Chapter 17
seventeen
It’s barely seven o’clock, and I’ve already showered at the campground’s communal facilities, walked to the convenience store on-site to get a large cup of coffee, and am sitting at a picnic table next to the RV with my laptop.
I’ve always been an early riser, and I guess the time zone change isn’t going to affect that.
I’m not complaining because having this time to myself before everyone else wakes up is precious.
The sleep did me good, and I’m going into today with a clear head.
The first day is behind me, and all the nerves and excitement that went along with that have died down and clarity has set in.
I might actually be able to pull this off.
I’ve never had this kind of freedom within a job, and though it’s still scary, it feels good.
Creatively, there’s so much to explore. Inspiration is endless.
I want to edit some photos so the guys can use them for their social media, but before that, I need to check in with Lola. She sent me a few texts last night, but I was too wiped out to read them. I woke up this morning in my bunk and still had my shoes on.
Lola
Send me photos of the RV and your space inside. I need to visualize it. Better yet, a video.
Lola
Send me photos of the show. Bonus points if Jesse and/or Ever are shirtless.
Lola
Did you know Mabel used to own a bakery with her sister?
She came over tonight, and Benji filmed her making cheesecake to send to her grandniece.
She let me help. She’s a fucking natural in front of the camera!
Benji’s trying to talk us into starting a YouTube channel.
And her s’mores cheesecake was luscious.
It’s almost the best thing I’ve ever had in my mouth.
Lola
I see you’re still at the bar, and I know you’re busy, but I’m going to bed and just wanted to say good night. Miss and love you.
I take a photo of my to-go coffee cup next to my open laptop with the RV in the background and send it to Lola with the caption,
Will send video of the interior later. Everyone is sleeping now.
Then I open my photos from last night and send her a few random shots.
It was a PG show not a thirst trap, no shirtless pics. You get what you get, not sorry.
Send me Mabel’s video. I wanna see it. And you, I already miss your face.
And lastly, I can go the rest of my life not knowing who the best thing you’ve ever had in your mouth is. I appreciate the restraint shown, thanks for under-sharing.
An Instagram notification pops up with a message.
Good Guy
First day on the job done. How did it go?
This is perfect timing. I can catch up with everyone before I dive back into work. He’s quickly turned into the friend I never knew I needed and don’t want to do life without.
First day was exhausting, but good. Emotions were high.
Which I expected, because I was so nervous.
But I never really considered that it might be a roller coaster for everyone else too.
Stupid, I know. Do you ever get so wrapped up in worrying about your own life that you forget other people are dealing with their own shit too? I need to do better.
Good Guy
I’m trying to do better with that myself. I think it’s human nature, though. Focus zooms in when things feel out of control, and it zooms out when they’re under control.
So, my selfish assholery will pass when I’m not stressed?
Good Guy
I have a hard time believing you’re capable of assholery, selfish or otherwise.
Note to self: Do NOT introduce Good Guy to Lola, as she’ll spill all my dirty little secrets, including moments of assholery.
Good Guy
Everyone treated you well? More importantly, do you feel safe?
I’m not gonna lie, the thought of you in an RV with two people you’ve known for hours kept me up last night.
Let’s just say, I know far more about Ben Gatlin now than anyone probably has a right to, even his therapist. If I get hit by a bus, please delete my browser history because it looks sketchy as hell.
He’s not secretly a serial killer, is he? I narrowly missed one at the airport yesterday, and don’t want to find out I jumped from the frying pan into the fire.
Good Guy
A serial dater? Seems likely. A serial killer? 99.9% sure he’s not. And serial killer??? Narrowly missed??? Airport??? Yesterday??? I feel like that should’ve made the post-flight wrap-up chat.
It’s followed by a cat with wide, shocked eyes GIF.
Joking. Mostly. To answer your question, I feel safe.
It’s only been one night, but so far sharing an RV with a couple/strangers hasn’t been awkward.
Hannah and Ben have the bedroom space at the rear, and I have a bunk over the cab in the front, so there’s separation and privacy. I think it’s going to work out well.
Good Guy
And what about the brothers?
Have you ever met someone and felt comfortable from the start? Like they weren’t judging you and you could just be yourself?
Good Guy
Yes. You.
That makes me smile.
Same. But you’re a unicorn, Good Guy. Lightning doesn’t strike twice. This never happens to me.
