Chapter 2
“Do you think I want this?” Eamon shouted from his crumpled position on the foyer floor. “Do you think I want to leave you? You are the love of my life, Isobel. Look at this house. Do you see the furniture and décor? Haven’t you noticed that it’s all stuff you like? My entire home is a love letter to you. This isn’t my house. It’s ours. You belong here with me, and I want you every day for as long as you live. I hate the thought of leaving. I cannot stomach the idea of never seeing you again, but you were dead. You left me first. You died, and for those unending hours, I’d lost you.” He slammed his head back against the wall, the life bleeding from his eyes. “Obviously, it was a mistake, but you ceased to exist, and I can’t suffer that again. I cannot bury you. I won’t do it. If you die, I die.”
“Eamon…” Bel trailed off, a different brand of fear taking root in her gut at the shattered man before her.
“I won’t bury you,” he repeated. “Don’t make me do that. Please don’t make me…” his voice broke. “You were dead, and now that I got you back, I refuse to lose you again. I would rather live across the world than put you in the ground so young. You have so much life left to live, and I won’t be the reason it’s cut short. I won’t be the reason your family has to attend your funeral.”
“Eamon.” Tears flooded her eyes until his outline blurred. “I’m so sorry. I was so caught up by everything that I never stopped to consider what my faked death did to you.”
“And you shouldn’t have to. What you suffered was far worse.”
“It doesn’t change the fact that you lost me.” She crossed the foyer and sank to the ground, straddling his lap until she sat chest to chest with him. “For those first hours, you did lose me. I was dead for you, and I can’t imagine the pain you went through. If I ever lost you, I wouldn’t survive.”
“Don’t say that.”
“It’s true.” She caught his face and forced him to look at her. “I can’t lose you either. It’s why you can’t leave me. I need you… more than you realize. You won’t bury me, but I won’t live without you. Don’t make me.”
“But I’m not safe.” Eamon gripped her hips as if he feared she’d stand up and vanish into the ether. “Look at all I’ve done to you.”
“Eamon, you’re a powerful man, but you aren’t responsible for everything. You aren’t God.” She kissed his lips gently before continuing. “And have you ever stopped to look at things from another angle? You scarred me, yes, but that was because Alcina cursed you. She needed a sacrifice to complete her spell, and if she’d succeeded, her black magic would’ve owned you. Imagine the horrors you would’ve inflicted on this world if I hadn’t been the sacrifice. I was the one who made you resist. I was the reason you fought back. When you think about it, I saved you.”
“Isobel.” He pulled his face from her hands.
“It’s the truth.” She wrapped her arms around his neck, refusing to let him escape the conversation. “I saved you from becoming a monster. I gave you a reason to fight, and you’re a free man because of it. My scars are proof I survived. They’re proof you did the impossible when you defied Alcina, and I hate hearing that you think you disfigured me. You always make me feel beautiful. Don’t undo that.”
“I’m sorry for what I said at the hospital.” His grip tightened on her hips, but she didn’t move, letting him cling to her. “I didn’t mean that you were deformed. I just meant I hurt you.”
“I know.” Bel ran her fingers over his chiseled jaw. “You love me, scars and all. You love them because they remind you we’re worth fighting for.”
“We are.” Eamon’s head collapsed against her chest, all the resistance leaving his muscles, and Bel tightened her hold on his neck.
“And you blame yourself for Abel, but your only fault was getting my attention. Abel was unstable, and he fixated on me. If I hadn’t fallen for you, I would’ve dated someone else, and he still would’ve come after me. The only difference is that another boyfriend couldn’t have saved me. I escaped his basement ten minutes before you arrived. Ten minutes, Eamon. If I’d just waited, you would’ve broken down that locked door with your bare hands. You were why I never gave up hope when I was with him. I knew you were coming for me.”
“But I’m why you moved to Bajka,” he argued. “If I hadn’t attacked you in New York, you would’ve never met him.”
