Expanding Command (Intricate Ties #6)

1 - The Search

Miles Bennet

The tightness in Miles Bennet's stomach made it difficult to sit still. Shifting restlessly in the passenger seat of their car, he tried to stretch his legs, jamming the toes of his sneakers into the hard plastic ridge where the dash met the floor.

In the driver's seat beside him, his husband, Darren Quinn, was serene in comparison.

His hands gripped the wheel loosely, watching the road as the voices on the kink podcast he'd downloaded filled the air.

As if they were driving somewhere completely normal, like parent-teacher interviews instead of an exclusive, overnight black-tie party in Boston.

Miles traced the ridge in the molded plastic of the door's armrest with his thumbnail, managing to avoid playing with the button for the windows. Did Darren realize how on edge he was? Miles looked over again at his husband, who took his eyes from the road for a moment to reassure him with a smile.

"Let's stop for gas and a coffee. I could do with a stretch." Darren turned onto the exit ramp from the highway, heading towards a gas station, and Miles gave a sigh of relief.

Of course, Darren understood his nerves. Sometimes he thought Darren knew him better than he knew himself. He got out of the car to pump the gas before Darren could say anything, taking joy in even a small opportunity to thank his loving husband through an act of service.

"Can I drive for a bit?" he asked, as he flicked open the gas cap and grabbed the nozzle.

Darren joined him at the pump, stroking across his shoulders to stroke the back of his neck. The familiar, heavy weight of his hand and the warmth of his skin were grounding, making Miles suddenly notice how much tension he'd been holding. "Of course. We can talk while you do."

It was a relief to have something to focus on, adjusting the car seat and settling into the long drive. It was better to know that Darren had at least seen the strange, nervous energy that had left Miles not quite sure what to do with himself.

Darren rested a hand over his on the gear shift, anchoring him again with touch. "What are you worried about right now, pet?"

Miles sighed in relief, more of his uncertainty bleeding away. Darren's word choice - the simple, gentle title - was even more grounding than his touch had been.

"I'm ready for this," he said, letting out a long breath and focusing on the excitement of the statement. "I want to do what you do, or at least a bit of it. We've never been to Boston, so we won't really know anyone there. That means possibility. I want to find another couple together."

Darren nodded, and when Miles glanced over, he was smiling softly.

"I have a good feeling about tonight, too.

Now, tell me what part of it you're worried about.

" After nearly four years of being together, Darren's understanding of how to lead and mentor him was intuitive and masterful.

His husband had recognized that he was struggling and moved to gently take control.

"Everything?" Miles admitted. "How will we know if someone is right?

I don't want to just... I don't know, jump into something with some sweet little thing making eyes at me, even if his boyfriend - and my husband - are encouraging it.

And sex gets so complicated for me, I don't even know if I could jump into something - "

"Then we don't jump into something," Darren replied, unfailingly logical. "We don't need to do anything you aren't ready for. We'll have an amazing time regardless."

Miles glanced away from the road to give his husband a dubious look. "It's been almost a year since you asked to mentor me."

"It has, but there's no deadlines for that, love. We have our entire lives together to figure this out."

Miles tapped his fingers against the steering wheel and sighed. "I know. I know, I just... maybe I'm worried about disappointing you."

"You could never, pet."

"Disappointing myself, then."

Darren hummed. "I can understand that. You are ready, though. When you take command of someone, you'll feel it. Same as you do with me."

Miles couldn't help but smile at the reminder of their joyful switching. "We're just playing around, though. I really don't think what I find with a sub will be that way."

"Of course not, but that's the point," Darren agreed, and Miles glanced over again to find him grinning, wide and warm and lopsided.

"Whoever we find for you will be someone who truly needs to surrender to you.

Commanding them will be easier, and much more rewarding, because they won't be a cheeky little brat. "

"I like your playful surrender," Miles returned with a pout. Some very nice memories half-distracted him. Honey dust and Darren on his knees, disobediently running out his timer while edging him. "I like how we are when we switch."

