Chapter 33 #3
“Gus has a soft spot for anyone over the age of seventy or under the age of eighteen, so there’s no chance he’s backing out. I think he’s more excited about this than you are,” Scout says.
Gemma belly laughs. “Not a chance in hell I’ll be missing that. Those two together are full-on, you’re brave women.”
“Lola’s a content creator.” Audrey’s stating the obvious, but something in Lola lights up like it’s the first time she’s acknowledged the validity of the title. I want to hug Audrey for what she just did for my sister. Audrey looks at me. “And you’re a photographer, Sophie?”
Lola butts in before I can answer. “She’s going to tell you she’s not, that it’s a hobby. But don’t listen to her. Photography is only one of the superpowers in her arsenal.”
I shake my head, but smile when I look at Audrey and concede, “I had a short stint as a photographer when I went out on tour with Ever and Jesse for a few weeks, but I think those days are behind me. I really enjoyed it, but photography will always be a hobby.”
Scout picks up her phone, and her thumbs fly over the screen. When she sets it down between Audrey and Gemma, she says, “She’s being humble. Look at these. She’s incredible.”
My Instagram page is on display, but I’m oddly calm as I watch Gemma and Audrey scroll through. Maybe it’s the alcohol. Or maybe it’s progress. Who am I?
Gemma looks up and grins. “I don’t ever want to hear the words photography and hobby come out of your mouth in the same sentence again. It’s forbidden. These are so good, Sophie.”
Audrey agrees and then looks at Scout and says, “Album jacket. And website.”
Scout smiles and agrees, “Yes, ma’am,” like she was thinking the same thing.
Gemma nods exaggeratedly, and her topknot bounces. “Defo.”
They’re clearly so close that they carry on conversations with few words.
I’m lost until Audrey looks at me and says, “We’d like to hire you. We’ve been looking for a photographer to work on the jacket for Rook’s next album, and Scout wants to update their website.”
Scout adds, “Gus hates photo shoots, so they haven’t done one in a couple of years. It’s time.”
When I look at them, thunderstruck, Gemma whispers, “Say yes. Saves a lot of time to say yes straight away, because they’ll wear you down in the end anyway. Cute on the outside, honey badgers on the inside.”
I look at each woman, Lola included, and they look equally anxious to hear my answer. “But…” And that’s where I stall out.
Lola shakes her head and presses a finger against my lips to shut me up. She looks at the others. “Soph is a boss bitch in every way, except acknowledging it. She’s not there yet.”
Gemma takes another sip of her drink. “We’re a straighten each other’s crowns kind of girl gang. No shit talking yourself allowed, only problem solving and world domination.”
“Were you scared when you started managing Rook?” I ask Scout.
She sighs, but she’s smiling. “How many conversations did we have before I pulled the trigger and did it?” she asks Audrey and Gemma.
Gemma holds her hands up. “I’m drunk, and I don’t have enough fingers to count. But it was a lot.”
Audrey nods and then looks at me. “She went back and forth for months. Worried she couldn’t do the job.
” She puts her hand up to her mouth like she’s sharing a secret but doesn’t lower her voice.
“Spoiler alert, she can do anything she puts her mind to. She also worked for me at the time and felt guilty leaving. I was, of course, sad to see her go. She was invaluable. But I always knew she was capable of so much more, and I wanted that for her.”
Scout smiles. “But we ended up working together again.”
“Again?” Lola asks.
“I sold my advertising firm two years ago when Scout, Gemma, and I decided to start the label.”
“I thought the label was Rook’s?” I ask.
“Rook’s on the label, and Gus and Franco are involved as producers, but the company is one hundred percent women-owned and operated,” Scout explains.
“Holy shit, I didn’t know that. So, you three run the label?”
They all nod.
“Badass,” Lola whispers, grinning.
“And you’re still managing Rook?” I ask Scout.
She nods. “Yeah.”
“Were you always involved in the music industry, Gemma?”
“Nah, not until I met Franco. I’m an architect.
I still do small side projects because I love it.
Right now, I’m overseeing an affordable housing cooperative in Carlsbad.
It’s an experimental, multi-family structure, with a focus on sustainability and space-saving efficiency.
The label’s an opportunity to look toward the future for my family, though, especially since Rebel’s obsessed with music like her dad.
It’s the perfect opportunity to spend more time with all my favorite people. ”
Lola and I look at each other, floored. “There’s some intense female energy flowing here. This is what you need to tap into. There’s a reason we’re here, Soph.”
I take a deep breath and let my truth out into the open. “I’m so scared to fail. And that’s a good thing sometimes because it motivates me to work harder and persevere. But sometimes it prevents me from trying something new. Or dreaming of what’s possible.”
“If you never try, you’ve already failed,” Audrey says, and it’s not the first time tonight I’ve wondered what it was like for Gus growing up with this woman. It’s no wonder he’s achieved all he has with her as a role model.
“I know,” I admit, and I’m a little embarrassed saying it in front of these women, even though I don’t think they’ll judge me.
“Fear as a sole source of motivation is exhausting. What about pride, satisfaction, fulfillment, or plain-old joy? Do they motivate you?” she asks, gently.