“And he would’ve kidnapped another girl,” Bel said. “He wasn’t stable. My presence made him snap, but I’m not special. Another woman would’ve eventually triggered him, and she might not have had the strength to escape. Am I glad he took me? Of course not. But you didn’t cause it. Abel was a broken man, and he was going to kill whether he met us or not. Then there’s the Darling Case,” she continued, the words a flood from her mouth now that she’d started. “Wendy hid the truth about her brothers until it was too late to un-involve me. We didn’t have all the information, and while we lost lives, we saved two children. Kids, Eamon. We saved kids. The FBI tried to help them, but they didn’t decipher the clues.” Bel jabbed a finger into her chest. “I did. I found those boys, and you helped rescue them. We did that, and you cannot blame yourself for a madman’s actions when we’re the reason that family is alive. They were at my dad’s for Thanksgiving, playing with my nieces and nephews and my dog because of us. I never want to step on an IED again, but I also refuse to watch a ten-year-old drown. And even if you didn’t introduce me to the Darlings, the police would’ve eventually gotten involved. Think about how that IED blast would have ended if you weren’t there.”
“Don’t say that.”
“It’s the truth. I would’ve been called in to investigate a kidnapping, but without you, I’d be in pieces.”
“Isobel.” He gripped her biceps as if it would silence her.
“So, don’t you see all the good being with me does?”
“But I couldn’t save you from Blaubart,” he argued. “That man was planning to cut apart your face and turn you into another woman.”
“But taking me on vacation didn’t make him kidnap me. Charles’ obsession with me was largely my fault. I’m like a dog with a bone, and you know it. Once I have the scent, I can’t let it go. I wouldn’t stop digging into his wife, and I made a mistake. I ventured into the lion’s den alone, and he took advantage. You had no responsibility in what happened. I am more to blame than you, but in the end, I saved Annalise. Fleeing that mountain was traumatizing, but she survived because of me. She didn’t die because of you.”
Eamon tilted his head in a question.
“Don’t you see?” Bel cupped his jaw again and forced him to meet her gaze. “You make me a better cop. I’m braver because of you. It’s been terrifying, and yes, I’ve landed in the hospital, but Griffin was shot in a case that had nothing to do with you. I was in that shootout too. I could’ve died in that hallway. My job is dangerous with or without you, but I’m ten times the officer I used to be because you guard my back. I know you’re always coming for me, so if you leave, I won’t be any safer. I’ll eventually end up in another hallway with another gunman, only I won’t have you to shield me. You’ll no longer be there to stop the bullets, and I need you to feel brave, to be fearless.”
“You’re a little too fearless.” Eamon smiled up at her, and a weight fell from her shoulders at the sight. “I can’t lose you.”
“So I’ll stop being reckless.”
Eamon burst out laughing. “I don’t think you have it in you.”
“Fair. So, we’ll make a plan then,” she said. “Half the time, I get in trouble because I think I’m doing something harmless. From now on, I won’t make any moves without alerting you or another officer. If I want to interview a doctor because I suspect his wife, I’ll wait for you. If I recognize a madman’s clue, I’ll let you go first.”
“I get that you’re trying to prove your point, but Isobel, if this is what you want, you need to be serious about calling me. I cannot help you if I can’t find you.”
“But I am serious. I don’t particularly want to run down a snowy mountain without a coat while being shot at again. I want us to work, and if our relationship means I’ll sometimes go toe-to-toe with the world’s most dangerous creatures, I swear to you this Christmas afternoon on this floor that I’ll change my approach. If Griffin, Olivia, a deputy, or my father aren’t with me, I’ll make sure you’re informed of my every move.”
“I should embed a tracker in you,” Eamon teased as he lifted her wrist to his lips.
“Hard no, but you can track my phone.”
“Already do that.”
“I’m aware.” She leaned forward and kissed his forehead.
“But it isn’t always enough. I can’t help you if you disappear without a word.”
“I’ve learned my lesson. Trust me. Mankind isn’t the top of the food chain, so I’ll let you take charge.”
“I don’t want to take charge,” Eamon said. “I just want to keep you alive.”
“I want to stay alive too.” She leaned back and extended her hand to him. “So, do we have a deal? Do we work on our communication skills so the Blaubarts, Abels, and IEDs don’t happen again? I’m willing to do whatever it takes because you can’t leave me.”
“Like let me embed a tracker under your skin?” he asked.
She playfully tapped the side of his head before extending her hand again. “Except that. I’m not a dog that you microchip.”
“Careful,” Eamon said. “Cerberus can hear you.”
Bel rolled her eyes. “Do we have a deal?”
“Only if you promise me something.”
