Chapter 24 #2
“I was a sophomore engineering intern for my uncle’s firm,” he said. His voice was lower than normal, a bit slower too. Like he was feeling out uneven ground. I put my mug on the table and gave him my full attention.
“I didn’t know you started out in engineering,” I said lightly.
“It was my first love,” he confessed. “I was pretty obsessed with precision, even at nineteen and nothing is quite as demanding of precision as engineering.”
“Why’d you change fields?” I asked softly.
He scratched the back of his neck, his eyes darting off to the side again.
“You don’t have to tell me if it makes you uncomfortable,” I said soothingly.
“I want to,” he answered. Then he took a deep breath, clearly recalling something he ordinarily didn’t like to share.
“We were doing a final inspection of a small pedestrian bridge over Fletcher Creek. My uncle left me in charge of the final torque-check on the suspension bolts. He was even more meticulous than me. I mean, he was the type of person who considered a 1% margin of error to be a personal insult.”
I snorted softly. “Must run in the family.”
“I’m not that pedantic,” he said defensively.
“Not judging,” I copied his words from earlier. He smiled, then got serious again as he continued his story.
“Anyway, some friends of mine pulled up. They started shouting at me about some lake party and insisting that I was going to miss out because it was the last one for the summer. I was nineteen and stupid. Even for a control freak I just wanted to be more normal for once, have fun,” he said.
I nodded. I knew exactly what that felt like. Oren’s brow furrowed.
“I had twelve bolts left to check. I did the first sixty perfectly, I knew that. The math was solid and the safety factor was 3:!, it was practically overengineered,” he continued.
I knew where this was going. “You left.”
His grimace looked pained. “Jumped in the Jeep and left the last twelve bolts hand-tight. A couple of teenagers decided it would be a good idea to set up a dare game jumping off the bridge into the creek. It was like a giant pair of scissors, the loose bolts snapped off until the main support girder unzipped completely. Thank God no one died but they were badly injured. One of the kids ended up in a coma for weeks.”
That put so many things into a greater perspective. I now understood why Oren was so obsessed with details and data and numbers. He’d see those twelve bolts in every potential failure. I put my hand on his knee.
“It wasn’t your fault, you know that, right?” I said.
“The bridge should’ve held,” he replied, his voice so soft that I barely heard him. “And it would’ve, if I’d just finished the damn job. The numbers were right but they stay where you put them. They didn’t go to a lake party and compromise the integrity of that bridge.”
“Oren, you may have made a mistake but so did those kids. They weren’t even supposed to be there.
Look, you understand math better than most. It was a bunch of variables at play, that’s all.
Your choices and theirs.” I reached out and cupped the side of his face.
“You’re allowed to be human. You’re allowed to breathe. ”
As uncomfortable as he looked, I knew that there had to be some kind of catharsis to be able to admit it out loud. To be able to relax by just acknowledging your fallibility.
“I get that your perfectionism is your way of torquing the bolts. But I know just how exhausting it gets after a while,” I continued. I stroked my thumb across his cheek. “You’re allowed to have fun. The bridge isn’t always going to snap.”
I felt more than saw his whole body relax on an exhale. His eyes danced as he leaned into my hand, the raw vulnerability exposed there making my heart clench. This time, I took control and leaned in. The kiss was gentle at first, comforting more than anything else. But it didn’t stay that way.
I remembered how Ronan commented that Oren was the last person he would’ve thought would be foolish enough to do something like this. I had become that dangerous variable and he’d chosen me anyway. But I wanted him to let go for once, to just feel instead of perform.
I deepened the kiss, one hand slipping to the back of his neck and holding him there. He groaned against my mouth, his tongue finding mine as his own hand ran up my thigh. When we finally broke apart, we were both breathing hard.
“Take me to bed,” I whispered, brushing my lips against his. “Let’s have some fun.”
His pupils were blown wide, a look of sheer desire on his face as he nodded wordlessly and lifted me up from the sofa, my legs wrapping around his waist. He practically walked blindly, trying to kiss my neck instead of focusing on where he was going and we had a few close calls, almost knocking into a wall or two and simply laughing it off.
When we’d slept together in his office, it’d felt intense and almost animalistic. But this felt playful and light. I loved that I could feel his ease and comfort with me, that I could return the safety he’d given me when he pushed my body to do things it hadn’t done before.