I stop and think. “I feel like I haven’t earned that privilege?” It comes out like a question. “Grinding to survive has been the mode I’ve been stuck in. I’m trying to transition out of that, but it’s challenging.”
“What was your previous career?” Scout asks.
“I was a senior project manager for a major insurance company.”
She taps her finger on the tabletop, and I wonder if this woman’s brain ever rests. It’s like seeing my reflection in a mirror. “I’m assuming you led a team?”
I wobble my head. “Technically, it wasn’t in my job description.”
“But you did it anyway.” It’s not a question.
When I don’t confirm, Lola does. “She did. Her boss was clueless and got the job through cronyism. He was an ass.”
I nod. “That’s true. He was an ass.”
“And you moved your way up to that position?” She asks the question like she already suspects the answer.
“Yeah, I started in an entry-level position, learned on the job, and moved my way up,” I confirm.
“So, you’re highly organized, a problem-solver, a self-starter, a leader, creative, dedicated, hard-working, adaptable, and dependable.” She pauses and looks from Audrey to Gemma. “Am I missing anything?”
“Loyal. I’ve watched you with your family and friends tonight. You care deeply, and you’re very protective. You’d walk through fire for them,” Audrey says with a smile.
I nod. “I would.”
“She has,” Lola says. “Over and over.”
“I’m not sure how to explain it, because,” Gemma holds up her margarita glass, “tequila, but you just have this thing about you. Like Scout. Maybe it’s the still water runs deep thing. From the moment I met you, I was like, oh, this is a woman you don’t fuck with.”
“Are you trying to call us bitches?” Scout teases, wholly unoffended.
Gemma shakes her head. “No. Or maybe I am, I don’t know. It’s one of my favorite things about you. You’re so fucking real, and that’s intimidating to a lot of people. You’re grounded, unflappable.”
“I feel like that’s one hundred percent, Scout, but me?”
Lola jumps in. “You’re exactly right, Gemma. Soph can’t see it, but that’s who she’s always been. Unapologetically real. She’s never tried to impress or be someone she’s not.”
Scout smiles. “All that to say, you’re not gonna fail, at this job or any other.
It’s true, you’ve never managed a band before.
But you have all the skills to succeed. And look who you’re working with.
This isn’t Ever’s first rodeo. He might be young, but he’s been through stuff.
He knows what works and what doesn’t. Open communication with your band is everything.
Stay open-minded, be prepared to pivot at a moment’s notice, and when necessary, be a bitch.
I say that with all due respect, be an absolute bitch when necessary.
The world we live in demands it. When it comes to negotiations, especially as a woman, there are people who won’t play nice.
People who will overlook you. People who will dismiss you.
People who will discount you. That’s when the gloves come off, and you take a stand for your band, and for yourself. ”
“I needed this,” I tell her, honestly. It’s Mabel’s It’s time to raise hell philosophy, but blunter. “Have you all always been this confident, or is there something in the water in San Diego?” I ask, only half-joking.
“I’m pretty sure Audrey came out of the womb a fully formed, functional adult, so…” Scout says.
Audrey smiles and humbly says, “I’ve always been quite independent. And stubborn. When I get an idea in my head, I’m like a dog with a bone.”
Scout raises her eyebrows. “Understatement. And the best mentor a girl could ask for.” She points at Gemma. “And this one’s British, it’s in their DNA.”
Gemma takes a sip. “Yeah, I’ll give you that one.”
“But me? It’s been hard-earned,” Scout says.
“You were born a baddie, Scout,” Gemma reassures.
“I don’t know,” Scout says honestly. “After the accident,” she points to burn scars on the side of her face that run down her neck and arm, “I tried to make myself invisible. I shrank and retreated. It was getting to know Gus and being around Audrey that helped me grow into the person I am now. They weren’t family, so it hit harder when they supported me.
It was like they believed in me so much that I didn’t have any choice but to believe too. ”
“It’s like that with Ever. His faith in me isn’t based on hidden potential, but a foregone conclusion. Like he knows things about me I don’t.”
She starts nodding before I finish my sentence. “Yes, that’s it. It’s like they have a crystal ball and can see that you’ve already achieved all the things you think aren’t possible.”
“Where can I get one of those?” Lola asks with a deep chuckle.
“Wait,” Gemma says. “I thought you and Jesse were together. Did I get that wrong?” She looks around the table, confused. “I’m usually so good at this. The chemistry’s there, right?”
I rest my elbow on the table, rest my chin in the palm of my hand, and narrow my eyes. “Have you and Jesse?”
She purses her lips, but the corners tip up, and she looks guilty as hell.
I scoot back in my seat and grip the armrests. “Oh my God, you fucked Jesse.”
She shakes her head. “Not yet. There was a kiss.”
“A kiss?” I ask. I know my sister, it rarely ends with a kiss.
“And a handy,” she says in a rush. “But we got interrupted, so does it really even count?” she asks, skeptically.
We all answer in unison. “Yes.”
Gemma claps and laughs. Lola’s won her over completely.
“He’s been through a lot. I’m trying to be patient and take it slow,” she explains.
“Who are you and what have you done with my sister?” I ask.
She cracks her trademark smile and admits, “I know. It’s fucking killing me, Soph.”