Chapter 26
~
June
“No, James, you can’t fight a squirrel.” The exasperation in Chloe’s voice only caused the rest of us to burst into laughter, a fact she didn’t seem to appreciate. “Hey! Come on, just leave it, I’ll buy you another sub!”
The rest of us watched in amusement as James attempted to run down the little critter who’d somehow managed to scale his leg and steal his lunch right out of his hands. It was a sight to behold.
“I don’t blame the guy. That was genuinely disrespectful,” Mads said with a shrug.
“Let him try to get the sucker. Everyone knows the squirrels here are basically thugs,” I added. “Bona fide thieves. He’s doing it for everyone else who’s ever lost food to the Squirrel Syndicate of the Boston Common.”
Chloe glared at us, her hands on her hips. “That’s all good and well to say when it’s not your boyfriend trying to square up to a rodent.”
“Aw,” Mads said, injecting a lethal amount of mock emotion into her voice. She put a hand to her chest dramatically as she turned to me. “Did you hear that, June? She claimed him.”
“I’m about to unclaim him if… oh shit, did he actually catch it?” Chloe looked horrified as she squinted in the near distance. We could just about make out James widening his stance and sticking out his arms as though preparing to launch an attack.
“Please go stop your boyfriend from committing a murder,” I advised. She sprinted off, one or two of our other friends running with her. I sighed in disappointment. “Well, you certainly can’t say that he’s boring.”
“Just completely unrefined,” Mads observed. Then she nudged me and leaned in closer, lowering her voice so that only I could hear her. “Which is why you prefer your men older, am I right?”
“Shut up,” I hissed.
“Only kidding. Kind of.”
We walked together for a bit, arms linked as we took in the sprawling grounds, lined with bare trees that allowed us to see the city skyline beyond.
Snow dusted the landscape, and at the center of the holiday buzz was the giant, white spruce tree already bedecked with ornaments and just waiting for the annual lighting ceremony.
The smell of wintery nostalgia filled my nose; sharp, cold air, woodsmoke and roasted nuts, fresh pine and balsam. It warmed me up inside, made me feel lucky to just be here in the present.
But Mads’ line from earlier still rang in my ears, not just for the scandal I was still trying to keep at bay but because the source of the comment and scandal was supposed to meet me here very soon.
We just completed a round at the nearest food stall when I saw him in the crowd.
He was dressed in a tailored wool overcoat, with dark denim jeans, scarf and beanie to stave off the cold.
I had no idea how Ronan managed to pull off the polished look so well even while wearing a beanie. Must be the cardigan effect.
“Hey, there’s someone here that I wanted to see. Catch you later?” I asked Mads.
“Yeah, catch you later,” she said, clearly distracted by the still-ongoing fight between James and the little thief who evidently brought backup.
I shook my head and walked in Ronan’s direction. He met me halfway, one of those familiar easy smiles on his face.
“Miss Price,” he said in greeting.
“Professor Locke,” I greeted back.
“Up for a walk?” he offered.
I nodded. We were still playing it safe.
There was nothing particularly egregious about a professor and his student hanging out like this, exchanging pleasantries in public where anyone could see us.
But every time our arms brushed, or we caught each other’s eye, a spark of electricity would surge through me.
I’d been so nervous when we started this but now I had to admit that flirting this close to the danger line was part of what made things exciting. It was the knowledge of the secret we shared.
We played a brief game of catch-up, skirting around any of the serious issues. It was so nice to actually forget about everything else for just a little bit. The atmosphere around us was whimsical, like the living manifestation of the coziest holiday card. I wanted to enjoy this moment with him.
As we bought snacks and walked and laughed together, I got a glimpse of what a future could look like. It was a reminder that I wasn’t just in this for the sex, and that something real was coasting beneath the veneer of insanity. Just as the first musical act was announced, I turned to Ronan.
I decided I had to broach the topic first.
“How have you been recently? You know, given the specific set of circumstances,” I said.
