21. Amina Sinclair
Amina Sinclair
Gemini and I made it to Amarillo, Texas a couple of days ago.
True to my word, a few days ago, when we were in Kansas City, and Gemini had the day off, I spent most of that day on the phone, calling different women’s health clinics in Amarillo, Texas, trying to get an appointment in.
At one point, I started feeling like maybe God was trying to tell me not to do this because every office that I called, they were telling me that it wasn’t any availability.
I stopped calling around, feeling like I might have been forcing it.
Literally, that same day, hours later, one of the offices called back, telling me that they had a cancellation yesterday, saying that I could come in for the afternoon.
So, I took the appointment that they now had available, and I went in yesterday.
Ya’ll, I laid my ass on that table, and had the doctor remove the IUD out of me.
I knew I was in love for real because even when I was with Jacob, it never even crossed my mind to take the IUD out until after we were married.
The way I loved Gemini, and the way that I knew he loved me, I just felt it in my heart that this was my final stop.
I knew that him, and I were in this thing for the long run.
Here I was, in the sleeper, lying on my side in bed, cuddled up with my teddy bear, Bruno.
The doctor told me yesterday that I was going to have mild cramping, and some bleeding, and I felt like her ass was putting it mildly on the cramps because I was cramping my ass off. The bleeding was mild though.
Gemini was up front, driving. For the most part, I preferred to be up there with him when he was driving, but the way I was cramping, my body wouldn’t allow me to sit up straight in the seat like that. I had to lay down.
My eyes were closed as I was laying down, and right when I was comfortable enough, and felt as if I was getting ready to doze off, my phone started ringing.
I felt around the bed, searching for my phone, until I finally got a hold of it.
I looked at the contact name, seeing that it was Ariel calling me.
Ariel was my friend back in London. We worked together.
She was one of the senior designers that I worked alongside every day.
Because there was a time when we were working closely with each other all the time, it caused us to become friends.
She had an invite to my wedding and everything and had been counting down the days to the wedding, just as I have.
Ariel was one of the people that I had to send a message to, letting her know that the wedding was no longer on.
I remember her blowing up my phone, not stopping until I answered for her.
I answered the phone crying, and my cries caused her to cry right along with me.
I shared with her the news, and it broke her heart, but just like everyone else, she poured into me, giving me motivating words to get through what I was feeling.
After I left London, and came out to Miami, Ariel wouldn’t overwhelm me with text messages, but she would reach out every so often, just letting me know that she was thinking about me, and if I needed someone to talk to, that I could always call her.
Even though the plan had been to take a nap, I was going to go ahead and answer the phone for her because we haven’t spoken in a while.
“Hey Ariel,” I answered, sitting up in bed. I didn’t want it to sound like I was being lazy, just lounging around.
I was so used to using my time wisely. Doing something constructive and working. I told Gemini all the time that I felt so lazy being on this truck with him, and every time I told him that, he would correct me, telling me that I wasn’t lazy, and that I was doing exactly what I should be doing.
“Awww, Amina. I feel like I haven’t heard your sweet voice in forever.
I thought about you this morning. We had a client meeting a couple of hours ago, and the Williams Group asked if you were back yet.
Girl, they came to us with this hotel design, but they’re stuck.
All of them were in here saying the same thing, which is that if Amina were here, she would have come up with something in less than ten minutes.
Everyone is feeling your absence, girl. You know no one does it like you,” Ariel finished, saying this to me in her British accent.
I loved Ariel’s voice. I’ve been telling her that ever since we met.
“Don’t say it like that because you’re going to make me feel bad,” I responded, causing her to laugh on the other end of the phone.
I missed my career. I miss my work friends as well.
I missed the hour-long meetings that we would sit in, sketching, coming up with ideas.
Those moments, I often felt so connected to my father.
Working in the career field that he worked in always made me feel like I had to overly do my job because if he was up there looking down at me, I wanted him to be proud of my work.
Even in his absence, his opinion meant a lot to me.
“I promise I’m not trying to make you feel bad. How is it going for you though? Last time we spoke, you were at a hotel in Miami. Is that where you still are?” she inquired.
“No. I’m not in Miami right now. I haven’t been in Miami in over a month. I’m on the road,” I kept my answer simple, even though I knew that Ariel was going to dig for me to spill more of the tea.
“You’re on the road by yourself?” she asked me.
“No. I’m with someone,” I said, and when I said that, she laughed.
“Oh, so you’re going to make me beg it out of you?
Amina, who? Who are you on the road with?
I want to know. After what Jacob did to you, you deserve to move on, and if you have, I’m glad you did.
Spill it before my next meeting starts in ten minutes,” she went on, and I laughed, while throwing my head back against the headboard.
Like a little schoolgirl, I sat here, pulling my legs together, smiling as I thought about my man. Just thinking about him brought me so much happiness. I was in love for real. You truly couldn’t fake this feeling.
“He’s my boyfriend. We didn’t just meet.
I’m best friends with his sister. Him and I were just never close though.
His sister thought that it would be a good idea for me to get on the truck with him, after everything happened with Jacob.
