Chapter 3
~
June
I had only the lightest headache from my escapade the night before, a quick fix thanks to Madison’s veteran hangover cure. Fortunately, she hadn’t prodded too much for details about how the night had gone..
Because the truth was that I wouldn’t even have been able to explain it..
Thinking back, I couldn’t believe how… informal the conversation had gotten. But at the same time, it didn’t feel unnatural. I’d actually enjoyed myself. That wasn’t something I’d been able to say in a very long time.
Besides, it wasn’t like it was all for nothing, anyway. I was still making contacts, still simply being friendly with people who could end up playing a big role in my future goals. It wasn’t a big deal. Or so I thought.
During Lucas’s Monday morning class, I hadn’t expected him to acknowledge me in front of everyone at all. But when he didn’t return my greeting smile, I was surprised at the sharp slice of hurt it caused.
I sat down, set up my laptop and notes as usual, and ignored Chloe and James’s banter as the world continued to spin around me. But I felt like a deflated balloon. Did I do or say something that night that I couldn’t remember? Had I been drunker than I’d thought?
It didn’t take much for me to start thinking that I did something wrong. Lucas continued on with the day’s lecture as seamless as usual, which only amplified the hollow pit in my stomach.
I had to force myself to concentrate on the actual lesson, and by the time class was dismissed it was just as well I didn’t have an actual plan of action because he called me to stay back anyway.
I made my way to his desk as everyone else filed out. Not sure what to expect, I shifted nervously from one foot to the other.
“Was there something wrong?” I asked.
Lucas looked at me for a moment, then sighed.
“I’m glad that we got a proper chance to speak on Saturday, June.
I enjoyed getting to know more about what led you down this career path and what your ideals and principles are.
But I also noticed something else that I need to warn you about.
Whatever was going on between you and Ronan Locke… it needs to end before it starts.”
I felt my throat clam shut.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said dumbly, but it was true. I’d picked up that Ronan had been flirty with me, and yes, maybe I’d flirted back a little, courtesy of the wine. But it wasn’t anything serious.
If I was any good at reading people, I was sure that Ronan was the type to flirt with any and everyone for sport. He was just enigmatic that way, and I hadn’t thought of myself as special because of it.
But Lucas looked unconvinced, his face stone cold and a far cry from the friendly warmth I’d witnessed on Saturday. For some reason, that bothered me more than I wanted to admit.
I’d liked hearing him praise me. I’d enjoyed the smiles he shared with me. I was receiving none of that now and I hadn’t anticipated how much I would miss that already.
“I’m serious. As someone who’s invested in your future success, I’m telling you that you need to stay away from him. It’s best to keep your head down and just keep focusing on your studies,” he said.
Something in my gut twisted. I was always focused on my studies. If there was anything worth knowing about me, it was that.
“With all due respect, Professor Blackwell, it really was just harmless fun. I think you’re reading too much into it,” I answered, keeping my voice as nonchalant as possible.
Lucas’s mouth tightened but he didn’t say anything else, simply dismissing me and I left the lecture hall under a cloud of confusion.
I was grateful for rowing practice after the disaster of a class. I needed something to take my mind off of the awkward encounter I’d had with Lucas, and Coach Hayes yelling at us to push ourselves harder and harder was almost sure to do the trick.
Another day, another land session.
“I’m starting to think she has a vendetta,” Madison said through gritted teeth as we finished the last round of drills. I laughed, grateful for the distraction. The coach stood a way off, looking pleased with our performance.
“Okay ladies, great job today. Rest up because our next practice is going to be on the lake,” she said, making a note on her clipboard.
Madison mumbled something that sounded rather profane before walking off to get our water bottles and then handing me mine.
“I am considering quitting,” she announced before gulping down a mouthful.
“No you’re not,” I said, taking a few desperate sips of my own.
“Okay fine, no I’m not. But I was very, very, very close to considering it.” She splashed some of the water onto her face. Just as I was about to answer, I noticed someone sitting beneath a tree near the edge of the field. A man, his frame newly familiar to me.
Oren Reed.
He had a book in hand but even though he appeared to be reading, I could swear I caught his gaze drift up from time to time, discrete as it was brief. A spark of electricity seemed to move down my spine.