Good Guy
Trust issues?
Probably.
Good Guy
What about past boyfriends? You didn’t feel like you could be yourself with them?
I stop and think.
Nope. If I’m being honest, I don’t think I let my last boyfriend in at all. He’s still a shithead for cheating on me, but I need to take accountability for my shortcomings too. Vulnerability is scary. I’m not ready to unpack it all yet.
Good Guy
I think we’re more alike than either of us realizes. Also, he cheated on you? He is a shithead.
Yeah. And he seems genuinely happy with her. He’s making an effort. She seems fun. And nice. It might work. My pride took a kick to the groin typing that, btw.
Good Guy
And how are you?
I’m surprisingly good. Is it horrible if I admit the only thing I miss is sex?
Full disclosure, he wasn’t great in bed, so I’ve missed it for a very long time.
YEARS. God, maybe now that I really think about it, forever?
Maybe I read too much romance and have unrealistic expectations.
You’re charming and funny and have those super sexy tan lines, so you probably can’t relate to my predicament.
It’s so nice to have someone I can talk this freely with.
Good Guy
Believe it or not, the sexy tan lines aren’t the lure one might imagine. I’m going through a bit of a dry spell myself.
Well, hell, you mean I should just stick to no socks and my vibrator this summer?
Good Guy
I’ve seen your legs. Believe me, the lack of sexy tan lines is working for you. Skip the socks.
Before I can blush or respond, another message comes through.
Good Guy
I’m glad you feel comfortable with the brothers. That makes me feel better. I know all there is to know about them too.
You’d like them. They’re down-to-earth and just nice.
Jesse is more outgoing and has endless energy.
I don’t think he’s ever met someone he couldn’t win over.
Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, wants his attention.
He reminds me a lot of my sister. And Ever is quiet and private and has this low-key intensity, but he’s also really funny.
And ridiculously good-looking, so maybe I’m just bewitched by his smile.
Good Guy
Is he your type? Physically?
He’s hot. He’s everyone’s type.
Good Guy
Do I detect a love connection in the making?
Has anyone ever told you you’re a delightful blend of hilarious and delusional?
Good Guy
Hilarious and delusional? No. Hilarious? Once. It was my aunt, and she may have had one too many Old Fashioneds. That still counts, right?
I’m going to blindly trust drunk auntie and agree. But you’ve admittedly researched the brothers, I’m sure that included photos. The man could model. And I don’t know how old he is, but I would bet my life savings I have a decade on him.
Good Guy
He’s 26.
Well, good thing I don’t have any savings. Older than I thought, but the math still isn’t mathing. I’m 34.
Good Guy
You date younger guys?
Never have.
Good Guy
Never???
It was always a rule of mine. Which, admittedly, I should probably reevaluate when I’m ready to date again because I have a miserable track record.
But Ever is off-limits for so many reasons.
1. See above model comment. My feet are firmly rooted in reality where mega-attractive men like him are fantasy, not possibility.
2. Hannah’s contract states all the guys are off-limits.
(Which is flattering, but laughably unwarranted.) 3.
He’s a cool, talented, touring musician with endless possibilities; and I’m a suburban, unemployed project manager neck-deep in an existential crisis.
Good Guy
You had to sign a contract that you wouldn’t hook up with anyone?! $100 says you’re infinitely cooler than him. And you’re not unemployed. You’re a gifted, professional photographer.
The contract is comprehensive and forbids sex with anyone related to the tour while we’re on the road.
Maybe this is standard filmmaking stuff, but it seems over-the-top unnecessary.
And I’m not a professional photographer.
I’m a woman who likes to take photographs and is lucky to have this opportunity.
Good Guy
You’re getting paid to take photographs. (You are getting paid, right??? Because if you’re not, I’m about to get VERY pissed on your behalf.) By definition, that makes you a professional. Own it, you’re a badass.
I’m hesitating because, technically, you’re right. (About the professional part. Not the badass.) Huh. There’s a warm and fuzzy thing happening in my chest right now. Thanks, Good Guy.
Good Guy
That’s pride. You earned it. And photos are always welcome and encouraged. I love seeing the adventure through your eyes.
You’re here with me in spirit, but I’ll send photos too. And that goes both ways, photos are always welcome and encouraged. Have a great day. x
His friendliness is rubbing off on me.
Good Guy
You too. x