“Okay.”
“If you ever feel I’m to blame, tell me. If I ever make you feel unsafe, make me leave.”
“That’s not going to happen.”
“Isobel, I’m serious. I’ve seen what happens to the women loved by selfish men. They always suffer the consequences. That won’t be you.”
“Yes, I promise.” Her face sobered. “If I’m ever threatened by your actions, I’ll tell you, but until that day comes, you aren’t allowed to walk out on me.”
“I didn’t bring this up to hurt you,” Eamon said, still not taking her hand. “I didn’t suggest leaving to control or insult you.”
“I know that… now. I wanted to hate you for this, but I talked to Briar. I guess my mom experienced similar emotions when my dad was shot. She felt guilty because she’d been the one to request that he switch shifts, but in the end, she realized Dad didn’t need her guilt. He needed her support. He needed a safe space, and she gave that to him… I need a safe space to come home to, Eamon, and I pray that’s you. My sister helped me realize that your willingness to leave was proof of just how much in my corner you are.”
“Because I am in your corner,” he said. “I don’t want to leave you. I don’t even want to sleep without you. It’s been so long since I had you in my bed that your scent has faded, and I’m losing my mind. But I’m trying to do the right thing.”
“You did the right thing. You put me first.” She waved her hand between them to remind him she was waiting. “And I love you for it. But for god’s sake, Eamon, do we have a deal, or are you going to leave me hanging?”
“Say it again.”
“Say what?” she asked.
“You know.”
Bel lowered her hand and wrapped it around his neck. “I love you, Eamon Stone.”
“Again,” he whispered as their lips brushed together.
“I love you.”
“Then we have a deal.” Eamon kissed her, his arms pulling her so tight that she couldn’t breathe, but she didn’t care. She sighed against his mouth, her fingers winding through his hair as she pulled him close. His hands on her waist bruised her skin. Her nails dragging against his head stung his scalp, and their kiss turned desperate as they sealed their deal on the foyer floor. The tile was cold, but Eamon was warm, and as her sweater joined her jeans in a heap, their heartstrings drew them another stitch closer. Their fear and anger and reconciliation mixed with their love. It was raw and messy, filled with tears and moans and bruised knees. It was beautiful and honest, filled with their promise to each other. It was endless and breathless and sweaty, and when Bel’s shaking body collapsed on his heaving one, she felt the truth in his grip on her bare hips. He wasn’t going anywhere. She was his home, and he’d designed his house to be hers.
“I’m glad you came to talk,” he finally said through his gasps for breath. “I got in my car at least once a day to visit you, but then I remembered your dad’s face at the hospital, and I chickened out.”
“I knew it,” she smirked.
“Knew what?” he asked.
“That my dad is the only person Eamon Stone is afraid of.”
“And you. I’m definitely afraid of you.” He slapped her ass playfully, and she slid her glistening body up his chest to kiss him.
“Good. If you’re afraid of me, you won’t leave.”
“You do know if I’d left, I probably would’ve made it as far as the next town before I turned back.”
“Absolutely no discipline. How embarrassing.” She shook her head in mock disapproval.
“Thank you for forcing me to talk this through so I didn’t ruin us. You’re right. We aren’t that couple, and I’m sorry I acted like it. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you, so my emotions get the better of my rational brain sometimes.”
“In your defense, you saw my dead body. If I walked into the morgue, and Lina pulled back the sheet to reveal your face, I would… I don’t actually want to picture that. How did you figure out it wasn’t me?”
Eamon dragged her seductively over every inch of him as he buried his nose in her hair. “Your scent. It was all wrong. Your blood too. The taste was foul.”
“You tasted what you thought was my corpse’s blood?” She jerked off his chest to glare at him.
“I had to be sure.”
“Gross.” She gave him an exaggerated gag. “But thank you for figuring it out. And thank you for not leaving behind my back while I was at my dad’s.”
“I’m not that stupid. I’m sorry my words came across as a final decision and not communication, but I’m not at my best when you’re in a hospital bed. You told me once if I ever stepped out of line, you’d pin my hide to the wall, so I knew if I abandoned you, you’d hunt me down to do just that.”
“I’d never do something that crazy.” She deadpanned, and he pinched his eyebrows at her until she laughed, curling her body tighter against him as her drying sweat chilled her bare skin.