I immediately thought back to Saturday night, the quiet way he carried himself and joined in the conversation occasionally. But those intense blue eyes were enthralling, and I could feel them on me now.
Madison had no idea what was going on and I mentally shook myself to re-engage my focus. “I’m sorry, I spaced out for a second. What were you saying?”
She raised an eyebrow at me but didn’t comment on it.
“I said that it’s easy to get lost under the weight of everyone’s expectations.
My parents haven’t stopped talking about graduation this year and what my plans are gonna be after.
The semester’s barely even started. I think if anyone knows about that kind of thing, it’s you. ”
“Oh. Yeah,” I said. “Have you told them about your plan to take a year off to travel?”
“Not yet,” she replied, sounding as though it was going to be a rather insurmountable task. And knowing the Ashfords, she wasn’t wrong. “I’m warming up to it.”
“The longer you wait the harder it’s going to be, Mads. You know that,” I reminded her.
“I know, I know. But look, it’s hard to explain to them. They don’t get it. They don’t understand that sometimes the things we want aren’t always practical. Just because I have the means to keep studying, doesn’t mean I have to,” she said.
“It’s your life at the end of the day. I’ve always admired how strongly you set your boundaries,” I told her, meaning every word. She smiled at me.
“You could do with some of that yourself. Even if the person you need to set the boundaries for is you,” she said. “But I’m so sick of it, June. All the expectations and pressure. I have no idea how you do it.”
My eyes drifted once more to Oren. He was now staring right at me intently, his hand raised in a small wave of greeting. I returned the smallest of nods, one that Mads didn’t notice.
“But you’re right, especially this year being our last. I say we both have every right to live life to the fullest and take whatever we can get,” she said. “To hell with what everyone else thinks.”
Oren’s head tilted to the side in a gesture that I understood to mean he wanted to speak to me.
“Yeah,” I agreed with her. “I think you’re right about that. I’ll meet you later, okay? I have someone I need to go see.”
Mads and I split ways and I began walking towards Oren, who’d also started moving towards me.
We met halfway on the field. I briefly wondered if he was also going to give me a warning like Lucas, or maybe reprimand me for something else.
Even as I approached, he guarded his facial expressions so well that I couldn’t tell what to expect.
“Good to see you again, Miss Price,” he said.
Like Lucas’s laugh, Oren’s voice had the effect of being disarming, especially because it was so rare to hear.
“I didn’t mean to disrupt your day, I just wanted to discuss something with you.
You mentioned that you were interested in working for Muller & Co. , correct?”
I nodded, my mind suddenly fully snapping to attention at the mention of the company.
“I have a friend who works with a third-party recruiter they have on retainer. There’s rumors that there may be a promotion shuffle. Which means that they may have a junior position opening soon, and I happen to know someone with specialized talent who might just be perfect for it,” he said.
My heart felt like it was going to burst with excitement. A small sound of disbelief left my mouth as I tried to process what this meant. Oren held up his free hand. “Now this is still just a rumor. I don’t want to oversell anything but I thought I’d let you know.”
“Thank you,” I said, trying hard not to do something embarrassing in front of him. If it’d been just me and Mads, I might’ve started jumping up and down or shrieking with happiness.
This was the opportunity I’d been waiting for. Even if it was just a rumor, the fact that there was the slightest chance at all for a new opening was unheard of in the last decade.
And besides that, the competition was always so tight that for the most part, it'd been accepted to not even bother applying. That was one reason I’d been pushing myself as hard as I have been.
But knowing that Oren thought I might be in with a chance, enough to even share this with me… and he hadn’t been the only one. I shoved away thoughts of Lucas and tried to focus on the positive feelings of the moment.
“Thank you,” I repeated myself. “I’ll keep doing my best to earn that spot, should it open up.”
His stormy eyes flickered, the corner of his mouth tilting up into a near-smile. Then he merely nodded at me and walked back to the main campus building. As I made my own way back to the dorms, I couldn’t help but replay those words over and over in my head.
I knew Madison had made a big speech about having fun but this year…this was my sign to keep going. When I made it one day, when I reached a point where I was at my goal, then I could turn back and take a break and enjoy myself.
But would that even really be worth it? When I was older and more jaded and perhaps more afraid because I’d never truly allowed myself to let go? I didn’t know. And for someone like me, the not knowing was one of my biggest fears.