Chapter 26
Chapter
Twenty-Six
Logan
Why do hospitals have the most uncomfortable chairs?
Groaning, I stretch out my aching back and frown down at my shirt, still covered in blood from the helmet Salem shoved at me.
Huck sits beside me, bouncing his knee anxiously as we wait for Devon to get stitched up. We found him sitting on the curb next to his dented Ducati—and his face hadn't looked much better. Jesus, Salem really did a number on him.
I don't think I've ever seen her so angry.
Someone coughs loudly in the waiting room we're in, a few sniffle and sob. The overhead lights buzz, making my ears ache. I drop my head into my hands with a deep sigh. How the hell did everything get so fucked up?
“He's gonna be fine,” Huck says quietly, hands folded in his lap while his leg goes off like a jackhammer. “I think. Pretty sure.”
“Honestly, man? I'm not worried about Devon. He kinda had it coming.”
The knee bouncing slows slightly before picking back up again. “Yeah, he did. Guy's a douchebag. I don't get why Taylor invited him on this trip.”
Probably because Tay sees things we don't sometimes.
Reaching out, I place my hand on Huck's knee to still his movements. “You can wait in the car if you want. I know hospitals make you nervous.”
He turns to look at me with pinched brows. “I'm fine, but how are you? That was a lot back there. You okay?”
I stare at him for a moment and assess my emotions. Right now, they're currently running the gambit, but only one in particular keeps shoving to the forefront of my mind. “Do you think I'm a bad person?”
Huck blinks rapidly at that. “Define bad. Like, on a scale of Devon to Valerie?”
“No. Maybe. Like…” Licking my lips, I drop my gaze to my shoes, unable to look him in the eye. “What I did. With Devon.”
“You mean because you're both guys?”
There's an edge to his voice that grabs my attention, and I shake my head quickly. “That’s not what I meant, man. I mean the fact that I… I slept with someone that I thought was my uncle. And I'm married.”
And I lied about it.
Huck sighs before combing a hand through his wild curls.
“You knew he wasn't blood related when it happened, though. It’s not like Dev was ever around much. I've known you practically our whole lives, and I didn’t even know he existed until we were teenagers. As for Salem… You know marriage is more than just a piece of paper, right?”
“Yes, I know that.”
“Do you?” he presses, seeing right through my bullshit.
I shift uncomfortably under his attention. “I just… I thought if I did it, if I said the vows, the rest would follow. That it would… fix me.”
Make me what my parents and God wanted me to be.
Huck’s brows pull together. “Fix you?”
A bitter laugh escapes my throat. “You ever felt like there’s this... this version of yourself that you keep for everyone else, but no matter how hard you try, the real you keeps bleeding through?”
He leans back in his chair and lets out a long breath. “Of course I have. I hid myself from everyone all through junior high and high school, remember?”
“Yeah, well… I lied to her. To Salem. She wasn't a cover for anything, Huck. I really do love her. I'm attracted to her. But… sometimes men, too.”
“And you think that makes you a bad person?”
“I think it makes me exactly like my parents,” I mutter, my anger bubbling to the surface. The wounds of hurt and betrayal had barely scabbed over, and all of this shit just ripped them open again.
But what have I done except the same exact thing to someone I claim to love? She might not have been a ”beard,” but I'd be lying to myself if I didn't say that it was a bonus dating her—one I still can't bring myself to admit out loud.
Huckslee's quiet for a long moment as he studies the side of my face. It takes all my strength to finally meet his gaze, and I'm rendered speechless by the sadness swimming in his eyes.
“I’ve known you forever, Loge,” he starts, placing a hand on my shoulder. “And not once, not one fucking time, have I ever thought you were a bad person.”
Those words send a wave of pure relief crashing into my chest. He gives my arm a reassuring squeeze, and I have to swallow hard against the lump rising in my throat when he continues.
“You made a mess. A big one. But you wanna know a secret? Bad people don't agonize over whether they're bad or not. They just don't give a shit. You have time to fix this, man. And stop hiding from yourself.”
I suck in a breath, willing the stinging behind my eyes to stay where it belongs as I pull my best friend into a hug. “Thank you, Huck, for always being there. Even when I wasn’t.”
He chuckles and awkwardly pats my back. “You've been there, too. In your own way.”
We stay like that for a moment while people continue to cry and cough around us. When I finally pull back, Huck raises a brow as a smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth.
“Next time you spiral, though, maybe call me before you fuck your, uh… whatever Devon is.”
I force a laugh and wipe my runny nose, heat rushing to my cheeks. “Yeah. Noted.”
The tension eases slightly, but it still feels like a weight crushing my chest. I know I don't deserve forgiveness, and Salem will probably never speak to me again.
I should give her what she wants, sign those divorce papers and be done with it.
But there's still that fear in the back of my head that letting her go means admitting what I've tried so hard to deny.
My thoughts start to circle again when the door to the waiting room creaks open. A nurse steps through, her scrubs wrinkled and hair frizzy like she’s already been through hell tonight.
“Logan Peterson?” she asks, eyes scanning the room.
I shoot to my feet so fast that the chair screeches. “That’s me.”
She glances down at the chart in her hand. “Your brother is stable. He has a fractured nose, some dental trauma, minor contusions and a concussion. We’re keeping him for overnight observation, but you can pick him up in the morning.”
“Can I see him?”
The nurse hesitates. “He actually stated that he doesn’t want any visitors. I'm sorry.”
“Oh.” I force a tight smile to hide the confusing way my chest deflates. “Right. Of course. Thank you.”
She gives me a polite nod and turns, leaving the door swinging slowly behind her.
I stay frozen in place, staring at the floor as I try to process what the fuck is happening to me.
Huck pushes to his feet. “You okay?”
“No,” I murmur, even more confused than I was six months ago when this whole mess started.
Devon doesn’t want to speak to me. My wife can’t even stand the sight of me.
And I’ve got no one to blame but myself.