Chapter 15 #2
Jason’s hand slipped under my shirt, warm palm against my smooth skin. It made me tense all over, my toes curling inside my shoes in what space they had. I squeezed my fists around Jason’s jacket and pulled him in, kissing him as if he belonged to me.
I didn’t fool myself into thinking that he did, but he wanted me now, and I was a whole new Bennet because of it.
I was someone who could live in the moment and not overthink it, as I always would have.
I was someone who could simply do this with Jason and not fall apart tomorrow over the uncertainty of our future together.
Jason kissed me harder, thrusting his tongue into my mouth freely and knowing I wouldn’t just welcome him, but match his excitement.
There was something deeply liberating about licking Jason just like that. I never would have done it with someone I didn’t trust. Zooming out, this would have looked like the most awkward, weirdest thing to do to someone. Except…
Except.
Except it was Jason.
Jason, who only grinned and teased and made himself ready for more.
Jason, who would match my freak and double down at every turn.
Jason, who wanted me as much as I wanted him.
Well, that part was debatable. I had no idea what Jason really wanted. I just convinced myself that I didn’t know either way.
I ran my fingers through Jason’s hair, feeling the coarseness of his curls. His full, honey-sweet lips dragged over mine before I closed my hand around a fistful of his hair and pulled his head back. “I want you…” I said, losing my breath and trying again. “…to use me. However you want.”
Jason’s eyebrows rose a little, curiosity and interest sparkling in his dark eyes. “Like a toy,” he said, not exactly asking.
“Like a toy,” I said, words vibrating on my lips and sending tingles down into my groin. My stomach was hollow, and my heart thundered as I heard the sound of my own voice. “If you could do anything,” I whispered, pulling him close to feel his whole body press against mine. “What would you do?”
“Everything, Bennet,” he said, voice dropping an octave lower and sending a deep rumble through me. “Every delicious, sinful thing you can think of.”
I nodded. “Do it.”
Jason’s hands took me by the hips, lifting me easily off the ground until I gasped and bit my lip to keep myself from yelping in surprise. My legs wrapped around his waist, and my upper back slid against the door as Jason moved his hands lower, grabbing my ass and supporting my body.
I threw my arms around his shoulders and leaned down, kissing him from above as locks of my hair fell onto his brow. My glasses got in the way, just like they always did, and I pulled my head back to take them off.
Jason lifted one of his hands, still holding me like it was nothing to him, and reached for my glasses. He took them gently, making my heart flutter once, then set them on the dresser by the door. The gentle, caring move ended, and Jason pulled me down to keep kissing me.
He carried me to the bed in three big steps, then bent down, making me tense up all over because he couldn’t possibly remain balanced like this, but he did. I could feel his muscles flexing and locking as he bent down and placed me onto the mattress.
“Take off your clothes for me,” he said in a deep purr that sent needles down my arms. “Slowly.”
Lying on the bed, catching my breath, I looked at the towering figure before me and the glowing coals of his eyes. Jason bit his lip, waiting patiently, and I began to untuck my shirt, undoing the button on my pants and pulling the zipper down.
Jason shrugged his jacket off and crossed his arms on his chest.
Before I pulled my pants down, I resisted the intensity and the weight of his gaze. I began unbuttoning my shirt instead, one after another, undoing them bottom up, and revealing spans of my flat stomach and my chest, little by little.
A corner of Jason’s lips ticked upward, amused, and his nostrils flared as he drew a shaky breath into his lungs.
I lifted my torso to take the shirt off, throwing it on the floor and pulling myself higher up the bed, sliding a little out of my pants. There was no mistaking what he was doing to me. My cock pitched a tent in my black briefs, stretching them thin where the tip pushed the hardest.
I throbbed even as his gaze swept the length of my body.
No matter how many times I had given myself to this flaming, irresponsible, impulsive desire between us, it never felt old. It never felt anything other than fresh and new and devastatingly necessary. I needed it like I needed oxygen.
“Stop,” Jason said and took a step toward the bed.
Something glimmered inside my chest. There was no other way to describe it. It felt like I imagined brilliance to feel.
