Chapter 5
~
June
I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened in Lucas’s office.
It was unlike me to have my thoughts so easily disrupted every time I tried to focus on something else. I hated how distracted I became during study time. I hated how even during rowing practice, my thoughts would drift back to the way his hair tickled my neck when we’d almost kissed.
I felt branded by what happened, despite the fact that in all technical regard, nothing had actually happened. And it was starting to show in my performance.
“I think you’re clear for the day, Price,” Coach Hayes said, after I’d pulled too early for what must’ve been the fifth time in one session.
She pinched the bridge of her nose as though I was a headache she was trying to smooth out.
“Go get cleaned up and meet me back here when you’re done. We need to talk.”
I winced, but nodded and climbed out of the sweep boat, dropped into the lake and swam to the shore.
I barely caught Madison’s eye as I left, too humiliated to even look at her.
Practice was almost over anyway, and I knew I wouldn’t have much time to enjoy the peace of my inner turmoil before she’d corner me again.
By the time I reached the boathouse, I was moving on autopilot, making my way to the showers. I gingerly peeled off the wet top and unisuit, goosebumps immediately pocking my skin under the cool breeze that drifted in from the open doors.
Just as I’d tossed the wet pile of clothing to the side, I heard a scuffle, as though someone had stumbled into the equipment lining the wall. I turned around immediately, grabbing my clothes from the floor to cover up.
Lucas stood in the doorway, his face blanched with shock. His eyes darted to the side immediately.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to creep up on you. I knew you had practice today and wanted to catch you before our next class,” he said by way of explanation. But his voice was so different to the usual calm, suave cadence he used when lecturing.
He sounded caught off his guard, uncertain.
Memories of our almost-kiss flooded my mind full force. I was so used to analyzing things, and the entirety of the day since then, that’s exactly what I’d been doing. But I hadn’t yet come to the acceptance of the most glaring fact that I was faced with—I’d wanted him to kiss me.
That was the short of it, the sum total of all the confusion and panic and worry that I’d been dealing with so far.
I’d been attracted to him since I first saw him, more so the more I got to know about him.
And now…now I didn’t want to overthink. I didn’t want to think at all.
I tossed the clothes I was holding to the side, and when he heard the thud as they landed on the boathouse floor, his eyes slowly, hesitatingly, returned back to me.
“This couldn’t have been done in an email?” I asked. He liked me bold, didn’t he? He’d said I needed to work on my confidence, believe in my ideas. I had a few right now that I thought he might like.
“I wanted to apologize to you in person,” he said, the words coming out heavy and falling like cinderblocks. His eyes raked down the length of my naked and wet body, drinking me in.
“To make sure it won't happen again?” I asked.
“Yes.” He took a step towards me; careful, calculated. He was giving me an out, reciprocating the action I’d taken by staying naked. This was a back-and-forth the way we’d previously exchanged ideas.
“And you don’t want it to?” I asked and this time I took a step forward.
I could see the quiet hitch of his chest as his breathing deepened. His face looked tortured, like the same kind of conflict I’d been battling all day was showing in his expression. But part of me had been angry with him for pulling away the way he did.
Part of me wanted revenge.
“I shouldn’t,” he answered. We were close enough now that if either one of us reached out an arm, we would touch. I looked down and saw that he was hard in his pants. My breath caught in my throat but I said nothing.
I wasn’t sure what to do after the teasing. I didn’t have that much experience behind me, and now I was being thrown into a practical that no amount of theory could ever possibly prepare me for.
“You’re holding back,” I noted, not sure what else to say but the truth. “You want this just as much as I do, don’t you?”
He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. All the rules I’d lived by, sworn by, suddenly disintegrated in that campus boathouse. For the first time I just didn’t care.
Lucas broke first and I let him.
He closed the remaining gap between us and wrapped a hand in my wet hair, tilting my head to the side and bringing his mouth to mine. A low moan clawed its way out of my throat, muffled by the kiss.
