Chapter 20
Chapter
Twenty
Logan
My hands are shaking so violently that I can hardly focus.
I'm afraid if I blink wrong, I'll ruin everything.
Salem's bright, grey eyes sparkle, her pretty, swollen lips parting on a moan as I increase the pressure on her clit.
My gaze runs over her body, so beautiful against the low glow of the lamp.
I know every freckle on her chest, but I count them anyway, lowering my head to take one of her perfect pink nipples into my mouth.
I've always loved her tits—small, cute and just the right size to fit in my palms. I'd be lying if I didn't often wonder what they'd look swollen with milk, how gorgeous she'd be pregnant. Even though I know it'll never happen.
Salem rocks her hips over my thumb, warm and wet and so fucking soft. I’m so hard that I can't even think straight. My cock throbs painfully, leaking into my underwear.
“Come here,” she says quietly, tugging on my hair. I release her nipple with a pop before kissing and licking my way to her mouth. “Take off your belt.”
God, I've wanted this for so long. I’ve prayed for this, spent so many nights shamefully jerking off to the memory of her, and now she's right here beneath me, naked and ready. I nearly blow on the spot.
My fingers work the buckle open quickly, and I seal my lips to Salem’s.
She takes the leather from my hands and secures it around my neck, giving herself a handle to hold onto.
I strip out of my pants and underwear at the same time, letting them both fall to the floor.
As soon as my cock springs free, Salem wraps her palm around it, causing me to suck in a harsh breath.
I reluctantly break off the kiss to peer between our bodies, watching her stroke me slowly while I play with her clit. We're both soaked, sticky, and I move forward slightly to run the tip of my dick through her slick heat.
“Fuck,” she whispers, cheeks flushed. Her gaze meets mine when she hauls me closer with the belt, lifting her leg to my shoulder.
Every instinct screams at me to push forward, to slam inside her, but I use all my strength to pause for some common sense.
“Have you been with anyone else over the last year?” I blurt, wincing when she freezes beneath me. Her eyes widen, something flashing in their depths before she lowers her lashes and sinks her teeth into her bottom lip. Hesitating. “I'm just wondering if I should… put on a condom.”
Salem huffs and lets go of my cock, refocusing her attention to the ceiling. “I don't have anything if that's what you're asking.”
My chest aches, and I lick my lips nervously. “That doesn't answer my question.”
“Do you really want to know the answer?” she counters with a scowl. “Yes, okay? I’ve fucked around. Happy?”
Not really, because I want to know who, specifically. Or someone, specifically. Has she been sleeping with Devon this whole time? They were fucking before.
But I can't ask that. I'm too much of a coward. I just keep rubbing my cock along her warmth to get our momentum back. Salem stays silent for a few moments before reaching for my hand.
“Have you?” she whispers.
I stiffen, unable to look at her straight.
My heart rate kicks up, blood pulsing in my ears.
Sweat breaks out on the back of my neck as nausea churns in my gut.
If it weren't for the fact that I've wanted her like this for so long, her question would have killed the mood.
My dick has a mind of its own, though. It's aching, throbbing to be inside her.
So I shake my head, adding to the long list of sins I'll be going to Hell for. “No. No one.”
Lying. Adultery. Sodomy.
Check, check, check.
Salem seems to let out a sigh of relief, twisting up my conscience even more. All thoughts disappear, though, when she grabs my length again and directs me to her dripping entrance. “Fuck me, Logan. I need you.”
Self-control has left the building. Almost of their own accord, my hips push forward and my cock eases inside her. Tight warmth surrounds me like velvet. It only takes a few thrusts before I’m fully seated, groaning at the wet heat engulfing my dick.
“Oh, God.” She throws her head back and yanks on my leash. “Move, baby. I need it hard. Please.”
Don’t mind if I do. I release a ragged breath and withdraw, only to slam back in again. The sound of her begging is like music in my ears. Usually, I'm the one pleading in our dynamic to touch her, taste her, kiss this gorgeous fucking body. Right now, it's mine.
“All. Mine,” I grit through my teeth, emphasizing each word with a punch of my hips.
Salem cries out, lifting her other leg as she pinches a nipple.
Our gazes lock when I grab the back of her knee and push it to her chest, thrusting hard.
That seems to hit the right spot, because her eyes roll back in her head.
It's a position she's had me in before with the strap, and holy shit, it feels so good.
So deep. My balls slap against her ass, the sound echoing around the room along with our heavy breaths.
