Chapter 29 #3
“Excuse me, did you just say you’re going to be on the cover of Rolling Stone?” Lola’s eyes are bulging.
He nods.
“Today is the thirteenth,” I say.
He laughs, but it’s humorless. “It’s supposed to release today, so they’ll be that fallout to deal with too. Fuck, this just keeps getting better,” he mutters, not out of anger but exhaustion.
Bending my knees, I scoot forward and lean back so my head rests on the armrest. When I look at him, he looks so vulnerable. I want to shut out the world to make sure it never hurts him again. “Is that what you want? To be done with that chapter?”
“It’s not about what I want; it’s about what I need. It’s about survival. It was toxic. I couldn’t live in that world with those people anymore.” It’s so sincere, it hurts.
“Ever, sweetie, it sounds like mistakes were made, but you learned important lessons,” Mabel says, and he nods. “What if you took some time to rest and regroup, and then you reinvented yourself on your terms and righted all the wrongs?”
“I don’t know,” Ever answers, honestly. “I mean, it sounds great in theory. Contractually, I can’t release any music until next January anyway, but—”
“That’s why you insisted I was the only one to sign the contract with Ben and Hannah for the tour and documentary, and you wouldn’t add your name to the Thicker Than Water bank account,” Jesse says, like he’s just solved a puzzle.
“Yeah, I can’t break the contract. I set up a single-member LLC for Thicker Than Water in your name too. It protects you and your livelihood and income.”
“I thought that was weird, but I just thought you were trying to make things less complicated since it was a temporary thing. Shit, you were playing the long game in case it turned into something, and the label came after you. You were insulating me. You should’ve told me, Ev, and not carried this alone,” Jesse says, and the older sibling in me relates so much to wanting to protect.
“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry. I hoped it wouldn’t escalate,” Ever says.
Mabel picks up her earlier thread. “Here’s another way to look at it, Ever. Knowing what you know now, if you had it to do all over again, what’s the first thing you would do differently?”
“I wouldn’t have done it alone. I would’ve told Jess, Mom, and Big Dave everything from the beginning.”
She nods emphatically. “Good boy. Because no one should do life alone.”
“I didn’t want to burden them,” he whispers.
“I know we weren’t as close back then, and I was out of the country doing my own thing, but you could never be a burden,” Jesse says.
“And not going it alone means having an emotional support system, but it also means having a professional support system you can trust. No more soulless vultures,” Mabel adds.
Ever sighs. “Definitely. Everyone from management to PR was referred to me by the label. They were all in bed together. I got thrown into the deep end and had no idea what I was doing. I had to trust someone or I would’ve drowned.” He pauses. “Hell, I drowned anyway.”
“So, put together a team of life preservers, not sharks,” Mabel offers.
“You need a manager pronto,” I say. “Your identity is out. The breakup announcement of Treachery’s Riot has been made. Your life is about to get very complicated, whether you want it to or not.” When I see the fear creep into his eyes, it kills me. “I’m so sorry, but it’s true.”
“This might sound crazy, Ever, but I know someone who would be perfect for the job,” Lola says.
“Who?” Ever asks.
Lola smirks. “You’re rubbing her feet right now.”
“Lo—” When I start to object, she cuts me off immediately.
“Shut it. You’re shit at talking about yourself, so let Lola take the wheel.
” She looks from me to Ever. "Soph took me in when I was pregnant, and our dad kicked me out. She dropped out of college and went to work so I could finish high school. She worked two jobs to pay the rent on our apartment, buy food, and help me with medical bills. Since the day Benji was born, she’s co-parented.
She worked sixty hours a week at her last job, and over eight years, learned everything there was to know about the insurance industry.
She could’ve done her boss’s job and her boss’s boss’s job.
Not only is she the smartest person I know, but she’s organized, and she’s meticulous, and she’s creative, and she’s tenacious, and she’s never met a problem she couldn’t come up with a solution to.
If she doesn’t know how to do something, she doesn’t let it stop her; she just figures it out.
And she puts her whole heart into it. The woman has literally put her life on hold for me.
” She swallows hard, and even though my vision isn’t 20/20 due to the alcohol, I can tell she’s on the verge of tears.
“Lo, I haven’t put my life on hold. There’s nowhere I’d have rather been than here with you and Benji.”
She smiles and the tears slide down her cheeks.
“Soph, we love you so much, but it’s time for you to chase your dreams. You can do anything.
You weren’t built to be a cog in the corporate machine, grinding away for people who don’t appreciate you.
It’s time for you to stop doing basic bitch stuff and get out in the world and start doing unicorn stuff. ”
When I don’t say anything because she’s right—that’s exactly what I want—she continues, “You’re the happiest I’ve ever seen you these past few weeks. Taking photos, being out on the road with these two, traveling, meeting new people, doing things you’ve never done, it’s been—”
“Scary,” I offer.
She sniffs back snot, and Mabel hands her a napkin.
Wiping her nose, she whispers, “And that’s so damn beautiful.
” Pausing, she blows her nose. “You’re discovering the person I always knew was inside.
Why do you think I’ve always looked up to you?
You’re a badass, Soph. Go out into the world and show them who the fuck Sophie Wren is. It’s time to dominate.”
Jesse stands and claps. “Hell yeah.”
“Dominate? You make me sound like a super villain.”
