Chapter Sixteen
Franny felt mortified. She tried to let the hot spray of the shower wash away that feeling along with all the allergens.
It didn’t work. Well, she stopped sneezing. The throbbing behind her eye was starting to fade. Eventually the antihistamine would kick in. She’d probably be a little tired, but by the morning she’d feel good.
Well not good, because the humiliation settled deep.
She’d just wanted to feel normal. Instead she’d proven to literally everyone involved she was the opposite. When it had been so nice to leave the apartment, to leave Hope Town, to not worry about library cards or burned books or Albennie.
Brooke was so nice, and Franny kind of missed being on a ranch. Or maybe she just missed it because it had felt like freedom.
On a deep, only slightly wheezy breath, she turned off the water. Her eyes had stopped watering, and she hadn’t sneezed in a while.
She hadn’t grabbed clothes before she’d come in there. Well at least she had a towel or that would be really embarrassing if he hadn’t left.
Surely he’d left. Hightailed it back to safety. He was probably talking with Brooke right now about what a strange little weirdo he’d been assigned to protect.
She dried her hair then wrapped the towel around her, just in case. She stepped out of the bathroom then stopped short. Royal was standing there. For a moment, they were both perfectly still, staring at each other.
Then he jerked his head up, looking at the ceiling.
But there was that…brief second where his gaze had drifted…down.
Wasn’t there?
“Sorry. I thought you’d…be dressed,” he said, sounding gruff. “I just wanted to… Do you need anything? I’m still worried about you.”
Worried. That was…sweet. But she was in a towel. “All my clothes are in my room. So I’m just going to…” She sidestepped, holding the towel tight. “Get dressed. I’m good. I’ll…be out in a minute.” She nearly leaped for her door and then closed it very firmly behind her.
It was silly. The towel covered what any dress would. Well, maybe not any dress as she wasn’t prone to wearing anything that short, but still.
It didn’t matter. He wasn’t looking at her any way, and the worry was that the woman he’d been assigned to protect might die from cat allergy instead of crazed kidnapper she’d IDed.
Frustrated with herself on just about every level, she pulled on some baggy athletic shorts, and because she couldn’t be bothered to put on a bra, an athletic top with support built in. She left her hair damp and down, because it didn’t matter how she looked.
He’d seen her use her inhaler. She needed to stop holding on to some strange little seed of hope that the hot cop who’d grown up in a biker gang thought there was anything even remotely interesting about her.
She stepped out of her bedroom, determined to play all of this as just normal. Something that could happen to anyone. Ha. Ha. Ha.
But he was standing there still. Right across from her room door. Waiting for her.
She tried to smile but wasn’t sure she managed. “All better,” she said brightly.
But he crossed the small space between them. He studied her face very intently, then framed her face with his very large, very rough hands and tilted her face up toward the light.
For signs of allergic reaction, Franny. Stop letting your imagination play tricks on you. Because in her imagination this would lead somewhere very different. In her imagination, she was the kind of woman who knew how to issue an invitation.
And then knew how to behave if such invitation was accepted.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked very seriously.
“Yeah.” She nodded. He didn’t move his hands, so her cheeks just kind of brushed up against the rough palms. God. “I’m a big girl. I know how to take care of myself.”
He cocked his head.
“Well, you know, with how to handle an allergy attack. Not so much the whole kidnapper threatening me thing.” She tried to smile, but he was so close. “See? I haven’t sneezed once since I got out of the shower.”
“Yeah, an improvement, but your eye’s still swollen.” And then his thumb swept under said eye, and she forgot all about the pounding in her temples, that swollen feeling when she blinked, how much her eyes itched.
Because he was touching her with such gentleness and touching her at all. Even though she knew he was doing it in like a first responder, worried about her health way, she couldn’t get that message through to all the pleasure receptors in her body.
“Well, uh, the allergy meds will take a little while to kick in. But I already feel ten times better. And learned my lesson that I did not, in fact, grow out of my terrible dog and cat allergy.”
She should move her head. Step away. She knew she should, but her body wasn’t listening.
And he wasn’t moving. His hands were still on her face. His expression had changed slightly. He didn’t look…concerned.
He looked intent.
Stop. Dreaming.