“I would never disrespect you by just leaving.” Eamon rose to a seat and pulled her into his lap to keep her warm. “You may be the first person I’ve loved, but I’ve had friendships. I’ve seen the importance of communication, so if I ever do up and abandon you, I hope you hunt me down and put me in my place.”
“Another deal, then.”
“This one I’ll shake on,” he teased as he gripped her hand, pumping it playfully as she beamed at him. “So, I didn’t ruin us, right?” he asked.
“A single mishandled conversation won’t ruin us.” Bel pulled free of his grip and cupped his face, pulling him down so she could speak against his mouth. “If it did, then we shouldn’t be together, but I think we’re strong enough to handle a disagreement.”
“After hearing what you survived to escape that mountain, I believe you’re strong enough for anything.” Eamon kissed her, long and slow and deep, and Bel wrapped her arms around his neck, seconds away from repeating what had just happened on his foyer floor.
Until a wet nose poked her in the back.
“Oh god!” She jerked in Eamon’s lap before bursting into laughter. Cerberus stood behind her with expectation in his eyes, and Eamon rubbed his head before pulling Bel to a stand.
“Guess he’s done giving us our privacy,” he chuckled.
“At least he let us finish our conversation before he reminded us it’s dinnertime.” Bel grabbed Eamon’s sweater off the floor and slipped it on.
“I missed seeing you in my clothes.” Eamon leaned down and kissed her, slipping on his boxer briefs without bothering to put his pants back on.
“I missed wearing them. I missed everything about you.”
“I’m glad. I needed you to help me escape my head, but how did you convince your dad to let you come?” he asked as the trio entered the kitchen.
“I’m almost thirty-five, that’s how,” she teased, and he rolled his eyes as he dug the dog food out of the pantry. “I told him I’d tell him the truth.”
“You what?” Eamon froze.
“Is that a bad thing? I assumed you’d be okay with it.”
“I am.” He resumed scooping Cerberus’ dinner into his bowl. “I just didn’t think you wanted your father to know.”
“He heard you confess to scarring me. I had no choice, but I haven’t shared any specifics. I just promised him the truth when he decides how much he wants to know. He’s already suspicious because of your and Griffin’s behavior at the morgue.”
“Yeah, he was freaked out about that.” Eamon gripped her hips and hoisted her onto the counter by the stove, fisting his sweater in his fingers and yanking it up to her neck so he could plant a kiss on her chest. “You have no idea how amazing it feels to see your skin whole.” He ran a palm down her bare belly to her thighs before dropping his shirt back in place. “Before I caught the victim’s scent, I thought it was you on that slab… your lower half was severely mutilated. Blaubart must’ve done that to hide any differences the body double had, but at the time I wasn’t thinking rationally. I just saw the love of my life ripped apart.”
“I’m sorry you went through that.” Bel shuddered, trying not to imagine herself dead in the morgue with her flesh peeling off her bones.
“I never want to live through that again.” He pulled open the refrigerator door, not meeting her gaze as he selected ingredients. “I didn’t expect you home until after Christmas, so I didn’t shop for anything special.”
“I already had my Christmas dinner.” She scanned his mostly bare body from head to toe with exaggerated appreciation, and he rolled his eyes before capturing her in a kiss.
“I’m still going to feed you. How hungry are you?”
“I fled Dad’s before breakfast, so I’ve had car snacks and that’s it.”
“Isobel.” Eamon lovingly glared at her.
“This is why you can’t leave me.” She shrugged. “Someone has to make sure I eat.”
“Thank goodness I enjoy doing it.”
“Why do you love to cook when you need blood to survive?”
He shrugged, the kitchen silent for a moment before he answered. “I guess I survived on only blood for so long that when I started eating, I realized how amazing well-prepared food was. Plus, I like watching you eat. It’s cute how you light up around a proper meal when you’re too busy to cook.”
“I love you,” Bel blurted, unable to keep the words in. Now that she’d spoken them, they wanted to spill out endlessly.
“You need to stop that.” Eamon leaned over the sink, every muscle in his massive frame tensing. “I’m trying to make you a nice dinner, but if you don’t stop saying that, I’m going to take you upstairs and lock you in my room.” He shifted to stand between her thighs. “You drove all this way to be with me for Christmas. I don’t want to send you to bed starving.”