Jesse drops back down in his seat and laughs. “You’ve got range, girl. You just can’t see it like we can.”
Ever laughs quietly next to me. I look from Jesse to Ever.
And then I scan the rest of the faces in the room ending on Benji.
He shrugs. “It’s a compliment, Aunt Soph.
You’re fierce. Like, what would you say if I came home and said someone was bullying me at school?
Would you tell me to handle it on my own?
” I shake my head, and before I can say anything, he says in his best impression of me, “We ride at dawn, Benji.”
Lola sticks two fingers in her mouth and whistles.
My face is heating up under the attention.
Mabel stands and says, “They’re right, Sophie.
It’s time to raise some hell, honey,” before yawning wide and stretching.
“You’ll have to excuse me, but it’s past my bedtime.
” Opening the back door, she adds, “Big hearts in this room, I’m proud of all of you.
Ever and Sophie and Jesse, you need to team up.
The rest will sort itself. You’ve got us.
We’ll protect your peace when it gets hard or when some sonofabitch tries to steal it.
I know a little jiu-jitsu. It’s been a while, but my chokehold was vicious back in the day. Love you all. Good night.”
We all call back and watch her walk to her tiny home through the window.
“I wish she was my grandma,” Jesse says.
“Same,” is the collective response.
Ever’s hand rests on my stomach, palm up, asking for mine. I slip my fingers between his. “What do you want, Soph? Or more importantly, what do you need next out of life? Are you open to change, or do you want to go back to a corporate job?”
These questions would’ve been hard to answer a month ago, but in so many ways I feel like a different person now.
Sophie 2.0. “The security of a corporate desk job is tempting, but I don’t think I can go back.
I want to be my own boss and dictate my worth.
I want to travel. I want to surround myself with good people.
I’m definitely happiest when I’m helping others. ”
“What about your photography?” Lola asks.
“I think it’s always going to be my hobby, and I wouldn’t mind doing shoots every once in a while, but I don’t think it should be my career,” I tell her.
“I enjoyed doing it while we were out on the road, but I got more satisfaction dealing with venue staff, or logistical issues, or growing social media presence, or selling merch, or interacting with the crowds. It was all about looking at the big picture and trying to anticipate next steps and analyze growth potential. It’s like the skills I’ve learned over the years were finally being put to use in the real world, and it felt so damn good to be trusted and valued for what I brought to the table. ” I pause and look at Ever.
He squeezes my hand to reassure me. “Always trusted. Always valued. From day one when we started talking online.”
Smiling, I squeeze his hand back. It’s a silent thank you. I look from him to Jesse and back again. “What do you guys want? What do you need?”
Ever defers to Jesse, who blows out a breath and twists the bill of his cap from the front to the back.
“My first inclination is to say I don’t know because my life’s been out of control for a while, but, selfishly, I’ve loved performing.
Hand me a mic and let me act a fool, that’s pretty much the dream job description.
I mean, life is hard, but if I can get on stage and make people forget about their problems for an hour while I do the same,” he shrugs, “it doesn’t get much better than that.
And to get to do it with Ev has been everything I didn’t know I needed.
If there’s any way we can keep this going, I’m all in.
Let’s write some songs. Let’s record. Let’s tour.
I mean, it sounds like we’ve got about six months to work on it so it doesn’t interfere with your old contract.
That’s plenty of time to prepare. But if what you’ve been through is too much and you need out, or need to take a break, or need something completely different, I understand.
I don’t want you to do anything that fucks with your head.
” He spins the bill back to the front and then takes it off and runs a hand through his thick, unruly blond hair, and puts the hat back in place. “What about you, Ev? What do you want?”
It's the moment of truth. “I want to hunker down in a house on a few acres. Preferably with a view. Somewhere that inspires creativity. And I want to set up a recording studio there. I want rest.” He pauses and thinks.
“Or maybe more than rest, I want to quiet some of the noise in my head.” Ever worries at his bottom lip for a few seconds.
“When I agreed to go out on the road with you, getting on stage was the last thing I wanted to do, but I did it for you.”
“Ev—” Jesse starts, but Ever cuts him off.
“No, listen. We were both running from something. But at some point, running from turned into running toward. A new path opened up. I got to do everything I loved—playing music for people—without all the other bullshit. And I met Soph. And, for reasons I’ll never understand, she agreed to come out on the road with us. ”
“You guys are fucking hot. That’s the reason,” Lola deadpans.
I shrug with a straight face but then crack a smile.
He smiles too. “Long story short, playing with you, Jess, and being with you, Soph, has brought me back to life. I need to hit the whole Raven reveal and Treachery’s Riot breakup head-on, instead of hiding.
I need to find a new attorney and deal with my old label.
I’m tired of the threats. And then I want to take our time writing some songs, and recording and producing them, Jess.
I want to find a label that’s a good fit and understands our vision.
No rushing, no pressure to make decisions we’re not comfortable with.
And then I want to tour again but do it my way. That’s what I want.”
Jesse nods and says in a voice that leaves no question. “I’m in.”
Ever looks at me. “We can’t do it without you. I need someone I trust to be my boss.”
“Saying yes should feel scary, but I don’t think a decision has felt more right in my entire life. I know it’s going to be stressful and overwhelming at times, but I’m ready.” I glance over at the Tally filled with check marks on the wall and smile. “Fuck it, let’s do it.”