Chapter 36
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
RIANN
Skylar is here.
I still can’t believe it. Even though I'm holding her hand, and I can feel her warmth on my fingers and her scent in my nose, part of me wonders if I fell asleep in my room.
If I’m dreaming, I never want to wake up.
My heart thunders in my throat as we head down one of the connecting hallways, electric nerves skittering over my skin. One minute, I was trying to convince myself that the Wilder pack would be tolerable enough. The next, she was just there.
I really thought she was going to swing at their pack lead.
And the way she called herself my alpha…
My heart skips a beat at the thought.
She keeps up with me perfectly, and I carefully keep my eyes averted.
I don't trust myself not to burst into tears until we're completely alone. I don’t slow my steps, wanting to put as much distance between us and the mixer as possible. They’re chaperoned events for a reason, and even though couples occasionally slip away for privacy, it’s frowned upon.
I know I’m already on thin ice with the school after the dean’s threats, but seeing Skylar here immediately overrides any fear I have about punishment.
What are they going to do? Expel me?
“Where are we going?” Skylar asks, her voice low as she glides beside me.
I’m beating back the urge to stop in the middle of the hall and throw myself at her, to wrap myself around her and suck down as much of her scent as possible, like it’ll fill the hole that her absence burned through me. But I want privacy.
“We’re almost there,” I promise as we make another turn. I just hope the door is unlocked this time. If not, Ziel and I figured out how to break in a long time ago, but I don’t want to waste precious seconds when I could be doing more important things… like slamming my lips against Skylar's.
I could take her back to my nest, but that’s on the other side of campus—too far of a walk to make right now. Especially when my body is threatening to vibrate apart.
I need to be in her arms, and I need it now.
We stop in front of a classroom door, and I toss a cautious look down the hall to make sure we’re completely alone before trying the handle. A sigh of relief rushes out of me when the door pops open.
Skylar cocks an eyebrow and gives me a curious smile. It's so gentle and easy that it's like she didn't just square up with an entire pack and rip me away from them.
I drag her inside behind me, and the second the door clicks closed, I flip on the light. Most of the overhead bulbs have gone out, but the room hasn’t been used in so long that no one’s bothered to fix them.
Piles of chairs and desks are scattered throughout the room, and a few old, dusty cabinets sit tucked in a corner. There aren’t many secret spots on campus, so Ziel and I always come here to hang out in peace when we need it.
It’s not glamorous, but it gives us privacy.
I don’t even have a chance to open my mouth and spill the elaborate apology I’ve worked on for days. All I hear is her moan “preciosa” before she swallows me in her arms. I instantly melt, molding my body to hers as my hands fly around her middle.
“Skylar,” I say into her chest, her rich scent oozing around us until my head swims. “I’m so sorry. I…”
I pull away to look up at her, and her lips are instantly on mine, her tongue sweeping into my mouth. I whine against her, my tongue hungrily tangling with hers as she cups the back of my neck and buries her fingers in my hair.
It’s everything I’ve needed since I woke up the morning after my rut, all rolled into one intense, toe-curling moment of passion. Her scent, her taste, her touch…
It’s like I’ve been starved and she's the only one who can sate the desperate ache.
When she finally pulls back, she draws in a deep breath, her chest swelling as her thumb strokes my neck. The emotions on her face, coupled with her overpowering scent, sweep me away into the kind of love only mates know.
“I’m sorry for showing up unannounced,” she starts, her voice cracking as her hand moves to cup my cheek. “I'd apologize for dragging you away from the mixer, but there’s no way I was letting those fucking meatheads waste one more second of your life.”
The small growl that rumbles at the base of her throat says more than her words, and a thrill runs through me.
I've been trying to work up the courage to message her, but I didn’t know how to even begin.
After the way I treated her, after what I said, she deserves so much more than a text or a phone call.
Now, as I stare up at her, my mind has gone blank, and all I can see is my alpha.
My alpha.
“You came for me,” I say breathlessly, my heart threatening to shatter at the words.
The corner of her mouth hitches as she bends to take my lips. A moan falls from me, my fingers digging hard into her waist.
“Of course I did, preciosa.”
I suck in a breath, looking up at her with shining eyes. My knees are weak, and a lump forms in my throat. “B-but why? Why would you still come after everything?”
“You're not getting rid of me that easily.”
“I’m so sorry,” I croak, my eyes welling with tears. “Sorry's not even good enough. The things I said to you were fucking terrible, Skylar.” One of her arms slips around my waist, pulling me to her and holding me there. “I can't believe you even want to talk to me after that.”
I missed my chance to apologize before I left Boston, but I’m not making that mistake again. Her soft smile has retreated, and I'm standing with the woman who bared herself to me while I lashed out at her.
“You didn’t deserve any of it,” I go on. “It's not just that; I don't even deserve to see you here after all the shit I said.”
The tears sting, but I don't bother to wipe them away. I don't want her to think for one second that I've been out here happily searching for other alphas.