“I…” Trailing off, I lean forward to bury my face in her neck, inhaling her intoxicating scent. “Salem, I can't...”
“Don't you dare,” she snaps, tugging the belt until I choke. “Not until I come first.”
“I can't hold it.” I squeeze my eyes shut and drop my thumb to her clit to distract myself. If I look at her, I'll come.
“Logan, fuck.” She moves with me, her thighs slick with sweat on my shoulders. “I'm so fucking close.”
Having my eyes closed isn't helping, not when she sounds like that. I open them just in time to watch her fall apart.
Salem tightens her grip on my throat, mirroring the way her pussy spasms around me, mouth falling open with a silent scream. The very moment she's done, I pull out and jerk myself off onto her chest, covering her tits in thick ropes of cum. Marking her. The only way she'll let me.
We gaze at each other, chests heaving. My hand is still wrapped around my deflating dick. A smirk curls her lips as she uses the leash to guide my face down to her chest.
“Good boys clean up their messes,” she says, raising an expectant brow.
I eagerly lick my release off her nipples with a groan, salty flavor bursting on my tongue. Part of me wishes I could rewind time and finish inside of her so that I could taste it on her pussy—and make my wife come a third time.
Once she's satisfied, I collapse onto the bed beside her. She surprises me by curling into my side with a content sigh, draping one leg over mine after removing the belt from my neck. Neither of us speaks for a long time.
Her fingers lazily trace shapes along my ribcage while mine dance down her spine. It feels almost… normal. Like we haven’t spent over a year being strangers. Like I didn’t just lie my ass off.
Her breathing evens out as she drifts off, but I’m not even close to passing out. Instead, I stare at the ceiling while guilt eats me alive. I wonder how long it’ll be before the truth rears its ugly head.
Because it will. It always does. I'd rather she find out from me than someone else. If she found out from Devon instead…
Shit.
“Salem,” I murmur, my voice hardly more than a whisper.
She hums groggily. “Hmm?”
My stomach twists into a knot. “There… there was someone else.”
She tenses in my arms but doesn’t pull away. “What?”
“Six months ago, before Matty and Xed’s wedding, I slept with someone. It wasn’t… it didn’t mean anything.” I get no response, so the rest forces its way out, the words bitter on my tongue. “It was a guy.”
Now she moves slowly, raising her head to watch me with an unreadable expression. The silence makes me shift uncomfortably.
“You lied,” she says finally, her voice flat. “You looked me right in the eyes and lied?”
“I know,” I choke out, reaching for her. “And I hated it the second I did. I just didn’t want to lose you again.”
Silently, she rips herself away from me, grabbing Taylor's hoodie before running for the bathroom. I flinch at the slam of the door and listen to the shower turn on full blast.
Five minutes pass. Ten. Fifteen.
I pull my clothes back on with shaking hands, heart hammering, my skin too tight. The room still smells like her. Like us. The dinner we never got to finish still covers the floor, and I do my best to clean it up while I wait.
When the bathroom door finally opens, Salem steps out yet again in another man's clothes. Her skin is red as if she'd been scrubbing it raw—washing away the evidence of what we'd done. She moves toward her bag, bloodshot eyes holding mine like a sniper locked onto a target.
Then she reaches inside, grabs out the divorce papers, and flings them at my chest. “Sign them right fucking now.”
They flutter to the floor like broken wings, scattering at my feet. “Salem—”
“No.” Pointing to the door, she glares as her entire body trembles. “Take the papers and get the fuck out, Logan.”
All I can do is stare at the tears glistening in her eyes. “You said you needed me.”
My voice sounds small, even to my own ears.
She crosses her arms like a shield, protecting herself from me. “I needed honesty. I've never lied to you, Logan. Ever. But all you do is ignore my boundaries and lie to my face. This was a mistake.”
Those words hit my heart like a bullet, tearing through every vital organ as they shred me to pieces. “It didn’t mean anything. I told you that.”
Her laugh is bone-dry. “Then why lie about it?”
“I panicked,” I admit desperately. “I was ashamed, I… I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“You already did,” she snaps, her lashes leaving wet marks on her cheeks. “And I was so fucking stupid to give you another chance. Get out.”
Before I can respond, she enters the bathroom again, leaving me alone in silence.
Numbly, I gather up my things, unseeing, unfeeling.
The door clicks softly shut behind me, but the sound is deafening. As I walk down the hall toward the RV, divorce papers clutched in one hand and the echo of her voice still ringing in my head, I realize the worst part isn’t that I lost her again.
It’s that I deserved to.