Jason lowered himself to his knees at the edge of the bed, pulling my pants to my ankles.
He took my shoes off, then threw my pants behind his back.
His hands rested on my ankles, then rose slowly along my shins, moving inward around my knees and tracing my inner thighs until my skin prickled and my breath hitched in my throat.
“You’re so fucking sexy,” he said.
I clamped my teeth around my lip and said nothing. For a moment, the instinct to call out a lie when I heard it stumbled.
He leaned in, his hot breath washing over my thighs as he brought his lips to my skin. The kisses trailed the length of each thigh up and down, his nose brushing over my underwear in passing. And when he moved over it, he paused, leaned a little deeper in, and drew a deep breath.
Jason’s shoulders shook as he inhaled the scent of me, and something tight uncurled inside of me. He wasn’t lying at all. He believed the words he had said.
“So fucking hot,” he purred again.
I grabbed a fistful of his hair and tugged his head up. He followed the motion happily, rising to the bed and lying flat on top of me, letting me kiss him like mad.
I undressed him bit by bit, lifting his hoodie first, then yanking his black sweatpants and underwear over his ass. Then I lost the last vestiges of patience and took my underwear off, rolling us over until Jason was on his back.
I needed him and wanted him and desired everything he would give me. Which was everything. Everything under the sun.
My lips peppered kisses down his chiseled torso and wrapped around his cock, sucking him deep into my mouth and failing to take even half of him again. But he pulsed in my mouth, and I knew that he didn’t need me to do more.
I wanted to. I wanted to make him feel as good as he made me, but I wasn’t there yet. Even so, the shudder that passed through his body was so strong that I felt it in myself, too.
Every good thing in life was right here, between us, in the moment of pure, unfiltered heat and passion.
Everything that I had ever held back, pushed down, and hid away from myself and the world came to the surface.
I was myself with him. I wasn’t a cutout of a college type that the world thought I was.
My fingers moved along his torso, letting me feel every flex and tremble in his muscles, nails scratching him playfully and making him tense as I sucked his cock deeper and harder with every passing minute.
Jason grunted and put a hand on the back of my head, cupping it but never pushing it down. He thrust his hips upward a few times, overcome with the desperate need for a little more, and I choked on his cock in my throat, but I loved it. I loved every second of it.
And when I lifted my head, my eyes teary and vision blurred, I could see him sprawling before me. He reached for his sweatpants and slipped a condom over his cock, and I handed him lube from my nightstand.
I didn’t want to be in a hurry. I wished I could take my time and make him feel good. But I couldn’t resist him. I never could.
He stroked his big cock with lube as I leaned down and kissed him, occasionally feeling his cock or his hand brush against my ass as I slowly inched down toward him.
I would be his toy. His dirty plaything. I would give him the world if I could. I couldn’t, though, and I couldn’t give him all my heart because he didn’t need that. But I could give him my body.
As I sat down on him, taking him into my body and shivering with the mix of anxiety and relief, Jason gripped my hips and kept me steady. He didn’t move. He never moved like this, always letting me find the right way to do it.
And little by little, I did. I took him in deeper, slowly and carefully, until I could breathe again, and Jason moved his hips up, lifting himself off the bed in a gentle thrust that impaled me deeper, making a moan rip free from my lips.
I slapped his chest with both hands and thrust my ass down on him, feeling his size inside of me, filling me and stretching me with each move. Sweat broke all over my body as I held my breath, biting down on my lip to keep quiet and riding him until my hair was matted and my cheeks aflame.
Jason relaxed. It was always slow at first, confidence growing with time. He used my hips to swing me back and forth, thrust his ass up, and rammed his cock into me with increasing force.
I could feel every throb and pulse of his cock inside of me, reaching deeper, impaling me, filling me, and stretching me. A deep rumble rose from my chest and thinned into a moan as I swung my hips back, taking him in.
His pecs flexed under my hands as I pressed my ass hard against his crotch, my balls rubbing against his abdomen as I sat down on him all the way.
It had taken practice and time before we could do this, but it was worth every drop of sweat and every swallowed moan I’d kept deep down.