“I feel like I've been dying inside without you,” I whisper to her, the words nearly choking me. “And I was too afraid to text, worried that you'd tell me to fuck off. Or worse, that it would just hurt you more…”
Skylar presses a finger against my lips to hush me.
“I didn't come here for an apology,” she says, her voice low. She drops her hand, her arms wrapping around me again and dragging me closer.
“Then why?” The corners of my eyes burn with more tears. “Why would you come all this way for me? Why don't you hate me?”
“I came because I need you, Riann. More than I've ever needed anyone before.” Her voice is thick with longing as her dark eyes lock with mine, swallowing me with their intensity.
“When you left, it was like half my heart was ripped out of my chest. Do you know how hard it is to function with half a heart?”
My breath hitches. I do know, because it’s been almost unbearable without her.
“I thought I was doing the right thing by denying you my mark.” The way her voice cracks has my heart splintering. “But I realize I was just being a fucking idiot.”
I blink too hard, and a tear slips down my cheek. She promptly leans in and kisses it away, but another one falls right behind it.
“No, you weren’t.” I shake my head, gripping onto her hips to keep my hands from shaking.
“You were looking out for both of us, but I was too desperate to listen. I was just so excited to finally have an answer, a little ray of hope after my entire world nearly fell apart, that I wanted the easy way out. I wanted it all to go away.”
“I know.” She bends to press her mouth against mine as more tears slide down my cheeks. “I understand…”
“How can you? How can you understand when I was such a cruel bitch?” I try to wiggle out of her arms, but she keeps one wrapped firmly around my waist, refusing to let go.
“That wasn’t you, Riann.” Her tone is soft and stern.
“I saw what happened to you, the way your alpha instincts took over. You smelled different; you acted different. I know you were out of control, but it still stung to hear how you felt—whether it was the truth or not.” She heaves a sigh.
“I don't want you to feel like I can't give you what you need, because you're everything I need.”
A sob racks my chest. The truth, the understanding in her words when it’s the last thing I deserve, has my emotions in a chokehold.
“I do need you,” I choke. “I need you so bad it hurts, Skylar, but why would you want to be with someone like me?” My words are rushed and desperate, but I need to get them all out before I explode. “That shit will keep happening; I’ll keep losing control. I’ll… I’ll…”
“That's where I was wrong,” she says softly, brushing her lips feather-soft over my cheek, along my jaw. “You were right. I wanted to observe you like some kind of experiment, but I wasn't thinking about you, Riann. Despite everything I know about designations—fuck, I’ve studied them for years—I wanted to listen and understand and give you space so badly, but that wasn’t what you needed.”
I can't control the tears anymore, and my voice quivers. “I love you, Skylar. I love you so much, and it came out in the ugliest way possible. I can't believe I… I don't…” I give way to the hurt that’s been welling up inside me. “I don't ever want to do that to you again.”
“There's a way I can help with that, isn't there?” Her fingers follow the line of my shoulder, brushing over my collarbone.
I suck in a breath, my eyes widening. “W-what are you talking about?”
She pauses for a beat, her eyes locked with mine. “My bite, preciosa. If you can find it in you to forgive me for being a dense asshole, I’ll give it to you.”
The air vanishes from around me, and it feels like the floor has been jerked out from beneath my feet.
Did she…
Is she saying that…
“You want to c-claim me?” I stammer, my blood running hotter with every word that spills from my lips. A swell of smoky pine blooms in the air, so thick I can almost taste it. “What happened to waiting? To being rational? To more tests and research?”
“You happened, preciosa. You left and my entire world shattered.” A growl rumbles beneath her voice. “I realized that none of that matters, not when I feel this way about you. Fuck the research, fuck waiting.” Her jaw ticks, her throat bobbing with a swallow. “Nothing matters if I don’t have you.”
A beat of silence passes while I try to get my bearings. Skylar's scent choking me, coupled with the assault of emotions ravaging my mind, has me feeling light-headed.
I want to lie down.
No, not that. I want to crawl into my nest with her while we hold each other, wrapped in my mountain of cozy blankets.
“Are you sure?” I ask timidly.
She nods. “I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.”
My heart stutters at the thought of her leaning down, of her sinking her teeth into my neck until the bond takes hold. I might shatter apart with nerves. The thought of belonging to her, of proudly wearing her mark, has a needy whine tearing up my throat, and she smiles.
“Let me be your alpha, Riann,” she says, pumping more of her intoxicating scent into the air. “Let me take care of you and give you everything you could ever need. Let me mark you and make you mine forever.”
It’s the easiest yes of my life.
“Right now?” I ask, my breath hitching.
Her eyes dart around the room before sliding back to lock with mine. “As romantic as an old classroom is, I’m a little old-fashioned. I’d like it to be somewhere familiar, somewhere I can kiss you and fuck you nonstop to celebrate.”
“You can do all that right here,” I tease, gesturing to the pile of desks next to us. “Or… I can take you back to my nest.”
Skylar's eyes light up with a hungry fire that has slick pooling between my thighs.
Nest it is, then.