“Introspective,” he admitted. “It’s not the most conventional of relationships you’re suggesting.”
“I didn’t think you were one for convention,” I replied.
“Perhaps not. Lucas and Oren though…”
“Have you spoken to them since the last dinner we had?” I ventured.
Ronan shook his head. “Not really. Not about that, in any case. But I know them well enough to know when they’re mooning around about something. What about you? Has your position changed at all since you last made your demands?”
I knew that he was teasing but there was still the tiniest flicker of guilt that brought heat to my cheeks. “No. It hasn’t.”
Ronan chuckled. “I’d have been disappointed if it did. Knowing what you truly want is an artform.”
“Well, I’ve finally accepted what I want.”
He looked at me expectantly.
“I would never have thought it was possible to feel the way that I do. Whenever I thought of love it always seemed so static and all-consuming. Like it was this big, powerful force that could only ever truly belong to one person” I confessed.
Ronan listened to me intently. “At the start of all this, I thought it was just attraction, plain and simple. But the way I feel now… The truth is that my feelings for all three of you have moved beyond just physical attraction. And that’s a lot to grapple with. ”
I felt almost hollow in the wake of what I’d just admitted.
It was the first time I’d ever said that out loud to another person and for a brief moment, I felt the urge to hide.
But then I felt the side of Ronan’s hand as he curled his pinky around mine, binding us together.
It was such a small gesture, completely inconspicuous to the rowdy crowd around us but to me, it felt as grounding as an anchor.
It was a small reminder that he was here, with me, sharing this moment with me.
And I instantly felt safe. And when I looked up at him, I saw all the reassurance I would ever need written on his face.
Reassurance that I wasn’t crazy, that I didn’t need to be ashamed of myself and that he wasn’t going anywhere.
“You know, love is too big of an experience to confine to pragmatism” he said, his gaze drifting off to the side discretely. When his eyes returned to me, I could see the playfulness returning. “However, physical attraction does still play a big role, don’t you think?”
I followed his line of thinking, suddenly in desperate need of somewhere quieter and even an iota more private.
The day would come where I could just kiss him out in the open and not have to worry about anyone seeing it.
But until then, we’d have to make do with abandoned parking lots and after-hour library rendezvous.
Or, in our case, the back area of the outlying sampling village tent he’d just spotted.
I didn’t look around or keep my head on a swivel as though I had something to hide. Instead I smoothed my step, barely glancing at him as we moved towards our destination.
Fortunately for us, the time was drawing near for the entertainment program and many of the spectators were now moving closer to the central area of the park. We’d barely made it out of the general line of visibility before Ronan pulled me into his arms and kissed me.
My arms twined around his neck and I immediately rose to my tiptoes, swept up in the feeling of it all. The noise of the crowd only added to the sense of danger; a sweetener, if anything. As the kiss deepened, Ronan grabbed my leg and wrapped it around his waist.
“If there was somewhere more private…” he breathed in the brief moments we pulled apart. I giggled.
“And here I thought exhibitionism was something that might appeal to you,” I teased.
“One of these days it might,” he warned. He wrapped a hand in my hair, pulled my body even tighter against his. Despite the cold weather swirling around us, I felt like I was burning up from the inside. “I want everyone to know who you belong to.”
*
“Give it a minute before you head out,” I said, straightening out my clothes.
My head was still spinning from the intense makeout session we’d just had, and I was hoping that my friends might mistake the flush on my skin for a reaction to the cold.
Ronan wore a shit-eating grin, sweeping out a grand hand.
“Of course. Enjoy the rest of the evening with your friends,” he said.
I rolled my eyes before braving the public eye again, fresh adrenaline still pumping through my veins. But as I approached my waving friend group, I noticed a familiar face staring at me. I didn’t recognize him at first, but the closer I got, the more his features started becoming apparent.
The bald head, obscene in this weather, was definitely the most defining feature.
It was Professor Johnson.