Chapter 60
Sixty
D espite the odds, I walked into World Cup the following morning feeling a little recharged.
I fell asleep shortly after Kova left with a lot still on my mind, though I slept soundlessly, even if it was only for a couple of hours.
That's what exhaustion did to me. On days when my body just couldn’t take another minute, it fell into a deep slumber and I slept like the dead.
Everything was put on hold and that's it.
I wish sleep always happened like that. Most days I tossed and turned in bed no matter how tired I was.
I sighed. I still needed to call and get the results of my blood work.
I'd missed the doctor's office call three times now due to training, and because I had forgotten to call back.
It slipped my mind and I assumed them calling meant they found the reason behind my low vitamin levels.
I prayed they had a better alternative to the damn shots they had prescribed.
I wasn't sure how much more I could take of those.
Speaking of shots, I'd have to ask Hayden to give me another injection soon.
I'd gotten to practice early to see how Kova was doing.
With the way he was last night, I was worried about him.
Something wasn't sitting well with me and I had this gut feeling he was trying to tell me something more.
We never had sex like that. Kova never showed his emotions, because it made him vulnerable, and he never allowed himself to be exposed.
But last night he had, and I wanted to understand why.
More than that, I wanted him to tell me what was on his mind yesterday.
I planned to leave our notebook in his desk at some point, so he could write down his thoughts.
Though we both expressed ourselves through touch last night and kissed our pain away, I knew Kova did better with writing it.
But he still wasn't here, which I found strange.
I quickly checked my cell phone to see if I had a text from him, but I didn't. I did have one from my dad checking on how I was doing, which I responded to, and one from Avery, which I ignored. I couldn't deal with her right now. I wasn't ready for that.
Stuffing my bag into my locker, I snuck the notebook into Kova's desk, then I made my way to the gym and started my morning conditioning for the next hour before practice began.
I couldn't stop checking the front door to see if he was about to walk in. Unease settling into my stomach, I was so anxious. Two hours passed and Kova still wasn't here. I was beginning to fear something had happened to him.
"What are you looking for?" Reagan asked, fixing her ponytail. She stomped her feet in chalk.
"What do you mean?"
"You keep looking at the front door. Are your parents coming to town since we have qualifications soon? Mine always come when there's a huge meet the week before. I hate it. It stresses me out big time, but they want to be there for me."
I regarded her, wondering why she was actually going out of her way to talk to me. "Yeah, my dad said he was going to try and come earlier. Apparently he has business in the next town over." The lie rolled off my tongue much too easily.
"That's cool. Are they going to dinner after?"
Creases formed between my eyes. I really wanted to ask her why she was talking to me.
"Dinner?"
"Yeah, there’s a big parent-coach dinner planned, but I think they're celebrating too."
I shrugged, applying chalk to my feet too. "Maybe, I have no idea."
"Well, I figured since they recently—"
"Girls! Line up on the floor!" Madeline yelled, cutting off Reagan.
Saved by the coach.
I smiled at Reagan.
We began with light tumbling passes crossed with dances skills before we started practicing our routines over and over.
The week before a meet was always so hectic but exciting.
At least it was for me. Lots of work and stress.
Lots of energy draining workouts. Some would say it's too much training, but it was necessary.
Ten vaults including timers.
Ten beam routines.
Two full floor routines.
Five bar routines.
This was my life for the next three days and most of it fueled by adrenaline, muscle memory, and a dream. A dream that could be ripped from me if I made one mistake and hurt myself.
I performed a round-off back handspring layout when something caught my eye.
Rebounding off the floor, I glanced toward the lobby and caught sight of Kova's back just in time as he strode inside marching toward the back, presumably to his office.
I smiled inwardly. I hoped he'd read what I wrote before coming out here.
Then maybe we could talk when he did another blading on my Achilles later tonight when no one was around.
I also needed to ask if he had picked up Plan B for me.
I really didn't want to take it, but after last night, I couldn't chance it.