He kissed me like he was mirroring the same emotions I was feeling—curiosity, fear, longing. But above all, he kissed me like he was hungry.
I could feel both of our walls breaking, all the pressure of expectations and perfectionism melting into desire. Burning under it.
My arms came up and wrapped around his neck and I pressed my body as close to his as I could. He groaned at the feeling, pulling back just enough to be able to bite my bottom lip and pull lightly.
“You are such a bad idea,” he said, voice darker and more husky than I’d ever heard it.
“Maybe,” I admitted, reaching up to kiss him again.
He backwalked us until he had me up against the nearest wall, my legs wrapping around his waist as his kisses trailed to my cheek, then my jaw. I felt the tip of his tongue trace the outer shape of my ear and I shuddered against him.
“Off,” I demanded, breathless as I tugged on his jacket. “Please.”
He made a sound that bordered on a growl, then shucked off his clothing. I grabbed at them too, desperate to feel his skin against mine. There was no more pretending that this was anything other than what it was.
His impatience rivalled mine but his stubbornness won out.
He slid down my body, peppering kisses on my still-wet skin, his tongue snaking out to taste me until he reached his destination between my thighs. I gulped hard, uncertain. Suddenly now, with him staring up at me with dark, eager eyes, clarity pierced through the haze of my lust.
“Wait, Lucas, I didn’t shower—” My words were cut off by a gasp as he put his mouth on me without any hesitation.
My mouth fell open, my head dropping back against the wall behind me. If I thought he was hungry before, he was absolutely starving now. I tried holding onto whatever purchase I could find to steady me, and his hands immediately gripped my hips to keep me upright.
Bit by bit, I felt my body unwind like a spool of wire. After a lifetime of toeing the line, I’d finally jumped right over it. Nothing else mattered but the feeling of his tongue, the pleasure that swept over my body in waves.
My mind went blank.
It wasn’t even just that Lucas knew what he was doing, though he certainly was no novice. It was the way he tasted me like I was some kind of limited edition flavor, as though he had to get his fill before I disappeared.
It was the knowledge that a man who up until now had been so disciplined and put together was unraveling on his knees before me, losing control the more I squirmed.
The memories of him teaching the class with that calm demeanor flashed through my mind and I looked down to catch his eye as he ate me out like a mad man.
He propped one of my legs on his shoulder and gripped my ass, pulling me even closer.
I covered my mouth, biting into my palm to try and muffle the sounds that were trying to escape me.
But soon enough I was coming undone. My eyes rolled back and I shattered, my body spasming as everything around me disappeared briefly against the backdrop of my orgasm.
My legs felt wobbly, but Lucas kept his hold on me as he stood to his feet, then lifted me up. He looked at me, a desperate question written on his face that even now, with him so close to the edge, he still felt the need to ask.
I nodded, barely able to catch my breath before he slipped inside of me.
Knowing that I’d been taken care of first seemed to unleash a different side of him. I had to hold onto him tightly as he began to thrust, his hips rocking into me so raw and intensely that I had to bite down hard onto his shoulder to keep from making a noise.
It was less lovemaking than fucking but I needed this. I needed to let go, to feel him let go with me. My nails scraped down his back, harder than I meant to but he only moaned at the feeling, hips stuttering.
We were both panting, chasing that last high until the spell broke. Sounds of approaching conversation drifted in from the outside and just like that, we snapped back to Earth.
He let me down, and with speed that I didn’t think was possible, got dressed. There was only time for him to give me one final look before he was forced to duck and hide in the back section where the extra equipment stored would afford him coverage.
Fortunately, they would also help obscure the open window that would most likely serve as his exit.
I tried to steady my racing heartbeat, my mind still muddled by the insanity of what had just happened as I grabbed my clothes and made my way to the shower.
I let the hot water run over my body, ignoring my surroundings as my team filtered in—completely oblivious to what had just transpired mere minutes ago.
I’d just had sex with Professor Lucas Blackwell in my varsity boathouse. And more than that… I’d loved every second of it.