, jumping back up from bed. He walked over to the crib and picked Anthony up.
As Frank rocked the baby to soothe him, one thought kept tumbling over in her mind: Will he be able to keep his promise?