He gently laid me on his bed, then pulled away. He had a wicked grin on his face; the look of a man who had something planned. “I bought something.”
“Oh?” I asked, adjusting myself until I was leaning on my elbows. He hummed, then walked over to his bedside dresser and pulled something from a small box. My mouth dropped.
“When did you…?” I asked.
“A few weeks ago,” he confessed. “I was hoping to get the opportunity to use it on you soon.”
He passed the toy over to me and I turned it over in my hands. It was a little bullet vibrator, and from the looks of it, was more on the expensive side of things.
“How thoughtful,” I said, only half-sarcastically.
“I aim to please,” he said, leaning down to kiss me. I stopped him with a hand to his chest. He frowned. “Is everything alright? We don’t have to use it if you don’t want to.”
“No, I definitely want to use this,” I said. “But not on me. On you.”
Oren laughed. “It doesn’t quite work that way.”
“I’ll get creative with it. Nothing crazy, just… I want you to let me take the reins today.” I let my hand trail down his chest. “Please.”
He thought about it for a second. I bit my lip. “Okay. We can try that.”
“Really?” I sounded like a little kid who was just being allowed to walk into a candy store.
“Yes. I trust you,” he said. The certainty behind his words filled me with delight just as much as it excited me. My eye snagged on one of his neckties draped over a chair and yet another genius idea sparked in my head.
“I have another suggestion Mr. Boyscout. Think you can teach me how to tie a knot?”
*
I’d never really experienced a lovemaking session that felt quite like this before.
Oren had found the idea amusing but that didn’t prevent him from explaining how I could safely restrain his wrists and pin them to his headboard.
I’d removed his shirt but hadn’t let him take the rest of my clothes off just yet, and I found that oddly exhilarating.
“How much longer are you planning on torturing me?” he asked.
He was already hard in his pants but I had no intention of relieving him of his agony any time soon.
The clothes he usually wore hid a powerful body that was probably the most muscular out of the three.
I trailed a hand down his torso, relishing the feel of him and his breath hitched. Oh, I was going to enjoy this.
“I haven’t even started yet,” I said mischievously, leaning over to claim another kiss.
It seemed that having him restrained left him aching to show his presence in other ways.
He maneuvered himself so that one of his legs rested between my thighs and before I could even protest, he’d raised it against my core.
I moaned in surprise, jolts of pleasure shooting through me as he tried his best to add as much gentle pressure and friction as he could.
“You just can’t give up control for even a second, can you?” I asked, shoving against his chest as I lifted my hips.
“Oh, come on,” he complained. “Ride it. We both know you want to.”
“What I want is to teach you a lesson,” I announced, moving away from him with admitted reluctance.
His eyebrows shot up. “A lesson?”
“Yes. I want to teach you that it’s okay to let go and let someone else take the lead. You don’t always have to carry the burden of responsibility on your own and if the only way to get that message across is to fuck it into your brain, then so be it,” I said.
He blinked at me in surprise. But once he processed my words, his mouth curved into a sexy, horny smile. “Yes, ma’am.”
A chill ran down my spine. I liked hearing that more than I thought I would.
“That’s better,” I praised, running a hand through his hair. “See? You can listen.”
His grin widened, recalling those same words he’d said to me during our last solo play session.
I could be his mirror in more ways than one.
I began to kiss him again, setting the pace this time.
Oren was kind enough to follow my lead, not pushing or trying to speed me up even though I knew he was getting more and more turned on by the way his breathing deepened.
This was the first slip of control he was willing to give me and I wanted more.
My hands began to explore the canvas of his body, my nails lightly scratching whatever spot had him twitching under me. He was a lot more sensitive than I would’ve expected for a guy as tall and broad as he was, but the duality of that drove me crazy.
“You’re behaving yourself,” I mumbled, biting down on his nipple. His hips rocked up as he groaned, and I quickly lavished my tongue over the bruise.
“We both like rules, remember?” he gritted out. “But you’re not making this easy for me.”
“That’s kind of the point.” I ran a hand down his stomach to his crotch and reveled in the sound he made when I began to rub him. “I think I like you like this, Oren. You’re so compliant.”