She thought that this trip would help me escape and forget about it.
Girl, it did. I fell in love with him,” I voiced, and after I finished, Ariel screamed in my ear.
She was so happy. It was to the point that I had to pull the phone away from my ear. I did it with a smile though. I loved her reaction. I was afraid that people were going to tell me that I was moving too fast, but so far, no one has said that.
“I love that for you, Amina. That just seems so romantic. Something that you’ll read about or watch on TV.
You sound so happy. Even when you answered the phone, I could tell that you were in good spirits.
The last time we spoke, it broke my heart hearing you like that.
Now, when I called, I’m not going to lie, the plan was to try to convince you to come back.
We all miss you and your eye so much over here.
After hearing your voice, and taking in how happy you sound, I won’t even convince you.
Stay right there with that man and continue to be happy.
You deserve it. You are a beautiful person in and out. You know that,” Ariel finished.
Her words made me tear up just a little bit. Everyone has been telling me that I deserved this love. Gemini was doing a damn good job at delivering it too.
I talked on the phone with Ariel for a few more minutes. She told me that she had to get ready for her meeting. She promised that she would reach back out in a couple of days to speak to me again.
I was no longer sleepy, so instead of lying back in bed, I decided to bring Bruno, my throw blanket, and my phone up to the front with me.
As I sat in the seat, Gemini turned his head so that he could look at me quickly.
He was on the highway, driving in his wife beater, and basketball shorts.
Because he was sitting, his shorts rose up his thighs a little bit, so I got the pleasure of seeing those big, muscular thighs of his.
His left hand was on the steering wheel, controlling the truck.
The music was turned up a little bit, but once he saw that I was up here with him, he turned it down.
“You still cramping?” he wanted to know.
“Only a little bit,” I said, fixing Bruno in my lap, and wrapping the throw blanket over me.
“Hopefully, it’ll stop soon. Ima take an exit in a few more minutes. I’m hungry,” he told me, and I chuckled at that.
“Gemini, you’re literally always hungry. I think you say that at least ten times a day. You want me to get you something from the back?” I asked him.
“Nah baby. I’m good. Thank you though,” he said, and I just nodded my head.
I was quiet for a few seconds before clearing my throat, getting ready to start up a conversation with him.
“One of my colleagues from back home just called me. She was telling me how everyone misses me over there. They had a meeting this morning with a business that we’re contracted with, and even they were talking about how much they miss me,” I shared with him. When I said that, it made him smile.
“That means that you left your mark in London, baby. I ain’t going to lie to you, that shit kind of makes me feel a little bad.
I’m happy we together, and I’m looking forward to what the future has in store for us.
At the same time, I don’t want to feel like the man that pulled you away from your old life.
I don’t want to pull you away from the things that made you happy, you know?
” he asked me. When he said that, the smile that was originally on my face was quickly turned into a look of sadness.
“So, you think that I should go back to London?” I asked, and the second I asked it, he sucked his teeth and looked at me like I was crazy.
“How was that your take on what I just said? I don’t want you to go back to London.
Not ever. I’m on this truck with you, speaking marriage and kids.
You just had your IUD taken out. All I was trying to say to you is that I’m a man with feelings.
I feel bad that you’re getting pulled away from the things in London that made you happy.
Even though I feel bad, I don’t feel bad enough for me to tell you to go back,” he said to me.
“Then word it like that the next time,” I shot, and with a shake of his head, he laughed, while pulling down on his beard.
“Either way, it means the same shit. You interpreted it the way you did because even though I’m on this truck giving you all this convincing, and love, there’s still a piece that lives in you that’s afraid that I’m going to do you like your clown ass ex,” he voiced.
“That’s not true. I know you won’t do me like that,” I defended myself.
“You do because the second I said what I said, you were quick to switch up my words and ask if I was trying to say that you should go back to London,” he went on.
“Because that’s the way I took it. I do trust you though, and I know you aren’t going to hurt me. Change the subject because you’re trying to start up a debate and my stomach hurts too much to be debating with you,” I sassed, and he laughed.
“It’s no debate, baby. We having conversation. I was checking you, yet again. Reminding you that I’m not shit like that goofy white boy that you had back in London,” he went on, and I allowed him to have it. Like I said, I was cramping, and I didn’t have the energy to go at it with him.
I had no plans to go back to London to live.
When I did go back, it will be to visit my mom.
As long as she was there, I was going to continue to make trips to London to see her.
She was the only living parent that I had left, and I would never be able to forget about her.
She was the only thing that would keep me coming back to London though.
Everything else was just a thing of the past. My present, and my future is wherever the hell Gemini was going. If it was Miami, then Miami is where I’ll reside. I’ll pick up where my father left out in Miami.
Maybe this was God’s way of bringing everything full circle.
My father had already built a name for himself in Miami, but there was still so much work that he had left to do.
I could come back to Miami and continue that legacy.
I made a name for myself out there in London in the architectural world.
With my father’s blood running through me, my smartness, and the eye that I had, I know for a fact that I could make a name for myself in Miami as well.