Chapter 9
Rubbing my chafed wrists, I realize for the first time how exhausted I am.
Adrenaline kept me awake and mostly alive this far, but he’s looking at me differently now.
His demeanor is calm, more relaxed, more protective.
He’s starting to seem like my Adrian again, and I’m afraid I wouldn’t have any adrenaline left even if he wasn’t.
Apparently, spontaneous demon anal really takes it out of a girl.
“Are you tired?” I ask lamely. He already told me he only sleeps once a week, but I’m looking at his bed and dying to crawl on top of it. “What time is it?”
“Actually, yeah,” he admits. “I don’t exactly keep a clock around these days. What is time when it will never run out?”
Yet as he rubs along his jaw I find myself wondering how long it’s been since he has taken one of his weekly sleeps. He looks as drained as I feel. Not physically, but in a way only I’d be able to see. I still know him.
“I guess that makes sense.” Freshly showered this time, I slide one of his shirts on and move a little closer to him. “It’s cold in here.”
Adrian chuckles, closing the distance between us to stare down at me. “Ever think you’d say you were cold in Hell?”
“Yeah, but only to piss Satan off.”
He looks so much like the man I loved when he bites his bottom lip, that look of reverence he saved solely for me so clear on his beautiful face, I have to clench my fist to keep from reaching out to him. “Sounds about right. So, is my girl tired?”
He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, and suddenly, I don’t care where we are, how we got here, or what his ulterior motives might be.
I finally get to sleep in bed with the love of my life again.
“If I say yes, will you wrap me up in those wings of yours and sleep too?”
“No.” Yet, the smirk on his face says otherwise as he lifts me up and carries me to his bed. “You’re going to use me for my wings now, huh?”
Frowning, I remind myself that we’re making progress right now because I’m not being a dick.
So instead of saying yes just to get under his skin, I shake my head.
“Nope. Just want to learn to embrace... all of you. And you don’t exactly have any blankets down here, so I guess it is a little selfish of me. ”
“I’ve never minded being used by you, Lysandra. It was my favorite pastime,” he quips, lying back with his wings open wide just like his arms. “Plus, I could use some sleep. I think it’s making me soft.”
It‘s hard to hide the satisfied smile on my face as I gently crawl into the space he made for me and feel his wings wrap around me.
It‘s not the lack of sleep making him soft, it’s me... and I’m only just beginning.
––––––––
It takes me a full five minutes to realize I’m actually awake. Soft, warm feathers tickle my bare thighs, keeping me almost sedated even after I remember what those feathers are attached to and who they belong to – and it’s the silence that actually wakes me up.
No annoying song. No Christmas music at all. Just sweet, sweet silence.
Glancing up, I see Adrian’s honey brown eyes staring down at me with a warmth of their own. It makes me homesick for a time I’ll never get back, a version of him I only catch glimpses of now. But as far as glimpses go, this is a pretty good one.
“Morning,” I mumble sleepily. “Seems like somebody’s feeling better.”
“Nah, I still hate everything,” he jokes, the soft smile on his face giving him away. “You slept well, huh?”
His fingers slide along my thigh, but he makes no move to take it any further. Almost as if he just wants to touch me.
“You have a DJ who gives away your emotions and you’re still lying to me.” Shaking my head, I try and roll over — the little shit has me pinned.
He looks around the room curiously as if he’s waiting for the silence to end. “I guess I can stop lying, it’s not like you can go anywhere.”
It’s not like I would even if I could. Yesterday was the weirdest day of my whole life, and yes I had a lot of doubts... but I’d rather wake up in Hell next to Adrian Graves than wake up topside without him. “Neither can you.”
“Speaking of...” His gaze flicks past me a split second before he’s grabbing something soft and pressing it against my chest.
It’s my Ouija body pillow. Sitting up abruptly, I hold it to my nose and breathe in the scent of home for what I imagine is the last time, then hug it tightly. “So who summoned you? I’ll get my knife.”
“I got that too. I know how much you like the engraved bow.” Rolling over, he stands up and tucks away his wings. “Would you consider becoming a demon like me if I said it was a woman?”
The amused expression on his face tells me he’s fucking with me, but I need him to answer some down questions before I stop playing nice.
“I’m considering it either way, but I’ve already proven I don’t need to be a demon to kill someone,” I mutter. “Especially a human.”
“Mmhm. Yeah, well turn your blade towards me once again, because I can go topside by myself. I lied.”