I made a mental note to ask my doctor for birth control when I spoke to him later.
My cramping had been terrible lately, my cycles were off, and my last period was much thicker than usual, so I could always use that excuse to get on birth control.
Ten minutes later, Kova walked into the gym. Anticipation curled my belly at the sight of him. I shot a quick glance at him. He looked at me then quickly averted his gaze to the floor.
Kova pointed to one of the corners. "Get in line. You know what the week ahead looks like, ladies. I expect nothing less than perfection from you all. Winners train. I do not want to hear any complaints this week. Let us get started."
Walking briskly to the opposite corner, he dragged over a landing mat and stood a little in front of it.
Clapping his hands, he signaled for us to start.
Holly went first. She started running toward him, Kova bent his knees and eyed her steps, then stepped closer to her running form, gauging when she would take flight and flip.
He stepped in to spot her and raised his arms in the air to help her twist. His shirt rose, showing a hint of his toned stomach as he grabbed her waist with his forearm then guided her to stop with his other arm once she executed a double twist.
He gave her instructions and nodded, then waved for Reagan.
He repeated his stance and eyed her as she took off running.
As she went to perform a double back tuck, he popped her lower back up with his hand on the first rotation to give her a little more height, then raised his arms in the air to spot her landing, moving with her as she rotated.
Then, he nodded for me and it was strictly coach mode.
Taking off, I performed a full-in, a double twisting double back tuck with the first twist performed on the first back tuck.
His arms came up, helping me spin my twist a little faster, popping my lower back for more height and then putting his hand behind my back to stop the power.
"Good," was all he said when I landed. I looked at him, but he was already looking for Holly, waving at her to go.
I frowned. Good? That was all? He'd given my teammates suggestions and all I got was good? I didn't want to hear I did good, I mean, of course I did, but I wanted to hear where I needed improvement more. There was always room for improvement and I knew Kova lived by that.
I paid attention to Holly and Reagan. Kova gave them both detailed suggestions.
When it was my turn again, I looked into his eyes, but he wasn't looking at me, he was watching my feet to prepare to spot me.
I performed another full-in. I had so much momentum that I rebounded and kicked back with one leg. My heart dropped and Kova placed a hand on my stomach to stop me, then quickly removed it like touching me burned his skin.
I knew my mistake was because my chest was too low to the floor, a typical landing during warm ups.
And he said nothing. Absolutely nothing. This was a man who didn't like the way I breathed on the balance beam and yelled at me for it. But I take a huge step out on floor and he's tight lipped.
Something wasn't right.
I looked at Kova, but he was looking over my head for Holly, purposely avoiding my gaze. A sharp pain shot through my chest and I rubbed the ache.
I waited for Kova to give me instructions.
But nothing ever came. He just continued to look over my head. My stomach knotted and my face fell when I felt the springs of the floor recoiling from Holly taking off. With no option but to get out of the way, I got back in line.
The same thing happened the next ten, maybe twenty times I went.
I lost count. He said nothing to me, hardly physically spotting me, not that I needed it, and he wouldn't look me in the eye.
Detached and distant, after last night, this was the last thing I ever expected from him. Kova was a cold stranger on edge.
His lack of attentiveness was messing with my head big time.
Kova thrived on barking orders, yet he gave me none.
Not even a sigh. He demanded precision and perfection and dedication.
My dedication was there, but the way he was behaving, pretending like nothing I did mattered, when I knew in my gut everything I did mattered to him, threw off my perfection and precision.
I knew he knew that, he had to. There was no way he didn't notice I was off.
The man had an eagle eye, yet he was holding back from me, and it was making the cramping in my stomach much worse because I couldn't stop dwelling on it.
I chewed my lip, trying to figure out what to say when he finally spoke.
"Please, get back in line, Adrianna," he said above a whisper, still not looking at me. "Please." The tightness in his voice rendered me speechless. All I could do was nod silently and turn around.
As I walked to the opposite end of the floor, the front door to World Cup opened and in stepped Katja.