“I love you.” Bel shot forward and planted a quick peck on his lips. “But if you want me to make it through dinner, find your pants. I haven’t been home in a while, and I forgot how handsome you are.”
“I like it when you call this home.”
“Calm down.” She patted his chest. “I meant Bajka. Besides, you just raised the question of leaving for my safety. Are you really back to asking me to live with you that fast?”
“You promised to stick closer to me so I can protect you.” Eamon winked before returning to the cutting board. “Living here would solve that problem.”
“Oh my god, you’re hopeless.” Bel jumped off the counter and scanned the wine rack before selecting a bottle, patting Cerberus’s head as she passed his kitchen dog bed. “But did you mean it when you said you’re designing this house for me?”
“Yes. Didn’t you notice that?”
“Maybe… but why? It’s your home.”
“It’s my house,” He corrected. “You’re my home.”
“Then how could you contemplate leaving me?” All couples argued. It was how they emerged from the conversation that defined their relationship, and Bel had no doubts that this would strengthen their bond, but it was impossible to undo days of anxiety in a single hour.
“Because home is always home no matter how far you travel, but if your house burns to the ground, you have nothing to return to,” he answered without looking at her. “I want to always have something to return to.”
Bel set the wine bottle down and settled behind Eamon, wrapping her arms around his waist as he sauteed the vegetables. “Do you want help with dinner?” she asked, because how was she supposed to respond to such a heartbreaking answer?
“I’m sorry.” He placed the knife on the counter and leaned all his weight into his hands. “Are you sure I haven’t ruined us? I don’t want my leaving to be the only thing you think when you see me.”
“I was pretty depressed when you left me at my dad’s,” she answered honestly, her lips tracing his spine as she spoke. “It’ll take time to get over it, but that’s relationships. Do you know how many times my dad or sisters said something that pissed me off? Six girls in one house led to a lot of fights. Sometimes we’d be so mad that we wouldn’t speak to each other for days, but I love them more than anything. Actions are what matter, and you’re a man of your word. I know that if you promise to stay, you’ll fight tooth and nail to keep it.”
“I will. I’m not going anywhere, and this time I mean it. Unless you order me away, you’re stuck with me.”
“And your constant requests to move in with you.”
“See, I always knew you were the smartest of us.”
“So, where did a man who never loved anyone learn the importance of communication?” Bel released his waist and returned her focus to the expensive bottle of wine.
“I’ve had friends. This is actually the part of my past that you’ll like.”
“Tell me?” She poured them both a glass before hopping back onto the counter beside the stove. The counter was her unofficial spot when Eamon cooked, and like a moth to the flame, his hand found her thigh.
“It was World War Two,” he started. “By that point in history, I’d grown a conscience, and war was the perfect position for me. No one would miss the blood of dead soldiers, and I could let my inner monster out. Only I started caring about the men in my unit. For the first time in my life, I cared about humans, but they kept dying on me. I couldn’t take it, so I stopped hiding who I was. I kept all of them alive, and when the war ended, I remained in contact with one of them. He was different from the others. He never acknowledged the fact that every time we saw each other, he was another year older, while I forever looked the same. It changed something inside me, and I found myself unconsciously emulating him. He taught me about love and family, and on his deathbed, I promised to watch over his descendants. They assume the money comes from a trust, but I discreetly check up on them in person from time to time.”
“That’s beautiful.” Bel wiped a tear from her eye, ignoring the reality that she, too, would forever grow older while he looked the same.
“Glad you think so. Remember this when I tell you the rest of my story because you won’t think I’m beautiful then.”
“I don’t scare easily.”
“Thank goodness for that.” He leaned sideways to steal a kiss. “Now go grab some plates so we can eat.” He hoisted her off the counter. “It’s been weeks since I’ve seen you, so I want you properly fed because once I take you to my bed, you aren’t allowed to leave it.”
The morning sunlight peaked through the curtains, and Bel burrowed further below the blankets. The hours their bare bodies had spent beneath the sheets had left her deliciously sore and peaceful until she registered the chill at her back.
“Eamon?” she twisted on the mattress, but his pillow was cold. He’d been absent for a while. “Eamon?” she called, knowing his hearing would catch her voice no matter where he stood in his mansion, but when the home remained silent, Bel knew. He was gone.