He has the audacity to look sheepish about it, and I just want to smack him.
Smack, not stab.
I hate being lied to. “Of course.” Scooting back, I put the pillow between us. “What else?”
His eyes are black again and locked on the Ouija pillow I’ve placed as a barrier. “Uh... I didn’t want to just talk to the guys, but I think that one was obvious.” His gaze meets mine. “I killed them on the way to your house.”
So much death, so much hurt, all because we live in a “stab first, ask questions later” society. Those men didn’t deserve to die, Adrian didn’t deserve to die. But I did, and I’m the only one left with a beating heart.
If I even have a heart at all, that is. Even now, knowing I should be upset with him for killing people, I’m just... not. He did it, even if it’s twisted, backward, and wrong, for me. For us. So he’d be the only one who knows what it feels like to touch me.
I belong here in Hell with him.
“Hm. And what about the women you fucked before me? Are they still alive?”
“If they existed, I’d hand you the knife and take you there.” Frowning, I bite back the urge to scream at him for lying again, but all I see on his face is truth. “I didn’t fuck anyone else all these years, Hellcat. I didn’t even consider it.”
“Well good for you, but I wasn’t talking about them. I was talking about the ones before me, Ade. I didn’t have any of those, but you sure did.”
“Oh... those,” he drawls lazily. “I forgot they existed. Would you like them to die?”
“No,” I say quickly. “I want to move forward and not dwell on the past. I’m the one you brought down here, so I’m the one you wanted. Right?”
His fingers flex with the urge to touch me again.
“Yes. I never came to see you because I knew I’d never be able to stay angry if I did.
My rage is the only reason I’ve made it this long, the only reason I haven’t succumbed to the demon inside of me and turned into a mindless bloodfiend.
But if I went up there and saw you had moved on.
..” His gaze drops from mine as the music starts up again, his jaw tensing. “I don’t know what I would have done.”
“Kill them, apparently.” Moving the pillow, I tentatively crawl back over into his lap. “You were it for me, Ade. I fucked that up and I know it, but there was never going to be anyone else. Not really.”
“Were?” he asks, fingers curling to grip my hips. “Is that past tense because I’m... this?”
This is it. I can’t explain how I know, but I do — this is the moment that will decide how we proceed.
I just wish I wasn’t staring into black eyes this time.
“It was only past tense because I was telling you how I felt when you were this and I was still... that,” I explain, gesturing toward the ceiling.
“And maybe a little because a big part of you still hates me. I already told you I never stopped loving you.”
His gaze flicks down to my lips, and when they meet mine again they’re exactly what I need to see. “It seems you believed all my lies. Not even as a demon could I ever hate you, woman. You’re still it for me.”
Tentative lips meet mine, a growl leaving him a split second before he deepens it and owns my mouth completely, hands pinning me to him almost painfully, but it’s the best thing I’ve ever felt. There’s no deception here, just two lost, broken souls finally coming back together.
As the room starts to shake around us, I attempt to pull back, but Adrian’s strong, determined, and kisses me so thoroughly that I forget anything is happening around us at all until he finally stops.
“What...? What happened? Was that some kind of Hell-quake?”
There’s a soft smile on his face as he nods behind me, and when I turn my head, I see why.
The room we’re in is bare. There’s no more Christmas tree, no more snow on the ground. The LED lights are gone, baubles and Santa statues nowhere to be found.
And the silence is fucking beautiful.
“Whoa,” I whisper. “Where’d it all go?”
He looks around the room to slowly take it all in, that grin seeming to find home on his sinful lips. “I guess I don’t hate Christmas anymore.”
This time I have proof this isn’t another lie, and that my Adrian is not only still in there, he’s the one in control now.
Scanning his face, I finally let myself believe that we have a future. Not one where he tortures me until I’m exactly like him, but a good one. One that will never end.
“What a shame, I was going to wrap myself up in a little bow and lay under the tree for you.”
Honey brown eyes lock with mine, and the fire I see in them makes me shiver. “And I was going to hang you from that mistletoe and kiss your pussy until you cried.” He leans in, trailing kisses down my neck. “Good thing we have all the time in the world.”
An almost giddy laugh bubbles out of me as his kisses turn to playful bites. Not only do I have him back, I get to keep him forever in this new, improved body.
Turns out he wasn’t just the love of my life, he’s the love of my afterlife too, and while I’m not entirely sure what that will look like, I know there’s no one else I’d rather be with.
Hell is starting to feel a lot more like Heaven.