Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
RIANN
Every click of my boot heels against the marble floor makes my stomach twist into a tighter knot as I walk away from Skylar’s office. Putting space between us right now feels wrong on so many levels, but I can’t sort out exactly how I feel.
It’s all too much, too fast.
Part of me is numb, trying to process everything that just happened. I still can’t believe I managed to seduce the female alpha, even though she had me crying out and coming minutes ago.
The other part of me is a torrent of emotions. Excitement clashes with relief and guilt, and it’s all wrapped up in a brittle coating of nerves.
My hands are shaking, my knees wobbling as I march toward the front door.
What have I done?
I try to act normally as I pass the receptionist desk, even offering a small wave before ducking my head and hurrying for the door. I reek of sugar and pine and sex, but hopefully what just happened isn’t that obvious.
I’ll never forgive myself if Skylar gets fired.
The second I step outside, the freezing air slams into me, cutting through my clothes and hectic thoughts. My bare thighs are freezing, made colder by the slick sticking to them. Shivering, I turn left and hurry down the sidewalk toward the hotel next door.
Hazy images from Skylar’s office flitter through my mind, but the icy bite of the air keeps me distracted until I reach the hotel.
The beta at the front desk cocks a curious brow at me as I rush by, but I don't slow down.
I jam my thumb into the elevator button and impatiently rock on the balls of my feet until the doors pop open.
I'm growing more uneasy by the second, and as the elevator doors slide closed to seal me inside the tiny space, I realize why.
I want my nest.
In fact, I've never yearned for it more than I do now.
I long for the comfort a perfectly made nest brings, and the warmth and peace that come with it. I want to wrap myself up tight and settle into the softness, preferably after it's been soaked in Skylar’s mouth-watering scent.
Unfortunately, all I have is the pitiful bed in my hotel room.
It'll have to do.
My phone pings as I step off the elevator, but I ignore it. I’m sure it’s Ziel; I haven’t updated him since I was in the waiting room, and I’m sure he has questions.
Questions that I’m not ready to answer.
I can’t decide if I want to squeal and kick my feet or crawl into my nest and cry, but the weight in my chest is undeniable.
At first, it feels like regret, but I know that can’t be it.
It was a stupid idea, and a reckless decision on both our parts, but I wouldn’t take back a second of being with Skylar.
In fact, I’d do it all again, even if it meant feeling this way.
She brought out a side of me I’ve never seen. Someone bold and carefree, someone brave. Every time she touched me, my skin lit up with little jolts of electricity, and when she kissed me…
My insides flutter at the thought, and I can’t fight the smile curling my lips.
Kissing her was everything.
I fumble with my key card and stumble into the room. My legs are sore and feel like jelly, but I manage to kick off my boots before collapsing straight onto the bed. I grab at the blankets, pulling them tighter and tucking them around me like a cocoon.
The smell of Skylar’s sharp, smoky scent clings to my skin, mixing with the faint scent of body wash still left on the sheets, and I take several deep inhales to breathe it in. Aside from the twinge of disappointment still tugging at my chest, this moment is everything I imagined it would be.
It had all been so perfect, like something out of a dream.
From Skylar on her knees in front of me, to her tongue dancing over my skin, to her kissing me until I couldn’t breathe…
“You have to go.” Her words replay in my head like a final goodbye, even though I know I’ll see her tomorrow.
I didn’t want to leave; I wanted to stay and revel in her closeness, but what choice did I have?
What we did was risky—downright insane—but I wish she would have let me stay a few more minutes. My skin itches for comfort only Skylar can bring, and I crave her affection.
Being chased away right after she made me come harder than I ever have stings, even though I know this is how it has to be.
I have so many questions I want to ask, but one that sticks out at the forefront of my mind.
What now?
Where do we go from here? She said this wasn’t a one-time thing, and that she wants me the way I want her, but I don’t know how it’s possible.
After she figures out what’s wrong with me, is there a chance of something serious between us?
Or now that she's gotten it out of her system, will she realize she's not as attracted to me as she thought?
My chest constricts.
Once I get my diagnosis, I’m flying back home to Georgia. There’s no preventing that. I’ll return to my life at the academy and then…
I don’t know.
The realization makes my smile falter, but I try to cling to the remnants of euphoria still making me numb. That’s a problem for later, long after the afterglow fades.
For now, I just want to enjoy this moment without stressing about hypotheticals.
My phone pings again, and I grumble, fumbling through the blankets to find it. It’s another message from Ziel.
Ziel: How’s it going?
Ziel: I need a sign of life please…
Ziel: I’m calling the cops if I don’t hear from you in five minutes.
I laugh out loud and roll my eyes.
Why do you always have to be so dramatic? I’m fine.
More than fine.
My stomach flip-flops again—these butterflies are unreal—and the feeling sinks between my thighs as more images of Skylar come to mind.
I quickly tap out another reply.
Just got back to my room. Might take a nap. I’m exhausted.
Ziel: Thank fuck. I swear you’re giving me gray hair.
Ziel: Exhausted from?
I giggle as I debate video calling him for a second until I remember I probably look like hell. I didn’t even bother looking in a mirror before I left the clinic. My makeup is probably a mess; I know my hair is.
Several long seconds pass.
Mission accomplished.
At least a hundred emojis follow, and I burst into a fit of laughter, laughing until my cheeks ache.
Ziel: I expect details after your nap. Let me live vicariously through you.
I roll my eyes. There’s no way I’m telling him all the juicy details, but there’s no one else I can share my secret with. Giving him the basic rundown won’t be so bad, right?
The weight of sleep is already tugging at my limbs as I settle further into the mountain of blankets.
Deal.
I shove my phone away, my eyelids drifting closed. The sweet smell of crisp forest wraps around my mind, turning my thoughts hazy as unconsciousness creeps in. The last thing I see before drifting off to sleep is Skylar kneeling before me, kissing her way up my thigh.
Then, I’m out like a light.