But she didn’t heed the warning in her head. She stayed very still. She was afraid to move. If she moved, he might move. And she wanted to stay right there for as long as humanly possible.
What happened to not imagining things?
But then he was closer. His head tilting toward hers, his hands still on her face. She could feel his breath across her mouth, the warmth of his body. She could smell…something on him. Soap or cologne or…
His mouth was just a whisper away from hers, and she could think of no rational reason for it. Checking her pulse? Making sure her eye hadn’t fully swollen shut?
No, none of that made sense, the only thing that made sense…even though it didn’t, was that he was…going to kiss her.
And he did. Kind of. His lips touched hers. She barely felt the contact. It was so light. Like a test. For both of them.
She’d always enjoyed acing tests, so she moved to her toes, touching her hands to his chest as balance.
And then it wasn’t light at all. His grip on her face changed, somehow firming and gentling at the same time. The kiss wasn’t…wild, but she didn’t know what it was. Serious, like him. Intent and thorough and absolutely mind-emptying.
And it just seemed to last. He lingered, and she lingered, and surely she was just hallucinating or something, but she’d take it. If it felt this good, she’d sure as hell take it. Especially since she could feel the unsteady beating of his heart under her palm.
He eased away, but for a moment their lips still faintly brushed, their breath a little ragged, mingling. She inhaled deeply, opened her eyes. To his blue ones staring intently at her.
Then he kind of sighed, slowly dropping his hands. Then stepping back, leaning against the wall opposite her.
Franny didn’t breathe. Her skin buzzed. And there was not one useful thought in her head. Not one.
He had kissed her, and she could not rationalize that simple fact away.
Royal cleared his throat. “I… I should apologize.”
Apologize. Right. The humiliation continues. “Okay.”
“It’s just… I shouldn’t be…” At least he seemed almost flustered. He wasn’t trying to humiliate her.
Just succeeding at it.
“You don’t have to explain,” she said, proud of how…calm her voice sounded. “You didn’t like it. You don’t have to manage my feelings.” She even smiled at him, because he didn’t. That was her job. And she was damn good at it.
But he didn’t move out of the way. He frowned down at her. “Didn’t like… That’s not why I’m sorry. It was a good kiss, Franny.”
She opened her mouth, but…no, she had absolutely no words ready to respond to that. He’d really emphasized the word good.
“But this is my job. My new job. Maybe I’m off field training, but I’m still on probation for six months.
They can fire me for no reason if they want, and I came into the job with reasons, Franny.
I don’t want to give them another one. If I’d been stupid enough to do that about ten feet to the left, it would have been on video. And I’d have been out on my ass.”
Well, that was a sobering thought.
“I crossed a line. One I can’t afford to cross again.
” He said it so…forcefully. Maybe she hadn’t fully realized until right now just how important his job was to him.
She knew, just from what she picked up on, that getting on the right side of the law meant something to him, but this job in particular wasn’t something he was going to jeopardize.
She could accept that. It was actually very honorable—though she didn’t think he quite saw himself that way. But she did. Maybe… Maybe she could find a way to show that to him. Just how far he’d come, if he wasn’t willing to accept it himself.
She desperately wanted to do that. He deserved that. So she smiled at him. “So, hypothetically, when this is all over…assuming you know, I don’t get murdered by some crazed kidnapper in the process, a kiss like that could…repeat itself. Once the job was over?”
ROYAL STILL DIDN’T know what had possessed him. Well, he understood the inclination, just not having the control to stop the actual acting on the inclination.
She just looked… Something about the wet hair and the swollen eye and her smiling at him like she was fine, when she was a bit pathetic, it undid something in him.
It shouldn’t. It didn’t make sense that it did. And yet he couldn’t seem to rationalize all these…impulses when it came to her away.
He desperately wanted her to be safe and comfortable and happy and… Boy, if he started inserting himself into her life that was not going to lead to any of those things.
He wanted to say so many things. Mainly that there were no hypotheticals about it. The minute it didn’t threaten his job he wanted his mouth on her. Among other things.
But that was the problem.
“I don’t think you understand…” He didn’t know how to articulate that this was a him issue. She seemed so certain… Saying he didn’t like the kiss when he’d been the damn one to initiate it. She seemed so sure of herself, but those little uncertainties shone through and just…