It felt like climbing a mountain summit or soaring into the clouds or rising to the surface after diving so impossibly deep.
It was thrilling, fulfilling, and incredible in all the ways I had never associated with sex.
“Fuck me harder,” I pleaded, locking my gaze on Jason’s, and dragging my hands up his chest and to his neck.
I only held him, but it did something mad to Jason, turning his eyes shiny with lust and making his lips part a little wider.
Jason’s hips lifted off the bed and rammed into me, making me jump and tense, my hole tightening around the base of his cock.
He grunted instantly, sweat breaking over his brow and chest, and continued to penetrate me just as intensely, but keeping the pace down.
It felt like utter perfection, impossible to put into words.
It felt like being complete at long last, like being whole after I had been shattered and empty for so long.
Jason’s fingers sank into my flesh just above my hips, yanking me down and lifting me up, all the while his hips did the hard work, matching the rhythm and making me see heaven.
He moved his right hand over my stomach, then dropped it to my cock. It pulsed instantly in his fist even before he fully closed it around the shaft, and another moan ripped from my chest. His hand fit me perfectly, warm and tight and careful not to tip me over before the right moment.
We united in this torturous, fiery act, our bodies merging together, yet I needed more.
I needed to climb into his skin and live there.
I needed to feel him in every part of myself.
I needed his hands and his cock and his mouth like I needed daylight and fresh air and someone to smile at me and tell me I looked cute today.
My hands tightened around Jason’s neck, holding on to him for life, as he fucked me faster, his thighs slapping against my ass and making sounds that would probably make me want to fall through the ground later. But now, they were like the best music I’d ever heard, and they turned me on harder.
I rose a little higher, then leaned back, nearly bursting into tears as I felt his cock rub harder against my prostate. It brought me to the edge in an instant, making me tremble and hold my breath because I didn’t know how else to survive it.
Precum trickled down the shaft of my cock and over Jason’s fingers, and I leaned further away from him, arching my back and planting my fists far behind me.
Jason grabbed my hips firmly with both hands again, lifting and pulling me onto his cock, rubbing himself against my prostate because it made me moan louder and made my precum pour faster. He had a mad obsession with it, and it made me feel like I was made of glowing coals.
My body trembled all over. My balls felt tighter. My cock itched. Precum trickled freely, embarrassingly, and smeared us both as Jason brought me down against his abdomen and thighs, replacing the force and speed with a constant, grinding motion that made me stupid with pleasure.
I bit my lip hard and surrendered myself to him entirely.
I threw myself into this sensation, knowing well where it was going, and I let it.
I let it go the way it did. I let myself ride the high of these feelings until my chest shuddered like something had detonated inside me.
My thighs trembled, and my abs shivered, and my arms hurt from supporting my weight like this, but my cock pulsed faster and harder as Jason fucked me, and cum shot in a spray of heat, ribbons landing on Jason’s chest and abs as well as mine.
A tortured moan rose from my lips as I finally grabbed my cock and stroked it, making the feeling last a few seconds longer, just as Jason throbbed inside me, his torso contorting and back arching in a thundering orgasm.
I yanked him down and made our mouths slam against one another, his arms wrapping around my waist and his cock ramming harder into my body, making the feeling go on for a few heartbeats longer.
He kissed me deeply, soothing whatever pain there might have been in the distant part of me that was my actual body. Me, the real me, was so far away from it all, still traversing the galaxies, and collided with Jason’s soul in an impossible, inexplicable way.
“This,” I whispered against his lips. “Damn…we’re getting good at this.”
“You are very, very good at this,” he said, kissing me again. His cock slowly left me, making my hole pulse and tighten, the tremors of our passion still running down my arms and legs, spreading through my body.
I lay on top of him, curling against his heated body, and letting the sweat and cum cool on our flesh as I enjoyed the brilliant light shining from within us both.
I stayed there with him, breathing him in, letting the noise in my head finally go quiet.
Whatever tomorrow brought could wait. For now, there was only the steady rise and fall of his chest beneath me and the simple, astonishing fact that I wasn’t alone in this feeling.
I closed my eyes, warm and spent and safe, and let myself believe, just for tonight, that this was enough.