Chapter 13 Paula
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
paula
Going out with my siblings was a bad idea. No, scratch that, a terrible idea. I’m going to feel this in the morning. All six of us are doing our best to tiptoe into the house. Peter slips and crashes into the table.
“Be quiet,” I hiss. “Do you want to wake up Mom and Dad? Or, even worse, Pierce?”
“Oh God.” Peter groans. “I’d rather wake up our parents than him.”
Huh, at least he realizes the absolute terror our big brother can be. I always thought he had some sort of hero worship happening where he was concerned. I guess you learn something new every day.
You’d think with all of us growing up with a winery, we’d have a high tolerance for alcohol. It’s not the case, at all.
Me, Piper, and Parker are mostly fine. Tristan didn’t drink so he could drive us all home. He’s too sweet for his own good. Peter and Phillip on the other hand…there is no way they will feel up to going to check out the winery.
Tristan turns to me and pulls me to a stop. “You wait right here. I’m going to make sure the rest of them get to their beds.”
I mock salute him and sit on the sofa. Tonight was more fun that I thought it would be. If Pierce had gone, he would have been a bump on the log and made everyone else miserable. I’m happy he decided to come home.
I think back to earlier in the night when Tristan asked me to dance.
It’s not something I normally do, but I wanted to with him.
That was before I even finished my first drink.
His hands on my hips as we moved to the rhythm of the music, and it felt good.
Better than I’ve felt with anyone else. Each and every moment I spend with him, changes the dynamics between us.
My sister would say alcohol has something to do with it all the emotions, but even now I’m not drunk. I know how to have a good time without getting shit faced, unlike my siblings.
The absolute joy I’m sitting with is from spending time with my family without having to worry about any obligations. Hell, nobody even brought it up. Why can’t our eldest brother do the same thing?
“Why are your brothers so hard to put to bed? I swear they are like babies.” Tristan whispers as he comes back into the living room.
“That’s how they’ve always been. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve had to cover for them.” Maybe that’s why Pierce doesn’t like me. I was there for the younger ones the way he should have been there for me.
“I believe it.” He reaches for my hand and I let him take it. “Are you ready for bed?”
“Oh my gosh, yes. It’s been a long freaking day. And I hear my new comforter calling me.”
He doesn’t say anything else, only leads me into our room. My new pink comforter is spread across the bed and it clashes with everything in this room, but I don’t even care. At least I know I’ll be warm tonight.
“I’m gonna go change in the restroom so you can get your jammies on.”
“You don’t have to.” I try to argue but he holds up his hand.
“I really do.” He grabs some things out of his bag. “I’ll be right back.”
Tristan runs hot and cold. At times I know he feels something toward me, and then he plays the perfect gentleman.
I don’t know if it’s for my benefit or his.
But I can’t help wondering. We’ve only been together for a day, but we’ve been talking for a couple of weeks, and I’ve gotten to know him a bit better through that time. We mesh well together.
I knew doing a fake relationship was going to be a bad idea.
It’s hard not to develop feelings for someone you’re friendly with.
Deep down I know, that’s starting to happen.
I’ve never had an inkling of more than surface level attraction with anyone else.
There’s something different with Tristan, though.
Something I didn’t realize I want in my life.
Quickly, I grab my pajamas out of the dresser and change. Next time we do a trip like this, I need to remember to bring sweats. My shorts are not cutting it with how cold the house is.
I slide beneath the comforter just as Tristan opens the bedroom door. “Are you good?”
“Yep. All changed and ready for bed.” Now I wait to see what he does.
He walks around the bed and picks up the bedding he used last night. Damn, I guess he’s not going to sleep in the bed with me. It’s like he wants the two youngest to find us out, even though I’m sure they already know.
To my surprise, he goes back to the other side of the bed. What is he doing? But I hold off on saying anything. Curiosity is getting the best of me.
He sets the blanket on the end of the bed before lining up the pillow down the middle. I can’t help it, I have to ask, “What are you doing?”
“Getting the bed ready to sleep with you.” He cocks his head to the side as if it should be obvious.
“Why are you putting the pillows between us?”
“If there’s something between us, there won’t be any temptation to take things further. You don’t cross the pillow line, and I won’t either.”
I start laughing and immediately cover my mouth. I do not want Parker or Piper walking in on this.
“If that’s what makes you feel better, I guess.”
“It does.” After he’s done building a barrier between us, he lifts the comforter and slides onto the bed. “Good night, Paula.”
With those parting words, he turns off the lamp and rolls over. Oh, so I guess he has to be facing away from me as well. This does answer my earlier musings about if he’s attracted to me. He obviously is if he has to put an obstacle between us. I just wish he’d let himself act on it.
Normally, I can turn over and go straight to sleep. Having someone beside me in the bed has never been a problem since I've been sharing beds with my siblings my entire life.
But tonight, that isn't happening. Even though Tristan breathing has evened out, I know he's not asleep. He keeps tossing, turning, and pulling the covers tighter over him to strengthen the shield he's built.
He also makes a lot of noise when he moves. It’s so loud I’m surprised the entire house can’t hear him.
I'm not sure how long I lay there, but I can't take it anymore. I grab each pillow, one by one and throw them on the floor.
This time he turns toward me. “What are you doing?”
“Getting rid of these damn pillows. They’re annoying.”
“But I put them there for a reason.” He sounds frustrated, but not mad. Which is a good thing, because I don't care if he's mad.
“It’s a dumb reason. We are both grown adults and are capable of sleeping in the bed together. Besides with the pillows there, I can’t do this.”
I walk my fingers across his side before scooting closer to him, testing his boundaries.
“Paula, this isn't a good idea.”
“Says who?”
