23. CHAPTER 23
“Hey, you out of here?” Mateo catches me right as I’m heading toward the doors.
“Yeah. I’m beat.” I’m still a bit shaken from the incident the other day, and I’m running on empty. Honestly, the last month of my life has been more eventful than everything before it.
“Tell me about it. Once I give my report, I’m out of here too. When do you work next?”
“Not until Sunday. Which is good. I need the breather.” I shift from foot to foot, eager to get out of here and home to Teagan. She’s blooming like a flower in spring. It’s only been a few days, but the changes in her demeanor are refreshing. She’s radiating joy and carefreeness. It’s a new side of her and I’m loving it.
“It’s a lot to come back to after a leave. Go home and rest but hit me up if you want to grab a drink or something.” He’s the closet thing I’ve had to a friend, but even he doesn’t know about the nightmares. Or Hope. But Teagan’s showing me I can trust people. Maybe I will hit him up for a beer. Not to dive into my traumatic life right off the bat, but to connect and build more of a friendship outside of work.
I know I’ll struggle with it. But if she could tackle her demons, I can try to do the same with my own. She’s showing me how deserving I am. I’m not sure if I’ll ever fully feel worthy, but I can work on it. She’ll help me. And maybe one day, I’ll learn to love myself more.
I nod and head for the exit. “Will do. See ya.”
I step outside and pause, taking a deep breath of fresh air. I’m getting a better grip on my senses, but after twelve hours, I feel fried. I could literally curl up and nap right here. But I have a beautiful, feisty, confident woman waiting for me. That sparks some energy into me. I climb into my car and head home.
A smile spreads across my face, and I turn the volume up, dancing along to the radio. Just the thought of her eases the tension from my shoulders. Losing Hope might’ve scarred me and devastated my life, but finding Teagan and becoming a Vanamisch has paved the way to a new life for myself. I’m still navigating through some triggers, nightmares, and lingering issues, but things are looking brighter than they ever have before. In an unexpected way, Teagan’s brought hope back into my life.
Growing up constantly being told I’m not good enough, being tortured, ridiculed, and abused, I lost sight of my worth and value. Even when I ran away and lived on the streets, I was constantly on the defense. Always running. Never safe. Never loved. Never cared for. Until now…
I place the lightly seared steak on a white square plate, garnishing with some fresh rosemary. We have very different emotional wounds, but both are equally traumatic. While I’m finally healing and moving on, he still has some mending to do, but he’s trying. His nightmares have gotten worse since the showdown with Patrick, but he’s been able to come out of it and talk with me sooner after waking. Which is huge. He’s letting me in more and more. Plus, he’s mentioned a friend from work named Mateo who he wants to hang out with. So, he’s trying to let others in too.
I carry the plates to his… I shake my head. To our dining room table.
Fuck, I’m not used to this. I’ve lived in fear my whole life, not trusting anyone until Elena. My stomach tightens thinking about her. I still haven’t heard from Tilly.
Nope. Stop. No news is good news.
I need to live in the moment right now.
I return to the kitchen, pouring us each a glass of blood and setting them next to the steaks in our dining room. Now’s the time to bask in a newfound freedom, relishing every moment spent with Wyatt.
His excitement shoots through our bond a moment before the lock clicks and the door opens. I run from the dining room and jump into his arms, wrapping myself around him and capturing his mouth in a desperate kiss.
He grunts and chuckles, kicking the front door shut with his foot. He turns, pressing my back against the wall and deepening the kiss.
“Missed me?” His voice is velvety.
“Always. I made us breakfast.”
“Well, we can enjoy that after I have you.” He pushes me firmly against the wall and pulls my shirt to the side, biting into the column of my neck. The remaining tension in his shoulders eases as he grinds his growing hardness into my center. My giggles fade into lustful moans.
I wiggle for more friction, and he growls, releasing his bite. He cups my ass and heads toward the bedroom, undressing me along the way. I still have my fears, but I’m choosing to live in the moment. With him.
His love and lust pushes through our bond as he lays me on the mattress and hungrily takes in all of me. He’s my favorite distraction, and he knows it. He crawls on top of me, his eyes shifting to a deeper red.
He says I’ve brought hope back into his life, but in reality, it all started with him. Him saving me. Him caring about me. Following and protecting me. He’s shown me time and time again that I deserve more. He’s the one who restored my hope in my future.