Chapter 50
Chapter fifty
Sage
I’m sore, in the good way from being used, and exhausted from the events at my house. The cut on my arm—which is now in a sling as per Barrett’s orders—aches. He’s right. It’s best if I don’t move it. The pain subsides if I keep it still.
After his shower, Barrett came back to unlock the cuffs and he carefully carried me into the bathroom where he had the water running in the tub, although he made sure to keep my arm out of the water.
Doctor’s orders, he’d said. But he gently washed it with a cloth while I soaked in the scented bubbles.
I pushed him. I needed him to break through the guilt and fear in his mind so that I could discover what he hid beneath it.
The truth. Not the lust and passion. Not the kink and dynamic, or the freedom we feel or the roles we play.
I needed to see the proof that when he says he’s keeping me, he’s keeping me because he can’t live without me.
But do I have a choice? What would he do if I asked him to let me go when this is all over? So far, that hasn’t been an option, but if I’m truly unhappy with him, will he let me free?
That answer alone will help ease my decision, but I’ve already realized I’m willing to give him some of my freedom. Barrett gives me a freedom that breaks all societal rules—but it doesn’t break me. I’ve never felt more like myself, or more connected to another person.
He’s stayed by my side all day, even as I tried to call my sister several times, but she’s still avoiding me. At least she sent a text after my last attempt. All it said was, I’m fine, but at least it was a start. I left her alone after that.
Barrett still stands beside me, his hand resting on my lower back as we talk with Fain and Paisley in the kitchen.
It’s time for the assassins to leave. He confided in me about the job while still lying in bed, explaining how they plan to dismantle the entirety of Dorian’s businesses so that it would be difficult for anyone to take his place.
The things Dorian has done curls my stomach.
My instincts were directly on target when it came to that man.
Tonight they’re taking out what they’re calling his managers, then tomorrow night they’ll take out Dorian.
“Behave tonight, kitten.” Fain cups Paisley’s jaw while peering into her eyes with his warning. A warning that carries the threat of punishment. Paisley grins and quirks a brow, but when Fain’s grip tightens, she gasps.
A thrill runs through me, familiar with similar threats and consequences. I glance up at Barrett, and he runs a finger down my cheek.
“Don’t leave the house. For anything. Let Paisley help you when you need something and get some sleep. We won’t be back until morning.”
“Okay, Daddy,” I whisper. Even knowing there won’t be any judgment from Paisley or Fain, I can’t help but keep this part to ourselves after the trying events of the past twenty-four hours.
“Same goes for you, kitten. Stay here. I’ll come get you when we get back.” Fain kisses her before letting her go and backing his way to the door.
Barrett does the same, but I stop him with a hand on his arm. “Barrett, I …” I love you. But do I? Can I love him if I’m unsure if I can stay with him?
His brow dips and he lifts my chin with his knuckle. “What do you want to say to me, pet?”
“Come back.” Because no matter what, I want him to come back to me.
He shakes his head. “Try again.”
“That was what I wanted to say.”
“Don’t lie.”
I close my eyes for a moment to gather courage and when I open them again, he’s looking down at me with so much desire it hurts. “Do you have anything to say to me?” I ask.
His jaw tightens. Leaning down, he pauses a breath away from my lips.
“So much,” he whispers before kissing me, saying it all with the duel of lips and tongue rather than allowing his words life.
Seems we’re either both too stubborn to say it or both still trying to sort through our feelings, despite what we know about one another.
He doesn’t say anything else after breaking the contact. Fain waits at the door and after one more glare filled with warning for each of us, they’re gone.
“I always need a distraction when he’s out like this.
He thinks I sleep. I don’t. I watch movies all night and then just as I hear the alarm for the gate, I rush to bed and pretend to wake up when he comes in.
” Paisley grabs the box of popcorn from the counter and pulls out a bag to put in the microwave.
“You really think he doesn’t know?”
She shrugs one shoulder. “He hasn’t been able to prove it yet.”
“What will happen if he does?”
“No idea, but I look forward to finding out.” A blush runs up her cheeks and I laugh.
I understand. Last night wasn’t the first time I pushed Barrett to follow through on a threat and it won’t be the last. I don’t regret a moment of that punishment, or the mild humiliation of being left strapped to the bed with his cum dripping from my core.
That only excited me more. It’s the same feeling I get when he turns me into his fox.
We settle onto the couch after grabbing more than enough blankets and cushions to make us feel as if we’re resting in a large nest, then we turn on the movie, passing popcorn back and forth.
I frequently check my phone, hoping Nova will text me again, on her own this time. But it’s a useless hope.
Paisley’s right, we need the distraction. It doesn’t take long until my thoughts drift toward Barrett, despite the fact they haven’t been gone long. Purely for the distraction, I send Nova another message, staring at the screen to see if the three blinking dots will appear. They don’t.
This is going to be a long night.