“Me,” he sighs. “You've been drinking. And I can't be intimate with somebody who doesn't feel the same way I do.” I’m surprised he isn’t ticking the reasons off on his fingers.
I knew that going in. I knew that from the first night I met him. But it doesn't stop me from wrapping my arm around him and getting a teensy tiny bit closer.
His entire body tenses for a split second before he relaxes into my embrace. He’s slowly letting down his barriers.
“Look, I can't say that me and you are going to be forever. Or, that we're going to be anything more than what is happening while we're on this trip, but I do like you. You make me feel like my best self and that I can do anything I put my mind to.”
“That's because you can,” he responds.
“I wasn't done.” I bop him on the nose, and he rears back a bit. “You're the one who told me to try things because you only live once, and life is too short. I am telling you that very same thing right now. Life is too short. We are obviously attracted to each other.”
I can tell by the bulge in his sweat pants. He’s not doing a very good job of hiding his lust.
“So, why not give this a shot?”
“I’m going to be real honest with you right now, Paula. You can always count on me, you know that. But if we do this, there's no way we can come out of this as friends. Not with any sort of attachment we have while we're here. Besides, your parents are right down the hall. What if they hear us?”
I lift my head and press a kiss to his cheek, then his chin, and lastly, his lips.
“I’m okay with that. Because I am doing the same thing. I am taking my shot and giving us a try.”
I wait for a moment to see if he’s going to say anything. When he doesn’t, I continue. “If by the end of this weekend, and when we get back to Asheville, we realize it's not going to work, we'll deal with that then. But right now, you make me feel the best I've ever felt.”
Finally, he wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me flush with his body.
“And your parents?”
I grin up at him. “I can be quiet.”
Those last four words unleash whatever hold he had on himself. He buries his hand in my hair and smashes his lips into mine. His tongue caresses the seam of my mouth, asking permission.
That's the thing that I admire most about him. He will always wait until I give him the cues he needs to move forward.
Tongues swirling, I moan into his mouth. His answering groan sparks every atom in my body.
I slide my hand down his body and begin pulling at the waistband of his sweats.
He pulls away long enough to take off his shirt and throw it somewhere behind him. “Are you sure?”
I love that he's a gentleman, but right now, I need him to stop asking. Hell, I’m the one who instigated this, not the other way around. I nod. “Do you have protection?”
“Yeah.” He chuckles nervously. “I wasn't expecting anything to happen, but I did come prepared.”
It’s good to know he wasn’t completely against having sex when he came on this trip with me. I do respect him for having his boundaries even though I basically made him throw them out the window.
He slides off the bed and rushes to his bag to pull out a condom.
I grab the bottom of my shirt to take it off, but he whispers. “Don’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because I'm doing that.”
I push my thighs together to try to dull the ache. But let's face it, nothing's going to cure this particular problem until he gets back in the bed.
He pushes his boxers down, kicking them off before ripping the condom packet open with his mouth and sliding it over his erection.
Thank God for moonlight is all I'm saying. The rest of the room is pitch black, and that somehow makes everything about this moment more special.
In two steps he's back at the bed, but instead of sliding in beside me, he guides me until I’m sitting up. He plays with the hem of my shirt before slowly lifting it over my head and tossing it over us.
His hand caresses my cheek, then down to my arm, before cupping my breast in his palm.
I've never been into foreplay, but he has me anticipating what his next move is going to be.
I fully expect his lips on mine, but when he leans over, he presses small kisses along my jaw line, before nibbling on my ear lobe. And good gravy, I did not know that was a turn on for me.
After a few seconds of teasing, his lips trail a line down my neck, my chest, before pulling my nipple into his mouth. His tongue swirls around my nipple once, twice before he gently nips it.
This isn't what I expected from mild mannered, polite Tristan. But I am happy I get to see this side of him.
Never in my life have I been with someone who is as intentional with my body as he is. It’s almost as if he’s worshipping me.
Cold air hits me and I realize his mouth is no longer there. He's now trailing kisses down my stomach before hooking his fingers in the waistband on my shorts and pulling them off along with my panties.
His mouth moves lower and lower until his tongue finds my clit. My hips buck up at the sudden sensation and I hold my breath to keep from letting out a whimper.
He moves lower still and his finger replaces his tongue. Nobody I've ever been with has made me feel as frantic or unhinged as I do right now.
I'm pretty sure this is what he meant by not being able to have sex without there being feelings attached. Because those feelings, the need and want, are making this a thousand times better. Especially knowing that he's constantly putting me above anything else.
The motion of his fingers intensifies, and before long I'm squeezing my thighs to speed up my release.
A moan escapes my lips, and he uses his free hand to cover my mouth so I don't wake anybody up.
Now that my legs are no longer shaking, he moves from between my legs and hovers over me.
“You still good.”
All I can do is nod my head. The rest of my body refuses to function.
He reaches between us, lining himself up with me, and takes his time as he pushes forward. Seconds ago, everything felt rushed and in the moment. But right now, every movement is slow, deliberate, and full of passion.
This is an entirely new experience for me, and I don’t know how to handle it. My heart feels heavy and light at the same time. Something that has never happened. I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or bad, but I can’t deny I have more than friendly feelings toward this man.
Time ceases to exist and before I know it, I’m seeing stars. His mouth crashes into mine to swallow the sound. He follows soon after. Slowly he pulls away and lies next to me.
“I thought you said you can be quiet.”
“Well, I wasn’t expecting all of that.” I wave toward his body.
“Me either.” He laughs. “I’ll be right back.”
He puts on his pants and leaves the room. A few moments later he’s back with a warm wash cloth. Even now he’s making sure he takes care of me.
Now, that we’re both cleaned up, we snuggle into each other. There’s no more pretenses of pillow barriers. His arms are wrapped tight around me, and I fear I don’t want to sleep without this feeling ever again.