"I do too," Darren assured him. "It makes me so happy to play like that with you.

But you deserve a real sub." He stroked up Miles's arm and along his shoulder, caressing the back of his neck again.

"I want you to feel how rewarding it is when someone devotes their entire self to your will and places their heart in your hands.

The same way you did for me, my love. You deserve to feel the strength and gratification of truly being their caretaker. "

For every time Miles had convinced himself that he could be like Darren, he'd had an equal amount of doubt. It had never been stronger. "You changed my life," he pointed out helplessly. "I'd never have gotten here without your love."

The adoration in Darren's smile soothed the aching uncertainty inside him. "And you me," Darren said, soft and serious. "I know it might be hard to believe, but the power exchange we gave each other doesn't have to involve sex or desire. Just care, and trust, and vulnerability."

But what if it does? Miles wanted to ask. What if he desires me and I can't return that? What if -

"It'll be okay," Darren assured him gently, rubbing his fingers into Miles's tense, aching traps. "There are so many ways to meet a sub's needs. I do this for a living, remember? I'll be with you, Miles."

He did have a point. Plus, there was a certain appeal to the idea of ordering a helpless, needy devotee to please himself, as Darren had once done for him. "Even though we're going to a sex party?"

"We're going to a black tie event," Darren corrected smoothly. "And we're in charge."

"You don't think it's completely unreasonable? That we'll be - I don't know, giving people unrealistic expectations we aren't planning on delivering on?"

"No. Think about the events we've gone to already, love.

" Darren's smile was bemused as he continued to slowly work the tension from his neck.

Darren's own experience was always a reminder of how far Miles still had to go, of course, but it was impossible not to take comfort in it.

This wasn't a journey he was taking alone.

Darren would be beside him every step of the way.

"I know you're often distracted with your service to me, but try and take a step back from that. "

Miles snorted. It was true, of course. When he was serving, Darren became his whole world in ways he'd never imagined could be possible. His memories about others were all wrapped up in the pride and gratification of how his service to Darren affected them.

But they'd spent months now at events in other capacities.

Darren had been instructing him in knotwork, Shibari, and the art of command.

They'd done an entire day of tying harnesses on people for charity at a local festival, and more practice ties with people they knew.

That was what Miles wanted more of, and what Darren wanted for him.

"So no hooking up tonight," he said, relief filling him in a rush. "We're in charge. Within the bounds of whatever we agree to with a new couple."

"No hooking up with another couple," Darren replied with a grin, a twinkle in his eye when Miles glanced over. "This will be about testing the waters. Seeing if we want more. Then we take it one step at a time."

~~~

One step at a time, Miles reminded himself as Darren slowly brought him out of the suspension they'd just finished.

His throat was delightfully sore from having served Darren's pleasure, finding his own catharsis and release in that accomplishment.

Worshipping Darren always made him feel powerful and cherished.

It was a quiet, grounding reminder of the courage he'd found when he'd first pushed their relationship past the professional healing and sanctuary he'd hired Darren for, towards the deep love and partnership they enjoyed now.

It had never felt like this before.

There'd been no disappearing into the subspace of suspension he normally craved.

As soon as he'd noticed the couple watching them from across the room, it had been impossible.

But he hadn't been left struggling to connect in the chaos of the party.

Darren's ropes and Darren's control had still focused him.

Except that focus had expanded along with Darren's own attention, captivated by the two men they'd discovered.

It was as if the only thing that existed in the room had been them and this other couple.

He hadn't been able to look away from them, and neither had Darren.

Every look the pair had cast their way had been another loop of rope, capturing his attention and desire as certainly as Darren's ropes wrapped around his body.

The heat and desire in their gazes crackled across the space between the couples.

It was somehow strengthened by the connection between the two onlookers, how they always seemed aware of each other.

Even while watching his and Darren's rope play, they still murmured the most encouraging things to each other about the performance, their passion and pleasure growing palpably as they made love.